Topic: It’s amazing how twisted the length of time is to me, in some ways this day felt like an eternity, in other ways it felt like it has gone by too fast…the one thing I can say for certain is it is a day I will never forget. Date: June 26th 2019 Dear Diary For now I am using Brian’s laptop to record my life and the moments I will someday wish to reflect on Brian offered me his laptop in case I felt like I needed to express myself privately and being the honorable man that he is he vowed he would not intrude on my entries. Of course I believe him, Brian wasn’t like me he doesn’t have a cruel or deceptive bone in his handsome body. After my last mental entry I had spent some time with Brian, believe it or not we did in silence. We sat together until 10pm outside the cabins Brian kissed my neck and whispered into my ear “Finally alone” I wondered what he meant by that did he want to have sex which was something I was nowhere near up to, he surprised me by holding my hand and snuggling close to me where I rested my head on his shoulders, Brian had climbed on top of my legs he leaned in to kiss me on the lips passionately, I could feel love with each passing second and it felt good. I could see with reluctance Brian had pulled back his lips inches from mine as he leaned his forehead touching mine “I hate to do this Sarah, but this is something that cannot wait. I have something important I have to do…will you be ok with The Cullen’s and Denali’s for the day.” We were so close I could see Brian’s beautiful smile and I must have pouted because he apologized “will you be back tonight” I asked him softly and he whispered a yes. It was difficult, but I told him I would be ok, he leaned back into me and kissed me passionately it was incredible the sensation was like this vibrant experience where everything was just so lively and colorful. It had been so long since I truly felt this happy. I could have gotten lost in the moment…the passion if Brian hadn’t pulled back and whispered softly “I would love to stay baby girl, but if I am going to be back by tonight I should leave now” I pouted for a moment and knew Brian must have been feeling bad about leaving, so I forced myself to smile…it must have been feeble because Brian looked sad “will you hurry up and go already you big ape, I want to watch our son” Brian had this arrogant and cocky smile on his face and he banged his hands on his chest “ME BRIAN ME APE OO OOO AAA AAA” he spoke making monkey sounds, he was trying to cheer me up and succeeding at it too. It was surprising to hear myself giggle with laughter as I put my hand on his chest softly and gently try to push him away Brian fell backwards and grabbed my wrist making me fall on top of him. My body on top of his, we looked into each other’s eyes. I could see such beauty within Brian’s eyes I could feel his muscular chest under me and I allowed myself to rest on his chest hugging him. Brian’s skin was so soft and warm and his scent it was so good, ever since I had regained my memory I had missed Brian and everything to do with him. I find it so hard to believe that Brian saved me from the Volturi with his friends…there are moments when I have this doubt and I wonder if Brian really did save me or if I was still in the dungeon and this was all a day dream. When I have those thoughts I would get so scared and I felt this pain inside me…a sadness and emptiness it’s so overwhelming and I feel as if I am being sucked into this realm of darkness…I don’t want to be there oh god I don’t want to be there…it’s scary and it hurts. “oh what the hell five more minutes won’t hurt” He whispered and wrapped his arms around mine. “I love you Brian…oh god how I love you.” Brian moved his hands from around me to rest it behind his head using his hands as a pillow for his head “yup I have that effect on the women they all love me” I sat up on his chest and glared at him while he had on that cocky and arrogant smile. Brian’s smile…I describe it as cocky and arrogant, it’s difficult to explain otherwise I mean if you just saw it for yourself you could see arrogance and cockiness in it, but if you look closer you would see love and gentleness in his smile. I could see it whenever he smiles, but I just fixate on his cockiness because it’s so darn adorable. As I continued to watch Brian’s smile I made a fist and punched his shoulder lightly and looked away “come on baby I got passion in my pants and I ain’t afraid to show it.” I gasped in disbelief as he said that and damn it I couldn’t stop myself from smiling. It wasn’t a happy smile it was an “oh my god I can’t believe he just said that” smile. If I was still a human my face would have been a scarlet red. “D…did you just quote LMFAO sexy and I know it” I asked him. the song was pretty old it came out in 2011 Brian looked away this time embarrassed and I smiled leaning close to him with my hand I touched his chin and forced him to look at me. “I don’t want anyone else when I think about you I touch myself” I recited to him from the song I touch myself it was sung by an Australian Rock band The Divinyls. Watching the bizarre and beautiful eyes of his I wanted to lean in and kiss him when he spoke “no need for you to touch yourself baby girl that’s what I’m here for” I broke into a fit of hysterical giggles and leaned down burying my face in his chest only to feel him move his hands from under his head to wrap themselves around me. Being in Brian’s arms it was nice…warm and safe, like nothing could ever harm me. I could spend the rest of my eternity in Brian’s arms, and I knew I would…I believed that I would. Reluctantly I broke out of Brian’s grip and picked myself up he looked at me surprised “you have some place to be… remember?” Brian frowned and sat up “yeah I guess your right baby girl” He picked himself up and moved close towards me and hugged me again “I’ll be back soon” he looked down at me as he spoke and I looked up to him “you better be” I whispered softly before moving in to kiss his lips. The kiss lasted only moments and then Brian let go and he left, I stood on the spot and watched him leave in his car, I stood alone and he was gone, but I knew it wouldn’t be for long it was a few minutes later that I noticed Alice stepped outside and put her arm around my waist and stood at my side it’s funny I had forgotten about the Cullen’s and Denali’s being inside the cabin along with my sleeping son, but that is how it is for me…When I am with Brian the rest of the world fades away all the pain and the sadness it is taken from me and replaced with heaven. “You’re Alice right?” I asked, double checking that I’m not mixing up names. Alice nodded her head “that’s right Sarah.” As I unleashed a soft sigh of relief I heard Alice speak “Don’t worry…Brian’s perfectly fine nothing bad is going to happen to him.” Hearing Alice speak, I tried to think back on what Brian told me about the Cullen’s…Alice was the prophetess and Edward was the mind reader while Bella was a shield and Jasper an empath. If Alice said Brian would be fine, I believed her the only thing I couldn’t stop wandering about is where the hell Brian is going and what is he doing? Alice and I walked inside the cabin and to my surprise I found the Cullen’s and The Denali’s waiting for us. Everyone one was here except for the kids and Felix “where is Felix?” I asked no one in particular, the one known as Carlisle stepped forward “He felt it was best that he left and find someplace where he belongs.” Listening to this I was shocked, how they could let him leave didn’t they understand what Felix had given up to help us escape…he had turned his back on the only home he ever knew and made enemy of the Volturi for them. Of course Edward had heard my thoughts and in that soft voice of his “He chose to leave Sarah; there was nothing we could do to stop him.” Looking away I felt hurt that Felix left without saying goodbye. He knew I would I probably would have tried to stop him…I secretly decided next time I see him….I am going to kick his ass. I turned my back on the Cullen’s and Denali’s and headed towards Tobias’s room I wanted to watch him sleep. When Carlisle spoke again “we need to know about the Volturi and the poison.” His voice had an urgency to it and I sighed softly and turned my head to look over my shoulder I could see Carlisle’s expression of concern “There is only three things I know about the poison…the first is it it’s fast acting…the second thing is it the longer that poison is inside you the weaker you become…it saps your strength to the point you are too weak to move on your own...from there the Volturi will either kill you or let you be driven insane by your own thirst….third of all the only cure for it is vampire venom…you must drink the venom of another vampire to burn away the poison because your own venom is not enough…the longer the poison is inside you the longer it takes you to regain your strength” I spoke looking straight again, the truth was I still felt weak, I knew I probably should have asked Brian for another bite before he left, but it didn’t come to mind beside I was having fun I didn’t want to ruin the moment with something as unpleasant as asking to take my lover’s venom. I had no idea when I would be back to full strength, but hopefully it would be soon. I began to walk away when Tanya walked up to me from behind and touched my right shoulder and she told me “we aren’t done with you Sarah” My body acted of its own accord. With my left hand I placed my hand over my right shoulder grabbing her hand and ducked under it Tanya’s arm and flipped her onto the ground her landing made a thud and I placed my foot on her neck applying pressure, I could hear a gasp, but I didn’t know who it was from, I was sort of in this daze, because I was just looking into Tanya’s eyes while she had her hands under my foot trying to push me off her. I snapped out of my shock when I heard his words “mom what are you doing to Aunt Tanya” I looked up and saw Tobias rubbing his eyes as he stood at the doorway “Nothing darling I was just showing her my lovely shoes...Isn’t that right Tanya” I unnecessarily applied more pressure on her neck and she spoke “Yeah their fabulous, I can’t wait to show you mine” she spoke sounding rather snarky. I looked from Tanya back to my son “there you have it right from the cat’s mouth now why don’t you go off to bed darling and I’ll see you in the morning” Tobias let off a low grumble, where I heard him mumble “Women and their shoes” the tone in his voice made me smile it reminded me of Brian when he used to complain. My beautiful son closed the door behind him and went back to bed allowing me to return to the tense situation of the Cullen’s, The Denali’s and Tanya being on the floor removing my foot from her neck I placed my hand out as if to offer her some help getting up “I am sorry about that Tanya….I think it would be best for you and others too not to sneak up on me….I don’t mean it as a threat it’s just I can’t always contain myself from reacting in a defensive action” I spoke looking to the group of vampires, they watched me in silence and I felt awkward “if you really mean you’re apology why didn’t you remove your foot as soon as it happened” she spoke harshly, looking at Tanya I really did feel bad about it “because I did not want my son to think I am insane” I responded and Tanya scoffed spitting out “it’s too late for that you’re as nutty as a peanut” You know now that I thought about it the way Tanya had her hair done back exposing her face she looked like a lizard woman. “It appears you kissing the floor once tonight was not enough, would you like an encore” I asked with fake innocence. My emotions were boiling, as I watched Tanya, she seemed just as pissed as I was, if not more, but then again I wasn’t the one who got my ass kicked unlike the queen of reptiles. It was rather sudden, but my emotions seemed to have calmed themselves down letting off a soft sigh I looked towards Tanya for a moment longer “Look…I’m sorry ok, it’s nothing personal just don’t sneak up on me” Carlisle told me he understood that it was ok, but Carlisle could not understand it…I have gone through a lot of crap and Felix trained me how to fight and keep my guard up, he taught me that if someone tries to sneak up on me act don’t react. Without anything else I left them all and went into Tobias bedroom silently and closing the door beside him, I watched my son lay on his bed and he opened his eyes “mom” he spoke out his voice was in a whisper, “it’s ok it’s just me go to sleep already.” I spoke back, Tobias invited me to sit on his bed with him until he fell asleep and so I sat on his bed, my back leaned against the wall as he slept close to me, I couldn’t stop myself from stroking his hair softly and watching him sleep. I was still getting used to this….seeing my son as a young boy…well a boy in a teenager’s body. He was mature and intelligent, but to me he was still a child…my child. I watched my son sleep, he was so peaceful, watching my baby sleep I was so fascinated with everything about him, the way he slept the way he spoke heck even the way he ate, From what I could see he was a miniature clone of Brian, he wasn’t as tall as his father or muscular, but in behavior you could swear their identical at least from what I have seen so far. I watched him till morning and eventually left the room, It was awkward to be around the Cullen’s and Denali’s after the whole Tanya incident honestly I didn’t aim to take her out, it just happened. Letting out a sigh I went to the beach and sat down at the beach, for a human I imagined it must have been very cold, due to the winds and the cold air being a vampire I was never cold anymore, and I was never hot either It’s difficult to describe the temperature it’s not hot or cold for me it’s not even warm, that’s just the way it is. I liked being in front of the ocean, being outside it was nice when you spend a great deal of time locked away in a dark dungeon with stale air, you tend to appreciate the fresh air, the light and the beauty of the scenery most of all you appreciate the freedom. I sat there on the beach completely at peace, I didn’t mind being alone much…of course I’d rather Brian be here with me, but he had something to do and it had to be something important because he would never leave unless it was necessary. Looking down at my hands I noticed the ring Marcus had put on my finger when we got married, picking myself up, I removed the ring and held it close to my heart. I remembered that day all too well…it’s something I would rather forget…I wish I could forget the last ten years…of my life. The memories and the pain….the deception, but the strange thing is if I had to do it all again…I would do it in a heartbeat…as a mother it’s my duty to sacrifice myself for my son, it’s not a duty I did out of expectation it is one out of love. Opening my fist I looked at the ring one last time and smiled before throwing it into the ocean, at that moment it felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I heard Tobias call out to me, I turned my back to the ocean and felt a breeze of fresh air blow against me as I saw my son, and Alice and Emmett were at both side of him along with Rosalie who stood beside Emmett. Before I could move to my son he came running towards me and asked what I was up to, I noticed my son was wearing track suit pants and a T-shirt “Admiring how beautiful the beach is this morning….shouldn’t you be wearing a jumper or a jacket.” Tobias frowned “Go on, go put on a jumper and a jacket” I told him, Alice had joined in “or else we go shopping” Tobias scowled “Ok ok I’m going…you know I think you should start attending SA” my son had me confused when Emmett joined in “Shopaholic anonymous” Tobias nodded his head and Emmett chuckled “ok snark about your Aunt’s shopping addiction later go get dressed and have breakfast.” I told him with a smile, reluctantly he left and then it was just the four of us “Listen Sarah…don’t feel bad about what happened inside…Edward explained to everyone about the situation about your…upbringing” Rosalie spoke, I had noticed her speech patterns were different from everyone else’s. She sounded sophisticated and elegant. “Edward…he was in my head again huh” I asked and Alice nodded her head “it’s not something he can help although he tries his best not to listen to our thoughts.” Emmett told me. Alice came at me and hugged me “Anyway we have plans for today, look the dress you have is pretty but you have worn that thing like for too long” she spoke with mock horror in her voice. Tobias was right, Alice indeed was a shopaholic, after Tobias had breakfast Rosalie, Alice, Emmett, Tobias and I went shopping in town. Tobias seemed to loath shopping, although he was mostly focused on being with me we were about to walk into the ladies underwear section when Emmett placed his hand on Tobias shoulder “this be no man’s land” I stopped and tilted my head at Emmett amused and confused, to which Tobias shared the confusion and Emmett continued “Tobias the only time its ok to see this stuff and to touch this stuff is when you’re taking it off your woman.” My jaw dropped in shock for a moment as I scowled at Emmett and Rosalie giggled for a moment “Emmett… how about you take Tobias to the book shop.” Tobias nodded and looked at me for approval “Yeah alright, but only because I don’t want you turning out to be some pervert that has a fetish for women’s underwear.” Tobias tilted his head to the side for a moment “uh….ok” he spoke in confusion he turned from me and I quickly spoke “Tobias do me a favor, if you find Anne of green gables the novel will you get it and I’ll get your father to pay the Cullen’s back later.” I spoke out, he said sure and left with Emmett “you know Rosalie…Emmett reminds me of Brian.” Rosalie agreed and you know today was a fun day, we went shopping I bought a stack of clothing and then we watched Tobias have lunch and we returned home, As soon as we did I got dressed into jeans and a nice pink top with a broach pinning it in place I spent the entire time with Tobias with the Cabin we were listening to the radio and it came to one of the best songs of all time. Whitney Houston’s I just want to dance with somebody. Hearing the song I stood up and grabbed Tobias hand and pulled him off the couch, kicking the couch to the wall I held his hand and started to dance holding my son, at first he was shy and too embarrassed to join in and eventually he joined in, I sang some of the Lyrics of the song and unleashed my gift, to inspire and supercharge abilities. Tobias smiled as he danced and I smiled as I sang along and danced with my boy. I didn’t care that everyone was watching, this was a damn good song one of my favorites from Whitney Houston. What surprised me was Brian’s voice “Sorry boy, but I’m gonna have to steal your date” I turned around and saw it was Brian he was back and I let go of Tobias hand and hugged Brian, and wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him and pulled back, I looked at Tobias and he smiled and stepped back, For a while it was Brian and I dancing to Whitney Houston and I resumed singing along with the song, after all how could you not sing along side Whitney Houston especially this song…and although I never knew her….I miss her, but you know listening to her music it feels like she is still alive you know like she lives on in her music. When the song ended and Brian wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed me passionately and I kissed him back with all my heart, and hugged him back tightly. Afterwards Brian let go “you look hot, woman.” I smiled and rested my head on his chest for a moment and looked up to see that smile of his. I playfully punched his shoulder “you’re a violent little vixen aren’t you” he spoke playfully; I shrugged and spoke casually “I am not violent, I am just peacefully challenged.” Brian snorted a laugh, the rest of the day went by fast and Tobias of course had to go to bed at 8:30 which I felt was weak, come on 8:30 seriously Lame. Brian and I walked along the beach it was windy and all the stars were out tonight, the waves crashing along the sand making that beautiful crashing sound and the scent of the ocean and of Brian it was insane…everything was perfect, Brian and I were debating on Tobias’s bedtime he was for keeping it at 8:30 and I was for 9:30, and then Brian pulled a 180 on me I grabbed his hand to hold and he suddenly fell on one knee with his free hand he pulled out a black box and opened it to show a beautiful diamond ring with a heart shape diamond in the center and diamonds around it. “I want to be your man Sarah.” It was all sudden and surprising, and I realized what Brian had meant “What I mean to say Sarah…From the moment I saw you I loved you and I want spend the rest of eternity with you…Marry me.” I was shocked of course I wanted to say yes….hell I wanted to scream it from the roof top, but how could I when I was already married to Marcus….on the other hand he and his brother did try to have me executed…could I count that as a divorce I wondered. “Yes Brian, a thousand times yes” the words escaped my lips, I could hear the emotion in my voice and Brian instantly slipped the ring on my finger and got up, he grabbed me around the waist and he lifted me up and swung me around I smiled and felt as joyous as he did as he lowered me and kissed me on the lips passionately. So I learned the reason why Brian had to go today was because he wanted to go to a decent jeweler. Brian should have known jewelry didn’t matter to me, but then I know my Brian all he wants to do is give me the best of the best…he does that just by being with me and you know it occurs to me that Alice may have known about this which is why she wanted to go shopping…hmm I think I am going to go and interrogate that savage pixie. Ok Diary I just wanted to tell you about this amazing day. ~Sarah
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InfoSarah Amanda Frost Lived in a world alone and cold where there was no one she could count on or love. After meeting Brian Jacobson that changed she fell in love with him and eventually gave birth to his son Tobias, Sarah now fights in a world of darkness sacrificing herself for the safety of the ones she love. Sarah's Diary is written by Martin. Click here to read first entryArchives
March 2012
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