Topic: Live your life to its fullest and live with no regrets, because every day is the chance to make a new start. Date: 14/2/ 2020 Dear Diary It has been one year since my last entry, in that entry I told you how Brian proposed to me, well…Since then things have been going well I am now living in Denali Alaska with Brian and Tobias, we are living together as one big happy family. Although I rather be living at the beach house back at New York I haven’t been there since I left with the Volturi…I wonder how it would be for me to return there…would I be happy or would I be extremely sad yeah that’s the question…would the power of beautiful and happy memories be able to overpower the darkness and bitter memories of heartache? I wanted to know, and I would find that out time. The Cullen’s and Denali don’t live far from us and in the last year I have found myself blissfully happy with my Fiancée and my son and with my new friends…no my new family I think of the Cullen’s and the Denali’s as family…I love them all, with the exception of Tanya or as I like to think…Lizard girl. I of course watch those thoughts around Edward. The thing is Tanya is always distant to me like she thinks she is better than me. I have formed a close friendship with Alice, Rosalie, Kate and Emmett. We hang out every Friday at my place, just us and Brian. Tobias likes to sleep over at Edwards place on the weekends he spends a great deal of time with Nessie they are best friends. Although Tobias has a crush on her, I believe Nessie knows about it. Esme is kind enough to home school Tobias with Nessie and in a few months they will be starting high school and I thought about enrolling in high school too just to keep an eye on my son…the only problem is I would rather stick needles in my eyes, yeah I haven’t quite forgotten about my last experience with high school. What else can I tell you; well I am back to normal. Two months after my last entry I regained my strength; uh I am ashamed to say I caved in and am now a vegetarian vampire…although Tobias is very proud of me. Although I have to agree with Nessie I don’t see it morally wrong to have human blood as long as it’s donated….of course Brian is saying human blood is still wrong…he is such a wimp…well not really, I have noticed being a parent has really changed Brian…he is serious about Tobias he is a strict parent, but fair…he puts Tobias’ needs above anyone else’s like expected but there is more to it…he is serious. I remember back before I had to leave, Brian was all hyper and excited and playful he was just eager to play with him…it was adorable, but now… Brian is acting like an actual parent, I am kind of embarrassed to say I’m the slack parent I’d let Tobias get away with murder, I guess it’s because I am trying to make up for the years I wasn’t around, Brian loses his temper with me at times he tells me of course that I shouldn’t be so lenient just because I was absent for so long, that I didn’t need to buy our son’s love because he loves me regardless. Oh I get visit’s from Felix occasionally, Since leaving the Volturi with us Felix has kind of been lost, he is looking for someplace to belong, see Aro was the one who created Felix because of Felix’s strength. Now that he has turned his back on Aro to do the right thing…I imagine Felix is suffering some personal turmoil, but Felix will find his way I have faith in him…I think of Felix as a big brother we went through a lot together at Volterra…he protected me and taught me everything I know about combat…It’s sad, but Brian and Felix don’t get along at all…they strongly dislike each other and Brian won’t let Tobias anywhere near Felix, whenever Felix visits Tobias is sleeping over at Edward and Bella’s place. So yeah that’s pretty much everything that has happened within a last year, nothing eventful which is just the way I like it…I have grown accustomed to the peace….that is when Alice wasn’t going nuts in regards to the wedding…Ah yeah the wedding…what can I tell you Diary…it was simply amazing, I had to admit I was very anxious and so help me I swear I could have killed that little nymph Alice for keeping me in suspense the entire time, but I was glad that I didn’t. So what happened was simple. Alice came over to my place with Kate and Rosalie, Alice suggested a shopping trip and well it’s extremely difficult, if not impossible, to say no to her. So we all went shopping and it started getting bizarre when Kate is driving us out of town and of course you know me by now as I so eloquently put it “where the hell are we going.” I could hear Rosalie chuckle and suddenly she pulled out a blindfold “prepare for a very long trip with a blindfold” she spoke amused while Alice helped put the blindfold on. The trip was very long and everything was Dark, I wished I could have seen the scenery, but amazingly enough I wasn’t that board Alice, Rosalie and Kate spoke a lot…of course at one point we ran out of stuff to talk about…Kate the genius that she was suggested a game of I spy…yes let’s play I spy with the woman forced to wear a blindfold see how well that goes over Rosalie eventually returned the discussion to Nessie and Jacob, Rosalie strongly disliked Jacob and you know to be honest I have to agree with her…Jacob is creepy and he is weird he obsesses over a freaking twelve year old ok sure Nessie looks like a teenager, but still it’s that’s pretty much illegal…imprinting my ass…Along with that he is smelly, Rosalie was just talking about all the reasons why she disliked Jacob when Alice started defending Jacob. “Rosalie you forgot to add to the list, with Jacob in the family you will always have to have plastic on the couch so he won’t shed on the couch.” Rosalie and Kate chuckled while Alice was quiet, I imagined my best friend was scowling, but you know I am not the only one to hate Jacob; Brian is on the same page as me on this one he loathes Jacob. I prefer to keep Tobias away from Jacob as much as possible…Although I do with Tobias…Seth isn’t that bad, Seth sometimes comes to visit Jacob and the Cullen’s of course he comes to visit Tobias as well they have seemed to become good friends. I don’t mind Seth that much, he is well mannered and polite, and yeah sure it’s an inconvenience that I have to open all the windows in our house after he leaves, but hey Seth’s cool. After endless hours of traveling the car came to a halt for the last time Alice helped me out of the car and guided me with Help from who I was assuming was Rosalie. Something was strange, I could smell the scent of the ocean “oh god no…don’t tell me we are back at ocean shores, Washington.” My best friends were quiet got a moment and Alice had spoken “I only have so much time here, I want to make everything perfect for you Sarah so if you know what’s good for you girl you won’t fight me” she spoke in the usual musical voice. I couldn’t stop myself from smiling, oh yeah Alice had my curiosity peeked, but Alice always put me in a good mood she is so easy to be around. Alice had Guided me inside a building of some sort, immediately I could smell an overwhelming scent of flowers that were in the distance and she continued to guide me and suddenly I heard a door close, I could smell dust and a lot of old scents. Alice pulled the blindfolds off and I looked around in shocked as soon as I realized I placed my hands to my mouth in shock….I knew where I was, this was the beach house in New York…I was home. “what are we doing here” I asked in shock looking around the bedroom, Alice danced around me and giggled as she stopped to stand in front of me “well today’s your wedding day…Brian thought you would want to have your wedding someplace you knew and loved rather than some church you have no bond with. ” Alice had spoken in her musical voice. I was overwhelmed and I lowered my hands from my mouth “where is Brian” I asked shocked, I wanted to go and kiss Brian, “he is out hunting close by” I turned to the door, I was going to go see him and kiss him and thank him, but when I faced the door I saw Kate and Rosalie blocking the doorway “don’t even think about it Sarah…it’s bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding.” I pouted and Alice walked to the closet and opened it “you know your closet is so small…I am going to have to get Esme and together we will expand it for you” I scoffed at Alice “not everyone has a clothing Fetish like you girl” I retorted as she pulled out three beautiful purple bridesmaid dress Kate had started to speak “Alice we are the Bridesmaids we aren’t supposed to outshine the bride…although I have no complaints…naturally” Kate joked around I poked my tongue out at rose and watched as the three of them got changed in a flash. Alice had left the room and a moment later she returned with perhaps the most beautiful wedding dress I had ever seen “Custom made of course” Alice spoke, of course I was too dumb founded to listen. Alice had helped me into the dress and I looked in the mirror in shock “Alice it’s a beautiful dress, but really can’t I just wear Jeans and a T shirt” Alice looked at me as if I had said something utterly mad “I am going to pretend you didn’t just say that…honestly jeans and a T-shirt Honestly” she complained as she put her hand in mine and dragged me to sit in front of the mirror. Alice began combing my hair and fixing it, braiding a few strands at the front and applying eyeliner “Not much I can do I’m afraid…you’re a natural beauty and all.” Alice spoke with a frown Looking into the mirror I could see Rosalie in the reflection she shook her head and I could hear the words escape from her lips “leave it to Alice to make the bride outshine her bridesmaids” she grumbled while Kate had placed her hand on Rosalie’s shoulder “uh that’s the way it’s meant to be rose” she spoke and I giggled out of laughter for a moment “Rose you can relax, my self-esteem is still minus fifty points with you around” I tried to comfort her. I have never been one to care about looks and how I appear compared to others, but today would be an exception Rosalie of course looked stunning in her long silk purple dress and you know Alice and Kate looked amazing too. While here I was wearing a white off shoulder wedding dress. The dress was elegant and beautiful, but it wasn’t really me I was never elegant or graceful; I suppose I should just go with the magical moment. I mean how many times can a girl get married…well for me this is my second time, but hey it’s not like I had a choice I wasn’t myself, I was what Marcus and the rest of the Volturi wanted me to be...A weak and submissive brain washed queen that did as I was told…but now I am alive and free thanks to my lovely soon to be husband Brian Jacobson…It all started with a kiss the kiss from my true love restored my memories and set the real me free…sort of like a fairy tale, I guess in some ways my life is a fairy tale and soon I would be experience my fairy tale wedding. Alice told us she had to go and make sure everyone is doing their jobs and setting things up, while Kate told Alice not to worry that she would keep me in here at all cost. Alice left and it was just the three of us, hanging out and chatting. There was a knock on the door and moments later the door opened and I watched my son walk into the room, he was stunning he had on a black tux with a white shirt and red tie he looked like his father. “Wow mom you look incredible” he complemented me, I smiled and thanked him, apparently he also inherited his father’s charms. He leaned in to hug me and I hugged my son back. Tobias had told me he wanted to come wish me luck, and I thanked him along with asking him how his father doing to which he replied “He won’t stop pacing…its rather annoying, there is only so many times you can see him walk from side to side of the room without it getting tiresome.” I couldn’t stop myself from laughing and told him to go torment his father and keep him busy he nodded and left the room my son was such a sweetie a few minutes after Tobias left Nessie entered the room she looked around and asked if Tobias was here and I told her he had just left, she gave a sigh of relief “He is a great kid and all, but I am too old for him and he just won’t take a hint…he is so persistent” I laughed and walked to Nessie and placed my hand on her shoulder “He gets that from his father, don’t worry he will give up in a few years….probably” I watched how alarmed she looked “What…years Jacob will have probably killed him by then…I don’t want to keep playing mediator towards them” she frowned “you’re better off with Tobias, he is far smarter than the mongrel” Rosalie had grumbled to which Kate gave an agreeing look and said “that and Tobias doesn’t smell like wet dog” Nessie had glared at Rosalie and Kate “I love Jacob he is my soul mate, and besides I don’t want to be a cougar.” Before I could tell Nessie that she wouldn’t be a cougar just because of a two year time difference she stormed off leaving Kate to burst into laughter I had to admit seeing Nessie act like that was amusing it was a typical teenage girl response. The entire afternoon and evening I had received visits from Esme, Bella, Carmen, Carlisle, Garrett and Emmett to whom I hugged. I missed Emmett, he had told me he had a surprise for me and that I would never guess and naturally when I started asking he left the room…I realized I was lucky to have so many people that care about me to come and wish me luck, I had one last visitor…Felix when I saw him I instantly felt the nerves wash away. Rushing towards him I hugged him, he came to wish me luck. Brian of course denies this, but one of the biggest reasons why I am with my family today is because of Felix he helped save me. Felix asked Kate and Rosalie if he could have a moment alone with me, I looked to my friends and noticed how hesitant they looked; Kate told me they would be waiting outside if they were needed. I knew they didn’t trust Felix, but there is always hope in the future that would change. Felix told me how amazing I looked in this dress and I thanked him. He told me he had something he needed to tell me, at that moment I was surprised at Felix as his big strong hands were on both side of my arms “Sarah Frost, I am in love with you” he spoke sounding serious I had to admit I was in shock and my jaw opened a little from the shock, I kind of felt angry…why was he doing this, telling me on my wedding day? I asked him and Felix told me that he has been trying to tell me for years, but never found the right place or time “So your saying you found the right place and time on my wedding day” I spoke to him a little outraged. Felix looked into my eyes he was shocked and let go of me, after the shock I could see the pain in his eyes and I realized just how hard this was for him and I finally knew why he chose to help us on that day we left Volterra forever. I couldn’t stop myself and I moved to Felix hugging him tight and stroke the back of his head softly. Felix had wrapped his arms around me hugging me and I pulled back “Felix…thank you for everything you have done for me, but I am sorry my heart…my soul belongs to Brian you know I love you Felix, but my love for you it’s different, I love you like a big brother…that’s how I see you Felix…not as a body guard, but as a big brother…you’re my family” I told him softly, Felix’s expression was hard to see, he looked crushed he tried to hide it with a smile, but it was weak “I understand Sarah. I will leave now. I hope you enjoy your wedding” Felix had taken a step back and walked to the door, I of course stopped him by grabbing his hand “Don’t you dare Felix, you’re my family I want my brother to be here for me” Felix looked at me he smiled “ok then Sarah” I leaned in to kiss Felix’s cheek and thanked him watching him leave moments later I noticed Kate and Rosalie step into the room they both looked shocked and said nothing. Ten minutes later Alice returned and told me in her infamous words “it’s time” I breathed in deeply and breathed out, Kate chuckled at me and I smiled I felt nervous and excited at the same time Rosalie had walked towards me and she hugged me “you can do this just picture Brian and forget about everyone else.” I nodded nervously and smiled for once in my life I didn’t have anything to say the door opened and I walked out of the bedroom with my bridesmaid and as we walked through the house nothing had changed, finally I was home and for the first time everything felt like it was real and not a dream. I couldn’t stop smiling as I breathed in the atmosphere and I heard Alice speak “Hurry up” she was impatient as always, as I looked around my home I didn’t see Rosalie put her hand on Alice shoulders “give her a minute” as I walked to the lounge room and spun around at the empty place I was finally home and I swear if I could cry I would have been bawling my eyes out. Like Alice said it was time….finally it was time I am on my way to become Mrs. Sarah Jacobson Alice came and tucked her arm under my arm and she guided me to the kitchen and to the outside balcony…ah yes I remember the balcony…where I once expressed my morning sickness…yeah what a thing to get lost in with nostalgia huh. Going down the Balcony steps we walked along the private beach and I looked up and saw the stars shining brightly. We were walking along the beach Alice keeping a little distance from the crashing tide while Rosalie and Kate were behind me, I was amazed I could walk along the beach in high heels, but I did it and it was easy. Looking ahead I saw some lanterns ahead in the distance they were outside garden lanterns the kind that was solar powered and changed colors. On both side of the isle of lanterns were chairs and people sitting on them…the Amazons, Egyptian, Irish, and basically everyone who came to help me escape on that day. In the front rows were the Cullen’s and the Denali’s and around the Alter there were a few fire lamps that had a powerful fire going that was illuminating the place, and I could see my son and future husband. As I walked down the aisle I watched the lanterns change color from blue to green to red to yellow it was all really amazing “Alice you should be a wedding planner” I complemented her and she thanked me, but told me from this point on I was on my own and that I was to wait for the signal. Alice, Rosalie and Kate went down the long isle and I smiled as I heard Alice give the signal and I resumed walking towards the Alter, I could see Brian in across from me and I got lost in his beauty, how the hell did I ever get so lucky I wondered for a moment. He was wearing a black tux and a white button up long sleeve shirt and a red tie, but not the coat. Brian had a smile on his face and I saw beside him my son was standing as the best man along with Eleazar and Carlisle and I listened as music began to play on the CD player. Everyone stood and watched me, not that I was paying attention to them. My focus was on Brian I could hear Alice hiss “Slow down Sarah” I did as I was told and walked slower down the aisle with the music still playing, I could hear a whisper from Alice “where is his coat, it’s not perfect without his coat.” Another whisper that had belonged to Eleazar responded “hunting accident” at this point I imagined Alice giving Brian a deathly glare of fury and wrath. As I continued down what felt like a never ending isle, I noticed the lanterns that changed colors was illuminating my dress and I in different colors, it was pretty but the most important thing was the fact I made it to Brian, stepping into a circle of rose petals that surrounded the Alter I looked to my surprise I saw Emmett standing as the officiator “You!” I spoke out in a shocked whisper, Emmett had that big grin on his face “are you surprised” I gave half nod and had to admit I thought my surprise would be something else….never the less it was a surprise “well this should be interesting” I spoke out softly, the best thing about Emmett was his wicked sense of humor Alice moved to turn down the music; it was still playing on a low volume. Listening to the music I realized it was pretty good for a country song, and the lyrics matched us very accurately, I looked at Brian to see his beautiful smile and I smiled too, this was definitely one of the happiest moments in my life. The wedding continued and Emmett spoke, actually being serious which made me wonder if Alice was bribing Emmett. Eventually Brian and I exchanged rings and vow…now don’t be too hard on me the wedding was like sprung on me after all, but I said the following. “Brian Jacobson before I met you I was in a dark place in my life I was in the depths of despair, but you saved me in more ways than one…I promised myself that I would never let my heart be open to another, because I thought all that would await me is pain and suffering, but you made me realize there is more to love than just the pain…you taught me that the bad experiences of love wasn’t even a fragment compared to all the good…and even though I had all this love to give you…something happened and we had to part ways…the years without you…it was dark, bleak and more painful than you could ever understand…I became lost in the darkness and I forgot who I was, but you…you found me Brian and you saved me from the darkness showing me not just who I was, but who I wanted to become you gave me the strength and courage to do things I never thought I could do and It was my love for you that transcended me far beyond what I was meant to be, you have given me so much Brian, all I have to give you is my undying love” Brian seemed so touched by my vow, I held his hand and placed it on my heart “I..I give you my loyalty and my heart…I entrust my heart to you Brian take good care of it” I had watched Brian and don’t recall ever seeing him so moved. Brian moved his hand from my heart to caress my cheek for a moment “Sarah you showed me that one person can make a difference…you gave me a son and sacrificed yourself for us time and time again. You showed me what love meant and you taught me how to love. In return I vow to you Sarah that I will worship the ground you walk on and cherish you and I will spend the rest of eternity making you smile and protecting you and our son for eternity…I promise this to you baby girl” Nothing on earth could have stopped the warmth I felt at that moment I felt so good, and so happy Emmett announced us as man and wife “you may now make out” Emmett announced, I glared at Emmett only to be pulled from his focus when Brian grabbed me and pulled me close into his embrace and kissed me passionately, from then on the world vanished for a moment and I kissed Brian with every fiber of my being. I ignored the cheering and clapping, and even the gust of wind that blew away the rose petals, I listened as Tobias gasped and he “whoa cool” which at this point I wondered what he thought was cool and when I looked up into the sky I could see what Tobias was talking about it was a shower of shooting stars, Brian looked up and I told him “make a wish” Without hesitating Brian answered “why would I make a wish, when I have everything I ever wanted Mrs. Jacobson.” It was the first time Brian called me that….Sarah Jacobson it has a nice ring to it don’t you think. Looking back to my husband I leaned in to kiss Brian and just as our lips were about to touch I felt a tug pulling me away from Brian when I looked to see who was doing it, I could see it was Alice “Woman are you mad, I am trying to kiss my wife here” Brian spoke out, Alice was still pulling me she spoke “yeah yeah Kiss on your honeymoon…come on Sarah, we need to get you out of that dress and something more suitable for the reception.” I looked at Brian and smiled happily. Mouthing the word Later to him and oh yes there would be kissing and much more going on than that, Since Brian saved me we haven’t had sex I wanted to wait until we were married. I just thought I wanted our first time together since the whole Volturi thing to be as man and wife….yeah I know I’m getting sentimental in my old age. Alice and I were in my old bedroom getting undressed and into the new clothing while everyone was outside the house or in the living room hanging out. Alice had this black dress picked out for me it was long and elegant “I liked that song during the ceremony it suited Brian and I so well” I complemented her “actually Brian picked it out.” Alice informed me which actually surprised me. Alice wore a blue dress, that was long and lacey and together we left the room to the party, what surprised me was the fact Edward spoke out “Ladies and gentlemen. Can we have Mr. and Mrs. Jacobson on the floor” Brian had walked across to me and reached out his hand to which I rested it on top of his, he brought my hand to his mouth and kissed it “May I have this dance with you Mrs. Jacobson” he spoke as music began to play “No” I teased playfully, “Too bad” he retorted and pulled me in close to him and I laughed. We were so close together the song playing was very beautiful, but again it was a country song. “did you pick this song too” I asked him and naturally he nodded his head, “good lord I married a country bumpkin” I teased playfully, Brian grabbed my butt and I moved his grip to my lower back “Well Mrs. Jacobson…since I’m a country Bumpkin I guess I’m gonna have to show you the cowgirl position and get you acquainted with the country life” he teased and I snorted a laugh burying my face in his chest. He chuckled and moved one hand to pet the back of my head. After two hours of fun everyone finally started to leave…naturally Alice bolted before the cleanup, but I didn’t mind…ill just get Brian to do it. Tobias is now sleeping over Edwards, while Brian and I spend a week here and then we are going to somewhere else for the rest of the honeymoon, Brian won’t tell me. Diary what can I say. A long time ago I thought the world was full of nothing, but pain and suffering…and that was all life had to offer me, and then I met Brian…my soul mate, he saved me from myself…I ended up returning the favor saving him and our son. Being Lost in Darkness…time and time again, I knew two things for certain…the first Brian was my light, he would always be there to protect me from the sadness and the pain. The second….This is my story and I’m going to make it a good one. ~Sarah Jacobson The End
Dear Readers and Loyal fans, Hello everyone, this is something that’s really hard for me to do and say…hell I can’t even think of the right words to say it in. When I first started writing I started with Sarah Frost and now as I come to the end of her story I find myself overwhelmed with the thought that this story has come to an end. Telling Sarah’s story, it was very fun to do and thrilling along with extremely difficult at times, there were times when I struggled just to get a paragraph down, and then there were times where the words just poured down with me. I feel Sarah’s story has reached the climax…this is the story she deserves to have and she has gained her happy ending that she deserved. So I bet your wondering where does this leave Sarah, Brian and Tobias, what will become of me and Twilight Diaries. Well the truth be told Sarah and Brian has ended, BUT it doesn’t mean they are gone forever it just means that they want some alone time if you get my drift. Now about me, Twilight Diaries is my baby, and it’s thanks to the beautiful, loving and talented Kayla that my baby has survived so long, so thank you sis for keeping my dream alive. I am not quitting Twilight Diaries. I will stay on to continue Rosalie, Tobias and someone else. I will write a Sarah and Brian entry from time to time, so you see their not gone forever. But mostly it’s time for a new chapter in the Jacobson’s Story and that means it’s time for Tobias to step up and become the star. Of course Tobias is not the only Star coming out, someone is coming and she wills turn Twilight Diaries upside down. Her name is Aphrodite Hart. I also wanted to take the time to thank you the readers, thank you for taking the time to read my story and thank you for leaving your comments and Feedbacks. Your words of encouragement has touched me and inspired me in more ways than you could possibly know, so thank you, I am actually keen on knowing your thoughts on the wedding so please post on the Twilight Diaries Facebook page and let me know what you think. Again thank you all and I will see you all soon. ~Martin
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Topic: It’s amazing how twisted the length of time is to me, in some ways this day felt like an eternity, in other ways it felt like it has gone by too fast…the one thing I can say for certain is it is a day I will never forget. Date: June 26th 2019 Dear Diary For now I am using Brian’s laptop to record my life and the moments I will someday wish to reflect on Brian offered me his laptop in case I felt like I needed to express myself privately and being the honorable man that he is he vowed he would not intrude on my entries. Of course I believe him, Brian wasn’t like me he doesn’t have a cruel or deceptive bone in his handsome body. After my last mental entry I had spent some time with Brian, believe it or not we did in silence. We sat together until 10pm outside the cabins Brian kissed my neck and whispered into my ear “Finally alone” I wondered what he meant by that did he want to have sex which was something I was nowhere near up to, he surprised me by holding my hand and snuggling close to me where I rested my head on his shoulders, Brian had climbed on top of my legs he leaned in to kiss me on the lips passionately, I could feel love with each passing second and it felt good. I could see with reluctance Brian had pulled back his lips inches from mine as he leaned his forehead touching mine “I hate to do this Sarah, but this is something that cannot wait. I have something important I have to do…will you be ok with The Cullen’s and Denali’s for the day.” We were so close I could see Brian’s beautiful smile and I must have pouted because he apologized “will you be back tonight” I asked him softly and he whispered a yes. It was difficult, but I told him I would be ok, he leaned back into me and kissed me passionately it was incredible the sensation was like this vibrant experience where everything was just so lively and colorful. It had been so long since I truly felt this happy. I could have gotten lost in the moment…the passion if Brian hadn’t pulled back and whispered softly “I would love to stay baby girl, but if I am going to be back by tonight I should leave now” I pouted for a moment and knew Brian must have been feeling bad about leaving, so I forced myself to smile…it must have been feeble because Brian looked sad “will you hurry up and go already you big ape, I want to watch our son” Brian had this arrogant and cocky smile on his face and he banged his hands on his chest “ME BRIAN ME APE OO OOO AAA AAA” he spoke making monkey sounds, he was trying to cheer me up and succeeding at it too. It was surprising to hear myself giggle with laughter as I put my hand on his chest softly and gently try to push him away Brian fell backwards and grabbed my wrist making me fall on top of him. My body on top of his, we looked into each other’s eyes. I could see such beauty within Brian’s eyes I could feel his muscular chest under me and I allowed myself to rest on his chest hugging him. Brian’s skin was so soft and warm and his scent it was so good, ever since I had regained my memory I had missed Brian and everything to do with him. I find it so hard to believe that Brian saved me from the Volturi with his friends…there are moments when I have this doubt and I wonder if Brian really did save me or if I was still in the dungeon and this was all a day dream. When I have those thoughts I would get so scared and I felt this pain inside me…a sadness and emptiness it’s so overwhelming and I feel as if I am being sucked into this realm of darkness…I don’t want to be there oh god I don’t want to be there…it’s scary and it hurts. “oh what the hell five more minutes won’t hurt” He whispered and wrapped his arms around mine. “I love you Brian…oh god how I love you.” Brian moved his hands from around me to rest it behind his head using his hands as a pillow for his head “yup I have that effect on the women they all love me” I sat up on his chest and glared at him while he had on that cocky and arrogant smile. Brian’s smile…I describe it as cocky and arrogant, it’s difficult to explain otherwise I mean if you just saw it for yourself you could see arrogance and cockiness in it, but if you look closer you would see love and gentleness in his smile. I could see it whenever he smiles, but I just fixate on his cockiness because it’s so darn adorable. As I continued to watch Brian’s smile I made a fist and punched his shoulder lightly and looked away “come on baby I got passion in my pants and I ain’t afraid to show it.” I gasped in disbelief as he said that and damn it I couldn’t stop myself from smiling. It wasn’t a happy smile it was an “oh my god I can’t believe he just said that” smile. If I was still a human my face would have been a scarlet red. “D…did you just quote LMFAO sexy and I know it” I asked him. the song was pretty old it came out in 2011 Brian looked away this time embarrassed and I smiled leaning close to him with my hand I touched his chin and forced him to look at me. “I don’t want anyone else when I think about you I touch myself” I recited to him from the song I touch myself it was sung by an Australian Rock band The Divinyls. Watching the bizarre and beautiful eyes of his I wanted to lean in and kiss him when he spoke “no need for you to touch yourself baby girl that’s what I’m here for” I broke into a fit of hysterical giggles and leaned down burying my face in his chest only to feel him move his hands from under his head to wrap themselves around me. Being in Brian’s arms it was nice…warm and safe, like nothing could ever harm me. I could spend the rest of my eternity in Brian’s arms, and I knew I would…I believed that I would. Reluctantly I broke out of Brian’s grip and picked myself up he looked at me surprised “you have some place to be… remember?” Brian frowned and sat up “yeah I guess your right baby girl” He picked himself up and moved close towards me and hugged me again “I’ll be back soon” he looked down at me as he spoke and I looked up to him “you better be” I whispered softly before moving in to kiss his lips. The kiss lasted only moments and then Brian let go and he left, I stood on the spot and watched him leave in his car, I stood alone and he was gone, but I knew it wouldn’t be for long it was a few minutes later that I noticed Alice stepped outside and put her arm around my waist and stood at my side it’s funny I had forgotten about the Cullen’s and Denali’s being inside the cabin along with my sleeping son, but that is how it is for me…When I am with Brian the rest of the world fades away all the pain and the sadness it is taken from me and replaced with heaven. “You’re Alice right?” I asked, double checking that I’m not mixing up names. Alice nodded her head “that’s right Sarah.” As I unleashed a soft sigh of relief I heard Alice speak “Don’t worry…Brian’s perfectly fine nothing bad is going to happen to him.” Hearing Alice speak, I tried to think back on what Brian told me about the Cullen’s…Alice was the prophetess and Edward was the mind reader while Bella was a shield and Jasper an empath. If Alice said Brian would be fine, I believed her the only thing I couldn’t stop wandering about is where the hell Brian is going and what is he doing? Alice and I walked inside the cabin and to my surprise I found the Cullen’s and The Denali’s waiting for us. Everyone one was here except for the kids and Felix “where is Felix?” I asked no one in particular, the one known as Carlisle stepped forward “He felt it was best that he left and find someplace where he belongs.” Listening to this I was shocked, how they could let him leave didn’t they understand what Felix had given up to help us escape…he had turned his back on the only home he ever knew and made enemy of the Volturi for them. Of course Edward had heard my thoughts and in that soft voice of his “He chose to leave Sarah; there was nothing we could do to stop him.” Looking away I felt hurt that Felix left without saying goodbye. He knew I would I probably would have tried to stop him…I secretly decided next time I see him….I am going to kick his ass. I turned my back on the Cullen’s and Denali’s and headed towards Tobias’s room I wanted to watch him sleep. When Carlisle spoke again “we need to know about the Volturi and the poison.” His voice had an urgency to it and I sighed softly and turned my head to look over my shoulder I could see Carlisle’s expression of concern “There is only three things I know about the poison…the first is it it’s fast acting…the second thing is it the longer that poison is inside you the weaker you become…it saps your strength to the point you are too weak to move on your own...from there the Volturi will either kill you or let you be driven insane by your own thirst….third of all the only cure for it is vampire venom…you must drink the venom of another vampire to burn away the poison because your own venom is not enough…the longer the poison is inside you the longer it takes you to regain your strength” I spoke looking straight again, the truth was I still felt weak, I knew I probably should have asked Brian for another bite before he left, but it didn’t come to mind beside I was having fun I didn’t want to ruin the moment with something as unpleasant as asking to take my lover’s venom. I had no idea when I would be back to full strength, but hopefully it would be soon. I began to walk away when Tanya walked up to me from behind and touched my right shoulder and she told me “we aren’t done with you Sarah” My body acted of its own accord. With my left hand I placed my hand over my right shoulder grabbing her hand and ducked under it Tanya’s arm and flipped her onto the ground her landing made a thud and I placed my foot on her neck applying pressure, I could hear a gasp, but I didn’t know who it was from, I was sort of in this daze, because I was just looking into Tanya’s eyes while she had her hands under my foot trying to push me off her. I snapped out of my shock when I heard his words “mom what are you doing to Aunt Tanya” I looked up and saw Tobias rubbing his eyes as he stood at the doorway “Nothing darling I was just showing her my lovely shoes...Isn’t that right Tanya” I unnecessarily applied more pressure on her neck and she spoke “Yeah their fabulous, I can’t wait to show you mine” she spoke sounding rather snarky. I looked from Tanya back to my son “there you have it right from the cat’s mouth now why don’t you go off to bed darling and I’ll see you in the morning” Tobias let off a low grumble, where I heard him mumble “Women and their shoes” the tone in his voice made me smile it reminded me of Brian when he used to complain. My beautiful son closed the door behind him and went back to bed allowing me to return to the tense situation of the Cullen’s, The Denali’s and Tanya being on the floor removing my foot from her neck I placed my hand out as if to offer her some help getting up “I am sorry about that Tanya….I think it would be best for you and others too not to sneak up on me….I don’t mean it as a threat it’s just I can’t always contain myself from reacting in a defensive action” I spoke looking to the group of vampires, they watched me in silence and I felt awkward “if you really mean you’re apology why didn’t you remove your foot as soon as it happened” she spoke harshly, looking at Tanya I really did feel bad about it “because I did not want my son to think I am insane” I responded and Tanya scoffed spitting out “it’s too late for that you’re as nutty as a peanut” You know now that I thought about it the way Tanya had her hair done back exposing her face she looked like a lizard woman. “It appears you kissing the floor once tonight was not enough, would you like an encore” I asked with fake innocence. My emotions were boiling, as I watched Tanya, she seemed just as pissed as I was, if not more, but then again I wasn’t the one who got my ass kicked unlike the queen of reptiles. It was rather sudden, but my emotions seemed to have calmed themselves down letting off a soft sigh I looked towards Tanya for a moment longer “Look…I’m sorry ok, it’s nothing personal just don’t sneak up on me” Carlisle told me he understood that it was ok, but Carlisle could not understand it…I have gone through a lot of crap and Felix trained me how to fight and keep my guard up, he taught me that if someone tries to sneak up on me act don’t react. Without anything else I left them all and went into Tobias bedroom silently and closing the door beside him, I watched my son lay on his bed and he opened his eyes “mom” he spoke out his voice was in a whisper, “it’s ok it’s just me go to sleep already.” I spoke back, Tobias invited me to sit on his bed with him until he fell asleep and so I sat on his bed, my back leaned against the wall as he slept close to me, I couldn’t stop myself from stroking his hair softly and watching him sleep. I was still getting used to this….seeing my son as a young boy…well a boy in a teenager’s body. He was mature and intelligent, but to me he was still a child…my child. I watched my son sleep, he was so peaceful, watching my baby sleep I was so fascinated with everything about him, the way he slept the way he spoke heck even the way he ate, From what I could see he was a miniature clone of Brian, he wasn’t as tall as his father or muscular, but in behavior you could swear their identical at least from what I have seen so far. I watched him till morning and eventually left the room, It was awkward to be around the Cullen’s and Denali’s after the whole Tanya incident honestly I didn’t aim to take her out, it just happened. Letting out a sigh I went to the beach and sat down at the beach, for a human I imagined it must have been very cold, due to the winds and the cold air being a vampire I was never cold anymore, and I was never hot either It’s difficult to describe the temperature it’s not hot or cold for me it’s not even warm, that’s just the way it is. I liked being in front of the ocean, being outside it was nice when you spend a great deal of time locked away in a dark dungeon with stale air, you tend to appreciate the fresh air, the light and the beauty of the scenery most of all you appreciate the freedom. I sat there on the beach completely at peace, I didn’t mind being alone much…of course I’d rather Brian be here with me, but he had something to do and it had to be something important because he would never leave unless it was necessary. Looking down at my hands I noticed the ring Marcus had put on my finger when we got married, picking myself up, I removed the ring and held it close to my heart. I remembered that day all too well…it’s something I would rather forget…I wish I could forget the last ten years…of my life. The memories and the pain….the deception, but the strange thing is if I had to do it all again…I would do it in a heartbeat…as a mother it’s my duty to sacrifice myself for my son, it’s not a duty I did out of expectation it is one out of love. Opening my fist I looked at the ring one last time and smiled before throwing it into the ocean, at that moment it felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I heard Tobias call out to me, I turned my back to the ocean and felt a breeze of fresh air blow against me as I saw my son, and Alice and Emmett were at both side of him along with Rosalie who stood beside Emmett. Before I could move to my son he came running towards me and asked what I was up to, I noticed my son was wearing track suit pants and a T-shirt “Admiring how beautiful the beach is this morning….shouldn’t you be wearing a jumper or a jacket.” Tobias frowned “Go on, go put on a jumper and a jacket” I told him, Alice had joined in “or else we go shopping” Tobias scowled “Ok ok I’m going…you know I think you should start attending SA” my son had me confused when Emmett joined in “Shopaholic anonymous” Tobias nodded his head and Emmett chuckled “ok snark about your Aunt’s shopping addiction later go get dressed and have breakfast.” I told him with a smile, reluctantly he left and then it was just the four of us “Listen Sarah…don’t feel bad about what happened inside…Edward explained to everyone about the situation about your…upbringing” Rosalie spoke, I had noticed her speech patterns were different from everyone else’s. She sounded sophisticated and elegant. “Edward…he was in my head again huh” I asked and Alice nodded her head “it’s not something he can help although he tries his best not to listen to our thoughts.” Emmett told me. Alice came at me and hugged me “Anyway we have plans for today, look the dress you have is pretty but you have worn that thing like for too long” she spoke with mock horror in her voice. Tobias was right, Alice indeed was a shopaholic, after Tobias had breakfast Rosalie, Alice, Emmett, Tobias and I went shopping in town. Tobias seemed to loath shopping, although he was mostly focused on being with me we were about to walk into the ladies underwear section when Emmett placed his hand on Tobias shoulder “this be no man’s land” I stopped and tilted my head at Emmett amused and confused, to which Tobias shared the confusion and Emmett continued “Tobias the only time its ok to see this stuff and to touch this stuff is when you’re taking it off your woman.” My jaw dropped in shock for a moment as I scowled at Emmett and Rosalie giggled for a moment “Emmett… how about you take Tobias to the book shop.” Tobias nodded and looked at me for approval “Yeah alright, but only because I don’t want you turning out to be some pervert that has a fetish for women’s underwear.” Tobias tilted his head to the side for a moment “uh….ok” he spoke in confusion he turned from me and I quickly spoke “Tobias do me a favor, if you find Anne of green gables the novel will you get it and I’ll get your father to pay the Cullen’s back later.” I spoke out, he said sure and left with Emmett “you know Rosalie…Emmett reminds me of Brian.” Rosalie agreed and you know today was a fun day, we went shopping I bought a stack of clothing and then we watched Tobias have lunch and we returned home, As soon as we did I got dressed into jeans and a nice pink top with a broach pinning it in place I spent the entire time with Tobias with the Cabin we were listening to the radio and it came to one of the best songs of all time. Whitney Houston’s I just want to dance with somebody. Hearing the song I stood up and grabbed Tobias hand and pulled him off the couch, kicking the couch to the wall I held his hand and started to dance holding my son, at first he was shy and too embarrassed to join in and eventually he joined in, I sang some of the Lyrics of the song and unleashed my gift, to inspire and supercharge abilities. Tobias smiled as he danced and I smiled as I sang along and danced with my boy. I didn’t care that everyone was watching, this was a damn good song one of my favorites from Whitney Houston. What surprised me was Brian’s voice “Sorry boy, but I’m gonna have to steal your date” I turned around and saw it was Brian he was back and I let go of Tobias hand and hugged Brian, and wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him and pulled back, I looked at Tobias and he smiled and stepped back, For a while it was Brian and I dancing to Whitney Houston and I resumed singing along with the song, after all how could you not sing along side Whitney Houston especially this song…and although I never knew her….I miss her, but you know listening to her music it feels like she is still alive you know like she lives on in her music. When the song ended and Brian wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed me passionately and I kissed him back with all my heart, and hugged him back tightly. Afterwards Brian let go “you look hot, woman.” I smiled and rested my head on his chest for a moment and looked up to see that smile of his. I playfully punched his shoulder “you’re a violent little vixen aren’t you” he spoke playfully; I shrugged and spoke casually “I am not violent, I am just peacefully challenged.” Brian snorted a laugh, the rest of the day went by fast and Tobias of course had to go to bed at 8:30 which I felt was weak, come on 8:30 seriously Lame. Brian and I walked along the beach it was windy and all the stars were out tonight, the waves crashing along the sand making that beautiful crashing sound and the scent of the ocean and of Brian it was insane…everything was perfect, Brian and I were debating on Tobias’s bedtime he was for keeping it at 8:30 and I was for 9:30, and then Brian pulled a 180 on me I grabbed his hand to hold and he suddenly fell on one knee with his free hand he pulled out a black box and opened it to show a beautiful diamond ring with a heart shape diamond in the center and diamonds around it. “I want to be your man Sarah.” It was all sudden and surprising, and I realized what Brian had meant “What I mean to say Sarah…From the moment I saw you I loved you and I want spend the rest of eternity with you…Marry me.” I was shocked of course I wanted to say yes….hell I wanted to scream it from the roof top, but how could I when I was already married to Marcus….on the other hand he and his brother did try to have me executed…could I count that as a divorce I wondered. “Yes Brian, a thousand times yes” the words escaped my lips, I could hear the emotion in my voice and Brian instantly slipped the ring on my finger and got up, he grabbed me around the waist and he lifted me up and swung me around I smiled and felt as joyous as he did as he lowered me and kissed me on the lips passionately. So I learned the reason why Brian had to go today was because he wanted to go to a decent jeweler. Brian should have known jewelry didn’t matter to me, but then I know my Brian all he wants to do is give me the best of the best…he does that just by being with me and you know it occurs to me that Alice may have known about this which is why she wanted to go shopping…hmm I think I am going to go and interrogate that savage pixie. Ok Diary I just wanted to tell you about this amazing day. ~Sarah
Topic: It’s frightening, any moment I expect my fantasy to shatter…it’s Satan in a Sunday hat, but still I can hope that nothing will stop this.
Date: June 25th, 2019 Dear Diary I am at a loss of words…it’s difficult to imagine that I will never see the Volturi again because my soul mate Brian Jacobson has saved me from execution….from death and oblivion. We had left Volterra victorious; Aro had given his word that he would leave us be in peace. I had spent the entire trip sitting on Brian’s lap my head rested on his chest as he held me in his arms; his venom was burning me alive with his venom slowly neutralizing he poison inside me, I would have to feed off him again soon just to get more of the venom. Brian had spoke about the Cullen’s telling me all about them and of course Rosalie helped him giving her perspective of the events on how Bella met Edward and how the Volturi almost killed them all…the Volturi, they were meant to be law enforces, but in truth they’re death personified…they kill and destroy. I had listened to the story without speaking or interrupting, I was too tired to say anything, of course I wasn’t tired of living anymore…I no longer wanted death, I was just tired of the fighting I think…ever since I got pregnant life had been one big battle field, and I was fighting not just for my future, but Brian’s and Tobias…I valued their lives more than my own. I had closed my eyes and hid my face in Brian’s chest, I could hear him chuckle “I don’t remember you being this shy babygirl” he spoke as he stroked my hair, his touch it was soft and gentle and so exhilarating if my heart was still beating it would have stopped now, I felt this warmth inside me, it was the warmth only Brian brought out in me and I gasped in “Someone’s getting turned on by my sexyness” he spoke, if I was human I would have been blushing scarlet, He held me tight in his arms as I said nothing “hey you ok Sarah” he asked his voice was serious and it sounded slightly panicked I opened my eyes and looked at him “Just a little tired…im ok girl guide’s honor” Brian scoffed “Yeah right as if you were a girl guide” he retorted and I poked my tongue at him and smiled, for the first time I noticed there was something different about Brian’s eyes they were no longer Crimson, his eyes were different it they were golden. I wanted to ask him about it, but decided not to when I saw the look of worry in his eyes I knew he was worried about the poison in me, its strange that after all these years apart we are in sync with each other immediately we acted as one “It’s ok Brian…the venom will take out the poison…I think another two or three times and ill be fine…it will just take me some time to regain my strength.” I spoke softly watching those eyes of his. Brian nodded “Ok baby girl…when you feel you need let me know…I love it when you give me Looove Bites” he spoke emphasizing on love, I scowled at Brian he was such an arrogant punk….god I loved him for it, “hey you look like Tobias when you do that…in a flash Rosalie leaned in from beside Brian to look at me making me feel like some sort of science experiment “you know I think you’re right, she does look like Tobias, at first I thought he looked like you, but he definitely has Sarah’s scowl” she spoke, I thought back to the past remembering Tobias scowl from what I remembered Tobias scowling reminded me of Brian’s and now Brian and this Rosalie woman had told me that I looked like Tobias. I instantly felt jealous of Rosalie, not only was she a gorgeous woman, but she had seen my son and probably knew him better than me. I had looked from her and back to Brian “Tell me about him” I spoke softly, Brian had opened his mouth when Rosalie had started “Well Tobias is…” She was cut off by Emmett who was still driving “Uh babe I think she was asking Brian.” He spoke sounding amused, looking back at Rosalie I saw her look down disappointed “oh” she uttered softly and I looked back at Brian waiting eagerly. Brian had stroked my hair softly “Tobias is a good kid, he is quiet and gentle he has this is very curious by nature he just wants to understand everything he is a bit like you in some ways. He is precocious to the point it dumbfounds me that someone so young could be so smart. Tobias is sort of a nerd, he loves to read and learn new things…you wait and see babe you will love him babe and not just because he is our son.” Hearing Brian talk about our son I could hear the warmth in his voice and the love, the love was endless and just so bizarre I wasn’t used to hearing him speak like a farther…and I realized while my Brian was there, there was a whole other side to him. The trip was long, but eventually we had arrived to a small place called Ocean Shore, Washington the place was small, Brian told me that after he escaped with Kate and Garret they picked this place because it was so small and no one in either covens had come to this place before so it would be a perfect hiding spot. I didn’t really hear Brian speak about the rest…about leaving Tobias and Reneesme in the care of shapeshifters…all I was fixated on, was Tobias…he was here I was so close to seeing him again. It was already sunset when we arrived to Ocean Shore the door opened and I felt fresh air hit us I climbed out of Brian’s lap and stood up, my own weight felt overwhelming, but I managed…this poison sucks on major proportions, but I will survive it. Felix came to me to see if I was doing ok, Brian had shoved Felix away from me “Stay away from her you Volturi bastard…why did you even come with us, shouldn’t you be kissing Aro’s ass” I felt pretty anxious and scared I knew I should just step in and stop both of them, but I just felt so tired. I had found myself blindsided and felt someone’s arm entwined around mine I expected it to be Rosalie, but instead it was the short pixie one….Alice she smiled “how about we forget this macho mess and go to the beach” before I could say anything Alice had dragged me off and I managed to keep up. Behind me Kate, Bella and Rosalie joined us, “Don’t worry about Brian and Felix their just having their own little turf war” Kate spoke and I frowned, “How are you feeling Sarah” Bella had asked me, I looked at Bella from everything Brian told me with her troubles she encountered with the Volturi I sort of felt a kinship towards her, but at the same time I could feel a major difference between us, it’s hard to put my finger on the difference I guess the way she is like the sun, she is light and I am like the moon…I am darkness…don’t get me wrong I am not evil. Its just that’s how I am. I wonder if Bella could see the difference in us well obviously she could because no people are alike especially Bella and I. I watched Bella’s liquid gold eyes, the same as Brian’s “I…I just want to find some place quiet.” I mumbled not answering her question directly, it was awkward until the small one moved closer to me “This is so exciting” Alice spoke out her voice was musical “Yeah…I finally get to see my son” I spoke quietly, it wasn’t because I wasn’t excited I was, but I was pretty much too tired “Oh…yeah that too” Alice spoke, the short Cullen had my curiosity “wait. Why are you excited” I asked her with my voice probably sounded questioning, not that I was paying attention. Bella and Rosalie answered in unison “shopping” I frowned and listened as Kate laughed, Alice had put one hand on her hip “what…well she is going to need some clothing I mean it’s not like she packed a bag to take with her.” Of course Alice had made a valid point I didn’t have any clothing here except what I was wearing now. I didn’t want to go shopping at least not at this moment, I just wanted to find Tobias and hug him and kiss him and tell him how much I loved him. “how about we go hunting” Alice suggested I nodded hunting sounded like a great distraction and I was really thirsty “that sounds good, I wouldn’t mind ripping open some throats” the three women just looked at me oddly, which gave me a flashback to high school it made me feel like the odd woman out “uh Sarah…we are vegetarians...we only feed on animals” Bella spoke softly, I blinked twice looking at them “you’re joking right” I asked and looked at them, the three females were quiet and I put the palm of my hand to my head I couldn’t help but think…Jesus Christ vegetarian vampires…you got to be kidding me...after that initial thought I couldn’t help, but get reminded of an old British Animated tv show I watched when I was younger it was called Count Duckula it was about a vegetarian vampire duck…yeah I know what you’re thinking and yeah I thought it was a shit show too. “fine…lets go hunt us some bambi…because after all why rid the streets of thugs when we can go orphan some baby deer’s” I complained, “I think you mean Fawns” Bella corrected me “Whatever” I retorted, seriously hunting animals….feeding off them I did not like it, why oh why couldn’t I think of a bullshit reason like the Jehovah witnesses and say feeding off of animals goes against my religious beliefs, just like it goes against my religious beliefs to vote…I honestly couldn’t believe this the four of us walked deep into the forest going to feed on some poor defenseless creature…we went through the forest walking the entire time Alice stayed by my side, my throat was burning agony we stopped when a deer came into view…it’s typical I knew it, it had to be a deer. I knew even in my weakened condition I could catch the peaceful creature, and it was thanks to Brian’s venom…before his venom the poison left me feeble and weaker than a human being…I am pretty sure I can get this deer. I began to run towards the deer, the beautiful creature had seen me and began to frolic away, I was ashamed to say I struggled, I ran after the creature as fast as I could, but I was sloppy I stumbled over and picked myself up, I ran and the scenery barely became a blur to me, how pathetic I couldn’t even catch a frolicking deer. I had fallen on my knees gasping “Damn it” I muttered. It was a second later Felix had appeared in front of me he had fallen from above like he was running on tree branches and jumped off to land in front of me, he was on one knee in front of me and had one hand on my shoulder “Sarah…are you ok” his voice was full of concern I had nodded my head “I am fine…where is Brian.” I asked him worried….Felix wouldn’t hurt Brian right….I mean Felix knows how much Brian meant to me, I could see a look of pain in Felix's eyes “He is going to find Tobias…prepare him for your meeting…I came to aid you in whatever you need assistance in.” I smiled at Felix as Bella and Alice approached “find me someone to feed off of please” Felix nodded as he helped me to my feet “I am no Heidi, but I will be back shortly Sarah” Felix was about to run off when Alice yelled stop and Felix did he didn’t even move “ If you hunted someone here you would bring to much attention to us after all Ocean Shores is a small town it’s population is only five thousand five hundred and sixty nine people. A death would bring up unwanted attention…besides Sarah the deer is closer, if you go after it, the sooner you can see Tobias” Alice had given her opinion personally I didn’t care about unwanted attention I was thirsty, but using my son…that was a low blow, I am starting to think this pixie is a little underhanded. “Fine get me the damn deer” I folded my arms. Felix had bolted off in a blur, and Bella had looked at me “Animals aren’t that bad really.” Bella had tried to reassure me, I felt bad for the fact an animal was about to die because of me. “you stick to you’re beliefs and I’ll stick to mine” I had spoken which surprised Bella “it’s wrong to kill people” I scoffed at Bella as my black eyes looked into her topaz liquid gold eyes “Humans aren’t exactly innocent creatures, they lie, they pollute the world and destroy the environment because of their own arrogance and the fact they value their own lives more than others…they kill for greed for lust, for sport…hell they kill for no reason at all…compare that to the deer over there, or any animal in general…they don’t set out to maliciously harm someone for no reason, they only hunt to survive.” I debated passionately and Bella seemed surprised at what I said as Felix returned with the dead deer “you value the lives of animals more than people” I don’t get why her voice sounded so surprised “Damn right I do” I retorted we looked at each other and the difference between us was huge. She probably believed in redemption that people could repent, but repentance bullshit…a murderer will always be a murderer, a thief will always be a thief, there is no magic time machines that can go back to the past and erase the sins we commit. The past is set in stone and it cannot be changed, it will always be there. I looked at the dead deer, Felix had held him out to me and I sighed taking the dead deer I felt it’s soft coat, it was still warm, I petted the dead deer and felt so guilty the fact this poor creature was dead, was because of me. I reluctantly sank my teeth into the dead deer and started drinking its blood, I felt the blood touch my tongue and wash down my throat, it was soothing to my throat, the blood tasted horrible though. I finished with the deer and panted “that tasted like crap” I mumbled, I had picked myself up feeling a little better and miraculously I hadn’t spilled a drop of blood on me, but then again it’s not really a miracle its more of a skill vampires soon gain…I am just that much of a proficient killer. I left Felix to deal with the remains of the deer and Alice helped me to the edge of the forest where the forest ended and the beach was across the road. The sun was almost set over the sea, the sky was dark, but mixed in with an orange kind of sky, it was beautiful in the distance I could see a beautiful teenage boy in the distance, his skin was a sort of like olive and Brown, he was beautiful he was standing there looking at the ocean, and I had one of those moments that if my heart was actually beating it would stop. I was so preoccupied I didn’t hear Brian come up from behind me. “Yes Sarah…it’s him” he spoke as if he was reading my mind. It was my son…he was so big, I stumbled back in shock and Brian had his arms around me, “I can’t do this…I have to leave.” I whispered in shock, I just couldn’t do it, how could I come into his life now…I thought I could make it up to him, sure I had missed out on a lot, and I thought at least I could see the rest…but looking at Tobias, I couldn’t explain it…he didn’t need me. Brian had his hands on my shoulders “what…no Sarah you can’t run…” he told me softly “you don’t understand…what if he hates me Brian, he should hate me…I am a terrible person… Brian…I am horrible, and I am a horrible mother…go tell him that you were playing some sick joke or something, I don’t know.” I spoke out upset; I wanted to cry so badly, Brian had shushed me “You and Tobias are a lot more alike than you think…I told him everything while you were hunting…the first thing he wanted to do was run, he was afraid that you would hate him.” I looked at Brian in shock I could never hate Tobias, even though I wasn’t a part of his life…I loved him so much it hurt. “I could never hate him” I whispered, I looked at Brian’s beautiful smile; god I hoped Tobias had that smile. “Well go and tell him that baby girl…our son is waiting for you” I kept my gaze on Brian “aren’t you coming with me” I asked him almost pleading he shook his head “as much as I want to baby girl…this is something you got to do on your own. I will stay here with Alice and the girls if you need me.” he spoke lowering his hands he pinched my butt and I scowled at him “oh yeah you will both defiantly get on like a house on fire.” I stomped on Brains foot hard and heard him cuss as I walked from him. I had crossed the street and my feet touched the sand, it felt nice having the squishy sand under my feet, the breeze was nice too. I had made it a few feet from Tobias and stopped as he turned around to look at me, I didn’t know what to say we just looked at each other in silence for what felt like a full five minutes. I had no idea what to say to him, its not like I could say hey son sorry I been absent most of your life, I sacrificed myself so you and your father could live a normal life…oh what’s you’re favorite color. I bit my bottom lip and I wondered what was going on in my son’s head “Will one of you say something already god damn it” Brian yelled out in the distance I turned my head to see Brian was still standing at where I left him and he was shaking his fist in the air, I scowled at him and saw Alice was laughing beside him “they really are the same” she spoke, I turned away from Brian to face my son and saw he was scowling at his father. I decided to give it a shot “uh sorry about you’re father…I have forgotten how troublesome he could be sometimes.” I spoke nervously “yeah you’re preaching to the choir mom.” He spoke back his voice was shaking with nerves, but I wasn’t paying attention to that at the moment. Tobias had called me mom….Mom, I had never heard such a beautiful word. I smiled at my son and he smiled back nervously “well there is ways to make him behave” I spoke softly, he looked at me curiously “how” he asked I loved how his voice sounded so curious so innocent, “easy all we need is a packet of fart bombs…we can stuff it in his car air condition before the bomb expands and blows up…that way whenever he turns on the air condition it will smell like something crawled into the car and died.” I looked at his expression “wait What…oh Hell no.” I heard Brian yell off in the distance. Tobias smiled and thank the heavens he had Brian’s smile “that is genius mom” he spoke softly he moved closer and I smiled it looked like I was winning his trust, “I haven’t even begun to pass on my knowledge and wisdom with you yet.” I told him my voice was barely louder than a whisper, damn my nerves. Tobias walked towards me and wrapped his arms around me, I gasped silently his skin was so soft and smooth, and warm, he was pale, but not like Brian or myself. I wrapped my arms around him “I always wanted to know you mom” he spoke “I always wanted to know you more Tobias” I spoke and wrapped my arms around him, I never wanted this moment to end, because to have my son’s arms around me. I could feel the eyes of Brian, Felix and the girls watching me and I pulled back from my son’s hug “how about we for a little walk along the beach…” We had walked away out of prying eyes and spoken, I didn’t tell Tobias much, I kept it to the truth as much as possible, telling him I had to leave for his own safety, to my surprise Brian had told Tobias about the Volturi just claiming they were evil collectors who collected special vampires with abilities, Tobias had made me promise never to leave him again and I promised him that I would always be with him. Eventually Tobias had to go to bed as it was 9pm and past his bed time, I had to argue with that I told Brian 8:30 pm is a bullshit bed time and let him stay up a little longer, to my surprise he disagreed and told Tobias to go to bed. I had stayed with my son answering as many questions as I could until he fell asleep. Tobias had asked me things like, what sort of music did I like and books. I answered my son and hugged kissed his forehead after he fell asleep and made sure he was an adorable boy…Brian did such a wonderful job with him, I honestly can’t wait for Tobias to wake up. ~Sarah Topic: One last time…one more time, will I put it all on the line.
Date:??? Dear Diary It feels like forever since I have last seen sunlight and experienced it’s beauty…even though I am more of a rainy day girl…I miss the light, the scent of the air where now I am forced to breathe and smell dank and stale air. I miss the way the wind would blow life into me, and I missed the flames of passion. I miss the rainy weather the way its cold drops would fall on me, the way the rainy sky blocked out the sun…the way it reminded me there was beauty in everything. I had missed the grass running barefoot on the sand and grass I missed being with him….I had forbidden myself to even say his name and if possible, to even think of him…ever since I got my memory back that was impossible even when I was in one of those whacked out day dreams I thought of him…I saw him, I touched him and I kissed him and I never let him go. We would spend eternity in each other’s embrace where my skin would shiver with anticipation and excitement, and there would be this excitement in my heart this beautiful and loving excitement. As I sat feebly in the corner filthy and covered in dirt, I moved my pale hands over my heart at this moment I felt that feeling of love and anticipation just from thinking about him, I had missed him badly and I ached without him…I sometimes wonder was it so bad to have amnesia…I didn’t know Brian, I didn’t have that aching feeling to be in his arms for eternity…I didn’t have that curious feeling inside me wondering what my son was like and who he took after....what his voice sounded like. I wondered what his favorite color was, what his favorite book was and movie…his favorite animal and musician…please tell me its not Justin Beiber….no the Brian I remember may have been an overgrown child, but he isn’t incompetent I believe he is truly a wonderful parent, there is no way he would allow that to happen. I breathed the stale air in softly if I could have Brian and Tobias in my arms for one minute….just one minute I would die a happy woman. Keeping my hand over my heart I heard a chuckle and looked up to see no one, “who’s there” I asked quietly looking around, I couldn’t see anyone all I saw was darkness and the walls “you’re the second person to ask me my name today, I must say I do feel loved…I have many names Sarah, how about you call me Vlad anyway enough about me…how do you feel” he asked, it was honestly a stupid question if I could see this idiot and even had the strength to move I would strangle him. “I feel like shit” I answered quietly, “You look like shit too” he responded amused “well fuck you very much” I retorted dryly. The laughter echoed around he room “you’re feisty… I like feisty woman” he sounded so amused, I rolled my eyes “so Vlad…tell me are you real or not” “do you often question you’re sanity?” he answered me with a question “Do you always answer a question with a question” I retorted “do you” he responded right after me, ok I found that highly annoying and as if this mysterious Vlad read my mind he spoke in a soft voice like silk “You’re annoyed…well Sarah I can’t blame you, this isn’t exactly Romania” he spoke to me, I chose not to say anything at all, I didn’t have the strength to keep arguing with a figment of my imagination. For a full five minutes there was silence “I am serious now Sarah…how are you” the voice spoke this time there was concern in the voice. I was surprised. “I am thirsty…so very thirsty it feels like the sun is in my throat burning me over and over…I feel weak and I hurt…it’s agony, but what’s worse than all of this…I miss my soul mate…I miss my son.” Thinking of those two its more than agony, I was so close to him…and then after years of being apart we were separated…did I honestly think I could run away with him to spend eternity with just him and my son…I am such a fool and as soon as those thoughts echoed my head, the voice had spoken out “it’s never foolish to want to be with the ones you love Sarah…it’s difficult now, but if you have faith maybe…just maybe things will work out for the best” the words were sincere, but to be honest as much as I wanted to believe this Vlad voice…I just can’t I am too tired to fight…to tired to believe if I was a human I could have slept for a thousand years and still I would be too tired to keep fighting. Naturally I decided to avoid responding to that comment and asked him a logical question “why can’t I see you.” Perhaps it should have been the first question, but in my defense I am bat crazy these days…seeing things I just assumed this voice was another unwelcome symptom of my madness, but I am starting to suspect differently. The voice was silent, and I began to feel frustration when he finally answered me “because I have no body...at least not in this current location. I am here with you in spirit.” I raised an eyebrow and lowered my hands from my heart “ok Casper…so you’re here in spirit but why me…why speak to me.” I really wished I could see this guy, because it’s annoying not being able to see whom I am talking to…I wanted to know what this Vlad person looked like and see him…If I could see his eyes, see the way he stood in front of me then maybe I could get to know if he was menacing or not…hell I would know if he was real or not. “Are you going to answer me?” I asked him curious if he was still here. “I tell you what Sarah I shall answer you’re question if you answer mine first…do you agree to these terms” he asked me his voice was easy going and slightly annoying. “ok fine…ask your bloody question” I spoke softly and instantly the voice known as Vlad asked me “tell me about the one you called Brian…when you think of him…what is it you feel, what comes to your mind.” the question was a surprise and when I heard his name…I cringed in pain, because I missed him so. Hearing his name made me think about of course…the comfortable hugs, the embraces we shared, the good times we had. “Brian and I were destined to meet, we both found each other in the darkest part of our lives…we found love. I was scared I wasn’t used to kindness and love, to be honest, I thought I didn’t deserve love…I can’t speak for Brian, but being with him was the best time of my life…I miss him with all of my heart and I will love him for eternity…I have never been happier than when I was with him because he saved me from myself.” I answered him. “I knew you were going to say that.” Leaning my head back I rested it on the wall “then why did you ask me Vlad” I felt frustrated that this imaginary voice was annoying the crap out of me “Knowing something and hearing something are two different things…I knew you loved Brian, but hearing you speak of that love…is something else.” I seriously couldn’t understand…I have a theory being deprived of blood, poisoned and being kept in darkness for fuck knows long has made me nuttier than a squirrel’s turd. I waited for an answer, but there wasn’t the door opened and a dim light could be seen I saw the shadow of a figure “Who are you talking to Sarah” I recognized the voice “Can’t you hear him Felix…he speaks to me and haunts me. He annoys me.” I told him, Felix walked closer towards me and I noticed he seemed to be carrying a white dress in his hand, he crouched next to me “Sarah, there is no one here…and no other voices you have been speaking to yourself all this time” I shouldn’t have been surprised, I knew I was crazy, but still I was a little disappointed. Felix began speaking, but I didn’t hear him all I heard was Vlad “awww you like me” he taunted me, hearing his voice made me feel annoyed “shut up” Felix looked at me “Sarah….you had to have known this was coming…I am sorry if I could do something…anything to stop it I would.” He spoke his voice sounding broken, I watched Felix confused Felix was my guardian, my teacher and friend…even now he had treated me decent “what are you talking about.” I asked my voice clearly confused “Sarah…your execution is today…I am sorry.” his voice broke and he looked down, I was In shock…I knew this was coming…of course I betrayed Marcus, the Volturi hell I even killed two of them and one of them was Aro’s play thing. “Oh” was all that came out of my mouth; I looked down for a moment. And looked at Felix “Sarah…Knowing you has been an honor…I just wish it didn’t have to be this way...you were an incredible friend.” Felix stood up and turned from me, it was painful to watch…even now he cared about me…Felix you were a very good friend and protector…After Felix closed the door I picked myself up with a struggle and removed the filthy attire I had on putting on the beautiful white dress made me smile, it was good to wear something new…not that I am shallow like that, I don’t know I just felt comforting. After leaning onto the wall I slided down on it and leaned on it to sit up hours had passed by and I just waited for death. I spent this time thinking about a lot of things, how short my life truly been…wondering why I wasn’t afraid…I decided to try and talk to Vlad, sure he was just a figment of my imagination, but he made things easier. “The final hours of my immortality…I know I should feel fear, for I face the unknown…instead I feel relief because soon…I will finally be free, since regaining my memory…no long before that since the Volturi broke Brian and I apart I have felt like a caged bird watching the world from behind these caged bars…as I look towards that door I know that even though my life….my world has been darkness and suffering and god the pain I have endured soon I can spread my wings and fly” It was right after that the door had opened and there he stood. My friend…Felix he walked into the room and as he did, I saw Aro behind him “come Sarah everyone is waiting for you’re trial” he spoke, I knew this was bullshit there was no trial this was an execution an act of retribution for betraying the Volturi and killing two of their guards…I laughed bitterly for a moment “Hah don’t you mean execution” I spoke in retort to him Felix had picked me up as Aro remained silent, Felix had carried me out of the dungeon and closed my eyes. When I had opened my eyes I could see I was in the underground car park where Felix placed me in the back of the limo, I sat there with Sulpicia sitting opposite of me, Aro climbed in and Felix slammed the door shut and climbed into the drivers side, the limo began to move “well you’re braver than I thought Aro..not having any guards to protect you from me on this little trip” my voice had sounded like I was tired, like I was feeble…I didn’t like it, Aro had responded “you do not even have the strength to walk…you are no threat…not anymore.” I hated to admit it, but he was right…I was weak. it turned out, I was never strong…just a fool, there was a bump on the road and I struggled to stay seated. “Are you just going to give up Sarah?” Vlad had finally spoken again, I closed my eyes and sighed choosing not to respond “Brian…he believes in you…stay strong for him” Vlad spoke trying to reach me, the thing is…Brian wasn’t here and even if he was…I am so tired…so very tired of trying to be something I’m not, I was never strong…I was never a fighter. The limo came to a stop I listened to the door open as Felix climbed out, there was a loud thud moments later and the sound of broken glass, the front part of the limo rocked and another thud sound was made. Within seconds of the second thud the limo door was ripped from it’s hinges and to my shock Brian leaned in, Aro moved towards Brian only to be punched in the face, the punch had knocked Aro though limo’s closed door and out of the Limo. Brian picked me up and carried me out of the Limo “No one is roasting my baby girl” he spoke, I smiled looking at him he stood tall and proud he was a man…so powerful and beautiful. I hid my face in his chest and I don’t know how, but I could feel him smile, and I knew I was right, because I looked up at him and saw that loveable grin on his face. “You should have left me Brian.” I told him weakly, he looked down with me, and I felt something…it was comfort. “yo baby girl…for once let me save you ok...” he spoke, god I loved the sound of his voice. “you should flee Brian, fighting is pointless…let me die…let the madness end with me” I begged him, I could feel his grip tighten on me “I was meant to give you a message Sarah…at the time, I wasn’t sure if I should, because you fought so many battles that were not yours to fight…but now hearing you speaking like this like you have given up…that’s not you Sarah…listen if you don’t like the hand fate has dealt you…fight for a better hand, always fight for one and never give up.” Brian’s words reached me…I was still weak, I knew that much, but something else was going on inside me…a fire, a burning fire…the kind I usually felt when I was inspired. “Brian, can you hurry up, this dude is hard to hold down.” I looked at the direction of the voice and I saw this giant muscular guy holding Felix down, the guy seemed to have dimples and golden eyes “Sorry Emmett” Brian replied, I had looked ahead and saw in front of us were a stack of strange vampires I had never seen before…apart from Carmen and Eleazar whom I met before I had gained amnesia… when they visited the kings…and beside them was the two that was with Brian when last I saw him. Two unknown vamps had run past Brian and I and picked up Aro and tossed him into Caius, I was impressed with the vampire’s strength, I wondered who he was…he had golden honey blond hair, he was muscular, but lean unlike the guy who had Felix pinned. The second vampire was a female, she was beautiful looking at her made my self esteem drop fifty points “Look who I have” she spoke holding Sulpicia “that’s my Rose” The one known as Emmett spoke while holding Felix pinned, The man with the honey blond hair who had tossed Aro into Caius assisted Emmett in holding Felix down”thanks Jazz” Emmett had spoken In the front lines was a female, with brown hair, beside her I could see the back of a man that has bronze hair even with my weakened sense I could hear her speak “Edward…I’ll be fine…you have to let them know” she spoke, A man with short blond hair, and a woman with caramel hair walked beside the girl, the short blond haired man spoke “It’s ok Edward we will protect her while you’re gone…go now my son” the man’s voice was so kind, I don’t remember hearing anyone that pure “Carlisle….Esme thank you” and with that he left, he ran towards us past the other vampires who stood behind the two females and blond man .”What are you waiting for…take Sarah and run” Felix yelled while Emmett and this Jazz person held him down…Felix even now he cares about me “Brian…Felix is one of the good guys don’t hurt him please.” I pleaded quietly. A small pixie like female popped out from no where “Sarah’s right…Jasper, Emmett let him go, he won’t hurt us…I have seen it” she spoke, I looked at the female…she was like a pixie. “Ok Alice” the Jasper spoke, he and Emmett let go and Edward joined us “Brian we have to leave….Now, Bella can’t hold up the shield anymore…She is getting attacks from Alec and Jane at the same time and she is protecting too many of us.” Brian held me tight in his arms “Brian…let me down…I am going to end this once and for all.” My beautiful man was holding me even tighter, I loved how tight he held me “no Sarah, I didn’t go through all this to loose you again…this time you are coming home with me…to see our son.” He spoke with determination “Brian…you awakened something inside me…let me fight with you for a better future too…not just for us, but for everyone..” Brian reluctantly lowered me and Felix came to my side I smiled at him, he was betraying the Volturi for me…he was a splendid friend. “What’s you’re plan Sarah” he asked “I am going to the front lines…I am going to help out the one called Bella…Felix...you will lead the evacuation of everyone who is helping Brian and his friends…Brian…Take Sulpicia from the blond…when I call for you, bring Sulpicia…we are going to make a trade.” I spoke with determination “Feisty Sarah returns” Vlad spoke in my head, it was different this time, when he spoke before it was like he was in the room with me, this time it was like he was in my head like a thought only it was in his voice not mine. I had kissed Brian on the lips and smiled “Ok baby girl…lets end this now, so we can go home to our son.” I breathed in deeply and let the air out, I walked towards the one known as Bella she was a distance and I remembered thinking to myself I wouldn’t be able to walk all that way, and then I felt someone grab my arm and wrap it around his neck, when I saw who it was, it was the guy with bronze hair “If you need help all you need to do is ask” I wondered who the hell he was, “thank you” I spoke softly and I noticed his crooked grin ok I admit it was kind of cute. We walked together; well the bronze haired guy supported me a great deal until we made it to Bella he lowered my arm and I looked at Bella, she was beautiful and radiant. “Hello…my name is Sarah Frost” I spoke, Bella had moved her head slightly to look at me I could see concentration on her face, she had the look of struggle…like she had the weight of the world on her shoulders. “Hello Sarah…my name is Bella Cullen” I smiled “I would shake your hand, but it’s taking everything I have to block out Jane and Alec…I can’t hold it for much longer.” She sounded so friendly and pure…I looked at Bella and I saw her as Light, and then when I look at myself I saw myself as darkness. “Let me share you’re struggle Bella” I spoke softly to her. Bella seemed confused even as I grabbed her hand and held it. I closed my yes and began to pant, I was so tired but I managed to it concentrated on inspiring Bella, and strengthening her power. I fell to my knees at Bella’s feet still holding her hands “Sarah” I heard in the distance “no…Not….yet” I panted, Bella gasped and she panted along with me “what’s going on” the one with the heart shaped face and caramel hair spoke “Sarah…she has the ability to inspire others and supercharge their abilities as a side affect if she has any…she is strengthening Bella.” Edward informed her. “I…I can’t believe it I feel so strong” Bella spoke she sounded like a lot of that struggle had been removed. Thanks to my assistance. “What are you waiting for…Get them” Aro yelled, “Brian now.” I spoke out, I looked up to Edward and let go of Bella’s hand, I had used up pretty much all the energy I could to help her with…if only I wasn’t so weak. I looked at Edward and he helped me to my feet, this wasn’t good we still had too many of Brian’s friends around. Before I knew it, Brian was at my side holding Sulpicia. I had pulled Sulpicia out of Brian’s arms and had my arm around her neck “now Aro what was that you were saying about me not being a threat…Tell Jane and Alec to stop now and halt your men…or I will destroy her.” I threatened exhausted as I was. Aro said nothing and then I did something that surprised me I sank my teeth into Sulpicia’s neck and started feeding on her venom. The taste of venom was disgusting, but I would need lots of venom to battle the poison that was weakening me constantly. Sulpicia was shaking and shrieking, Athenodora watched with horror and Aro yelled “Ok stop…Jane, Alec…everyone stopped” at that moment everyone had halted, “I can’t feel their attacks on the barrier, Bella had spoken while watching me in shock” I pulled away from Sulpicia’s neck “Brian…can you get those two who assisted you previously to get the rest out of here” Brian had looked at me and I cringed feeling Sulpicia’s venom burn inside me, I held onto the bitch tighter than before. “Sarah if I do that we are going to be out numbered” Brian didn’t need to tell me this, I knew we would be “it won’t be a problem Brian…Aro knows if he makes any sudden movements, I’ll kill Sulpicia without hesitation.” Brian had sighed “Kate…Garrett take the next group out of here…” I knew I should have been focusing on the situation, but man is Brian sexy when he is bossing people around. With the next group gone things were getting intense “Aro we stand here before you’re witnesses, members of you’re guard…my friends and my mate…If you give me you’re word you will never come after me or anyone else who stood against you today…and you allow us to leave safely…then I shall give you Sulpicia…Give me you’re word Aro and I will give you you’re sweet Sulpicia.” I spoke softly with a smile on my face, I already had planned everything “You have my word….that we will not hunt you down or oppose you if you give me Sulpicia.” He spoke sounding furious As soon as Aro had spoken that I had ripped off Sulpicia’s head from her neck and kicked her body to the ground, Aro had screamed in unimaginable pain and I held Sulpicia’s head by her hair and smiled “KILL THEM ALL” he yelled, I raised a finger “you forget your vow Aro, I swore I would hand you Sulpicia….and so I have, I never stated in what condition I would give her to you…you on the other hand swore to leave us in peace and not attack us” I reminded him. Aro looked down “let them go” he knew he couldn’t break his vow not in front of his own witnesses or his reputation would be shattered. I could hear cheers from behind me, as the remaining witnesses on Brian’s side rejoiced. Brian wrapped his hands around me “Lets go home baby girl” I kissed Brian still holding onto Sulpicia’s head “Yeah, but first.” I had no intentions of letting Sulpicia pull herself together again, the bitch was as good as dead. We had all left the monastery and cliffs, everyone was chatting, while I was carried in Brian’s arms Holding Sulpicia’s head “what are you going to do with that” Brian asked me. “I am going to have it stuffed and put on display at home of course” I spoke sarcastically, Brian looked at me worried and I smiled, looking to Brian’s side I saw Felix…he had abandoned the Volturi and joined us…for me, he is an amazing friend I chucked Sulpicia’s head at him and he caught it “burn it” I told him. After a few miles of being carried we arrived to four cars, everyone had climbed in, Brian sat in the back seat and I on his lap. He stroked my hair “I can’t believe this is real….finally we are together again” he spoke softly the blond had climbed in to sit next to Brian “Hello Sarah…my name is Rosalie, I have been looking forward to meeting you” The big muscular one climbed into the front seat “come on babe, she has just been reunited with her boyfriend…give her some time before you try to pimp her son out onto our niece” I was honestly confused “Brian…I think the poison has fried my brain…do they want to pimp out my ten year old son.” I asked him feeling furious, “the poison that reminds me…is there any cure.” I nodded and answered him “the venom of another vampire…my venom is not enough to burn it out of my system…I need the venom of another to burn it out.” Brian put his wrist to my mouth “then have mine” he spoke, I looked at him and saw that beautiful smile I kissed his wrist “Later on…right now, just hold me in your arms…please” I asked him, Brian held me as tight as he could, I buried my face in his chest and at last I knew….I was finally free with my life ahead of me. ~Sarah Frost Topic: Taking sanctuary In a perfect world
Date: Unknown, 2019 ??? Dear Diary, It was nice and sunny on the beach, I couldn't feel the heat of the sun, but I could feel the touch of my muscular deity…Brian Jacobson…my savior, my constant…he was my reason for living. Him and my son. But Tobias was away today, he was at school with his sister Jayne leaving Brian and I completely alone at our home outside New York. We laid in the sand together in each other’s arms enjoying the loving embrace between us, I still couldn't believe we had found each other. Our relationship was far from perfect, like every other couple we had our struggles and disagreements, but even though I could throttle Brian at times…god I loved him and he loved me. Sometimes I would miss being human, just to feel the things of the sun’s warmth or the icy cold splash of the ocean…I missed sleeping and dreaming…but then having my perfect husband, my beautiful son and my daughter…what more could I have. I have the perfect life, we live together and it’s fantastic. Sure we do have some problems sometimes, Jayne is still human, but I intend to have Brian turn her when she is a little older. Maybe when she turns nineteen…or after she has a child, I don’t think I would mind being a grandmother..... Brian as a grandfather, that would be adorable. He was adorable raising Jayne and Tobias…I remember it all so clearly our fairy tail life began when we just moved from his holiday home in Volterra, and he found Jayne, my little girl he managed to get her into our custody with his amazing legal team. If that wasn't enough, when he proposed to me, oh my god the way he proposed was so romantic. We were just walking around New York one evening and we were inspecting some old buildings and when we inside one of these old strip clubs he looked at the real-estate agent and then got on one knee he had taken my hand, and oh I will never forget his words “My soul…my Mate grant me the honor of protecting you, for loving you and being your man, for all of eternity….Sarah Frost will you marry me?” I had to tell you I was blushing like school girl, until I stopped dead for a moment and scowled “your proposing to me in an old strip club” my voice was mixed with disbelief and shock. He had this smile on his face, it was cocky and arrogant and oh god did it arouse me he just spoke “no I am proposing in what will become your club, if you marry me…consider it a wedding present…but then, I can’t give it to you unless you agree to marry me” he spoke his voice was smooth…soft like silk, and so alluring. I couldn't couldn't help but smile, “what if I say no” I asked jested with him. Brian smiled as his crimson eyes looked at me “Well then I suppose ill repair this strip club and reopen it.” I scowled at Brian and pulled my hand from his and turned my back on him folding my arms I closed my eyes and made a hmpth sound. I could hear Brian’s chuckle as he got off his knee and wrapped those strong protective arms around me. His touch was ice cold, but I had gotten used to the ice cold touch of my lover. His lips touched my neck as he kissed it “I'm just joking babygirl” I opened my eyes and smiled, his hug around me loosened when I tried to turn around to face him once I was facing him his grip tightened and I smiled “well that’s a shame Mr. Jacobson…I was going to say yes” I told him softly, when i saw his eyes, I could see him bursting with joy “r…really” he stammered, I smiled “yes” and we leaned in to kiss each other. That moment in that old rotting strip club, was one of the happiest moments of my life. It wasn't long after that, that Brian and I had a wedding on the beach…my home away from home, the wedding was beautiful the scent of the ocean was fantastic we kept the wedding small and had a few guest all of them were Brian’s friends. We oversaw the construction of my wedding Present. I decided to turn the old strip club into a bar, rather than a night club, we kept the stage, and removed two of the strip polls, only one remained and I decided that the stage would become a stage for bands and Karaoke…I figured everyone should have the chance to be a star. The upstairs area would be sealed off for the staff members only…It’s funny Brian transferred his assistant Kayla, to come work for me as my assistant and she fell in love with one of the future Bouncers I hired for when we open, his name is Gary DeBray an excellent man and very loyal…he is the perfect match for Kayla, at least that’s what I think. The construction didn't take that long not when you’re rich like Brian, of course naming the club was hard I couldn't think of anything…except Eclipse, so that’s what I called it. Once we had the opening of the bar, Kayla was made the manager of my bar, I trusted her with Eclipse. She was a wonderful and trust worthy woman who worked her ass off…I remember telling Brian to give that girl a raise…Brian of course is trying to be heartless and dominating to his employees said no...That Brian so old fashioned at times, thankfully Kayla worked for me now so the first thing I did was increase her pay and gave her an assistant of her own. My Long overdue Honeymoon with Brian was fabulous, Jayne stayed with a friend of Brian’s they were vampires, but vegetarians so my little angel was in no danger of becoming brunch. For our Honeymoon, we spent the week in Paris; we barely left our honeymoon suite, lots of romance and hard core intimacy between us that could make even the seediest of people blush from shame. It was exactly 14 days after we made love for the first time on our honeymoon that I discovered I was pregnant with Tobias. I was thrilled Brian was going to be a papa with his own kid; Oh I will never forget when I told him the truth he sort of looked stunned like his mind checked out before he fell on his back, I of course walked to him and when I did see him return to his sense I called him a wimp and he frowned, for just a moment. The pregnancy was short, painful too mind you, but I survived it…and that’s when my little man Tobias Jacobson. He was a smart child and Jayne was happy to be a big sister, even though Tobias aged faster than her. All this happened just ten years ago, Jayne is now thirteen Tobias is 10, but he looks and acts like a teenager. Eclipse is going well, Kayla sadly no longer works for me, I organized for her to be transferred to one of Brian’s projects out in Mexico, of course she didn't go alone she ended up taking my best Bouncer Gary, but how could it be helped they were husband and wife. I don’t go into Eclipse much; the problem with being an immortal is you will always look the same and seeing as I am an immortal I can’t have anyone notice I haven’t aged at all, other than that my immortal life is perfect, I have had lots of many loving happy memories. As I laid here on the sand with Brian and his arms around I thought of each of those moments in my life…and I have no regrets Brian leaned in close as he wrapped his second arm around my waist and hr placed one leg over mine “we have to go to Tobias’s school tomorrow” he suddenly spoke as he rubbed his leg on top of mine. “What did he do now” I asked sounding unnecessarily exhausted. “Apparently someone taught him how to make a smoke bomb… do you know anyone could teach him how to make that” my crimson eyes looked away from brian’s “uh no” I responded trying to sound as innocent as possible “Really now didn't you do something like this in the past to a pep squad” It sounded like I was caught, so I over powered my husband and climbed on top of him sitting on his chest, I smiled mischievously and looked at his perfect face, god I could watch him for eternity, even now as the sun’s light shined on his skin and made him sparkle like thousands and thousands of diamonds he was perfect I leaned in to kiss him passionately and let me tell you there were fire works it was like BOOM BOOM BOOM. I knew I was lucky to have him, but as we kissed I knew something was wrong I heard this voice “ aw what a wonderful fantasy…Jane if you would be so kind.” The voice was sweet, but not a good kind of sweet it was the sickening kind of sweet. A few moments later everything just melted away, the sunny beach, the sand….Brian it was all gone, it was all replaced with pain as my daydream suddenly ended, I found myself in agony unimaginable pain, and then it ended after Aro told Jane that was enough. “That was such a nice daydream Sarah, very imaginative….perhaps your life would have ended up like that…if you hadn't gotten pregnant with Tobias when you did.” Aro spoke casually, for a moment I wondered how he knew, until I realized he must have touched me while I was…what was I doing, hallucinating…daydreaming… I don’t know…I looked at Aro, my eyelids felt like 100kg weights and it was like I was a human trying to keep them open, the poison it was sapping my strength, shutting me down . “wh..what…do…you…want” I asked him with difficulty, Aro explained he came for information, he wouldn't tell me what information he was looking for, but he told me I had given it to him, he walked out and left Jane in the room with me alone. “Master has rewarded me for my good service and allowed me to play with you.” She sounded so smug and superior “I’m sorry Jane…..im not into children.” Struggled, with that one glare and Jane was Torturing me, the pain was constant and never ending, although my back was to the wall I eventually slide onto my side and my head hit the ground, the pain thankfully ended when Jane left I couldn't be sure of how long the torture went on for…minutes….hours…days…weeks…months…years, I don’t know. I was completely isolated in the darkness and isolated from the rest of the world, weak from the poison and suffering from thirst, as I laid there unable to move, I thought about that fantasy, everything felt so real…so perfect…I was so happy. I had to stop myself from thinking about it, I just felt this pain inside my far worse than anything Jane could have ever done…my mind had given me the perfect life, while my body was crippled…unable to move with the poison that was probably destroying me…As I lay there in the eternal darkness with nothing to look at, except t he door and unable to move my body…things started to fade away, each second felt like an hour. The door opened and there was a dim light in the distance, in the light there was a shadow blocking the door way the figure blocking the doorway came to me after closing the door behind him “Sarah” it was difficult, but I focused my eyes and I saw him “Brian” I whispered weakly and smiled Brian looked at me rather peculiarly “no Sarah your delirious…it’s Felix” I was confused “Brian…don’t mess with me…please not now” Brian looked at me and he apologized. “I’m sorry….Sarah, hey I have something for you” he spoke; he sat down on the ground and pulled my body to him as my upper body leaned against his chest “Did you come here to save me Brian” I asked with great effort. Brian was quiet “no Sarah…I'm sorry, I can’t” he spoke quietly, I let out a sob as he and he pulled out a drink bottle from his cloak, I couldn't figure out why he was dressed like a member of the Volturi “I just want to go home Brian…I just want to be with you and Tobias” I whimpered out upset. Brian was quiet, he was never this distant with me “I know do Sarah ok, now listen…I need you to do something for me, do you think you can do it.” He asked me, looking into those crimson eyes of his “I would do anything for you Brian.” I whispered quietly, he smiled he looked so sad “I need you to drink this…it’s going to burn and it will hurt, but you have to drink it Sarah ok” He asked me in a way that was so unusual to him, I nodded again weakly and he brought the drink to my mouth and I started to drink it, I had no idea what it was at first, but it was horrible it burned, oh god did it burn, it was venom that much I knew. I pulled away “Please Brian…no more…I beg you…it hurts” I pleaded, but Brian ignored me, he put his hand to my head and made me drink it and oh god how much it hurt, I wish I could have cried as I whimpered in pain as he made me drink it, the entire time I heard him shushing me comforting me and telling me it would all be alright. I managed to drink half the bottle when I heard Brian cuss lowly; he closed up the bottle and wiped my mouth before putting me back where he found me, he slipped the drink under his cloak and got up, he started to kick me in the gut over and over and I screamed in pain “why Brian” I whimpered. The door opened and again there was a shadow was much shorter and it walked in while Brian continued to kick me…it was Jane “Felix, what are you doing here?” She asked emotionlessly Brian stopped kicking me and turned to face Jane “Master Aro gave me permission to torture he traitorous bitch…she is rather crazy she keeps calling me that pathetic fool Brian.” Jane cackled with laughter for a moment, while I suffered from ingesting the venom Brian fed me “wow Felix and I thought I was heartless, but you proved to be just as heartless as I am…beating on your former pupil…why does she call you Brian” Brian shrugged “the poison is making her delirious” He answered shortly, Jane nodded “Does master know you’re here Felix” she asked sounding curious “Master Caius gave me permission” he spoke calmly, Jane nodded her head “well Felix you may leave now” she spoke with authority, I couldn't understand why Jane kept calling Brian, Felix. But Brian turned from Jane he didn't even look at me as he walked out the door “BRIAN” I managed to scream out, but nothing he just kept walking and closed the door behind him. Jane snickered “you’re a fruit loop Sarah…at long last everyone else saw what I have seen from the beginning” I couldn't say anything to Jane, my heart was broken just like my body… Brian left me here alone. Why did he leave me here suffering in agony from the venom he made me drink, why did Jane keep calling him Felix. Jane began her fun as I burned in agony from not only the venom, but from Jane’s wrath. As she inflicted her wrath and then I learned what pain really was…but eventually every thing went far far away again, I stopped screaming and slowly I smiled as I was back on the beach on top of Brian “Welcome back” baby girl his voice spoke comforting me. ~Sarah Frost Topic: Like a phoenix from the flames I have risen… At last I am awake and I see the truth.
Date: June 14, 2019 Dear Diary, I tried to think of a way to confide in you… the news I have to tell you now is so big, I have no idea how to start. I guess I could start by saying the truth will always set you free. I started this day like any other day, It was with Marcus one of the three vampire kings. He is my husband and mate, but not my love... I never did love him, I thought I did once… I had feelings, but it wasn't love. It was something else, perhaps it was gratitude. Marcus had portrayed himself to be my savor, but he was far from it he was my captor and tyrant. My day started much like any other; I was with Corin and Felix in my shared bedroom with Marcus. It seemed my personal guards change often from Corin to Alec, occasionally it would be Chelsea or to my horror Jane… Felix however was my constant he was my personal guard and he gives me some comfort he was like an ally, a friend I could confide in and he always kept my confidence. It was a boring morning; I was in our bedroom rereading one of my favorite stories Romeo and Juliet. It is an epic story of star crossed lovers kept apart by a violent feud. Only in death could the two lovers finally be united in eternity… sweet oblivion. After putting the book down I looked at Felix who stood near the door, he leaned against the wall watching me, he took his job very seriously “is something troubling you” he asked concerned, moving to the edge of my bed “I'm bored I want to leave the castle and go shopping” I informed Felix, of course I knew it probably wouldn't happen I was rarely allowed to leave the castle even with the guards. I felt like I was truly in a prison especially when Corin was not around. Felix looked like he was struggling; he had no idea what to say to me. Corin stood up “I shall go speak to master Marcus” Corin left the room and I moved back to the bed. I sat on the bed alone I had one leg stretched out over the other and my arms stretched out over the pillows. It was nice that Marcus wasn't here, he is the type of husband that is very possessive, he prefers to call me his… maybe I wouldn't mind that if I was in love with Marcus, but I wasn't in love with him. Marcus is the type of husband to treat his wife as his property, I do what he says… I do not understand him after all these years of trying to figure Marcus out he is madly in love with me, he gives me gifts occasionally and treats me well, but he treats me like an object to possess… I know better than to question him of course… it's not in my place to question Marcus, my husband and one of the three kings of our kind my role was to be his pillar of strength to comfort him and tend to his needs, my life is very dull, I miss the time before being engaged to Marcus. I could go out shopping, and even that short holiday in Australia was very pleasant it, but the days of leaving the castle was rare. Marcus is very happy, his joy comes at the expense of mine… I felt trapped because I knew I would spend an eternity in servitude to Marcus and I hated it. I was surprised when Corin returned and informed Felix and I that Demetri, Felix and Chelsea would be joining me. I of course was thrilled, I could finally leave the castle, the first thing that came on my mind was my choice in clothing, well I did have a lot to pick from, I didn't really get any say in my attire Athenodora and Sulpicia picked my clothing out, they have been queens longer than I so it’s natural for them to have more seniority over myself, I am an infant if anything. To think of myself as a child, many would say it was foolish, but I disagree I am a child, I am foolish and naïve I can recognize those qualities in myself. I know who I am… my old diary has informed me just how much of a fragile human I was. If not for the slimy jerk that ruined my life my humanity could have continued well into old age, but then like everything in life things changed. Marcus saved me only to condemn me to be his mate for eternity… I often did ask myself if I ever love him, my old diary claimed that I did love him greatly... but then that was before my memory lost, things change, people change. The thing I cant understand is Marcus knows I don’t love him, he literally knows he can see love between relationships so why is he pushing this. At this moment the answer did not matter, I was relieved to the fact that I could go out and as I picked the long silk black dress out and once I had it picked out, Felix and Corin kindly left my room to stand outside my door giving me some privacy to get dressed. I removed my dress and left on a silk gown under the black silk skin tight dress. I naturally left the golden Volturi crest necklace around my neck. Many wore this with pride; I wore it feeling as if it was a leash around my neck. After fixing my hair and taking my purse and putting on my heels and Leather jacket. Before I forgot I grabbed my gift from Felix, a sheathed dagger covered in poison that amazingly enough affected vampires. I left my bedroom to see Felix, Chelsea and Demetri waiting for me, Corin had already left to do something else. The three of us left together, going to town it was such a beautiful day it was rather cloudy, with no sunlight, there were many humans around all enticing to me, it made my throat burn, but I was no longer a wild newborn I had a level of control over myself and if I was to lose control I trusted Felix to keep me in line. I did have to admit, I felt something strange, the best way to describe it was a pull, something was pulling me at first it felt like a gut instinct, and then it was something else it was a scent oh my heavens the scent was incredible it was overwhelming and familiar…the scent was similar to the scent of the air during and after a storm it was fresh and I loved the scent a great deal, but there was something else in the scent it was sweet very sweet it was the scent of a vampire, I was sure of it. I followed my nose and perhaps my heart to this rather beautiful house. I wanted to go closer and closer and when I tried Demetri grabbed my arm and I looked at him furiously he shook his head slowly telling me it was not acceptable, and then we were forced to return to the castle which left me feeling rather disappointed. Felix left me in my room and asked Jane to keep watch over me while he went to make a report to Aro. I didn't understand why Aro had to get involved I did nothing wrong. I spent the rest of the day confined to my room, Jane finally left and put me in the care of Corin, Athenodora and Sulpicia had joined me, needless to say the company was abysmal. We sat and discussed dull topics, the sort of topics that would want to make you bang your head against a wall repeatedly, but that would be un-queen like. After a great amount of time passed Jane entered the room and told us that we were required in the throne room. It was bizarre how the three of us stood up in unison and walked towards the door we left and were outside the throne room I could hear yelling and I thought I heard my name mentioned it was awkward. Then there was something I noticed, the very sweet scent of the storm, the pleasant scent was beautiful, the doors opened, Athenodora walked out at first and took her place to stand at Caius' side, followed by Sulpicia, whom stood at Aro’s place and of course I was the last to walk out and stood at Marcus' side, when I looked ahead I saw Felix and Santiago holding down a gorgeous man, this man had dark chocolate skin, he was muscular, he was perhaps the most beautiful man I had ever seen. I watched him emotionless and he looked at me with a shocked expression, something about this gentleman was unsettling to me, I could feel something deep inside me, the silence was broken when I heard Marcus speak “Sarah my pet…give me a kiss” His voice was filled with that sick and twisted joy, he was so delusional he could have been in Narnia. I leaned down and kissed My husband, I could feel him slip in his tongue Marcus was bold and cocky to do so, but then again he was the king and I his pillar of strength. Marcus had finally pulled back and I leaned upright to return my gaze on the man being restraint by Felix and Santiago, “Sarah this is Brian Jacobson the vampire that attacked you all those years ago” Marcus had spoken, my eyes opened slightly wider in shock at the information, but before Marcus could even speak Brian had interrupted Marcus and addressed me, he told me he would never harm me. I could see Santiago tighten his grip on Brian. Marcus had resumed speaking telling me that Brian was exiled from Volterra and that his return meant he broke the law. Of course I knew what that meant; Marcus had asked me how we should punish him. I was surprised and looked at my husband It was bizarre, who was I to decide punishment for law breakers it wasn't my place, but then Marcus asked me a question, raising my hand I pointed a single finger at the man who ruined my life “off with his head” I spoke emotionless, I had to admit it was a struggle to sound emotionless the man who ruined my life stood before me with his execution moments away. I don’t know why I have this gut feeling inside me and I couldn't understand it at first, but I think it was telling me that killing Brian was wrong. I mean Brian Jacobson was the man who exposed me to the vampire world, he hunted me down and tried to attack me…because of Brian Jacobson I am a vampire and Marcus’ queen…I am here because of this man…yet I do not want to see him die. I watched with difficulty as Felix tightened his hands on Felix neck it would only be a few more moments from now, but then I heard it, Brian’s voice called out my name with desperation I could see such powerful emotions in his eyes he had the look of fear and sadness in his eyes and it was unbearable “Stop” the words escaped my lips and when they did I was in disbelief. Marcus looked up at me and I looked at him and before I knew it my body was acting on it’s own I bent down to my husband and whispered in Marcus ear “My love may I please dispose of him” I asked him, using the word love and calling him mine made me feel dirty and sick, but I was curious I wanted to get close to this Brian Jacobson. Of course Marcus took the opportunity to patronize me, I had behaved myself well the last few years, this was my reward for being a good dog. After pulling back from Marcus he gave Santiago and Felix the order to back down and they did so obediently. I approached Brian and watched how still he was, he didn't dare move an inch, The closer I got to Brian the stronger that scent of the storm air was growing ever so stronger I swear there was a moment when I was almost lost in it. I kept myself calm and gave Brian a smile it was fake, I felt no joy in this even if this man condemned me for eternity. What could I say to him for ruining my life, I had no idea instead I just went with my instincts and watched him closely, he was handsome, very handsome I stopped myself inches from Brian looking into those beautiful eyes of his and placed my hands around his neck, his skin was so warm and soft and I actually felt something inside when I touched him, this emotion it was sort of excitement and warmth, utterly impossible to describe in any other way. “I don’t remember you Mr. Jacobson, I was fortunate enough to loose my memories including the night you tried to assault me, I am finally able to get revenge, for how much you destroyed my life Mr. Jacobson.” The words escaped from my lips as I reluctantly tightened my grip around Brian’s neck. I wondered if feeling empathy was normal, of course not this man ruined me he stole my life, yet I wanted to hear him speak one more time and so I asked him “any last words Mr. Jacobson” My words seemed to strike him as he closed his eyes for a moment and then looked directly into my eyes “Sarah…the real Sarah I know you're there deep down inside…If you can hear me….I'm sorry, I'm sorry I couldn't protect you I am sorry that because of my weakness you have suffered so much and missed out on so many years of good memories. Forgive me babygirl please.” Brian’s words had shocked me for so many reasons it was so touching and heartfelt, but when he called me babygirl it was so familiar. My grip around Brian’s neck loosened “babygirl… that’s one of the nicknames Marcus calls me.” I uttered in disbelief, how could Brian know Marcus nickname for me? Before I could ask him Brian had put both of his hands on both sides of my cheeks and he kissed me passionately, I fought it at first I honestly did, but I couldn't get free and then something happened…it was like I was leaning against a door trying to keep it closed when someone on the other side was desperately trying to open that door. I tried to hold that door closed for as long as I could, but eventually it kicked open and when it did these black and white flashes entered my head, the flashes were bright and excruciating, but everything was coming back to me…all my memories were freed and I was free at long last I was free everything had come back to me. I remembered everything. Including Chelsea and Corin influencing me, to make me feel content and close to the Volturi emotionally…and I remembered how I lost my memories. I was peeking into the throne room trying to learn information on Aro and the others when I over heard them passing on an offer to the vampire that his abilities erase memories would be useful to the Volturi and if he declined he would be charged with the crime of breaking secrecy which would result in death. Of course the vampire chose the third option and that was to try and take out the kings and is why I burst in and took the attack…The vampire wiped my memories instead of the kings and my plans I was concealing stayed hidden. I was reborn in every way I could think of and the best part about it was the fact I had my man with me I had my true love here to make me feel alive… I felt this sensation inside me this joy it was so powerful it made me feel warmth inside, love and all I wanted to do was cry with joy. I couldn't cry of course because I'm a vampire… My grip tightened and I never wanted it to end. The amazing thing is as memory and sensation returned, the world around me went away it was like I was in this white room with no one and nothing else in it except for Brian. When Brian is in my life I have never felt more alive, his touch and embrace it, there is no limits that can be reached, no end to true love for each sensation and moment is eternal and powerful. I was sadly brought back to reality when I heard a voice, Marcus was furious at me the rage was intense just from the sound of his voice; things were going to get ugly real fast. Pulling back, I stepped in front of Brian and stretched my arms out, Brian’s safety was my number one priority at the moment, and his life was far more valuable than my own. A world without Brian isn't something I can imagine and it was up to me to protect him and keep him alive, I was taking Brian home to my son and I would protect both of them myself I should have known Brian couldn't handle this on his own…never leave a man to do a woman's job. “Marcus it’s over between us, from this day forward I want nothing to do with you…you lied to me, and you have allowed some horrible things to happen to me in the last ten years…I will not allow you to harm my child’s father I forbid it.” I informed Marcus I was determined to keep my family safe, I went through so much suffering and agony and went through monstrous changes just to keep them alive. The things I have witnessed and done will be a part of me forever and I knew it would take its toll on me, I turned to face Brian and smiled “lets go home…baby boy” I smiled at him. Brian had asked me if I remembered him and I told him “I owe you a big explanation Brian” I answered him. Holding Brian’s warm hand we turned to make our way out when Marcus' voice bellowed for Felix and Santiago to kill Brian. The words did not need a moment to sink in I tripped Brian with my leg so he would fall over and not get caught in Santiago and Felix’s attack. I actually stepped onto Brian’s gut so no one could drag him away while I was holding off the two guards. It was as I expected the two came at me from both sides, I was afraid I was facing two of the strongest guards the Volturi had, but I knew that there was one power on this earth that was stronger than brute force and that was love…my love for Brian gave me the strength and courage I needed. I had caught both of the vampires wrists and stopped them in their tracks. “I don’t like it when people attack my loved ones, I get kind of testy” I spoke feeling antagonized, I spun around and as I did I tossed both of them a distance. Felix who was once my best friend now turned enemy crashed into a wall while Santiago slid across the ground. Stepping off of Brian I watched the Volturi as he picked himself up, It was as I feared Aro was calling Jane and I could fight off Jane’s ability I could, but the problem is Brian couldn't. Jane had stepped forward with that sadistic grin on her face, who would hit the ground in agony would it be Brian or myself, it was both to our surprise that a hooded member of the Volturi placed their hand on Jane and sent Jane to the floor in pain, Jane was twitching and screaming in pain. The hooded member of the Volturi lowered the hood and it was a female she seemed pleased with herself, Brian had startled me when he yelled out to the female asking what she was doing here, apparently her name was Kate. I had to admit, I had no idea who this Kate was, but I liked her she seemed to be a sadist like Jane and enjoyed shocking Jane, but in Kate's defense Jane is a grade A bitch. Returning my attention to my surroundings I could see Santiago turn from my direction and went towards Kate. My feet moved on their own accord, and I ran to Santiago and tackled him to the ground and bit into his neck before pulling off his head. I could taste Santiago’s venom inside me and it stung a great deal. What surprised me is the fact a stranger called my name, I glanced at the man and he threw a match box at me, of course it was easy to catch and after getting up I set a match stick a light and disposed of Santiago. The flames consumed Santiago giving him the true death, it was strange this man had once been one of my guards yet I felt nothing for him as he turned to ash. I had moved my gaze from the flame to Aro to watch him stand up and yell “Don’t just stand there seize them and destroy them all” the woman known as Kate had stood up and ran towards Brian followed by her accomplice I made my way towards Brian and his friends “we have to leave now” the words escaped my lips as I grabbed Brian’s hand and started to run, we were followed by his friends . Everything was so intense we were followed by Demetri, I knew it I looked back with Brian and saw Demetri holding the poison in his hand. I Knew what was coming, they were going to use it on Brian to take him down. Kate and the other one had over taken us and Demetri threw the vial without even thinking about it I let go of Brian's arm and shielded him from the poison allowing it to hit me instead. The poison was fast acting and I unleashed a yell of pain, and felt that poison sink into my skin I already felt strange, “Keep running” I spoke out softly I had stopped running and as Demetri caught up I swiftly avoided one of his blows to deliver a punch and punched Demetri knocking him off his feet followed by punching down one of the pillars, the ceiling above us began to shake. Brian and his friends had stopped running the ceiling was shaking and as Demetri picked himself up and my body began to suffer as one of the affects of the poison, I could feel my strength just fading fast and there was pain, unbelievable pain. Demetri was at me and with an effort I had stopped him and tossed him into another pillar the ceiling was at it’s limits which was exactly what I wanted. It was starting to collapse and I knew the truth I couldn't go with Brian now, as much as I wanted to I just couldn't…I was infected with this poison and I would only slow Brian and his friends down…I have to put him first…for Tobias. I looked at my soul mate and tried to smile, I pulled out the gift given to me by Felix oh so long ago, and chucked it to Brian he caught it and I knew I had to be quick “Brian…this is a weapon covered in a deadly poison the Volturi have been working on a poison to get rid of the Cullen’s coven you…you have to warn them get them to run…take Tobias and flee with them” I spoke in agony. I turned to Demetri, things were going to get ugly, Brian had asked a question about being able to flee with Demetri about. “Brian leave Demetri to me, just take Tobias and protect him” Brian stood still “BRIAN SAVE TOBIAS” I yelled out feeling a little pissed. Brian told me he would take Tobias some place safe and then he would come back for me, I broke my gaze from Demetri and smiled “I know you will…I love you Brian now and forever” I confessed and the ceiling collapsed blocking Brian off. Brian had left and that left me with Demetri, my strength was fading fast I felt like I was weak, less than vampire and a hell of a lot less than human. Demetri came at me and tackled me into the newly caved in wall and with an amount of effort I pushed him off me and tackled him into the floor I climbed on top of him and bit into his neck, I always had this theory on the poison and how to stop it or at least slow it down. Venom…venom could burn off the poison…but one vampires venom might not be another.. So this was where Demetri came in, I drained his venom he tried to fight me off and I don’t know how, but I did it I stayed on top of him and sucked in his venom…Taking in a vampires venom is painful and unbearable something you could never imagine. After taking in all I could I rolled to the side…I was too weak to get up and I didn't know long it would take before Demetri’s venom would kick in, but I did manage to light that matchstick from the matches I had and I set Demetri on fire. He burned and his screams were heard. I was at his sides and the flames were close to me, It would only be a matter of time before the flames had spread to me and taken me along with Demetri, but the flames had never reached me, in fact everything had gone blank, my body went numb, my emotions had gone and so had my mind…I wondered if the flames consumed me and I perished in the blaze…If this was death it wouldn't have been so bad I died to give Brian and Tobias another chance to survive. It was some time later that the white void began to vanish and I found myself in a dark dark room I was sitting up leaning against a wall with Marcus, Felix and Aro in the room, Alec was exiting the room and I watched as Aro walked towards me, he crouched to the ground, something I never saw him do before and moved in to be inches from me and I tried to move, but I couldn't move at all. “Well well well, Sarah I must say you seem to have a magnificent gift for trouble…you have slaughtered two of my guards and one of them was very valuable.” he spoke calmly, I mustered up a smile “what can I say, you can’t spell slaughter without laughter.” I spoke and laughed a little, I had a smile on my face it was smug and arrogant, what made me like that was seeing Aro’s face. He looked pissed, he slapped me and leaned in closer “yes that is indeed true, but we shall see who is laughing last when I am slaughtering your beloved Brian and your son dear dear Sarah” he spoke with confidence, I kept my smile on my face “the question you have to ask yourself Aro is how do you expect to find them when your blood hound is nothing but ash.” Aro looked annoyed and stood up “Oh I will find him Sarah and if not I shall spread word of your pending execution…in fact I am thinking of making it a public event so all of our kind can see judgment cast on the Volturi’s backstabbing bitch” I was surprised, I don’t know why, I should have expected it that I would be executed for this crime, but it did catch me off guard. “No smart replies Dear Sarah…I see the seriousness of your actions have finally sunk in.” Aro chuckled he walked toward the door and I stopped him by calling his name, as he turned to face me I had a dark grin on my face “the first time you met me, I was a clueless human, the second time you met me I was a human carrying a vampire’s child…the third time you met me I was vampire with no memory of past….the next time you meet me Aro, I will be death and it will be you I claim” Aro lost his temper and he stormed towards me and grabbed me by the neck lifting me off the ground “I am the ruler of our people and you are nothing but a whore, do you honestly think you can oppose me…you could never learn your place and now it will result in your death.” He snapped before dropping me. I had hit the ground hard and Aro walked out. Marcus had followed not saying a single word or looking back to me. It was only Felix and I and he looked at me like his heart was breaking I had no idea why eventually I spoke to Felix “so much for my theory about venom being the cure” I mumbled feeling weaker than ever. Felix was quiet “When I found you…Alec had you subdued with his gift, while Afton pulled you away from the flames…Aro arrived with Jane and ordered for you to be given more of the poison just to be safe” I looked down and smiled, at least I knew what happened, how I survived and the fact that Brian and his friends had somehow escaped. Felix had spoken again “why Sarah? Why did you do it, why did you betray us, don’t you now what you have done and what this means for you? … Sarah you’re a criminal now, their going to give you an execution…and its not private like normal rule breakers, but what you have done…their going to make it a public for all of our kind to see.” He tried to make me realize what my actions had caused and the events it would set into motions, I saw the truth very well, my truth was different than his. I smiled my answer was simple and no explanation was needed “The answer is Felix…I did it for love” ~Sarah Topic: A Saint Marcus Day wedding.
Date March 19, 2015 Dear Diary, It has been five years since my last entry, in my last entry I was punished for my sins of attacking one of the guard on multiple occasions, Jane for the murder of a human child named Toby. Since those five years, I have changed for the better. I keep my emotions in check, and act as a future queen should. I have finally realized that. My reason’s for not writing in my diary, well I have no idea why i have chose not to write…and confide in you. I must mention my lessons with Felix have stopped, as Marcus and Caius so kindly suggested that I could dedicate my time to fulfill my duties and prepare for my role as the queen of Volturi so of course I spent a great deal of the time with the queens this time I paid very close attention to the lessons and did as I was told. The last five years have been rather uneventful and bland, I live for the Volturi and so shall I help Marcus govern it for that is my role as queen. I have been busy as of late. My sisters and I have been preparing for my wedding to Marcus the wedding will not only make me the wife, the mate of king Marcus it will be my coronation as the third queen. Our preparations did not involve the normal human customs well not all of them. My future sister in-laws Sulpicia and Athenodora hosted a hen’s night. Some of the guests were Heidi, Renata, Chelsea, Corin and Jane, the men were not allowed at our party. I had no idea that the party was going to take place, it was a surprise. I was walking down the hall on my own when Sulpicia approached me and informed me that my presence was needed to witness the execution of a law breaker I followed her and we went to the throne room, When I came inside I saw Athenodora, Renata, Chelsea, Corin and Jane the room looked just the same and it wasn’t long until Heidi joined us with a small group of tourist “I apologize for being late, I had to drop off some of our food to the dungeons for the wedding tomorrow” She spoke approaching Sulpicia and Athenodora the queens. They forgave her of course and we looked at the humans, they weren’t from around here, one of the Volturi laws is hunting inside the city is prohibited we never gather civilians because it would bring suspicion on us, we hunt outside our city sometimes bringing in humans from a long distance, but today was different it was the day before my wedding to Marcus and the day before Saint Marcus Day, a holiday where a man named Marcus ran all the vampires out the city decades ago. We never left the city we just allowed the humans to think that, but every year we would have tourist come and visit the city is overflowed with the flesh bags and we feast. I examined the humans, Heidi really outdid herself, she gathered seven human’s in all shapes and sizes the eldest human there looked to be in their thirties while the youngest teemed to be 10 a little boy I looked at the child curiously for a moment and turned my back, my throat was burning I walked back to my sisters and stood beside them the two discussed which humans they wanted, I had chosen the male human, he had red hair and green eyes, he was slightly tanned and wore a black T-shirt and jeans. You had to give it to Heidi she had a talent for bringing in the food. She really did. Heidi has an ability, what Aro would call Physical attraction. No man, woman or child can resist her charms she has the ability to lure anyone to go with her, only a few have been known to fight off her ability. I walked to the blood bag I was interested in and grabbed him by the arm and everyone went off and grabbed a human there was one for each of us before we feasted Corin spoke out “To Sarah, may you have an eternity of love and joy with Marcus.” It was a short toast, but better than I expected. I thanked Corin for the well wishes. Over the last five years I have gotten to know Corin well, she has a soothing influence she eases us, she is a part time guard to us for the strange fact we tend to get uneasy and slightly ill when she is around for a long amount of time. We had all bitten into our humans the screams were loud and almost in unison, when I fed on that human I could not bring myself to stop, feasting has made me like a shark, once I taste blood I go into frenzy I devour my victim without remorse for I am a soulless creature of the night and the only purpose these flesh bags have is to sustain my kind. I was the first to finish off the human; I discarded the corpse like it was nothing and watched everyone taking their time draining the humans slow. One of the things that makes me different is I don’t like taking my time with the human it is just too much of a bother lately. I examined the other women feeding off their meals, when Jane stopped and looked up at me, “Sarah would you like some of my human.” She asked her voice was almost like a taunt, she had an arrogant smile on her face I looked at the child and even after all these years seeing a child slipping away is unsettling to me. “No thank you Jane, thank you very much for the kind gesture.” I spoke answering her, she smiled wickedly and returned to feasting off of the child. I walked to the chairs and sat on one of the them, I watched everyone feed, Heidi was the first of them to finish her meal, she dropped the corpse and a thud was heard, Heidi pulled out a napkin and wiped the blood from the side of her mouth before coming to sit at my side. I did not know Heidi that well and I did not like her much, she was just the lure of a fishing rod to me. I did find myself curious about her as we sat in silence waiting for the others to finish their meal I finally asked her what was on my mind. “Heidi what was your life like before you joined the Volturi” I watched her and she looked at me, “I thought you knew… well I was born in the 15th century in my beloved homeland Germany. My life was interesting, my parents raised me and when I was 15 I had suitors lined up desperate for my hand they were drawn in by my beauty of course none of them loved me for my heart or personality… I was 15 when I realized men do not have the capacity of love.” She sounded so bitter, and at such an early age I had no idea, but at that moment I hated Heidi a little less. I listened to her as she went on “I chose to be alone and rejected every suitor, I had such high expectations what I did not know was my parents were hoping I would find a suitor of high class to pay off their debts, I was to save my family from poverty, but I refused to settle and we went into poverty. My parents did not last, they died on the streets, and I resorted to selling myself to survive. I eventually met Hilda and Hilda was a vampire and my maker…Hilda she was a kind woman she created me out of pity, she was my salvation and washed away my sins cleaning the slate. Oh I was happy with Hilda she was my friend… she was a mother to me. Eventually we had others join us Noela, Mary, Victoria and her sister Anne. We were a family Sarah, we loved each other like a family should and one day Aro came along, he accused Hilda of creating an army to oppose the Volturi.” She went silent and I knew why. We the Volturi have only a few laws, but the major rules are the following. 1. Immortal children are forbidden to create. Reason: They are incapable of self control and that makes them a threat of exposure, this crime is punishable via execution. 2. Allying yourself with children of the moon is prohibited. Reason: They are creatures without reason and mangy mutts this crime is punishable by death. 3.False witness regardless of your intent is forbidden, this crime results in instant execution. Reason: The life of a vampire is Precious and doing something to endanger that of another vampire is a crime. 4. Hunting in Volterra is forbidden. Reason: This is our home and we do not wish suspicion to be brought into our home and our kingdom. We the Volturi have our food brought outside the city. 5. Hunts must be inconspicuous with victims unlikely to be missed, the remains of a corpse must be disposed of and the territory must be changed often. Reason: This is to avoid suspicion, we must remain a myth to the flesh bags. 6. Newborn vampires must be trained before being released on their own. reason: Newborns are savages and uncontrollable they must be educated in our lifestyle to prevent the other rules from being violated. 7. Rebellion against the Volturi is prohibited. Reason: Our word is law; those who oppose us must die. No excuses. Yes it was the 7th rule that Hilda broke and of course that meant death. I looked at Heidi as I could see a hint of emotion in her eyes “Aro had seen into the deepest darkest parts of Hilda’s mind and he confirmed that Hilda, Noela, Mary, Victoria and Anne were plotting against the Volturi, Hilda was killed on the spot which caused the others to escape everyone, but Victoria was killed. Victoria was a slippery one she had this talent for self preservation. Aro saw that I was innocent, that I had no idea what they were plotting and they offered me a place in their coven giving me a new chance at life and I accepted. As for Victoria she had lived her life on the run and as I have been told she was murdered 9 years ago by a vampire named Edward Cullen… leaving me the only survivor of my old family.” She spoke sounding emotionless. I had listened to Heidi’s story and felt no sympathy for her, her story was sad, true enough, but not enough for me to care about her pain. The others had finished and walked to the seats they had all taken their seats one after another “so what do we do next.” Heidi asked curiously, I shrugged it’s not like I had experience with this so I wouldn’t know what we do “I have no idea, perhaps we should end this party while we are ahead and go prepare for the big day tomorrow.” I suggested ever so casually Sulpicia and Athenodora thought it would be a good idea I thanked them kindly for the meal and company and walked out, I was alone when I walked through the castle until Felix stepped in front of me and greeted me. I greeted him back with no emotion. In the last five years our time has been cut short, I no longer had his lessons so the only time we were together was when leaving the castle and that was rare. In fact if not for Corin I probably would have gone insane. Felix asked me to come with him, he wanted to show me something “very well, but hurry up I have prior engagements I must prepare for.” My voice was emotionless. I walked with Felix to a room I had never seen before it looked like a room where weapons were forged “what is this place?” I asked curious Felix had walked to a bucket and picked up a dagger “this is our weapon’s den, for the last five years the masters and I have been working on a weapon… a weapon that will change the history of our species.” I was confused why would we need weapons we are vampires we are superior to humans in every way, we didn’t need weapons to kill them. Felix looked at me when I asked him the question that was now plaguing my mind. “why would we need weapons,” Felix held the weapon by the handle “on December the 31st of 2006 the entire Volturi guard and a hand full of witnesses on our behalf traveled to Forks, Washington for a trial, you see a clan on unorthodox vampires known as the Cullen’s were accused of creating an immortal child a crime as you know is punishable by death. When we arrived we witnessed a large group of vampires opposing us and siding with the Cullen’s over us the keeper of the laws that keep us safe. If that was not enough of an insult the Cullen’s had overgrown pet dogs in huge packs, we the Volturi were outmatched and humiliated. Now their crime turned out to be a mistake due to false witness, but on the way home Master Aro was most displeased so he began an experiment trying to develop a weapon against those who would oppose the Volturi.” I Listened and was shocked that such a thing could happen. I examined the dagger in Felix’s hand “this dagger is useless Sarah, it is not enough to penetrate our skin alone, but the poison on the weapon is, once the poison touches the skin of a vampire it seeps into the skin pores.” I was shocked there was a poison out there that could affect us. I couldn’t believe it. I had asked Felix what the poison was, but the only thing he told me was that it was something Aro had developed using other ingredients of poison. “What are the affects of the poison” I asked Felix curiously. He shook his head, “when we first discovered the poison we tried it on a newborn we turned for experimentation, the poison wore off after a few days, due to the vampire venom but afterward we increased the dosage and when we found the right amount, well there was nothing anyone can do.Sarah and it will weaken you, and it will burn, nothing as bad as the transformation but it will burn, some of the effects of the poison is you can drink and drink blood all you want, but you will never be satisfied you will literally starve until you’re at the point where you’re too weak to move.” I found this entire situation rather intense. Experimentation’s and poisons, but then I realized something “so basically you just upped the dose on the poison to where the vampire’s venom is not enough… but would injecting more vampire venom make an antidote.” I asked Felix, he looked at me surprised, “no one knows Sarah, the thing is taking in the venom of another vampire would be extremely painful, but using the venom of another vampire to help your venom burn off the poison is an interesting idea Sarah.” Felix had spoken. I looked around nervously and watched as Felix placed the dagger in a small sheath and I asked him why he had brought me here. Felix held out the sheathed dagger and told me in these words “This is a wedding present from me to you, if you’re ever in danger I want you to use it.” I looked at him “thank you Felix for this interesting gift if you excuse me now, I must go and prepare, the wedding is in a few hours. I had taken the sheathed dagger and walked back to my bedroom where my wedding dress was on a stand on a mannequin, the dress was beautiful and elegant, Sulpicia and Athenodora picked it out naturally. I walked to the table and placed Felix’s gift on the desk and went back to the dress. I was about to get ready when Sulpicia and Athenodora walked into the room. “Did you really think we would allow you to get ready on your own?” Athenodora asked, Sulpicia came to me and started to pull my clothing off I had known better than to object, “we have many important guest coming for the wedding for you to look less than perfect would shame us.” Sulpicia had spoken and I said nothing. Instead I just stood there in my delicates and with the queens help I was placed in the wedding dress. It had taken many hours to prepare me and get me perfect. The queens and I had left the castle with Corin, Felix and Jane as our guards. We all arrived at the cathedral and went into a small waiting room to wait. Felix watched me with strange eyes and I looked at him for a moment, it was almost time for the wedding and knocks on the door could be heard. I looked at the door as it opened and saw Marcus walking in he was dressed in a black tux and he seemed to be thrilled “what are you doing it’s bad luck to see the bride before the wedding” I had spoken curiously, Marcus ignored me he came towards me and kissed me passionately “you look beautiful pet… I cannot wait to see you say the words I do” he spoke. I placed my hands over Marcus' eyes “neither can I Marcus” I spoke and I was pulling him off me, “but we must follow traditions… you have waited five years, a little longer will not kill you, but if you stay you may curse us with bad luck. Felix please escort Marcus out.” Marcus had let go of me once I had spoken he nodded and left the room and I looked back at Corin, Jane and the queens. The bells went off signaling it was mid-day and the music started that only meant one thing. It was time for the wedding to start. I walked out to the halls, Jane was standing first with rose petals in a basket she was the flower girl, while Chelsea, Corin, Heidi and Athenodora were bridesmaids, Sulpicia was my maid of honor. The music that was playing was Pachelbel's Canon in D major, the doors opened and I watched as Jane walked down the aisle, she looked reluctant to be the flower girl and then I thought it must suck stuck as a 13 year old forever. Eventually the bridesmaids went down and I walked down the aisle alone, as I walked slowly I could see the faces of the many guards from the Volturi and the faces of those I did not know, I soon returned to looking straight ahead and saw Marcus standing there with Aro as his best man. I eventually made it down the aisle and stood there looking a the minister and listening to him babble on about spending the rest of their lives together until death due us part. I agreed and said the vows Sulpicia had written for me, most of the vows were just about being loyal and obedient. Eventually I sealed my future away by saying those words “I do”. With that we were announced husband and wife, did I feel joy?… no... I felt nothing, I thought I loved Marcus and for a while I felt feelings for him, but over the last five years… I am feeling very little if anything that is real I am just going with the motions and doing what I am told to do, things are less difficult that way. We returned to the castle with a select few of the guest the wedding reception was very dull, at least to me everyone seemed to have fun. Marcus of course was thrilled, he asked me to sing for them and so I did, I sung a song for Marcus and saw life in his eyes…. I often wonder how it is that he has the ability to see love in relationships and not see that there is none between us… at least on my half. Perhaps he is in denial. Eventually the party ended and Marcus carried me into his bedroom… our bedroom and he began to undress me slowly and he did the same. he had moved me onto his bed and climbed on top of me... we had sex, and I was faking it, it was horrible… or maybe it was just me, I'm not sure. It's not like I can compare it to any other time, I don’t have memories of anything before the Volturi… I wonder if this was my first time? I decided to give him a wedding present by boosting his ego “you were magnificent Marcus, thank you for making me a women” In truth being with Marcus that way made me felt dirty and saying those words were embarrassing, and made me really want to have a long long shower and scrub every inch of myself. I suppose I have to get used to this, I am the wife of Marcus a queen of the Volturi now… I live only to satisfy his needs. As the old saying goes; behind every man had to be a great woman. I suppose I should be thankful that the saying isn’t the other way around. I must be off now Sulpicia and Athenodora will be here soon. ~Sarah Topic: I repent; repent for the sins I have committed
Date: March, 29th, 2010 Dear diary, How did it come to this, how is it I ended up in this dark dark cellar under guard, of some of the Voltaire’s toughest. I was once a strong and powerful vampire… no I was more than a vampire I was a woman, but now I am just a shell of the woman I used to be, I am weak and torn suffering from a burning agony that consumed me, it has been six months since my last entry, at least I think it has been six months… I have lost track of time, to the point I no longer know if it’s day or night… I have forgotten the scent of the air when it’s night, forgotten the bright lights from the endless stars that hung in the air. I have forgotten what it was like to look into that beautiful blue moon and contemplate on life and it’s never ending mysteries. I think it has been six months since my last feed, since I tasted the warm thick liquid that danced in my throat as I ripped apart a human and drank all their sweet delicious blood. I miss the relief blood brought to sooth the burning thirst, but I have suffered and still am. That was a part of my sentence for the crime I had committed. Even now this entry is recorded not in my diary, but within the walls of my own mind, that is on the verge of insanity. The burning never ends and with each day my physical and mental strength leaves me, oh heavens above the burning will not leave me it only grows with each and passing day and I am only becoming weaker. I am now just a shell, but soon I shall be a broken shell beyond saving. It all started six months ago. I was in the throne room of the Volturi, playing with Toby he was still hesitant and afraid, he didn’t speak, but he was starting to trust me, I knew he was. I was not alone in the great hall, the kings were on their thrones Sulpicia and Athenodora were with them standing behind their men, watching us play. I looked at the wives, we didn’t get along to say the least, needless to say I loathed them for their immorality and the fact they were apathetic to their emotions proved they were sociopaths with no soul or conscious. I played with Toby and watched with curiosity as Jane walked up to both the queens and they whispered amongst themselves, and the three of them left the room together. I remembered thinking that was not a good sign when three evil bitches get together like that it’s either going to involve gossiping or something even worse, they were plotting, at the time I wasn’t worried about them much, I remember thinking how much plotting could a dwarf and two bitches with brooms shoved up their arse do. Felix, Marcus and I eventually went to town; Heidi was kind enough to take care of Toby while we were gone. The shopping trip was entertaining and I enjoyed myself a great deal, I was buying children's toys for Toby trying to buy him things that would keep him busy while I had lessons with Felix or the hags. The trip was cut short when I saw Heidi walking down the streets. I was concerned and went to Heidi “Heidi what are you doing here.” I asked her in a hushed whisper, Heidi looked at me “Jane told me that you had changed your mind and wanted me to come with you.” I looked at Heidi in horror “and you believed her.” I pushed Heidi aside and started to run back to the tower, I wanted to get back to the tower, but knew I was near humans, I had to pace myself and not go at inhumane speed. I ran what could have been compared to that of a turtle, humans are so freaking slow. Marcus and Felix were right behind me we had arrived to the tower and I ran towards my room passing Jane in the hall way, I glanced at her and looked forward desperate to get to my bedroom, I kept on begging in my head “please let him be asleep please let him be asleep” those thoughts were in my head, when I opened the door my eyes widen with true horror when I saw him, my little Toby hanging by a noose from the ceiling, his skin was pale “TOBY” I screamed in horror and I ran to his legs and lifted them, Marcus and Felix came in the room “GET HIM DOWN” I yelled, I continued to hold him up. Felix came and removed the rope from his small neck and I lowered onto my knees holding Toby in my arms, I held him tight “come on Toby breathe, breathe just breathe Toby.” I pleaded with him cradling the small human child, but he wouldn’t move, his eyes were closed. I stroked his hair cradling him, he was so fragile and his skin so pale, I looked at his neck to see a bite mark, a bite mark that would come from a vampire’s bite. Toby’s blood, all of it was drained, there was no pulse, no heart beat… no life. I hugged Toby in and wept cradling his lifeless body. I closed my eyes and thought this was just some cruel horrible day dream, but I knew better this was reality. Marcus came and tried to comfort me, “it’s alright my love, we can go out and get you a new pet, I promise.” Marcus spoke; he did not understand this at all, because he could not see how precious life was. I shrugged Marcus away and continued to hug Toby tearlessly weeping and cradling the body; my heart was breaking with each and passing moment. Heidi and Felix were silent as they watched me. I opened my crimson red eyes and looked at Toby, I thought about his life with us and I realized he had never stood a chance I failed him. “Jane…your dead.” I lowered Toby’s body and stroked his hair one last time I leaned in to kiss his cheek and whispered “I’m sorry Toby forgive me.” I whispered into his ear. I stood up and turned my back on Toby, I would see to it justice was served, for as long as I could remember Jane and I have been at war, it’s time for the war to come at an end there will be no more casualties, not if I could help it. I looked at Marcus, Felix and Heidi and some how Marcus knew what I was going to do, maybe he saw it in my eyes, he could see the killer intent I now had “Heidi warn Jane, Felix stop her.” Heidi bolted out of the room and Felix stepped in front of the door way. I turned from Marcus and walked to the doorway “Felix… first and last warning; get out of my way.” I spoke my voice was apathetic, I was numb to the world. Felix said nothing and continued to block my path. I threw a punch towards Felix’s head, but that punch was not my real attack it was only a feint, my real attack was a sneak punch to his stomach with my other hand. Felix caught both fists and held my wrists “I taught you that move Sarah, it wont work.” A surge of anger came on my face, my best friend was stopping me, blocking my path, Felix could see my anger. I Grabbed Felix’s wrist so we were in a monkey grip and applied my newborn strength I tightened my grip on Felix’s wrist, he was no longer my ally, he was an enemy now and he was standing in my way. I would not allow that. I started to push Felix back into the long hallway and I moved my leg up to try and knee Felix in the gut, the attack was successful and his grip loosened and I let go of his wrist to throw a double open palm punch to the stomach knocking Felix into the wall, he was down and out of my way and I walked down the hallway in a daze, I knew Marcus was standing behind me as I walked away, Felix eventually stood up and ran past me he blocked my path again. Felix stood there blocking my path way, I stopped “Sarah this is your last chance calm down or I will take you down by force.” He threatened, I couldn’t bother to waste my precious rage on Felix, I had bigger fish to fry and her name was Jane. “I have nothing left to loose, I refuse to give up.” I spoke emotionless, Marcus pleaded with me, but I had no words to say to him at the moment, Felix ran ran towards me as he moved in to deliver a strike to my face I stepped slightly to the side and spun around so my shoulder would not connect to Felix body, as I finished spinning I delivered a kick to Felix, but he blocked it. I used an open palm punch Felix in the face knocking him back, I wouldn’t allow Felix the chance to stop me again and as he came in close to throw a punch I had grabbed his wrist with my free hand and delivered an open palm uppercut to send Felix flying through a wall “this is my revenge, no one can stop me from seeking the justice” I spoke as I walked past Felix and continued on. I didn’t care that I was as cold and emotionless as those whom I loathed, all I wanted was to kill Jane I wanted to rip her limb from limb No I decided that would be too quick, Jane’s death should be slow, very slow and very very painful. I Decided I would tackle the bitch and I would pluck out her eyes and squash them like eggs, I would pull out her tongue and knock out all of her teeth, then I would pull pull off her fingers and toes slowly just to hear her muffled screams of agony before I pulled off her limbs and finally I would grab her pale brown hair and pull the bitches hair out before removing her fucking head. Oh yes I had Jane’s death all planned out and as I walked towards her Felix stood up and ran towards me from behind he grabbed my shoulder “Sarah stop please just listen to me.” I stopped and grabbed Felix's hand and I tossed him over me. He hit the ground and I stomped on his chest hard, I ignored the gasp in his voice, I think some part of me deep down hated hurting Felix, but I just couldn’t care. I stepped over him and walked off. Marcus followed after me asking me to calm down, I said nothing and saw Jane leaning on a wall with Heidi speaking to her. Heidi looked afraid. While Jane looked calm like she did nothing wrong, Jane looked at me and I ran towards her I suddenly found myself on the ground in agony. “You think you would learn by now Sarah, I am above you, you cannot harm me.” She spoke in that fake sweet tone, the bitch infuriated me I felt every inch of agony I whimpered out in pain and I thought of Toby, poor sweet innocent Toby whose life was stolen, I wondered did he suffer before Jane killed him. I looked at Jane and pushed myself up “yeah well you know the old saying, you can’t keep a good bitch down.” I spoke emotionless and ran to Jane to tackle her. I punched Jane in the face over and over breaking her line of sight. Marcus arrived and yelled at Heidi to get Alec and she bolted in a flash, oh I knew what Marcus was up to he was going to use Alec to take me down to try and cut my revenge short. I continued to bash Jane in the face and she laughed as her face started to crack and venom fell down her nose Jane was just laughing like it was nothing “hey Sarah did you know what that human’s last words were before I killed him.” I paused my fist was back ready to punch her, a part of me wanted to know, the other part didn’t want to know. “he was crying for his mommy… his real mommy.” I resumed punching her I wanted to get all the hurt out, of me, but I couldn’t cry because I was a stupid vampire. So I settled on punching Jane over and over ignoring her cackle like laugh I kept punching her over and over. Felix came and lifted me off Jane he had me in a bear hug, Alec and Heidi came and I looked at Jane’s badly beaten face that was already starting to heal. She sat up “poor little happy meal trying to replace that what you lost.” She spoke so smugly, my eyes widened, Marcus yelled Alec’s name “wait what do” I couldn’t finish, everything had gone white as Alec used his gift to tame me. When I came to, I had kept my crimson eyes closed as I heard an argument going on between the Volturi Kings. “She has attacked us too many times lets kill her.” The voice was cold and calculating naturally it belonged to Caius, “She is my mate I will not loose her, Jane has provoked her she deserved what was coming to her.” Marcus fought on my behalf. “What you said is true Marcus she is your mate and therefore destined to be a queen, like myself, but you have spoiled her like a child giving her everything she desires she believes she is above the law and that puts us all at risk. She is arrogant and refuses to listen… death is too extreme, she must be punished.” Sulpicia spoke her voice was cold and unforgiving. It was Aro who then spoke “and what do you propose we do with Sarah, Sulpicia”, I found myself curious what would they do to me. I guess death was out of the picture and I was disappointed. “Since Sarah act’s like a spoiled child we must treat her like one, we lock her under lock and key with guards, she will not feed and will not leave her cell until she repents for her sins.” She spoke with bitterness. Marcus spoke telling them all it was too extreme of a punishment. I opened my eyes and looked up at them, Marcus saw me and he stood up and walked to me, and stroked my cheek I looked to the side to see Jane standing there smug and behind her were Athenodora and Sulpicia. “Sarah my love you must repent, tell Jane you’re sorry.” Marcus asked me. I looked at Marcus and “I am sorry Marcus, I truly am.” I spoke softly, I could see Marcus' face for a moment it was frozen and then he smiled. I looked at Aro he seemed relieved “I am sorry I didn’t finish her off.” Aro’s smile vanish “in that case I am afraid I have no choice, but to go with Sulpicia’s suggestion. Sarah in the interest of your own safety I have no choice, but to sentence you solitary confinement you will starve and have no contact from anyone at all until you repent for your crime against the Volturi.” Aro spoke, I looked down and heard Aro ordering Felix to take me away. Felix had carried me far off to a part of the castle that looked unfamiliar it was dark and dirty, Alec opened the door while Felix placed me inside. He lowered me onto the ground and stepped out of the room and closed the door, I did not know how long it was until my thirst became an issue was it hours, days, months I don’t know, when you are continuously in a dark room with nothing in it, no light at all and nothing to keep me busy it became extremely difficult just to function, I would replay what few memories I had in my head, remembering my time with Marcus and Felix on that trip in Australia. I would remember the time Felix and I spoke together on top of the tower, and Toby poor sweet Toby I remembered our time together and regretted how short our time was together. Then there was the most recent memory beating the crap out of Jane, I loathed her, but her words confused me at the end what did she mean by “poor little happy meal trying to replace that what you lost” what did I loose I didn’t understand, I spent a great deal of time pondering that statement, and eventually my thirst reared it’s ugly head burning my throat, leaving me to suffer in agony. The burning just well there is no words for the pain. I couldn’t believe how much it hurt, and over time through the endless hours of darkness I began to weaken slowly, but surely I weakened. Then one day the door opened, I thought it was Marcus finally coming to rescue me, I was wrong. Sulpicia and Athenodora entered the room it was the first time anyone came to visit me in this cell. Sulpicia closed the door behind her, she walked over to me to stand beside Athenodora. Sulpicia had this look on her face a look that screamed victory. “see where your unruly behavior has lead you Sarah, right in a dungeon and all this time without someone to drink, you must be suffering now all this time.” She spoke her voice was full of her own arrogance, I asked the two bitches how long has it been since I was locked up. Their answer was bullshit in my personal opinion “hours, days maybe months” those ruthless sperm dumpsters wouldn’t give me an exact answer, they were just toying with me those bitches. “Such a shame about the death of your human, it makes us wonder you know.” I looked at them with exhaustion “wonder what” I asked them emotionless. “How such a simpleton like Jane ever thought of something so wonderful as in killing your pet in such a fashion.” My eyes widened, as I realized what they meant the pieces had come together, on that very day this was what the three of them were plotting, they were plotting the death of Toby, Athenodora spoke “looks like she finally figured it out.” She sounded pleased with herself. I tried to get up, but Sulpicia pushed me down, “you made fools of us and your unruly behavior is unbecoming of a queen, we did this for the good of the kingdom and your safety. You need to learn, in order to be a queen you must kill your emotions and be obedient to your master’s will, for his word is law.” Sulpicia spoke with certainty she believed every word of it, “I don’t care… the three of us know I won’t be in here forever, so I will say this to you now, when I get out of here watch your backs, because I promise I will kill you both, your days are numbered bitches.” I spoke my voice was weaker than normal. Athenodora laughed and she slapped me across the face before they both left me there to rot away, since then I haven’t seen anyone… I have no idea how long ago that was, maybe a few days or months… I just don’t know, but through all this time suffering and agony I realized that the sperm dumpster queens were right, emotions are useless, in order for me to survive this world, I must kill my emotions and value nothing, treasure nothing… for I have nothing left to treasure. Now that I understood this I sniffed the air and smelled Felix’s scent outside my room “Felix… Felix” I spoke weakly, no one responded “get me out, I am ready to repent” The door opened and I saw the bright light, I covered my eyes not used to the light an saw a shadow walking in. ~Sarah Topic: Is this really who I used to be, why doesn't this feel familiar?
Date: September 26th, 2009 Dear Diary Well It’s a month since my last entry, I have been so busy you will not believe it Marcus has been keeping me so busy & Felix with the lessons on how to defend myself I am getting really good at it, of course there is little Toby too, he is still recovering, but little by little he is getting comfortable, he is naturally attached to me that little scamp, in my free time I have been reading my old diary, I gave it to Marcus before my memory loss apparently. So I decided to rewrite this one entry, just to show you, but you will not believe this my writing…its so unlike me it’s almost as if I didn’t write it, but then if I didn’t write it than who did right? Dear Diary I was given a second chance today, today I was saved by a man. A man so sophisticated and educated, a man whom appreciates the fine arts now how was it I was saved, what put me in danger, well I am so reckless I went around the streets in volterra, I can’t help it I am such a curious woman I just wanted to see the sites, so I went out exploring and I must admit everything is so beautiful and well established, I was walking down the streets a quarter after ten and i was afraid, i felt this shadow watching me stalking me, i would watch over my shoulder haunting me it was frightening, i could feel my heart pound against my chest and i looked foward and pretended not to be afraid of the shadow that was stalking me, instead i walked along the street and heard a glass bottle roll over the floor, i stopped and looked around scared and saw no one was there, but i wasn't alone i could feel it the eyes of the devil himself watching me, preying on my vulnerabilities. enjoying the terror that i felt coursing through my body after looking around to make sure i didn't miss anything i turned and ran forward, I was running, but in a flash a hand stuck out from the alley i was running past and pulled me in, I screamed out and whimpered as i was thrown into a wall I looked at the shadow for the first time and i could see true evil, a force of evil that was haunting me this evening. I looked at the blood red eyes of this demon, he hissed at me and leaned in to lick my neck, i screamed out and he placed his ice cold hand over my mouth and he whispered into my ear "say one more word and i shall kill you oh and i promise you whore it will be a painful death you will burn for agony and you will scream for death i promise you this, so if you wish for a painful death go ahead bitch scream for me... in fact i want to hear you scream, i want to hear you beg for your pathetic life" the man spoke to me, i looked at this man and his beautiful ice cold skin it was dark, and exotic. i closed my eyes and wondered what he would do to me, the pain that awaited. one of my worst fears in this situation came true, the man ripped my blouse open and pulled off my bra and i whimpered afraid and begged quietly for the man to leave me be, I opened my eyes and watched that sinister man touch my breast and it felt like ice was all over me he had the touch of death the touch of ice cold death, thats the words that stuck in my head, because i knew it was true, how else could i explain it that this man who's touch was like ice was touching me and tormenting me, he was going to take the thing that i valued most, my virtue, I don't want my first time to be with a demon in an alley, I want it to be somewhere romantic, with my husband a man who would be smart, dedicated, a man with pride a man who would treasure me and spoil me, he would worship me and give me his heart desire. I closed my eyes and he leaned in and licked my neck, his knee was between my legs as he groaned and continued to toy with my breast and i cried, and continued his sick and twisted pleasure he pulled back and looked at me "alright whore, it's time for foreplay to end." he spoke out and chuckled darkly the man's hand traveled down to that lower reigian, and he pulled down my underwear and unzipped his pants, i called out for hope hoping that i would have a knight in shining armor come save me and at that moments my prayers were answered, a man with pale skin and milky red eyes came and threw the beast off me he went flying as he crashed into the other wall he was up in a flash and he looked at my savior "Marcus you ancient bastard you dare interupt my fun i am not pleased" the exotic man spoke My hero looked at my attacker with killer intent "brian jacobson scourge of our world, have you no shame attacking this beautiful woman trying to taint her beauty and innocence with your filth" the exotic vampire snarled at my hero, and looked at me, i was so afraid when he looked at me, i fell over and cowered in fear, two others joined my hero ariving in a blur one of them was a teenage boy and the other was a brute of a man so muscular and built like a statue. i closed my eyes and heard the voice of my attacker " she is my toy, my possession she belongs to me, marcus you are out of line" he snarled, my hero's name is marcus a wonderful name, "brian you forget, i am one of the three kings, i am the law nothing is out of line for me everything is permitted and this beautiful woman will not be violated by you or anyone i forbid it" marcus sounded like he meant it and brian hissed out in anger, "futher more brian jacobson you are no longer welcome in italy you have 12 hours to vacate safely after those twelve hours you will be killed on sight within italy do i make myself clear." he spoke with authority brian hissed something and the giant man with marcus stepped in front of marcus as if to protect him Brian just muttered something and the big brute hissed at Brian. It was then Brian looked at me "I will make you mine, one of these days I will return and i will reclaim you dead or alive this much i promise you." his voice was cold and emotionless and I knew he meant it. He left in a blur and i could see that Marcus had made a fist out of anger. Marcus turned to face me and his fist vanished, he removed his long black cloak and covered my exposed body, "there there, he will not harm you i promise." Marcus Spoke as he looked at me, i just looked away from him, how could I look at the man who had saved me, when i was exposed. I felt filthy totally and utterly dirty, i just wanted to have a long long shower, I could hear Marcus speak "Alec, knock her out...Felix keep a look out for Brian." Before i could even move my head, everything had gone white There was no feeling, no touching, no seeing or taste no hearing, There was no dreams so i knew i wasn't asleep, I imagined death was something of this sort of experience, I existed in a white void of nothingness. Slowly however everything returned and when my sight returned i found myself in a beautiful bedroom and tucked into a beautiful bed, i checked under the blankets to see i was wearing a night gown, it wasn't ;ong til Marcus returned with the teenager and the big brute I hid my head under the blankets only to hear a chuckle of laughter. The laughter I heard was so enchanting, I peeked from my blanket to see it was Marcus laughing, i smiled shyly and the people with marcus just smiled. "you are such an amusing lady Sarah Frost." I sat up surprised "How did you know my name" I asked Marcus stood there and moved both hands behind his back, i noticed how elegant he looked, he walked a few steps towards the bed and stopped "I have a brother, he is very talented, with one small touch he can see every thought you have ever had. Aro that brother of mine is very curious, he is like a child in some ways...once he saw your thoughts he told me everything." I felt like i had been violated in some way, to have my inner most thoughts and secrets exposed by force it wasn't right. i didn’t know what to say to marcus at that moment, heck i don't even know if he was human he didn't look it he was pale and his eyes it was that exact moment i noticed his eyes they were just like brians. "your eyes" i spoke out quietly he walked another step closer and i flinched from fear marcus looked back at the teenage boy and then back to me "sarah my pet you may have noticed that my associates and i are not exactly normal if you give me the chance to explain i promise you it will change your life forever sarah, for the better. i asked him " if i hear your story am i free to leave once you finished" marcus looked to the brute "if you wish to leave i will permit it" he answered modestly. so i told marcus to start his story and he told me the impossible, marcus and his associates were vampires and marcus himself was not only five thousand years old, but he was one of three vampire kings he told me the highlights of his immortal life as a vampire king and his recent exploits chasing a rouge vampire that vampire was brian jacobson he was a former associate who helped marcus's kingdom ( though they call themselves the volturi ) brian had disobeyed marcus, but because of a technicality brian did not break the law so he couldn’t be punished . when i asked marcus of the laws of the vampires he told me he would explain later, marcus introduced his two associates to me, the brute was named felix while the teenager was named alec. i remember feeling afraid of felix he was like a goliath and i well...i was a little woman. i introduced myself to the two even though marcus or his brother must have surely informed them about who i was they nodded and i removed the blanket that was over my body and climbed out of the surprisingly comfortable bed, i explained to them "marcus i have kept my end of the deal and heard you out, but i am going home now, i need to have a long long shower" marcus then suprised me " i am afraid i cannot permit you to leave sarah" I was shocked, "what, but you told me that if i listened to your story you would let me go home" marcus shook his head "i told you i would permit you to leave, i did not mention you could leave the grounds of our estate." I was outraged at marcus he deceived me, i felt trapped i had no option but to listen as marcus continued " Sarah i will be honest with you, i am attracted to you your my La Tua Cantante everything about you draws me in you are my world and if you only gave me the chance to court you and protect you i promise you wouldn't regret it i can make you happy i know you can be happy with me...please Sarah give me that chance" i looked at marcus not just his fragile yet attractive physique, but i looked at his misty red eyes and saw vulnerability and sincerity. i knew he meant it and for some reason i just said "your words their sincere I can see that you mean it marcus, but i am not sure im ready for a relationship let alone one with a vampire whom is refusing to let me go home" before i continued marcus interupted me, "but sarah my pet this s your home i can give you everything you need" i raised my hand "marcus let me finish, i cant love you, we know nothing about each other...well you know everything about me, but i have no idea who you are...how about we start off as friends" i gave marcus that offer and he graciously accepted the offer . i will admit this whole thing felt uncomfortable, but at the same time it felt oddly comfortable to be with marcus he is such a lovely man unlike that uncouth brian jacobson brian i will never forgive brian the monstrous fiend. marcus explained the laws of the vampires and the reason behind it and he explained my options death or immortality and it may seem like an easy choice, but it's not to grow old you gain wisdom that only the elderly have gained, and then there is the alternative to live forever as marcus's companion to be his mate i know he would love me, respect me and give me my hearts desire he would treat me the way a woman deserves to be treated an animal like that brian jacobson would only violate me over and over until he discards me like trash at least marcus gave me some sort of choice death or immortality with him. Those are the laws he as one of the three kings must enforce. Well i think i might spend some more time with marcus, get to know him ~ Sarah So there you have it thats one of my entries from the diary i gave marcus, but to tell the truth something seems a bit off, i don't connect to those words i mean felix told me before i lost my memory i was strong and defiant, yet in that entry i was submissive and weak it just doesn’t make sense to me i feel that those words that have been written are not my own, but the question i now ask myself is if those words are not my own then who's words are they and why did marcus tell me that these words are mine? i just don’t understand...maybe i am just being paranoid anyway i am going to go hang out with toby and play with the little one ~Sarah Topic: Why is it whenever I need answers I get more questions? date: August 26, 2009 Dear diary, how do I begin to describe last night? Ok from the start, right after my last entry I decided against getting dressed instead I looked at little Toby, I wondered what the verdict of his life was to be, a snack or a pet. I also wondered who the child's voice was, the one that called me momma, I wondered if I would hear it again. Just between us I hope I do hear it again, I really do hope that I get to hear it. I am so in love with that voice it sounds heavenly like music to my ears. As I continued to have thoughts about the voice I decided I would try and ask Marcus about it, but I had to make sure I was away from Aro the nosy one. I watched Toby as he grumbled in his sleep. I sneaked out of my room and went to Chelsea's bedroom to find it was empty I was surprised at it being empty, but figured she probably went out ahead of me. I left her empty room and walked slowly towards the throne room with what felt like butterflies in my stomach I was nervous about everything I decided to take a few moments to compose myself. I mean Caius would be there and that jerk would be picking at me like kid picking his boogers... ok that's a revolting image in my head, but in all fairness Caius is revolting so it sort of balances itself out. I walked towards the wall and leaned against it. I closed my eyes and told myself to calm down, and decided the best way to get collected and have a calm state of mind was to drown everything out with silence to concentrate all on the silence. I closed my crimson red eyes and breathed slowly and deeply sucking in air that was completely unnecessary and exhaling it I concentrated on the silence around me listening to the nothingness and continued then I heard something faint "very well I shall put this issue aside Aro, but if she breaks the law she will be killed, Marcus' mate or not." the voice had belonged to Caius and as usual he seemed pissed, but the conversation that I heard had me confused I decided to try and listen in to see if I could hear anything else "excellent excellent I am very pleased that we could settle the matter and curious to see Sarah's reaction. That newborn is an interesting creature full of surprises she is. I am very curious to see how she will handle this. Anyway enough of her let us press to more important matters the project we are working on have you had any more ideas on how to improve the effectiveness of the ..." before I could catch the rest of what Aro spoke I felt someone touch my shoulder. I jumped up in shock and turned around to see it was Marcus. Felix would have been so ashamed of me to see me let my guard down. He is right I am very sloppy lately and that is unacceptable I made a note to work harder in future "did I startle you my love" Marcus asked me. I nodded my head "yes you did Marcus, but your the kind of surprise I like" I answered him and leaned in to kiss his lips, he chuckled as I pulled back "but I think it would be a good idea to get a bell and put it around your neck just so I know where you are" Marcus broke into a soft laughter and wrapped his hands around me "Sarah my love what are you doing here your meant to be in the throne room to hear the verdict on the pet" he spoke out his voice was soft like silk and I bit on my bottom lip "I am nervous on the verdict so I thought I would take a moment to compose myself before facing Caius and Aro, what about you Marcus I thought you would be in the throne room with the others for the verdict." I asked him. I thought about asking Marcus about this project I had just heard them talk about, but I thought it was best to ask in a subtle way so he did not think I was listening in. Marcus' misty red eyes looked liked they sparkled with excitement "I was preparing for our date" I smiled and for the first time noticed Marcus' attire. He wore a black business suit with a white undershirt and a black tie the tie however was crooked, other than that he was very formal I straightened his tie out "someone is eager, our date is not till tonight you're a few hours too soon Marcus" my voice chimed with joy "well Sarah my love. Why not go on the date after our little meeting in regards to that child" Marcus' voice spoke soft as silk velvet, he had leaned in as he spoke and I could smell his sweet breath "oh I would love to my love, but I'm afraid I have prior arrangements" I told him seductively "oh" Marcus' let out curiously, the king seemed surprised that I had plans "what are you doing" that silk velvet voice asked curiously "you know curiosity killed the cat" I replied playfully. Marcus' had this smile on his face and a sparkle in his eyes so full of life " good thing I am a vampire king and not a cat so it's safe to tell me what you are plotting in that devious mind of yours." I giggled "why is it people always think I'm plotting something I'm a good girl honest" I defended myself in a playful voice, I could hear Marcus scoff at me and I poked out my tongue at him and Marcus leaned in to kiss me he slipped in his tongue and it felt weird for a moment. I pulled back after a moment "to answer your question I am going out with Chelsea we are going shopping so yeah its just going to be Chelsea, Felix and myself. " Marcus' face changed from joy to concern "I am sorry baby girl , but Felix is busy with the pro...uh I mean Felix is busy why not take Heidi she loves shopping. I am sure she would appreciate the time out" I had only half heard Marcus, see something happened something strange when Marcus called me baby girl there was another voice and that voice was deeper more alluring and seductive. That voice called me baby girl too at the same time. First its the voice of a child calling me momma and now its the voice of a man calling me baby girl. Diary you're going to think I am crazy, because I already think I am crazy but I am sure that voice, well both voices are a part of my past. Marcus was beginning to look at me strangely and I snapped out of the thoughts and pushed the voice aside. I focused on Marcus and the realization that Felix had some part in this secret project "oh" was all I could bring myself to answer. I should have pressed on to the topic of the project, but I could not bring myself to do it instead I excused myself and told Marcus we had to go to the verdict of the child. Marcus asked if I was ok that I was different suddenly and I forced myself to smile to hide my troubled expression. "I am totally fine just excited about the verdict now... I am getting a good feeling about this" I lied, Marcus smiled "alright Sarah let us go and see the verdict." he grabbed my hand and gave a tug, I walked with Marcus, did I feel at ease, no. So many things were troubling me and I wondered if by asking to keep Toby had I bitten off more than I could chew, could I cope with all these lessons I am going through, raising a child and now to keep my distance from Aro so he doesn't know these new and unsettling thoughts of a child calling out to me, and a mystery voice calling me baby girl. We made it to the throne room and Marcus stood by my side and had his hand around me, Chelsea, Felix, Alec and Jane stood at the side while Renata stood behind Aro as he sat on the throne. I haven’t spent that much time with Renata, but I wouldn't mind getting to know her in the future, she rested her hand on Aro's shoulder, I recalled hearing from Felix that Renata had the ability to protect Aro, she was some sort of shield. He told me during a lesson with him when he lectured me in the importance of long range combat. "Sarah my dear we have most pleasant news for you." Aro spoke, I remained quiet for a moment "How wonderful Aro, I look forward to hearing this good news." I replied innocently. Aro remained seated on his throne, while I looked at Caius for a moment he seemed pissed like someone who was constipated, I quickly returned my glances to Aro "Sarah we have decided to allow you to keep this pet of your's on a trial basis. You should understand if you turn the child you shall be punished as the law mandates and there is no exceptions. So if you decide to feed on the child you will finish what you started are you clear." I nodded my head "Perfectly, Aro... Caius, and Marcus of course I humbly thank you for allowing me to keep this child, I vow to do everything in my power to respect your conditions and the law of course." I curtsied and looked to both the brothers while Marcus remained at my side, I could hear Jane scoffing at me while everyone else was quiet "you're all excused, Felix your to stay behind... Jane and Alec fetch our special guest the one who broke the law by exposing himself to a human." The twins left and Chelsea ran to me she grabbed my hand "lets go shopping now, don’t worry I have my hubby watching the pet... come." I smiled and bit on my bottom lip now that I could keep Toby I wanted to be with him all the time, but I made an engagement and it would be rude to break it. Chelsea and I left without saying good bye and she puled out her purse from her jeans pocket, we ran out together and I could hear Marcus yell "Have fun baby girl." I smiled and ran with Chelsea to the lift, we got in, and I found myself on an emotional high, I was high, I got to have a child... a boy named Toby. Chelsea and I left the lair and went shopping, and i ended up buying a beautiful dress very beautiful it was long and white and it was like a ball gown. Chelsea ended up buying a black knee length cocktail dress. I thought she looked good in it, but for some reason I was drawn to the white dress. On the way home Chelsea and I spoke and she asked me a lot of strange questions the two that stood out the most were: Sarah do you miss being able to remember your past? and Sarah have you ever tried to use your gift on yourself? Well of course I missed my past, I wish i could remember how I met that sweetheart Marcus, to know what my life was like as a human, was I a happy human...did i have a dream? I answered Chelsea in the best way I could "well Chelsea I would love to remember my past, I wish I could remember what my life was like, I wish I could remember so many things, and I have used my ability on myself... whenever Jane used to curse me with pain, I used my ability to push myself up... Chelsea when you're inspired you never know what comes over you, what sensations you feel, it's never the same, but the thing is I have always limited myself when I use my own ability because the sensations... it's like I'm on steroids I can literally feel the power coursing through me like adrenaline and if I am not careful I don't know what will happen." I confessed to her that I would never try anything that drastic, my power to inspire enpowered others and it helped me too, but I had no idea what would happen if I went all out. We returned home with the ball gown in the outfit case and I went to Chelsea's room, where I got dressed in it and Chelsea did my hair up. She stepped back when she finished "wow you look amazing" she spoke in awe, I smiled and thanked her, after getting up Chelsea and I went to my bedroom to see the little one was up and sitting in the corner. He was afraid of us and Afton and he had good reason to be after everything he had seen. I went to sit beside the child and he flinched "shhh Toby it's ok I am not going to hurt you, I am going to take care of you." the child quieted down "stay in here with aunty Chelsea and I will be back soon ok, I have one last thing to do today and then I am all free tomorrow I promise I will explain everything... and I will bring you back some nice toys tonight and food I promise" I wondered if the little human could understand just how risky things were "O...ok" he spoke, there was a knock at my door and the kid jumped up a little afraid, Chelsea opened the door and Marcus stepped in "I will be back soon, promise." I told the boy and stood up. Marcus looked at me in awe "sarah... you." he was in awe "yeah I know I look ugly" I spoke with a shy smile. "no never, I was trying to say you look like a lady." my shy smile grew wider "don't get used to it." I told him and he chuckled "I would not have you any other way my dear sweet Sarah." Marcus placed his hand out and I walked to him to take it. I waved to the child as Marcus pulled me out of the room, and while we walked towards the elevator I wondered if they would allow me to call Doctor Phil to help Toby, the thing is if I did get that we would probably have to kill or turn Doctor Phil he has such moral integrity I doubt he would be able to take a bribe or keep this a secret... Doctor Phil, well he is an amazing doctor, but good in small doses. We went up the lift and Macrus held me close, he kept telling me how beautiful I looked and I told him "you're still not hitting a home run, not until our wedding im no harlot" I informed him. Marcus was quiet for a moment and I glared at him. We walked out of the lift and we stopped by one of the guards, to my surprise Marcus told the guard to fetch Toby food and entertainment, I asked marcus why he did it, "I don't like the fact that you're keeping pets, but what I find worse is the thought that you have another duty on your plate, I want to help lighten your load whatever way I can." I gushed a little how could I stay mad at that, that sweetheart. We left the lair and I wondered what sort of date Marcus had planned for us, we walked through town and I noticed that Corin and Santiago were walking close behind us. We walked together when Marcus stopped in front of what looked like a night club "are you serious, we are going to a night club?" I asked Marcus. He nodded "shhh let us enter" he spoke and pulled my hand, it was then that I notice a lot of people seemed to be pulling on me lately. We entered the club, but it was empty which you have to admit is very unusual for a night club. I was curious, how could a night club be empty and why wasn't there any music "I rented out this night club just for you Sarah, we can dance here all night if you want to." Marcus whispered into my ear. I smiled and the music began to start playing, Silly Love Songs by Darren Criss the lights dimmed as the music began and together the two of us danced, and oh my gosh it was so beautiful I don't think I have ever been romanced in this way before. The song ended and so many other love songs were playing and we danced. It was at 11 pm that we left the night club and Marcus and I returned home, instead of going back inside I took him to Felix's tower where he went to be alone and we sat there looking at the beautiful stars. We enjoyed a comfortable silence and Marcus suprised me with a present "I hope you can forgive me for loosing it Sarah, I have so many books. I really need to organize my things, but this is your old diary you gave to me to read so you could show me just how much I mean to you and I must say I never knew you felt emotions this deep for me." I looked at the diary, this book held the truth about my past. I wanted to read it right away, I carefully placed it to the side and I leaned in to kiss Marcus' cheek to thank him. We actually sat up there till sunrise and when I came back to my bedroom little Toby was sleeping, he sleeps a lot for a kid... oh well it cant be helped I think I will leave now and read some of my old diary entries until Toby wakes up then I will get him dressed, feed him and take him on a tour. I may share some of my old diary entries with you, but rest assured diary I wont dwell on the past. Sarah |
InfoSarah Amanda Frost Lived in a world alone and cold where there was no one she could count on or love. After meeting Brian Jacobson that changed she fell in love with him and eventually gave birth to his son Tobias, Sarah now fights in a world of darkness sacrificing herself for the safety of the ones she love. Sarah's Diary is written by Martin. Click here to read first entryArchives
March 2012
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