Topic: Why is it whenever I need answers I get more questions? date: August 26, 2009 Dear diary, how do I begin to describe last night? Ok from the start, right after my last entry I decided against getting dressed instead I looked at little Toby, I wondered what the verdict of his life was to be, a snack or a pet. I also wondered who the child's voice was, the one that called me momma, I wondered if I would hear it again. Just between us I hope I do hear it again, I really do hope that I get to hear it. I am so in love with that voice it sounds heavenly like music to my ears. As I continued to have thoughts about the voice I decided I would try and ask Marcus about it, but I had to make sure I was away from Aro the nosy one. I watched Toby as he grumbled in his sleep. I sneaked out of my room and went to Chelsea's bedroom to find it was empty I was surprised at it being empty, but figured she probably went out ahead of me. I left her empty room and walked slowly towards the throne room with what felt like butterflies in my stomach I was nervous about everything I decided to take a few moments to compose myself. I mean Caius would be there and that jerk would be picking at me like kid picking his boogers... ok that's a revolting image in my head, but in all fairness Caius is revolting so it sort of balances itself out. I walked towards the wall and leaned against it. I closed my eyes and told myself to calm down, and decided the best way to get collected and have a calm state of mind was to drown everything out with silence to concentrate all on the silence. I closed my crimson red eyes and breathed slowly and deeply sucking in air that was completely unnecessary and exhaling it I concentrated on the silence around me listening to the nothingness and continued then I heard something faint "very well I shall put this issue aside Aro, but if she breaks the law she will be killed, Marcus' mate or not." the voice had belonged to Caius and as usual he seemed pissed, but the conversation that I heard had me confused I decided to try and listen in to see if I could hear anything else "excellent excellent I am very pleased that we could settle the matter and curious to see Sarah's reaction. That newborn is an interesting creature full of surprises she is. I am very curious to see how she will handle this. Anyway enough of her let us press to more important matters the project we are working on have you had any more ideas on how to improve the effectiveness of the ..." before I could catch the rest of what Aro spoke I felt someone touch my shoulder. I jumped up in shock and turned around to see it was Marcus. Felix would have been so ashamed of me to see me let my guard down. He is right I am very sloppy lately and that is unacceptable I made a note to work harder in future "did I startle you my love" Marcus asked me. I nodded my head "yes you did Marcus, but your the kind of surprise I like" I answered him and leaned in to kiss his lips, he chuckled as I pulled back "but I think it would be a good idea to get a bell and put it around your neck just so I know where you are" Marcus broke into a soft laughter and wrapped his hands around me "Sarah my love what are you doing here your meant to be in the throne room to hear the verdict on the pet" he spoke out his voice was soft like silk and I bit on my bottom lip "I am nervous on the verdict so I thought I would take a moment to compose myself before facing Caius and Aro, what about you Marcus I thought you would be in the throne room with the others for the verdict." I asked him. I thought about asking Marcus about this project I had just heard them talk about, but I thought it was best to ask in a subtle way so he did not think I was listening in. Marcus' misty red eyes looked liked they sparkled with excitement "I was preparing for our date" I smiled and for the first time noticed Marcus' attire. He wore a black business suit with a white undershirt and a black tie the tie however was crooked, other than that he was very formal I straightened his tie out "someone is eager, our date is not till tonight you're a few hours too soon Marcus" my voice chimed with joy "well Sarah my love. Why not go on the date after our little meeting in regards to that child" Marcus' voice spoke soft as silk velvet, he had leaned in as he spoke and I could smell his sweet breath "oh I would love to my love, but I'm afraid I have prior arrangements" I told him seductively "oh" Marcus' let out curiously, the king seemed surprised that I had plans "what are you doing" that silk velvet voice asked curiously "you know curiosity killed the cat" I replied playfully. Marcus' had this smile on his face and a sparkle in his eyes so full of life " good thing I am a vampire king and not a cat so it's safe to tell me what you are plotting in that devious mind of yours." I giggled "why is it people always think I'm plotting something I'm a good girl honest" I defended myself in a playful voice, I could hear Marcus scoff at me and I poked out my tongue at him and Marcus leaned in to kiss me he slipped in his tongue and it felt weird for a moment. I pulled back after a moment "to answer your question I am going out with Chelsea we are going shopping so yeah its just going to be Chelsea, Felix and myself. " Marcus' face changed from joy to concern "I am sorry baby girl , but Felix is busy with the pro...uh I mean Felix is busy why not take Heidi she loves shopping. I am sure she would appreciate the time out" I had only half heard Marcus, see something happened something strange when Marcus called me baby girl there was another voice and that voice was deeper more alluring and seductive. That voice called me baby girl too at the same time. First its the voice of a child calling me momma and now its the voice of a man calling me baby girl. Diary you're going to think I am crazy, because I already think I am crazy but I am sure that voice, well both voices are a part of my past. Marcus was beginning to look at me strangely and I snapped out of the thoughts and pushed the voice aside. I focused on Marcus and the realization that Felix had some part in this secret project "oh" was all I could bring myself to answer. I should have pressed on to the topic of the project, but I could not bring myself to do it instead I excused myself and told Marcus we had to go to the verdict of the child. Marcus asked if I was ok that I was different suddenly and I forced myself to smile to hide my troubled expression. "I am totally fine just excited about the verdict now... I am getting a good feeling about this" I lied, Marcus smiled "alright Sarah let us go and see the verdict." he grabbed my hand and gave a tug, I walked with Marcus, did I feel at ease, no. So many things were troubling me and I wondered if by asking to keep Toby had I bitten off more than I could chew, could I cope with all these lessons I am going through, raising a child and now to keep my distance from Aro so he doesn't know these new and unsettling thoughts of a child calling out to me, and a mystery voice calling me baby girl. We made it to the throne room and Marcus stood by my side and had his hand around me, Chelsea, Felix, Alec and Jane stood at the side while Renata stood behind Aro as he sat on the throne. I haven’t spent that much time with Renata, but I wouldn't mind getting to know her in the future, she rested her hand on Aro's shoulder, I recalled hearing from Felix that Renata had the ability to protect Aro, she was some sort of shield. He told me during a lesson with him when he lectured me in the importance of long range combat. "Sarah my dear we have most pleasant news for you." Aro spoke, I remained quiet for a moment "How wonderful Aro, I look forward to hearing this good news." I replied innocently. Aro remained seated on his throne, while I looked at Caius for a moment he seemed pissed like someone who was constipated, I quickly returned my glances to Aro "Sarah we have decided to allow you to keep this pet of your's on a trial basis. You should understand if you turn the child you shall be punished as the law mandates and there is no exceptions. So if you decide to feed on the child you will finish what you started are you clear." I nodded my head "Perfectly, Aro... Caius, and Marcus of course I humbly thank you for allowing me to keep this child, I vow to do everything in my power to respect your conditions and the law of course." I curtsied and looked to both the brothers while Marcus remained at my side, I could hear Jane scoffing at me while everyone else was quiet "you're all excused, Felix your to stay behind... Jane and Alec fetch our special guest the one who broke the law by exposing himself to a human." The twins left and Chelsea ran to me she grabbed my hand "lets go shopping now, don’t worry I have my hubby watching the pet... come." I smiled and bit on my bottom lip now that I could keep Toby I wanted to be with him all the time, but I made an engagement and it would be rude to break it. Chelsea and I left without saying good bye and she puled out her purse from her jeans pocket, we ran out together and I could hear Marcus yell "Have fun baby girl." I smiled and ran with Chelsea to the lift, we got in, and I found myself on an emotional high, I was high, I got to have a child... a boy named Toby. Chelsea and I left the lair and went shopping, and i ended up buying a beautiful dress very beautiful it was long and white and it was like a ball gown. Chelsea ended up buying a black knee length cocktail dress. I thought she looked good in it, but for some reason I was drawn to the white dress. On the way home Chelsea and I spoke and she asked me a lot of strange questions the two that stood out the most were: Sarah do you miss being able to remember your past? and Sarah have you ever tried to use your gift on yourself? Well of course I missed my past, I wish i could remember how I met that sweetheart Marcus, to know what my life was like as a human, was I a happy human...did i have a dream? I answered Chelsea in the best way I could "well Chelsea I would love to remember my past, I wish I could remember what my life was like, I wish I could remember so many things, and I have used my ability on myself... whenever Jane used to curse me with pain, I used my ability to push myself up... Chelsea when you're inspired you never know what comes over you, what sensations you feel, it's never the same, but the thing is I have always limited myself when I use my own ability because the sensations... it's like I'm on steroids I can literally feel the power coursing through me like adrenaline and if I am not careful I don't know what will happen." I confessed to her that I would never try anything that drastic, my power to inspire enpowered others and it helped me too, but I had no idea what would happen if I went all out. We returned home with the ball gown in the outfit case and I went to Chelsea's room, where I got dressed in it and Chelsea did my hair up. She stepped back when she finished "wow you look amazing" she spoke in awe, I smiled and thanked her, after getting up Chelsea and I went to my bedroom to see the little one was up and sitting in the corner. He was afraid of us and Afton and he had good reason to be after everything he had seen. I went to sit beside the child and he flinched "shhh Toby it's ok I am not going to hurt you, I am going to take care of you." the child quieted down "stay in here with aunty Chelsea and I will be back soon ok, I have one last thing to do today and then I am all free tomorrow I promise I will explain everything... and I will bring you back some nice toys tonight and food I promise" I wondered if the little human could understand just how risky things were "O...ok" he spoke, there was a knock at my door and the kid jumped up a little afraid, Chelsea opened the door and Marcus stepped in "I will be back soon, promise." I told the boy and stood up. Marcus looked at me in awe "sarah... you." he was in awe "yeah I know I look ugly" I spoke with a shy smile. "no never, I was trying to say you look like a lady." my shy smile grew wider "don't get used to it." I told him and he chuckled "I would not have you any other way my dear sweet Sarah." Marcus placed his hand out and I walked to him to take it. I waved to the child as Marcus pulled me out of the room, and while we walked towards the elevator I wondered if they would allow me to call Doctor Phil to help Toby, the thing is if I did get that we would probably have to kill or turn Doctor Phil he has such moral integrity I doubt he would be able to take a bribe or keep this a secret... Doctor Phil, well he is an amazing doctor, but good in small doses. We went up the lift and Macrus held me close, he kept telling me how beautiful I looked and I told him "you're still not hitting a home run, not until our wedding im no harlot" I informed him. Marcus was quiet for a moment and I glared at him. We walked out of the lift and we stopped by one of the guards, to my surprise Marcus told the guard to fetch Toby food and entertainment, I asked marcus why he did it, "I don't like the fact that you're keeping pets, but what I find worse is the thought that you have another duty on your plate, I want to help lighten your load whatever way I can." I gushed a little how could I stay mad at that, that sweetheart. We left the lair and I wondered what sort of date Marcus had planned for us, we walked through town and I noticed that Corin and Santiago were walking close behind us. We walked together when Marcus stopped in front of what looked like a night club "are you serious, we are going to a night club?" I asked Marcus. He nodded "shhh let us enter" he spoke and pulled my hand, it was then that I notice a lot of people seemed to be pulling on me lately. We entered the club, but it was empty which you have to admit is very unusual for a night club. I was curious, how could a night club be empty and why wasn't there any music "I rented out this night club just for you Sarah, we can dance here all night if you want to." Marcus whispered into my ear. I smiled and the music began to start playing, Silly Love Songs by Darren Criss the lights dimmed as the music began and together the two of us danced, and oh my gosh it was so beautiful I don't think I have ever been romanced in this way before. The song ended and so many other love songs were playing and we danced. It was at 11 pm that we left the night club and Marcus and I returned home, instead of going back inside I took him to Felix's tower where he went to be alone and we sat there looking at the beautiful stars. We enjoyed a comfortable silence and Marcus suprised me with a present "I hope you can forgive me for loosing it Sarah, I have so many books. I really need to organize my things, but this is your old diary you gave to me to read so you could show me just how much I mean to you and I must say I never knew you felt emotions this deep for me." I looked at the diary, this book held the truth about my past. I wanted to read it right away, I carefully placed it to the side and I leaned in to kiss Marcus' cheek to thank him. We actually sat up there till sunrise and when I came back to my bedroom little Toby was sleeping, he sleeps a lot for a kid... oh well it cant be helped I think I will leave now and read some of my old diary entries until Toby wakes up then I will get him dressed, feed him and take him on a tour. I may share some of my old diary entries with you, but rest assured diary I wont dwell on the past. Sarah
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InfoSarah Amanda Frost Lived in a world alone and cold where there was no one she could count on or love. After meeting Brian Jacobson that changed she fell in love with him and eventually gave birth to his son Tobias, Sarah now fights in a world of darkness sacrificing herself for the safety of the ones she love. Sarah's Diary is written by Martin. Click here to read first entryArchives
March 2012
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