Topic: I repent; repent for the sins I have committed
Date: March, 29th, 2010 Dear diary, How did it come to this, how is it I ended up in this dark dark cellar under guard, of some of the Voltaire’s toughest. I was once a strong and powerful vampire… no I was more than a vampire I was a woman, but now I am just a shell of the woman I used to be, I am weak and torn suffering from a burning agony that consumed me, it has been six months since my last entry, at least I think it has been six months… I have lost track of time, to the point I no longer know if it’s day or night… I have forgotten the scent of the air when it’s night, forgotten the bright lights from the endless stars that hung in the air. I have forgotten what it was like to look into that beautiful blue moon and contemplate on life and it’s never ending mysteries. I think it has been six months since my last feed, since I tasted the warm thick liquid that danced in my throat as I ripped apart a human and drank all their sweet delicious blood. I miss the relief blood brought to sooth the burning thirst, but I have suffered and still am. That was a part of my sentence for the crime I had committed. Even now this entry is recorded not in my diary, but within the walls of my own mind, that is on the verge of insanity. The burning never ends and with each day my physical and mental strength leaves me, oh heavens above the burning will not leave me it only grows with each and passing day and I am only becoming weaker. I am now just a shell, but soon I shall be a broken shell beyond saving. It all started six months ago. I was in the throne room of the Volturi, playing with Toby he was still hesitant and afraid, he didn’t speak, but he was starting to trust me, I knew he was. I was not alone in the great hall, the kings were on their thrones Sulpicia and Athenodora were with them standing behind their men, watching us play. I looked at the wives, we didn’t get along to say the least, needless to say I loathed them for their immorality and the fact they were apathetic to their emotions proved they were sociopaths with no soul or conscious. I played with Toby and watched with curiosity as Jane walked up to both the queens and they whispered amongst themselves, and the three of them left the room together. I remembered thinking that was not a good sign when three evil bitches get together like that it’s either going to involve gossiping or something even worse, they were plotting, at the time I wasn’t worried about them much, I remember thinking how much plotting could a dwarf and two bitches with brooms shoved up their arse do. Felix, Marcus and I eventually went to town; Heidi was kind enough to take care of Toby while we were gone. The shopping trip was entertaining and I enjoyed myself a great deal, I was buying children's toys for Toby trying to buy him things that would keep him busy while I had lessons with Felix or the hags. The trip was cut short when I saw Heidi walking down the streets. I was concerned and went to Heidi “Heidi what are you doing here.” I asked her in a hushed whisper, Heidi looked at me “Jane told me that you had changed your mind and wanted me to come with you.” I looked at Heidi in horror “and you believed her.” I pushed Heidi aside and started to run back to the tower, I wanted to get back to the tower, but knew I was near humans, I had to pace myself and not go at inhumane speed. I ran what could have been compared to that of a turtle, humans are so freaking slow. Marcus and Felix were right behind me we had arrived to the tower and I ran towards my room passing Jane in the hall way, I glanced at her and looked forward desperate to get to my bedroom, I kept on begging in my head “please let him be asleep please let him be asleep” those thoughts were in my head, when I opened the door my eyes widen with true horror when I saw him, my little Toby hanging by a noose from the ceiling, his skin was pale “TOBY” I screamed in horror and I ran to his legs and lifted them, Marcus and Felix came in the room “GET HIM DOWN” I yelled, I continued to hold him up. Felix came and removed the rope from his small neck and I lowered onto my knees holding Toby in my arms, I held him tight “come on Toby breathe, breathe just breathe Toby.” I pleaded with him cradling the small human child, but he wouldn’t move, his eyes were closed. I stroked his hair cradling him, he was so fragile and his skin so pale, I looked at his neck to see a bite mark, a bite mark that would come from a vampire’s bite. Toby’s blood, all of it was drained, there was no pulse, no heart beat… no life. I hugged Toby in and wept cradling his lifeless body. I closed my eyes and thought this was just some cruel horrible day dream, but I knew better this was reality. Marcus came and tried to comfort me, “it’s alright my love, we can go out and get you a new pet, I promise.” Marcus spoke; he did not understand this at all, because he could not see how precious life was. I shrugged Marcus away and continued to hug Toby tearlessly weeping and cradling the body; my heart was breaking with each and passing moment. Heidi and Felix were silent as they watched me. I opened my crimson red eyes and looked at Toby, I thought about his life with us and I realized he had never stood a chance I failed him. “Jane…your dead.” I lowered Toby’s body and stroked his hair one last time I leaned in to kiss his cheek and whispered “I’m sorry Toby forgive me.” I whispered into his ear. I stood up and turned my back on Toby, I would see to it justice was served, for as long as I could remember Jane and I have been at war, it’s time for the war to come at an end there will be no more casualties, not if I could help it. I looked at Marcus, Felix and Heidi and some how Marcus knew what I was going to do, maybe he saw it in my eyes, he could see the killer intent I now had “Heidi warn Jane, Felix stop her.” Heidi bolted out of the room and Felix stepped in front of the door way. I turned from Marcus and walked to the doorway “Felix… first and last warning; get out of my way.” I spoke my voice was apathetic, I was numb to the world. Felix said nothing and continued to block my path. I threw a punch towards Felix’s head, but that punch was not my real attack it was only a feint, my real attack was a sneak punch to his stomach with my other hand. Felix caught both fists and held my wrists “I taught you that move Sarah, it wont work.” A surge of anger came on my face, my best friend was stopping me, blocking my path, Felix could see my anger. I Grabbed Felix’s wrist so we were in a monkey grip and applied my newborn strength I tightened my grip on Felix’s wrist, he was no longer my ally, he was an enemy now and he was standing in my way. I would not allow that. I started to push Felix back into the long hallway and I moved my leg up to try and knee Felix in the gut, the attack was successful and his grip loosened and I let go of his wrist to throw a double open palm punch to the stomach knocking Felix into the wall, he was down and out of my way and I walked down the hallway in a daze, I knew Marcus was standing behind me as I walked away, Felix eventually stood up and ran past me he blocked my path again. Felix stood there blocking my path way, I stopped “Sarah this is your last chance calm down or I will take you down by force.” He threatened, I couldn’t bother to waste my precious rage on Felix, I had bigger fish to fry and her name was Jane. “I have nothing left to loose, I refuse to give up.” I spoke emotionless, Marcus pleaded with me, but I had no words to say to him at the moment, Felix ran ran towards me as he moved in to deliver a strike to my face I stepped slightly to the side and spun around so my shoulder would not connect to Felix body, as I finished spinning I delivered a kick to Felix, but he blocked it. I used an open palm punch Felix in the face knocking him back, I wouldn’t allow Felix the chance to stop me again and as he came in close to throw a punch I had grabbed his wrist with my free hand and delivered an open palm uppercut to send Felix flying through a wall “this is my revenge, no one can stop me from seeking the justice” I spoke as I walked past Felix and continued on. I didn’t care that I was as cold and emotionless as those whom I loathed, all I wanted was to kill Jane I wanted to rip her limb from limb No I decided that would be too quick, Jane’s death should be slow, very slow and very very painful. I Decided I would tackle the bitch and I would pluck out her eyes and squash them like eggs, I would pull out her tongue and knock out all of her teeth, then I would pull pull off her fingers and toes slowly just to hear her muffled screams of agony before I pulled off her limbs and finally I would grab her pale brown hair and pull the bitches hair out before removing her fucking head. Oh yes I had Jane’s death all planned out and as I walked towards her Felix stood up and ran towards me from behind he grabbed my shoulder “Sarah stop please just listen to me.” I stopped and grabbed Felix's hand and I tossed him over me. He hit the ground and I stomped on his chest hard, I ignored the gasp in his voice, I think some part of me deep down hated hurting Felix, but I just couldn’t care. I stepped over him and walked off. Marcus followed after me asking me to calm down, I said nothing and saw Jane leaning on a wall with Heidi speaking to her. Heidi looked afraid. While Jane looked calm like she did nothing wrong, Jane looked at me and I ran towards her I suddenly found myself on the ground in agony. “You think you would learn by now Sarah, I am above you, you cannot harm me.” She spoke in that fake sweet tone, the bitch infuriated me I felt every inch of agony I whimpered out in pain and I thought of Toby, poor sweet innocent Toby whose life was stolen, I wondered did he suffer before Jane killed him. I looked at Jane and pushed myself up “yeah well you know the old saying, you can’t keep a good bitch down.” I spoke emotionless and ran to Jane to tackle her. I punched Jane in the face over and over breaking her line of sight. Marcus arrived and yelled at Heidi to get Alec and she bolted in a flash, oh I knew what Marcus was up to he was going to use Alec to take me down to try and cut my revenge short. I continued to bash Jane in the face and she laughed as her face started to crack and venom fell down her nose Jane was just laughing like it was nothing “hey Sarah did you know what that human’s last words were before I killed him.” I paused my fist was back ready to punch her, a part of me wanted to know, the other part didn’t want to know. “he was crying for his mommy… his real mommy.” I resumed punching her I wanted to get all the hurt out, of me, but I couldn’t cry because I was a stupid vampire. So I settled on punching Jane over and over ignoring her cackle like laugh I kept punching her over and over. Felix came and lifted me off Jane he had me in a bear hug, Alec and Heidi came and I looked at Jane’s badly beaten face that was already starting to heal. She sat up “poor little happy meal trying to replace that what you lost.” She spoke so smugly, my eyes widened, Marcus yelled Alec’s name “wait what do” I couldn’t finish, everything had gone white as Alec used his gift to tame me. When I came to, I had kept my crimson eyes closed as I heard an argument going on between the Volturi Kings. “She has attacked us too many times lets kill her.” The voice was cold and calculating naturally it belonged to Caius, “She is my mate I will not loose her, Jane has provoked her she deserved what was coming to her.” Marcus fought on my behalf. “What you said is true Marcus she is your mate and therefore destined to be a queen, like myself, but you have spoiled her like a child giving her everything she desires she believes she is above the law and that puts us all at risk. She is arrogant and refuses to listen… death is too extreme, she must be punished.” Sulpicia spoke her voice was cold and unforgiving. It was Aro who then spoke “and what do you propose we do with Sarah, Sulpicia”, I found myself curious what would they do to me. I guess death was out of the picture and I was disappointed. “Since Sarah act’s like a spoiled child we must treat her like one, we lock her under lock and key with guards, she will not feed and will not leave her cell until she repents for her sins.” She spoke with bitterness. Marcus spoke telling them all it was too extreme of a punishment. I opened my eyes and looked up at them, Marcus saw me and he stood up and walked to me, and stroked my cheek I looked to the side to see Jane standing there smug and behind her were Athenodora and Sulpicia. “Sarah my love you must repent, tell Jane you’re sorry.” Marcus asked me. I looked at Marcus and “I am sorry Marcus, I truly am.” I spoke softly, I could see Marcus' face for a moment it was frozen and then he smiled. I looked at Aro he seemed relieved “I am sorry I didn’t finish her off.” Aro’s smile vanish “in that case I am afraid I have no choice, but to go with Sulpicia’s suggestion. Sarah in the interest of your own safety I have no choice, but to sentence you solitary confinement you will starve and have no contact from anyone at all until you repent for your crime against the Volturi.” Aro spoke, I looked down and heard Aro ordering Felix to take me away. Felix had carried me far off to a part of the castle that looked unfamiliar it was dark and dirty, Alec opened the door while Felix placed me inside. He lowered me onto the ground and stepped out of the room and closed the door, I did not know how long it was until my thirst became an issue was it hours, days, months I don’t know, when you are continuously in a dark room with nothing in it, no light at all and nothing to keep me busy it became extremely difficult just to function, I would replay what few memories I had in my head, remembering my time with Marcus and Felix on that trip in Australia. I would remember the time Felix and I spoke together on top of the tower, and Toby poor sweet Toby I remembered our time together and regretted how short our time was together. Then there was the most recent memory beating the crap out of Jane, I loathed her, but her words confused me at the end what did she mean by “poor little happy meal trying to replace that what you lost” what did I loose I didn’t understand, I spent a great deal of time pondering that statement, and eventually my thirst reared it’s ugly head burning my throat, leaving me to suffer in agony. The burning just well there is no words for the pain. I couldn’t believe how much it hurt, and over time through the endless hours of darkness I began to weaken slowly, but surely I weakened. Then one day the door opened, I thought it was Marcus finally coming to rescue me, I was wrong. Sulpicia and Athenodora entered the room it was the first time anyone came to visit me in this cell. Sulpicia closed the door behind her, she walked over to me to stand beside Athenodora. Sulpicia had this look on her face a look that screamed victory. “see where your unruly behavior has lead you Sarah, right in a dungeon and all this time without someone to drink, you must be suffering now all this time.” She spoke her voice was full of her own arrogance, I asked the two bitches how long has it been since I was locked up. Their answer was bullshit in my personal opinion “hours, days maybe months” those ruthless sperm dumpsters wouldn’t give me an exact answer, they were just toying with me those bitches. “Such a shame about the death of your human, it makes us wonder you know.” I looked at them with exhaustion “wonder what” I asked them emotionless. “How such a simpleton like Jane ever thought of something so wonderful as in killing your pet in such a fashion.” My eyes widened, as I realized what they meant the pieces had come together, on that very day this was what the three of them were plotting, they were plotting the death of Toby, Athenodora spoke “looks like she finally figured it out.” She sounded pleased with herself. I tried to get up, but Sulpicia pushed me down, “you made fools of us and your unruly behavior is unbecoming of a queen, we did this for the good of the kingdom and your safety. You need to learn, in order to be a queen you must kill your emotions and be obedient to your master’s will, for his word is law.” Sulpicia spoke with certainty she believed every word of it, “I don’t care… the three of us know I won’t be in here forever, so I will say this to you now, when I get out of here watch your backs, because I promise I will kill you both, your days are numbered bitches.” I spoke my voice was weaker than normal. Athenodora laughed and she slapped me across the face before they both left me there to rot away, since then I haven’t seen anyone… I have no idea how long ago that was, maybe a few days or months… I just don’t know, but through all this time suffering and agony I realized that the sperm dumpster queens were right, emotions are useless, in order for me to survive this world, I must kill my emotions and value nothing, treasure nothing… for I have nothing left to treasure. Now that I understood this I sniffed the air and smelled Felix’s scent outside my room “Felix… Felix” I spoke weakly, no one responded “get me out, I am ready to repent” The door opened and I saw the bright light, I covered my eyes not used to the light an saw a shadow walking in. ~Sarah
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InfoSarah Amanda Frost Lived in a world alone and cold where there was no one she could count on or love. After meeting Brian Jacobson that changed she fell in love with him and eventually gave birth to his son Tobias, Sarah now fights in a world of darkness sacrificing herself for the safety of the ones she love. Sarah's Diary is written by Martin. Click here to read first entryArchives
March 2012
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