Topic: Like a phoenix from the flames I have risen… At last I am awake and I see the truth.
Date: June 14, 2019 Dear Diary, I tried to think of a way to confide in you… the news I have to tell you now is so big, I have no idea how to start. I guess I could start by saying the truth will always set you free. I started this day like any other day, It was with Marcus one of the three vampire kings. He is my husband and mate, but not my love... I never did love him, I thought I did once… I had feelings, but it wasn't love. It was something else, perhaps it was gratitude. Marcus had portrayed himself to be my savor, but he was far from it he was my captor and tyrant. My day started much like any other; I was with Corin and Felix in my shared bedroom with Marcus. It seemed my personal guards change often from Corin to Alec, occasionally it would be Chelsea or to my horror Jane… Felix however was my constant he was my personal guard and he gives me some comfort he was like an ally, a friend I could confide in and he always kept my confidence. It was a boring morning; I was in our bedroom rereading one of my favorite stories Romeo and Juliet. It is an epic story of star crossed lovers kept apart by a violent feud. Only in death could the two lovers finally be united in eternity… sweet oblivion. After putting the book down I looked at Felix who stood near the door, he leaned against the wall watching me, he took his job very seriously “is something troubling you” he asked concerned, moving to the edge of my bed “I'm bored I want to leave the castle and go shopping” I informed Felix, of course I knew it probably wouldn't happen I was rarely allowed to leave the castle even with the guards. I felt like I was truly in a prison especially when Corin was not around. Felix looked like he was struggling; he had no idea what to say to me. Corin stood up “I shall go speak to master Marcus” Corin left the room and I moved back to the bed. I sat on the bed alone I had one leg stretched out over the other and my arms stretched out over the pillows. It was nice that Marcus wasn't here, he is the type of husband that is very possessive, he prefers to call me his… maybe I wouldn't mind that if I was in love with Marcus, but I wasn't in love with him. Marcus is the type of husband to treat his wife as his property, I do what he says… I do not understand him after all these years of trying to figure Marcus out he is madly in love with me, he gives me gifts occasionally and treats me well, but he treats me like an object to possess… I know better than to question him of course… it's not in my place to question Marcus, my husband and one of the three kings of our kind my role was to be his pillar of strength to comfort him and tend to his needs, my life is very dull, I miss the time before being engaged to Marcus. I could go out shopping, and even that short holiday in Australia was very pleasant it, but the days of leaving the castle was rare. Marcus is very happy, his joy comes at the expense of mine… I felt trapped because I knew I would spend an eternity in servitude to Marcus and I hated it. I was surprised when Corin returned and informed Felix and I that Demetri, Felix and Chelsea would be joining me. I of course was thrilled, I could finally leave the castle, the first thing that came on my mind was my choice in clothing, well I did have a lot to pick from, I didn't really get any say in my attire Athenodora and Sulpicia picked my clothing out, they have been queens longer than I so it’s natural for them to have more seniority over myself, I am an infant if anything. To think of myself as a child, many would say it was foolish, but I disagree I am a child, I am foolish and naïve I can recognize those qualities in myself. I know who I am… my old diary has informed me just how much of a fragile human I was. If not for the slimy jerk that ruined my life my humanity could have continued well into old age, but then like everything in life things changed. Marcus saved me only to condemn me to be his mate for eternity… I often did ask myself if I ever love him, my old diary claimed that I did love him greatly... but then that was before my memory lost, things change, people change. The thing I cant understand is Marcus knows I don’t love him, he literally knows he can see love between relationships so why is he pushing this. At this moment the answer did not matter, I was relieved to the fact that I could go out and as I picked the long silk black dress out and once I had it picked out, Felix and Corin kindly left my room to stand outside my door giving me some privacy to get dressed. I removed my dress and left on a silk gown under the black silk skin tight dress. I naturally left the golden Volturi crest necklace around my neck. Many wore this with pride; I wore it feeling as if it was a leash around my neck. After fixing my hair and taking my purse and putting on my heels and Leather jacket. Before I forgot I grabbed my gift from Felix, a sheathed dagger covered in poison that amazingly enough affected vampires. I left my bedroom to see Felix, Chelsea and Demetri waiting for me, Corin had already left to do something else. The three of us left together, going to town it was such a beautiful day it was rather cloudy, with no sunlight, there were many humans around all enticing to me, it made my throat burn, but I was no longer a wild newborn I had a level of control over myself and if I was to lose control I trusted Felix to keep me in line. I did have to admit, I felt something strange, the best way to describe it was a pull, something was pulling me at first it felt like a gut instinct, and then it was something else it was a scent oh my heavens the scent was incredible it was overwhelming and familiar…the scent was similar to the scent of the air during and after a storm it was fresh and I loved the scent a great deal, but there was something else in the scent it was sweet very sweet it was the scent of a vampire, I was sure of it. I followed my nose and perhaps my heart to this rather beautiful house. I wanted to go closer and closer and when I tried Demetri grabbed my arm and I looked at him furiously he shook his head slowly telling me it was not acceptable, and then we were forced to return to the castle which left me feeling rather disappointed. Felix left me in my room and asked Jane to keep watch over me while he went to make a report to Aro. I didn't understand why Aro had to get involved I did nothing wrong. I spent the rest of the day confined to my room, Jane finally left and put me in the care of Corin, Athenodora and Sulpicia had joined me, needless to say the company was abysmal. We sat and discussed dull topics, the sort of topics that would want to make you bang your head against a wall repeatedly, but that would be un-queen like. After a great amount of time passed Jane entered the room and told us that we were required in the throne room. It was bizarre how the three of us stood up in unison and walked towards the door we left and were outside the throne room I could hear yelling and I thought I heard my name mentioned it was awkward. Then there was something I noticed, the very sweet scent of the storm, the pleasant scent was beautiful, the doors opened, Athenodora walked out at first and took her place to stand at Caius' side, followed by Sulpicia, whom stood at Aro’s place and of course I was the last to walk out and stood at Marcus' side, when I looked ahead I saw Felix and Santiago holding down a gorgeous man, this man had dark chocolate skin, he was muscular, he was perhaps the most beautiful man I had ever seen. I watched him emotionless and he looked at me with a shocked expression, something about this gentleman was unsettling to me, I could feel something deep inside me, the silence was broken when I heard Marcus speak “Sarah my pet…give me a kiss” His voice was filled with that sick and twisted joy, he was so delusional he could have been in Narnia. I leaned down and kissed My husband, I could feel him slip in his tongue Marcus was bold and cocky to do so, but then again he was the king and I his pillar of strength. Marcus had finally pulled back and I leaned upright to return my gaze on the man being restraint by Felix and Santiago, “Sarah this is Brian Jacobson the vampire that attacked you all those years ago” Marcus had spoken, my eyes opened slightly wider in shock at the information, but before Marcus could even speak Brian had interrupted Marcus and addressed me, he told me he would never harm me. I could see Santiago tighten his grip on Brian. Marcus had resumed speaking telling me that Brian was exiled from Volterra and that his return meant he broke the law. Of course I knew what that meant; Marcus had asked me how we should punish him. I was surprised and looked at my husband It was bizarre, who was I to decide punishment for law breakers it wasn't my place, but then Marcus asked me a question, raising my hand I pointed a single finger at the man who ruined my life “off with his head” I spoke emotionless, I had to admit it was a struggle to sound emotionless the man who ruined my life stood before me with his execution moments away. I don’t know why I have this gut feeling inside me and I couldn't understand it at first, but I think it was telling me that killing Brian was wrong. I mean Brian Jacobson was the man who exposed me to the vampire world, he hunted me down and tried to attack me…because of Brian Jacobson I am a vampire and Marcus’ queen…I am here because of this man…yet I do not want to see him die. I watched with difficulty as Felix tightened his hands on Felix neck it would only be a few more moments from now, but then I heard it, Brian’s voice called out my name with desperation I could see such powerful emotions in his eyes he had the look of fear and sadness in his eyes and it was unbearable “Stop” the words escaped my lips and when they did I was in disbelief. Marcus looked up at me and I looked at him and before I knew it my body was acting on it’s own I bent down to my husband and whispered in Marcus ear “My love may I please dispose of him” I asked him, using the word love and calling him mine made me feel dirty and sick, but I was curious I wanted to get close to this Brian Jacobson. Of course Marcus took the opportunity to patronize me, I had behaved myself well the last few years, this was my reward for being a good dog. After pulling back from Marcus he gave Santiago and Felix the order to back down and they did so obediently. I approached Brian and watched how still he was, he didn't dare move an inch, The closer I got to Brian the stronger that scent of the storm air was growing ever so stronger I swear there was a moment when I was almost lost in it. I kept myself calm and gave Brian a smile it was fake, I felt no joy in this even if this man condemned me for eternity. What could I say to him for ruining my life, I had no idea instead I just went with my instincts and watched him closely, he was handsome, very handsome I stopped myself inches from Brian looking into those beautiful eyes of his and placed my hands around his neck, his skin was so warm and soft and I actually felt something inside when I touched him, this emotion it was sort of excitement and warmth, utterly impossible to describe in any other way. “I don’t remember you Mr. Jacobson, I was fortunate enough to loose my memories including the night you tried to assault me, I am finally able to get revenge, for how much you destroyed my life Mr. Jacobson.” The words escaped from my lips as I reluctantly tightened my grip around Brian’s neck. I wondered if feeling empathy was normal, of course not this man ruined me he stole my life, yet I wanted to hear him speak one more time and so I asked him “any last words Mr. Jacobson” My words seemed to strike him as he closed his eyes for a moment and then looked directly into my eyes “Sarah…the real Sarah I know you're there deep down inside…If you can hear me….I'm sorry, I'm sorry I couldn't protect you I am sorry that because of my weakness you have suffered so much and missed out on so many years of good memories. Forgive me babygirl please.” Brian’s words had shocked me for so many reasons it was so touching and heartfelt, but when he called me babygirl it was so familiar. My grip around Brian’s neck loosened “babygirl… that’s one of the nicknames Marcus calls me.” I uttered in disbelief, how could Brian know Marcus nickname for me? Before I could ask him Brian had put both of his hands on both sides of my cheeks and he kissed me passionately, I fought it at first I honestly did, but I couldn't get free and then something happened…it was like I was leaning against a door trying to keep it closed when someone on the other side was desperately trying to open that door. I tried to hold that door closed for as long as I could, but eventually it kicked open and when it did these black and white flashes entered my head, the flashes were bright and excruciating, but everything was coming back to me…all my memories were freed and I was free at long last I was free everything had come back to me. I remembered everything. Including Chelsea and Corin influencing me, to make me feel content and close to the Volturi emotionally…and I remembered how I lost my memories. I was peeking into the throne room trying to learn information on Aro and the others when I over heard them passing on an offer to the vampire that his abilities erase memories would be useful to the Volturi and if he declined he would be charged with the crime of breaking secrecy which would result in death. Of course the vampire chose the third option and that was to try and take out the kings and is why I burst in and took the attack…The vampire wiped my memories instead of the kings and my plans I was concealing stayed hidden. I was reborn in every way I could think of and the best part about it was the fact I had my man with me I had my true love here to make me feel alive… I felt this sensation inside me this joy it was so powerful it made me feel warmth inside, love and all I wanted to do was cry with joy. I couldn't cry of course because I'm a vampire… My grip tightened and I never wanted it to end. The amazing thing is as memory and sensation returned, the world around me went away it was like I was in this white room with no one and nothing else in it except for Brian. When Brian is in my life I have never felt more alive, his touch and embrace it, there is no limits that can be reached, no end to true love for each sensation and moment is eternal and powerful. I was sadly brought back to reality when I heard a voice, Marcus was furious at me the rage was intense just from the sound of his voice; things were going to get ugly real fast. Pulling back, I stepped in front of Brian and stretched my arms out, Brian’s safety was my number one priority at the moment, and his life was far more valuable than my own. A world without Brian isn't something I can imagine and it was up to me to protect him and keep him alive, I was taking Brian home to my son and I would protect both of them myself I should have known Brian couldn't handle this on his own…never leave a man to do a woman's job. “Marcus it’s over between us, from this day forward I want nothing to do with you…you lied to me, and you have allowed some horrible things to happen to me in the last ten years…I will not allow you to harm my child’s father I forbid it.” I informed Marcus I was determined to keep my family safe, I went through so much suffering and agony and went through monstrous changes just to keep them alive. The things I have witnessed and done will be a part of me forever and I knew it would take its toll on me, I turned to face Brian and smiled “lets go home…baby boy” I smiled at him. Brian had asked me if I remembered him and I told him “I owe you a big explanation Brian” I answered him. Holding Brian’s warm hand we turned to make our way out when Marcus' voice bellowed for Felix and Santiago to kill Brian. The words did not need a moment to sink in I tripped Brian with my leg so he would fall over and not get caught in Santiago and Felix’s attack. I actually stepped onto Brian’s gut so no one could drag him away while I was holding off the two guards. It was as I expected the two came at me from both sides, I was afraid I was facing two of the strongest guards the Volturi had, but I knew that there was one power on this earth that was stronger than brute force and that was love…my love for Brian gave me the strength and courage I needed. I had caught both of the vampires wrists and stopped them in their tracks. “I don’t like it when people attack my loved ones, I get kind of testy” I spoke feeling antagonized, I spun around and as I did I tossed both of them a distance. Felix who was once my best friend now turned enemy crashed into a wall while Santiago slid across the ground. Stepping off of Brian I watched the Volturi as he picked himself up, It was as I feared Aro was calling Jane and I could fight off Jane’s ability I could, but the problem is Brian couldn't. Jane had stepped forward with that sadistic grin on her face, who would hit the ground in agony would it be Brian or myself, it was both to our surprise that a hooded member of the Volturi placed their hand on Jane and sent Jane to the floor in pain, Jane was twitching and screaming in pain. The hooded member of the Volturi lowered the hood and it was a female she seemed pleased with herself, Brian had startled me when he yelled out to the female asking what she was doing here, apparently her name was Kate. I had to admit, I had no idea who this Kate was, but I liked her she seemed to be a sadist like Jane and enjoyed shocking Jane, but in Kate's defense Jane is a grade A bitch. Returning my attention to my surroundings I could see Santiago turn from my direction and went towards Kate. My feet moved on their own accord, and I ran to Santiago and tackled him to the ground and bit into his neck before pulling off his head. I could taste Santiago’s venom inside me and it stung a great deal. What surprised me is the fact a stranger called my name, I glanced at the man and he threw a match box at me, of course it was easy to catch and after getting up I set a match stick a light and disposed of Santiago. The flames consumed Santiago giving him the true death, it was strange this man had once been one of my guards yet I felt nothing for him as he turned to ash. I had moved my gaze from the flame to Aro to watch him stand up and yell “Don’t just stand there seize them and destroy them all” the woman known as Kate had stood up and ran towards Brian followed by her accomplice I made my way towards Brian and his friends “we have to leave now” the words escaped my lips as I grabbed Brian’s hand and started to run, we were followed by his friends . Everything was so intense we were followed by Demetri, I knew it I looked back with Brian and saw Demetri holding the poison in his hand. I Knew what was coming, they were going to use it on Brian to take him down. Kate and the other one had over taken us and Demetri threw the vial without even thinking about it I let go of Brian's arm and shielded him from the poison allowing it to hit me instead. The poison was fast acting and I unleashed a yell of pain, and felt that poison sink into my skin I already felt strange, “Keep running” I spoke out softly I had stopped running and as Demetri caught up I swiftly avoided one of his blows to deliver a punch and punched Demetri knocking him off his feet followed by punching down one of the pillars, the ceiling above us began to shake. Brian and his friends had stopped running the ceiling was shaking and as Demetri picked himself up and my body began to suffer as one of the affects of the poison, I could feel my strength just fading fast and there was pain, unbelievable pain. Demetri was at me and with an effort I had stopped him and tossed him into another pillar the ceiling was at it’s limits which was exactly what I wanted. It was starting to collapse and I knew the truth I couldn't go with Brian now, as much as I wanted to I just couldn't…I was infected with this poison and I would only slow Brian and his friends down…I have to put him first…for Tobias. I looked at my soul mate and tried to smile, I pulled out the gift given to me by Felix oh so long ago, and chucked it to Brian he caught it and I knew I had to be quick “Brian…this is a weapon covered in a deadly poison the Volturi have been working on a poison to get rid of the Cullen’s coven you…you have to warn them get them to run…take Tobias and flee with them” I spoke in agony. I turned to Demetri, things were going to get ugly, Brian had asked a question about being able to flee with Demetri about. “Brian leave Demetri to me, just take Tobias and protect him” Brian stood still “BRIAN SAVE TOBIAS” I yelled out feeling a little pissed. Brian told me he would take Tobias some place safe and then he would come back for me, I broke my gaze from Demetri and smiled “I know you will…I love you Brian now and forever” I confessed and the ceiling collapsed blocking Brian off. Brian had left and that left me with Demetri, my strength was fading fast I felt like I was weak, less than vampire and a hell of a lot less than human. Demetri came at me and tackled me into the newly caved in wall and with an amount of effort I pushed him off me and tackled him into the floor I climbed on top of him and bit into his neck, I always had this theory on the poison and how to stop it or at least slow it down. Venom…venom could burn off the poison…but one vampires venom might not be another.. So this was where Demetri came in, I drained his venom he tried to fight me off and I don’t know how, but I did it I stayed on top of him and sucked in his venom…Taking in a vampires venom is painful and unbearable something you could never imagine. After taking in all I could I rolled to the side…I was too weak to get up and I didn't know long it would take before Demetri’s venom would kick in, but I did manage to light that matchstick from the matches I had and I set Demetri on fire. He burned and his screams were heard. I was at his sides and the flames were close to me, It would only be a matter of time before the flames had spread to me and taken me along with Demetri, but the flames had never reached me, in fact everything had gone blank, my body went numb, my emotions had gone and so had my mind…I wondered if the flames consumed me and I perished in the blaze…If this was death it wouldn't have been so bad I died to give Brian and Tobias another chance to survive. It was some time later that the white void began to vanish and I found myself in a dark dark room I was sitting up leaning against a wall with Marcus, Felix and Aro in the room, Alec was exiting the room and I watched as Aro walked towards me, he crouched to the ground, something I never saw him do before and moved in to be inches from me and I tried to move, but I couldn't move at all. “Well well well, Sarah I must say you seem to have a magnificent gift for trouble…you have slaughtered two of my guards and one of them was very valuable.” he spoke calmly, I mustered up a smile “what can I say, you can’t spell slaughter without laughter.” I spoke and laughed a little, I had a smile on my face it was smug and arrogant, what made me like that was seeing Aro’s face. He looked pissed, he slapped me and leaned in closer “yes that is indeed true, but we shall see who is laughing last when I am slaughtering your beloved Brian and your son dear dear Sarah” he spoke with confidence, I kept my smile on my face “the question you have to ask yourself Aro is how do you expect to find them when your blood hound is nothing but ash.” Aro looked annoyed and stood up “Oh I will find him Sarah and if not I shall spread word of your pending execution…in fact I am thinking of making it a public event so all of our kind can see judgment cast on the Volturi’s backstabbing bitch” I was surprised, I don’t know why, I should have expected it that I would be executed for this crime, but it did catch me off guard. “No smart replies Dear Sarah…I see the seriousness of your actions have finally sunk in.” Aro chuckled he walked toward the door and I stopped him by calling his name, as he turned to face me I had a dark grin on my face “the first time you met me, I was a clueless human, the second time you met me I was a human carrying a vampire’s child…the third time you met me I was vampire with no memory of past….the next time you meet me Aro, I will be death and it will be you I claim” Aro lost his temper and he stormed towards me and grabbed me by the neck lifting me off the ground “I am the ruler of our people and you are nothing but a whore, do you honestly think you can oppose me…you could never learn your place and now it will result in your death.” He snapped before dropping me. I had hit the ground hard and Aro walked out. Marcus had followed not saying a single word or looking back to me. It was only Felix and I and he looked at me like his heart was breaking I had no idea why eventually I spoke to Felix “so much for my theory about venom being the cure” I mumbled feeling weaker than ever. Felix was quiet “When I found you…Alec had you subdued with his gift, while Afton pulled you away from the flames…Aro arrived with Jane and ordered for you to be given more of the poison just to be safe” I looked down and smiled, at least I knew what happened, how I survived and the fact that Brian and his friends had somehow escaped. Felix had spoken again “why Sarah? Why did you do it, why did you betray us, don’t you now what you have done and what this means for you? … Sarah you’re a criminal now, their going to give you an execution…and its not private like normal rule breakers, but what you have done…their going to make it a public for all of our kind to see.” He tried to make me realize what my actions had caused and the events it would set into motions, I saw the truth very well, my truth was different than his. I smiled my answer was simple and no explanation was needed “The answer is Felix…I did it for love” ~Sarah
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InfoSarah Amanda Frost Lived in a world alone and cold where there was no one she could count on or love. After meeting Brian Jacobson that changed she fell in love with him and eventually gave birth to his son Tobias, Sarah now fights in a world of darkness sacrificing herself for the safety of the ones she love. Sarah's Diary is written by Martin. Click here to read first entryArchives
March 2012
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