Topic: Like a phoenix from the flames I have risen… At last I am awake and I see the truth.
Date: June 14, 2019 Dear Diary, I tried to think of a way to confide in you… the news I have to tell you now is so big, I have no idea how to start. I guess I could start by saying the truth will always set you free. I started this day like any other day, It was with Marcus one of the three vampire kings. He is my husband and mate, but not my love... I never did love him, I thought I did once… I had feelings, but it wasn't love. It was something else, perhaps it was gratitude. Marcus had portrayed himself to be my savor, but he was far from it he was my captor and tyrant. My day started much like any other; I was with Corin and Felix in my shared bedroom with Marcus. It seemed my personal guards change often from Corin to Alec, occasionally it would be Chelsea or to my horror Jane… Felix however was my constant he was my personal guard and he gives me some comfort he was like an ally, a friend I could confide in and he always kept my confidence. It was a boring morning; I was in our bedroom rereading one of my favorite stories Romeo and Juliet. It is an epic story of star crossed lovers kept apart by a violent feud. Only in death could the two lovers finally be united in eternity… sweet oblivion. After putting the book down I looked at Felix who stood near the door, he leaned against the wall watching me, he took his job very seriously “is something troubling you” he asked concerned, moving to the edge of my bed “I'm bored I want to leave the castle and go shopping” I informed Felix, of course I knew it probably wouldn't happen I was rarely allowed to leave the castle even with the guards. I felt like I was truly in a prison especially when Corin was not around. Felix looked like he was struggling; he had no idea what to say to me. Corin stood up “I shall go speak to master Marcus” Corin left the room and I moved back to the bed. I sat on the bed alone I had one leg stretched out over the other and my arms stretched out over the pillows. It was nice that Marcus wasn't here, he is the type of husband that is very possessive, he prefers to call me his… maybe I wouldn't mind that if I was in love with Marcus, but I wasn't in love with him. Marcus is the type of husband to treat his wife as his property, I do what he says… I do not understand him after all these years of trying to figure Marcus out he is madly in love with me, he gives me gifts occasionally and treats me well, but he treats me like an object to possess… I know better than to question him of course… it's not in my place to question Marcus, my husband and one of the three kings of our kind my role was to be his pillar of strength to comfort him and tend to his needs, my life is very dull, I miss the time before being engaged to Marcus. I could go out shopping, and even that short holiday in Australia was very pleasant it, but the days of leaving the castle was rare. Marcus is very happy, his joy comes at the expense of mine… I felt trapped because I knew I would spend an eternity in servitude to Marcus and I hated it. I was surprised when Corin returned and informed Felix and I that Demetri, Felix and Chelsea would be joining me. I of course was thrilled, I could finally leave the castle, the first thing that came on my mind was my choice in clothing, well I did have a lot to pick from, I didn't really get any say in my attire Athenodora and Sulpicia picked my clothing out, they have been queens longer than I so it’s natural for them to have more seniority over myself, I am an infant if anything. To think of myself as a child, many would say it was foolish, but I disagree I am a child, I am foolish and naïve I can recognize those qualities in myself. I know who I am… my old diary has informed me just how much of a fragile human I was. If not for the slimy jerk that ruined my life my humanity could have continued well into old age, but then like everything in life things changed. Marcus saved me only to condemn me to be his mate for eternity… I often did ask myself if I ever love him, my old diary claimed that I did love him greatly... but then that was before my memory lost, things change, people change. The thing I cant understand is Marcus knows I don’t love him, he literally knows he can see love between relationships so why is he pushing this. At this moment the answer did not matter, I was relieved to the fact that I could go out and as I picked the long silk black dress out and once I had it picked out, Felix and Corin kindly left my room to stand outside my door giving me some privacy to get dressed. I removed my dress and left on a silk gown under the black silk skin tight dress. I naturally left the golden Volturi crest necklace around my neck. Many wore this with pride; I wore it feeling as if it was a leash around my neck. After fixing my hair and taking my purse and putting on my heels and Leather jacket. Before I forgot I grabbed my gift from Felix, a sheathed dagger covered in poison that amazingly enough affected vampires. I left my bedroom to see Felix, Chelsea and Demetri waiting for me, Corin had already left to do something else. The three of us left together, going to town it was such a beautiful day it was rather cloudy, with no sunlight, there were many humans around all enticing to me, it made my throat burn, but I was no longer a wild newborn I had a level of control over myself and if I was to lose control I trusted Felix to keep me in line. I did have to admit, I felt something strange, the best way to describe it was a pull, something was pulling me at first it felt like a gut instinct, and then it was something else it was a scent oh my heavens the scent was incredible it was overwhelming and familiar…the scent was similar to the scent of the air during and after a storm it was fresh and I loved the scent a great deal, but there was something else in the scent it was sweet very sweet it was the scent of a vampire, I was sure of it. I followed my nose and perhaps my heart to this rather beautiful house. I wanted to go closer and closer and when I tried Demetri grabbed my arm and I looked at him furiously he shook his head slowly telling me it was not acceptable, and then we were forced to return to the castle which left me feeling rather disappointed. Felix left me in my room and asked Jane to keep watch over me while he went to make a report to Aro. I didn't understand why Aro had to get involved I did nothing wrong. I spent the rest of the day confined to my room, Jane finally left and put me in the care of Corin, Athenodora and Sulpicia had joined me, needless to say the company was abysmal. We sat and discussed dull topics, the sort of topics that would want to make you bang your head against a wall repeatedly, but that would be un-queen like. After a great amount of time passed Jane entered the room and told us that we were required in the throne room. It was bizarre how the three of us stood up in unison and walked towards the door we left and were outside the throne room I could hear yelling and I thought I heard my name mentioned it was awkward. Then there was something I noticed, the very sweet scent of the storm, the pleasant scent was beautiful, the doors opened, Athenodora walked out at first and took her place to stand at Caius' side, followed by Sulpicia, whom stood at Aro’s place and of course I was the last to walk out and stood at Marcus' side, when I looked ahead I saw Felix and Santiago holding down a gorgeous man, this man had dark chocolate skin, he was muscular, he was perhaps the most beautiful man I had ever seen. I watched him emotionless and he looked at me with a shocked expression, something about this gentleman was unsettling to me, I could feel something deep inside me, the silence was broken when I heard Marcus speak “Sarah my pet…give me a kiss” His voice was filled with that sick and twisted joy, he was so delusional he could have been in Narnia. I leaned down and kissed My husband, I could feel him slip in his tongue Marcus was bold and cocky to do so, but then again he was the king and I his pillar of strength. Marcus had finally pulled back and I leaned upright to return my gaze on the man being restraint by Felix and Santiago, “Sarah this is Brian Jacobson the vampire that attacked you all those years ago” Marcus had spoken, my eyes opened slightly wider in shock at the information, but before Marcus could even speak Brian had interrupted Marcus and addressed me, he told me he would never harm me. I could see Santiago tighten his grip on Brian. Marcus had resumed speaking telling me that Brian was exiled from Volterra and that his return meant he broke the law. Of course I knew what that meant; Marcus had asked me how we should punish him. I was surprised and looked at my husband It was bizarre, who was I to decide punishment for law breakers it wasn't my place, but then Marcus asked me a question, raising my hand I pointed a single finger at the man who ruined my life “off with his head” I spoke emotionless, I had to admit it was a struggle to sound emotionless the man who ruined my life stood before me with his execution moments away. I don’t know why I have this gut feeling inside me and I couldn't understand it at first, but I think it was telling me that killing Brian was wrong. I mean Brian Jacobson was the man who exposed me to the vampire world, he hunted me down and tried to attack me…because of Brian Jacobson I am a vampire and Marcus’ queen…I am here because of this man…yet I do not want to see him die. I watched with difficulty as Felix tightened his hands on Felix neck it would only be a few more moments from now, but then I heard it, Brian’s voice called out my name with desperation I could see such powerful emotions in his eyes he had the look of fear and sadness in his eyes and it was unbearable “Stop” the words escaped my lips and when they did I was in disbelief. Marcus looked up at me and I looked at him and before I knew it my body was acting on it’s own I bent down to my husband and whispered in Marcus ear “My love may I please dispose of him” I asked him, using the word love and calling him mine made me feel dirty and sick, but I was curious I wanted to get close to this Brian Jacobson. Of course Marcus took the opportunity to patronize me, I had behaved myself well the last few years, this was my reward for being a good dog. After pulling back from Marcus he gave Santiago and Felix the order to back down and they did so obediently. I approached Brian and watched how still he was, he didn't dare move an inch, The closer I got to Brian the stronger that scent of the storm air was growing ever so stronger I swear there was a moment when I was almost lost in it. I kept myself calm and gave Brian a smile it was fake, I felt no joy in this even if this man condemned me for eternity. What could I say to him for ruining my life, I had no idea instead I just went with my instincts and watched him closely, he was handsome, very handsome I stopped myself inches from Brian looking into those beautiful eyes of his and placed my hands around his neck, his skin was so warm and soft and I actually felt something inside when I touched him, this emotion it was sort of excitement and warmth, utterly impossible to describe in any other way. “I don’t remember you Mr. Jacobson, I was fortunate enough to loose my memories including the night you tried to assault me, I am finally able to get revenge, for how much you destroyed my life Mr. Jacobson.” The words escaped from my lips as I reluctantly tightened my grip around Brian’s neck. I wondered if feeling empathy was normal, of course not this man ruined me he stole my life, yet I wanted to hear him speak one more time and so I asked him “any last words Mr. Jacobson” My words seemed to strike him as he closed his eyes for a moment and then looked directly into my eyes “Sarah…the real Sarah I know you're there deep down inside…If you can hear me….I'm sorry, I'm sorry I couldn't protect you I am sorry that because of my weakness you have suffered so much and missed out on so many years of good memories. Forgive me babygirl please.” Brian’s words had shocked me for so many reasons it was so touching and heartfelt, but when he called me babygirl it was so familiar. My grip around Brian’s neck loosened “babygirl… that’s one of the nicknames Marcus calls me.” I uttered in disbelief, how could Brian know Marcus nickname for me? Before I could ask him Brian had put both of his hands on both sides of my cheeks and he kissed me passionately, I fought it at first I honestly did, but I couldn't get free and then something happened…it was like I was leaning against a door trying to keep it closed when someone on the other side was desperately trying to open that door. I tried to hold that door closed for as long as I could, but eventually it kicked open and when it did these black and white flashes entered my head, the flashes were bright and excruciating, but everything was coming back to me…all my memories were freed and I was free at long last I was free everything had come back to me. I remembered everything. Including Chelsea and Corin influencing me, to make me feel content and close to the Volturi emotionally…and I remembered how I lost my memories. I was peeking into the throne room trying to learn information on Aro and the others when I over heard them passing on an offer to the vampire that his abilities erase memories would be useful to the Volturi and if he declined he would be charged with the crime of breaking secrecy which would result in death. Of course the vampire chose the third option and that was to try and take out the kings and is why I burst in and took the attack…The vampire wiped my memories instead of the kings and my plans I was concealing stayed hidden. I was reborn in every way I could think of and the best part about it was the fact I had my man with me I had my true love here to make me feel alive… I felt this sensation inside me this joy it was so powerful it made me feel warmth inside, love and all I wanted to do was cry with joy. I couldn't cry of course because I'm a vampire… My grip tightened and I never wanted it to end. The amazing thing is as memory and sensation returned, the world around me went away it was like I was in this white room with no one and nothing else in it except for Brian. When Brian is in my life I have never felt more alive, his touch and embrace it, there is no limits that can be reached, no end to true love for each sensation and moment is eternal and powerful. I was sadly brought back to reality when I heard a voice, Marcus was furious at me the rage was intense just from the sound of his voice; things were going to get ugly real fast. Pulling back, I stepped in front of Brian and stretched my arms out, Brian’s safety was my number one priority at the moment, and his life was far more valuable than my own. A world without Brian isn't something I can imagine and it was up to me to protect him and keep him alive, I was taking Brian home to my son and I would protect both of them myself I should have known Brian couldn't handle this on his own…never leave a man to do a woman's job. “Marcus it’s over between us, from this day forward I want nothing to do with you…you lied to me, and you have allowed some horrible things to happen to me in the last ten years…I will not allow you to harm my child’s father I forbid it.” I informed Marcus I was determined to keep my family safe, I went through so much suffering and agony and went through monstrous changes just to keep them alive. The things I have witnessed and done will be a part of me forever and I knew it would take its toll on me, I turned to face Brian and smiled “lets go home…baby boy” I smiled at him. Brian had asked me if I remembered him and I told him “I owe you a big explanation Brian” I answered him. Holding Brian’s warm hand we turned to make our way out when Marcus' voice bellowed for Felix and Santiago to kill Brian. The words did not need a moment to sink in I tripped Brian with my leg so he would fall over and not get caught in Santiago and Felix’s attack. I actually stepped onto Brian’s gut so no one could drag him away while I was holding off the two guards. It was as I expected the two came at me from both sides, I was afraid I was facing two of the strongest guards the Volturi had, but I knew that there was one power on this earth that was stronger than brute force and that was love…my love for Brian gave me the strength and courage I needed. I had caught both of the vampires wrists and stopped them in their tracks. “I don’t like it when people attack my loved ones, I get kind of testy” I spoke feeling antagonized, I spun around and as I did I tossed both of them a distance. Felix who was once my best friend now turned enemy crashed into a wall while Santiago slid across the ground. Stepping off of Brian I watched the Volturi as he picked himself up, It was as I feared Aro was calling Jane and I could fight off Jane’s ability I could, but the problem is Brian couldn't. Jane had stepped forward with that sadistic grin on her face, who would hit the ground in agony would it be Brian or myself, it was both to our surprise that a hooded member of the Volturi placed their hand on Jane and sent Jane to the floor in pain, Jane was twitching and screaming in pain. The hooded member of the Volturi lowered the hood and it was a female she seemed pleased with herself, Brian had startled me when he yelled out to the female asking what she was doing here, apparently her name was Kate. I had to admit, I had no idea who this Kate was, but I liked her she seemed to be a sadist like Jane and enjoyed shocking Jane, but in Kate's defense Jane is a grade A bitch. Returning my attention to my surroundings I could see Santiago turn from my direction and went towards Kate. My feet moved on their own accord, and I ran to Santiago and tackled him to the ground and bit into his neck before pulling off his head. I could taste Santiago’s venom inside me and it stung a great deal. What surprised me is the fact a stranger called my name, I glanced at the man and he threw a match box at me, of course it was easy to catch and after getting up I set a match stick a light and disposed of Santiago. The flames consumed Santiago giving him the true death, it was strange this man had once been one of my guards yet I felt nothing for him as he turned to ash. I had moved my gaze from the flame to Aro to watch him stand up and yell “Don’t just stand there seize them and destroy them all” the woman known as Kate had stood up and ran towards Brian followed by her accomplice I made my way towards Brian and his friends “we have to leave now” the words escaped my lips as I grabbed Brian’s hand and started to run, we were followed by his friends . Everything was so intense we were followed by Demetri, I knew it I looked back with Brian and saw Demetri holding the poison in his hand. I Knew what was coming, they were going to use it on Brian to take him down. Kate and the other one had over taken us and Demetri threw the vial without even thinking about it I let go of Brian's arm and shielded him from the poison allowing it to hit me instead. The poison was fast acting and I unleashed a yell of pain, and felt that poison sink into my skin I already felt strange, “Keep running” I spoke out softly I had stopped running and as Demetri caught up I swiftly avoided one of his blows to deliver a punch and punched Demetri knocking him off his feet followed by punching down one of the pillars, the ceiling above us began to shake. Brian and his friends had stopped running the ceiling was shaking and as Demetri picked himself up and my body began to suffer as one of the affects of the poison, I could feel my strength just fading fast and there was pain, unbelievable pain. Demetri was at me and with an effort I had stopped him and tossed him into another pillar the ceiling was at it’s limits which was exactly what I wanted. It was starting to collapse and I knew the truth I couldn't go with Brian now, as much as I wanted to I just couldn't…I was infected with this poison and I would only slow Brian and his friends down…I have to put him first…for Tobias. I looked at my soul mate and tried to smile, I pulled out the gift given to me by Felix oh so long ago, and chucked it to Brian he caught it and I knew I had to be quick “Brian…this is a weapon covered in a deadly poison the Volturi have been working on a poison to get rid of the Cullen’s coven you…you have to warn them get them to run…take Tobias and flee with them” I spoke in agony. I turned to Demetri, things were going to get ugly, Brian had asked a question about being able to flee with Demetri about. “Brian leave Demetri to me, just take Tobias and protect him” Brian stood still “BRIAN SAVE TOBIAS” I yelled out feeling a little pissed. Brian told me he would take Tobias some place safe and then he would come back for me, I broke my gaze from Demetri and smiled “I know you will…I love you Brian now and forever” I confessed and the ceiling collapsed blocking Brian off. Brian had left and that left me with Demetri, my strength was fading fast I felt like I was weak, less than vampire and a hell of a lot less than human. Demetri came at me and tackled me into the newly caved in wall and with an amount of effort I pushed him off me and tackled him into the floor I climbed on top of him and bit into his neck, I always had this theory on the poison and how to stop it or at least slow it down. Venom…venom could burn off the poison…but one vampires venom might not be another.. So this was where Demetri came in, I drained his venom he tried to fight me off and I don’t know how, but I did it I stayed on top of him and sucked in his venom…Taking in a vampires venom is painful and unbearable something you could never imagine. After taking in all I could I rolled to the side…I was too weak to get up and I didn't know long it would take before Demetri’s venom would kick in, but I did manage to light that matchstick from the matches I had and I set Demetri on fire. He burned and his screams were heard. I was at his sides and the flames were close to me, It would only be a matter of time before the flames had spread to me and taken me along with Demetri, but the flames had never reached me, in fact everything had gone blank, my body went numb, my emotions had gone and so had my mind…I wondered if the flames consumed me and I perished in the blaze…If this was death it wouldn't have been so bad I died to give Brian and Tobias another chance to survive. It was some time later that the white void began to vanish and I found myself in a dark dark room I was sitting up leaning against a wall with Marcus, Felix and Aro in the room, Alec was exiting the room and I watched as Aro walked towards me, he crouched to the ground, something I never saw him do before and moved in to be inches from me and I tried to move, but I couldn't move at all. “Well well well, Sarah I must say you seem to have a magnificent gift for trouble…you have slaughtered two of my guards and one of them was very valuable.” he spoke calmly, I mustered up a smile “what can I say, you can’t spell slaughter without laughter.” I spoke and laughed a little, I had a smile on my face it was smug and arrogant, what made me like that was seeing Aro’s face. He looked pissed, he slapped me and leaned in closer “yes that is indeed true, but we shall see who is laughing last when I am slaughtering your beloved Brian and your son dear dear Sarah” he spoke with confidence, I kept my smile on my face “the question you have to ask yourself Aro is how do you expect to find them when your blood hound is nothing but ash.” Aro looked annoyed and stood up “Oh I will find him Sarah and if not I shall spread word of your pending execution…in fact I am thinking of making it a public event so all of our kind can see judgment cast on the Volturi’s backstabbing bitch” I was surprised, I don’t know why, I should have expected it that I would be executed for this crime, but it did catch me off guard. “No smart replies Dear Sarah…I see the seriousness of your actions have finally sunk in.” Aro chuckled he walked toward the door and I stopped him by calling his name, as he turned to face me I had a dark grin on my face “the first time you met me, I was a clueless human, the second time you met me I was a human carrying a vampire’s child…the third time you met me I was vampire with no memory of past….the next time you meet me Aro, I will be death and it will be you I claim” Aro lost his temper and he stormed towards me and grabbed me by the neck lifting me off the ground “I am the ruler of our people and you are nothing but a whore, do you honestly think you can oppose me…you could never learn your place and now it will result in your death.” He snapped before dropping me. I had hit the ground hard and Aro walked out. Marcus had followed not saying a single word or looking back to me. It was only Felix and I and he looked at me like his heart was breaking I had no idea why eventually I spoke to Felix “so much for my theory about venom being the cure” I mumbled feeling weaker than ever. Felix was quiet “When I found you…Alec had you subdued with his gift, while Afton pulled you away from the flames…Aro arrived with Jane and ordered for you to be given more of the poison just to be safe” I looked down and smiled, at least I knew what happened, how I survived and the fact that Brian and his friends had somehow escaped. Felix had spoken again “why Sarah? Why did you do it, why did you betray us, don’t you now what you have done and what this means for you? … Sarah you’re a criminal now, their going to give you an execution…and its not private like normal rule breakers, but what you have done…their going to make it a public for all of our kind to see.” He tried to make me realize what my actions had caused and the events it would set into motions, I saw the truth very well, my truth was different than his. I smiled my answer was simple and no explanation was needed “The answer is Felix…I did it for love” ~Sarah
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Topic: A Saint Marcus Day wedding.
Date March 19, 2015 Dear Diary, It has been five years since my last entry, in my last entry I was punished for my sins of attacking one of the guard on multiple occasions, Jane for the murder of a human child named Toby. Since those five years, I have changed for the better. I keep my emotions in check, and act as a future queen should. I have finally realized that. My reason’s for not writing in my diary, well I have no idea why i have chose not to write…and confide in you. I must mention my lessons with Felix have stopped, as Marcus and Caius so kindly suggested that I could dedicate my time to fulfill my duties and prepare for my role as the queen of Volturi so of course I spent a great deal of the time with the queens this time I paid very close attention to the lessons and did as I was told. The last five years have been rather uneventful and bland, I live for the Volturi and so shall I help Marcus govern it for that is my role as queen. I have been busy as of late. My sisters and I have been preparing for my wedding to Marcus the wedding will not only make me the wife, the mate of king Marcus it will be my coronation as the third queen. Our preparations did not involve the normal human customs well not all of them. My future sister in-laws Sulpicia and Athenodora hosted a hen’s night. Some of the guests were Heidi, Renata, Chelsea, Corin and Jane, the men were not allowed at our party. I had no idea that the party was going to take place, it was a surprise. I was walking down the hall on my own when Sulpicia approached me and informed me that my presence was needed to witness the execution of a law breaker I followed her and we went to the throne room, When I came inside I saw Athenodora, Renata, Chelsea, Corin and Jane the room looked just the same and it wasn’t long until Heidi joined us with a small group of tourist “I apologize for being late, I had to drop off some of our food to the dungeons for the wedding tomorrow” She spoke approaching Sulpicia and Athenodora the queens. They forgave her of course and we looked at the humans, they weren’t from around here, one of the Volturi laws is hunting inside the city is prohibited we never gather civilians because it would bring suspicion on us, we hunt outside our city sometimes bringing in humans from a long distance, but today was different it was the day before my wedding to Marcus and the day before Saint Marcus Day, a holiday where a man named Marcus ran all the vampires out the city decades ago. We never left the city we just allowed the humans to think that, but every year we would have tourist come and visit the city is overflowed with the flesh bags and we feast. I examined the humans, Heidi really outdid herself, she gathered seven human’s in all shapes and sizes the eldest human there looked to be in their thirties while the youngest teemed to be 10 a little boy I looked at the child curiously for a moment and turned my back, my throat was burning I walked back to my sisters and stood beside them the two discussed which humans they wanted, I had chosen the male human, he had red hair and green eyes, he was slightly tanned and wore a black T-shirt and jeans. You had to give it to Heidi she had a talent for bringing in the food. She really did. Heidi has an ability, what Aro would call Physical attraction. No man, woman or child can resist her charms she has the ability to lure anyone to go with her, only a few have been known to fight off her ability. I walked to the blood bag I was interested in and grabbed him by the arm and everyone went off and grabbed a human there was one for each of us before we feasted Corin spoke out “To Sarah, may you have an eternity of love and joy with Marcus.” It was a short toast, but better than I expected. I thanked Corin for the well wishes. Over the last five years I have gotten to know Corin well, she has a soothing influence she eases us, she is a part time guard to us for the strange fact we tend to get uneasy and slightly ill when she is around for a long amount of time. We had all bitten into our humans the screams were loud and almost in unison, when I fed on that human I could not bring myself to stop, feasting has made me like a shark, once I taste blood I go into frenzy I devour my victim without remorse for I am a soulless creature of the night and the only purpose these flesh bags have is to sustain my kind. I was the first to finish off the human; I discarded the corpse like it was nothing and watched everyone taking their time draining the humans slow. One of the things that makes me different is I don’t like taking my time with the human it is just too much of a bother lately. I examined the other women feeding off their meals, when Jane stopped and looked up at me, “Sarah would you like some of my human.” She asked her voice was almost like a taunt, she had an arrogant smile on her face I looked at the child and even after all these years seeing a child slipping away is unsettling to me. “No thank you Jane, thank you very much for the kind gesture.” I spoke answering her, she smiled wickedly and returned to feasting off of the child. I walked to the chairs and sat on one of the them, I watched everyone feed, Heidi was the first of them to finish her meal, she dropped the corpse and a thud was heard, Heidi pulled out a napkin and wiped the blood from the side of her mouth before coming to sit at my side. I did not know Heidi that well and I did not like her much, she was just the lure of a fishing rod to me. I did find myself curious about her as we sat in silence waiting for the others to finish their meal I finally asked her what was on my mind. “Heidi what was your life like before you joined the Volturi” I watched her and she looked at me, “I thought you knew… well I was born in the 15th century in my beloved homeland Germany. My life was interesting, my parents raised me and when I was 15 I had suitors lined up desperate for my hand they were drawn in by my beauty of course none of them loved me for my heart or personality… I was 15 when I realized men do not have the capacity of love.” She sounded so bitter, and at such an early age I had no idea, but at that moment I hated Heidi a little less. I listened to her as she went on “I chose to be alone and rejected every suitor, I had such high expectations what I did not know was my parents were hoping I would find a suitor of high class to pay off their debts, I was to save my family from poverty, but I refused to settle and we went into poverty. My parents did not last, they died on the streets, and I resorted to selling myself to survive. I eventually met Hilda and Hilda was a vampire and my maker…Hilda she was a kind woman she created me out of pity, she was my salvation and washed away my sins cleaning the slate. Oh I was happy with Hilda she was my friend… she was a mother to me. Eventually we had others join us Noela, Mary, Victoria and her sister Anne. We were a family Sarah, we loved each other like a family should and one day Aro came along, he accused Hilda of creating an army to oppose the Volturi.” She went silent and I knew why. We the Volturi have only a few laws, but the major rules are the following. 1. Immortal children are forbidden to create. Reason: They are incapable of self control and that makes them a threat of exposure, this crime is punishable via execution. 2. Allying yourself with children of the moon is prohibited. Reason: They are creatures without reason and mangy mutts this crime is punishable by death. 3.False witness regardless of your intent is forbidden, this crime results in instant execution. Reason: The life of a vampire is Precious and doing something to endanger that of another vampire is a crime. 4. Hunting in Volterra is forbidden. Reason: This is our home and we do not wish suspicion to be brought into our home and our kingdom. We the Volturi have our food brought outside the city. 5. Hunts must be inconspicuous with victims unlikely to be missed, the remains of a corpse must be disposed of and the territory must be changed often. Reason: This is to avoid suspicion, we must remain a myth to the flesh bags. 6. Newborn vampires must be trained before being released on their own. reason: Newborns are savages and uncontrollable they must be educated in our lifestyle to prevent the other rules from being violated. 7. Rebellion against the Volturi is prohibited. Reason: Our word is law; those who oppose us must die. No excuses. Yes it was the 7th rule that Hilda broke and of course that meant death. I looked at Heidi as I could see a hint of emotion in her eyes “Aro had seen into the deepest darkest parts of Hilda’s mind and he confirmed that Hilda, Noela, Mary, Victoria and Anne were plotting against the Volturi, Hilda was killed on the spot which caused the others to escape everyone, but Victoria was killed. Victoria was a slippery one she had this talent for self preservation. Aro saw that I was innocent, that I had no idea what they were plotting and they offered me a place in their coven giving me a new chance at life and I accepted. As for Victoria she had lived her life on the run and as I have been told she was murdered 9 years ago by a vampire named Edward Cullen… leaving me the only survivor of my old family.” She spoke sounding emotionless. I had listened to Heidi’s story and felt no sympathy for her, her story was sad, true enough, but not enough for me to care about her pain. The others had finished and walked to the seats they had all taken their seats one after another “so what do we do next.” Heidi asked curiously, I shrugged it’s not like I had experience with this so I wouldn’t know what we do “I have no idea, perhaps we should end this party while we are ahead and go prepare for the big day tomorrow.” I suggested ever so casually Sulpicia and Athenodora thought it would be a good idea I thanked them kindly for the meal and company and walked out, I was alone when I walked through the castle until Felix stepped in front of me and greeted me. I greeted him back with no emotion. In the last five years our time has been cut short, I no longer had his lessons so the only time we were together was when leaving the castle and that was rare. In fact if not for Corin I probably would have gone insane. Felix asked me to come with him, he wanted to show me something “very well, but hurry up I have prior engagements I must prepare for.” My voice was emotionless. I walked with Felix to a room I had never seen before it looked like a room where weapons were forged “what is this place?” I asked curious Felix had walked to a bucket and picked up a dagger “this is our weapon’s den, for the last five years the masters and I have been working on a weapon… a weapon that will change the history of our species.” I was confused why would we need weapons we are vampires we are superior to humans in every way, we didn’t need weapons to kill them. Felix looked at me when I asked him the question that was now plaguing my mind. “why would we need weapons,” Felix held the weapon by the handle “on December the 31st of 2006 the entire Volturi guard and a hand full of witnesses on our behalf traveled to Forks, Washington for a trial, you see a clan on unorthodox vampires known as the Cullen’s were accused of creating an immortal child a crime as you know is punishable by death. When we arrived we witnessed a large group of vampires opposing us and siding with the Cullen’s over us the keeper of the laws that keep us safe. If that was not enough of an insult the Cullen’s had overgrown pet dogs in huge packs, we the Volturi were outmatched and humiliated. Now their crime turned out to be a mistake due to false witness, but on the way home Master Aro was most displeased so he began an experiment trying to develop a weapon against those who would oppose the Volturi.” I Listened and was shocked that such a thing could happen. I examined the dagger in Felix’s hand “this dagger is useless Sarah, it is not enough to penetrate our skin alone, but the poison on the weapon is, once the poison touches the skin of a vampire it seeps into the skin pores.” I was shocked there was a poison out there that could affect us. I couldn’t believe it. I had asked Felix what the poison was, but the only thing he told me was that it was something Aro had developed using other ingredients of poison. “What are the affects of the poison” I asked Felix curiously. He shook his head, “when we first discovered the poison we tried it on a newborn we turned for experimentation, the poison wore off after a few days, due to the vampire venom but afterward we increased the dosage and when we found the right amount, well there was nothing anyone can do.Sarah and it will weaken you, and it will burn, nothing as bad as the transformation but it will burn, some of the effects of the poison is you can drink and drink blood all you want, but you will never be satisfied you will literally starve until you’re at the point where you’re too weak to move.” I found this entire situation rather intense. Experimentation’s and poisons, but then I realized something “so basically you just upped the dose on the poison to where the vampire’s venom is not enough… but would injecting more vampire venom make an antidote.” I asked Felix, he looked at me surprised, “no one knows Sarah, the thing is taking in the venom of another vampire would be extremely painful, but using the venom of another vampire to help your venom burn off the poison is an interesting idea Sarah.” Felix had spoken. I looked around nervously and watched as Felix placed the dagger in a small sheath and I asked him why he had brought me here. Felix held out the sheathed dagger and told me in these words “This is a wedding present from me to you, if you’re ever in danger I want you to use it.” I looked at him “thank you Felix for this interesting gift if you excuse me now, I must go and prepare, the wedding is in a few hours. I had taken the sheathed dagger and walked back to my bedroom where my wedding dress was on a stand on a mannequin, the dress was beautiful and elegant, Sulpicia and Athenodora picked it out naturally. I walked to the table and placed Felix’s gift on the desk and went back to the dress. I was about to get ready when Sulpicia and Athenodora walked into the room. “Did you really think we would allow you to get ready on your own?” Athenodora asked, Sulpicia came to me and started to pull my clothing off I had known better than to object, “we have many important guest coming for the wedding for you to look less than perfect would shame us.” Sulpicia had spoken and I said nothing. Instead I just stood there in my delicates and with the queens help I was placed in the wedding dress. It had taken many hours to prepare me and get me perfect. The queens and I had left the castle with Corin, Felix and Jane as our guards. We all arrived at the cathedral and went into a small waiting room to wait. Felix watched me with strange eyes and I looked at him for a moment, it was almost time for the wedding and knocks on the door could be heard. I looked at the door as it opened and saw Marcus walking in he was dressed in a black tux and he seemed to be thrilled “what are you doing it’s bad luck to see the bride before the wedding” I had spoken curiously, Marcus ignored me he came towards me and kissed me passionately “you look beautiful pet… I cannot wait to see you say the words I do” he spoke. I placed my hands over Marcus' eyes “neither can I Marcus” I spoke and I was pulling him off me, “but we must follow traditions… you have waited five years, a little longer will not kill you, but if you stay you may curse us with bad luck. Felix please escort Marcus out.” Marcus had let go of me once I had spoken he nodded and left the room and I looked back at Corin, Jane and the queens. The bells went off signaling it was mid-day and the music started that only meant one thing. It was time for the wedding to start. I walked out to the halls, Jane was standing first with rose petals in a basket she was the flower girl, while Chelsea, Corin, Heidi and Athenodora were bridesmaids, Sulpicia was my maid of honor. The music that was playing was Pachelbel's Canon in D major, the doors opened and I watched as Jane walked down the aisle, she looked reluctant to be the flower girl and then I thought it must suck stuck as a 13 year old forever. Eventually the bridesmaids went down and I walked down the aisle alone, as I walked slowly I could see the faces of the many guards from the Volturi and the faces of those I did not know, I soon returned to looking straight ahead and saw Marcus standing there with Aro as his best man. I eventually made it down the aisle and stood there looking a the minister and listening to him babble on about spending the rest of their lives together until death due us part. I agreed and said the vows Sulpicia had written for me, most of the vows were just about being loyal and obedient. Eventually I sealed my future away by saying those words “I do”. With that we were announced husband and wife, did I feel joy?… no... I felt nothing, I thought I loved Marcus and for a while I felt feelings for him, but over the last five years… I am feeling very little if anything that is real I am just going with the motions and doing what I am told to do, things are less difficult that way. We returned to the castle with a select few of the guest the wedding reception was very dull, at least to me everyone seemed to have fun. Marcus of course was thrilled, he asked me to sing for them and so I did, I sung a song for Marcus and saw life in his eyes…. I often wonder how it is that he has the ability to see love in relationships and not see that there is none between us… at least on my half. Perhaps he is in denial. Eventually the party ended and Marcus carried me into his bedroom… our bedroom and he began to undress me slowly and he did the same. he had moved me onto his bed and climbed on top of me... we had sex, and I was faking it, it was horrible… or maybe it was just me, I'm not sure. It's not like I can compare it to any other time, I don’t have memories of anything before the Volturi… I wonder if this was my first time? I decided to give him a wedding present by boosting his ego “you were magnificent Marcus, thank you for making me a women” In truth being with Marcus that way made me felt dirty and saying those words were embarrassing, and made me really want to have a long long shower and scrub every inch of myself. I suppose I have to get used to this, I am the wife of Marcus a queen of the Volturi now… I live only to satisfy his needs. As the old saying goes; behind every man had to be a great woman. I suppose I should be thankful that the saying isn’t the other way around. I must be off now Sulpicia and Athenodora will be here soon. ~Sarah Topic: I repent; repent for the sins I have committed
Date: March, 29th, 2010 Dear diary, How did it come to this, how is it I ended up in this dark dark cellar under guard, of some of the Voltaire’s toughest. I was once a strong and powerful vampire… no I was more than a vampire I was a woman, but now I am just a shell of the woman I used to be, I am weak and torn suffering from a burning agony that consumed me, it has been six months since my last entry, at least I think it has been six months… I have lost track of time, to the point I no longer know if it’s day or night… I have forgotten the scent of the air when it’s night, forgotten the bright lights from the endless stars that hung in the air. I have forgotten what it was like to look into that beautiful blue moon and contemplate on life and it’s never ending mysteries. I think it has been six months since my last feed, since I tasted the warm thick liquid that danced in my throat as I ripped apart a human and drank all their sweet delicious blood. I miss the relief blood brought to sooth the burning thirst, but I have suffered and still am. That was a part of my sentence for the crime I had committed. Even now this entry is recorded not in my diary, but within the walls of my own mind, that is on the verge of insanity. The burning never ends and with each day my physical and mental strength leaves me, oh heavens above the burning will not leave me it only grows with each and passing day and I am only becoming weaker. I am now just a shell, but soon I shall be a broken shell beyond saving. It all started six months ago. I was in the throne room of the Volturi, playing with Toby he was still hesitant and afraid, he didn’t speak, but he was starting to trust me, I knew he was. I was not alone in the great hall, the kings were on their thrones Sulpicia and Athenodora were with them standing behind their men, watching us play. I looked at the wives, we didn’t get along to say the least, needless to say I loathed them for their immorality and the fact they were apathetic to their emotions proved they were sociopaths with no soul or conscious. I played with Toby and watched with curiosity as Jane walked up to both the queens and they whispered amongst themselves, and the three of them left the room together. I remembered thinking that was not a good sign when three evil bitches get together like that it’s either going to involve gossiping or something even worse, they were plotting, at the time I wasn’t worried about them much, I remember thinking how much plotting could a dwarf and two bitches with brooms shoved up their arse do. Felix, Marcus and I eventually went to town; Heidi was kind enough to take care of Toby while we were gone. The shopping trip was entertaining and I enjoyed myself a great deal, I was buying children's toys for Toby trying to buy him things that would keep him busy while I had lessons with Felix or the hags. The trip was cut short when I saw Heidi walking down the streets. I was concerned and went to Heidi “Heidi what are you doing here.” I asked her in a hushed whisper, Heidi looked at me “Jane told me that you had changed your mind and wanted me to come with you.” I looked at Heidi in horror “and you believed her.” I pushed Heidi aside and started to run back to the tower, I wanted to get back to the tower, but knew I was near humans, I had to pace myself and not go at inhumane speed. I ran what could have been compared to that of a turtle, humans are so freaking slow. Marcus and Felix were right behind me we had arrived to the tower and I ran towards my room passing Jane in the hall way, I glanced at her and looked forward desperate to get to my bedroom, I kept on begging in my head “please let him be asleep please let him be asleep” those thoughts were in my head, when I opened the door my eyes widen with true horror when I saw him, my little Toby hanging by a noose from the ceiling, his skin was pale “TOBY” I screamed in horror and I ran to his legs and lifted them, Marcus and Felix came in the room “GET HIM DOWN” I yelled, I continued to hold him up. Felix came and removed the rope from his small neck and I lowered onto my knees holding Toby in my arms, I held him tight “come on Toby breathe, breathe just breathe Toby.” I pleaded with him cradling the small human child, but he wouldn’t move, his eyes were closed. I stroked his hair cradling him, he was so fragile and his skin so pale, I looked at his neck to see a bite mark, a bite mark that would come from a vampire’s bite. Toby’s blood, all of it was drained, there was no pulse, no heart beat… no life. I hugged Toby in and wept cradling his lifeless body. I closed my eyes and thought this was just some cruel horrible day dream, but I knew better this was reality. Marcus came and tried to comfort me, “it’s alright my love, we can go out and get you a new pet, I promise.” Marcus spoke; he did not understand this at all, because he could not see how precious life was. I shrugged Marcus away and continued to hug Toby tearlessly weeping and cradling the body; my heart was breaking with each and passing moment. Heidi and Felix were silent as they watched me. I opened my crimson red eyes and looked at Toby, I thought about his life with us and I realized he had never stood a chance I failed him. “Jane…your dead.” I lowered Toby’s body and stroked his hair one last time I leaned in to kiss his cheek and whispered “I’m sorry Toby forgive me.” I whispered into his ear. I stood up and turned my back on Toby, I would see to it justice was served, for as long as I could remember Jane and I have been at war, it’s time for the war to come at an end there will be no more casualties, not if I could help it. I looked at Marcus, Felix and Heidi and some how Marcus knew what I was going to do, maybe he saw it in my eyes, he could see the killer intent I now had “Heidi warn Jane, Felix stop her.” Heidi bolted out of the room and Felix stepped in front of the door way. I turned from Marcus and walked to the doorway “Felix… first and last warning; get out of my way.” I spoke my voice was apathetic, I was numb to the world. Felix said nothing and continued to block my path. I threw a punch towards Felix’s head, but that punch was not my real attack it was only a feint, my real attack was a sneak punch to his stomach with my other hand. Felix caught both fists and held my wrists “I taught you that move Sarah, it wont work.” A surge of anger came on my face, my best friend was stopping me, blocking my path, Felix could see my anger. I Grabbed Felix’s wrist so we were in a monkey grip and applied my newborn strength I tightened my grip on Felix’s wrist, he was no longer my ally, he was an enemy now and he was standing in my way. I would not allow that. I started to push Felix back into the long hallway and I moved my leg up to try and knee Felix in the gut, the attack was successful and his grip loosened and I let go of his wrist to throw a double open palm punch to the stomach knocking Felix into the wall, he was down and out of my way and I walked down the hallway in a daze, I knew Marcus was standing behind me as I walked away, Felix eventually stood up and ran past me he blocked my path again. Felix stood there blocking my path way, I stopped “Sarah this is your last chance calm down or I will take you down by force.” He threatened, I couldn’t bother to waste my precious rage on Felix, I had bigger fish to fry and her name was Jane. “I have nothing left to loose, I refuse to give up.” I spoke emotionless, Marcus pleaded with me, but I had no words to say to him at the moment, Felix ran ran towards me as he moved in to deliver a strike to my face I stepped slightly to the side and spun around so my shoulder would not connect to Felix body, as I finished spinning I delivered a kick to Felix, but he blocked it. I used an open palm punch Felix in the face knocking him back, I wouldn’t allow Felix the chance to stop me again and as he came in close to throw a punch I had grabbed his wrist with my free hand and delivered an open palm uppercut to send Felix flying through a wall “this is my revenge, no one can stop me from seeking the justice” I spoke as I walked past Felix and continued on. I didn’t care that I was as cold and emotionless as those whom I loathed, all I wanted was to kill Jane I wanted to rip her limb from limb No I decided that would be too quick, Jane’s death should be slow, very slow and very very painful. I Decided I would tackle the bitch and I would pluck out her eyes and squash them like eggs, I would pull out her tongue and knock out all of her teeth, then I would pull pull off her fingers and toes slowly just to hear her muffled screams of agony before I pulled off her limbs and finally I would grab her pale brown hair and pull the bitches hair out before removing her fucking head. Oh yes I had Jane’s death all planned out and as I walked towards her Felix stood up and ran towards me from behind he grabbed my shoulder “Sarah stop please just listen to me.” I stopped and grabbed Felix's hand and I tossed him over me. He hit the ground and I stomped on his chest hard, I ignored the gasp in his voice, I think some part of me deep down hated hurting Felix, but I just couldn’t care. I stepped over him and walked off. Marcus followed after me asking me to calm down, I said nothing and saw Jane leaning on a wall with Heidi speaking to her. Heidi looked afraid. While Jane looked calm like she did nothing wrong, Jane looked at me and I ran towards her I suddenly found myself on the ground in agony. “You think you would learn by now Sarah, I am above you, you cannot harm me.” She spoke in that fake sweet tone, the bitch infuriated me I felt every inch of agony I whimpered out in pain and I thought of Toby, poor sweet innocent Toby whose life was stolen, I wondered did he suffer before Jane killed him. I looked at Jane and pushed myself up “yeah well you know the old saying, you can’t keep a good bitch down.” I spoke emotionless and ran to Jane to tackle her. I punched Jane in the face over and over breaking her line of sight. Marcus arrived and yelled at Heidi to get Alec and she bolted in a flash, oh I knew what Marcus was up to he was going to use Alec to take me down to try and cut my revenge short. I continued to bash Jane in the face and she laughed as her face started to crack and venom fell down her nose Jane was just laughing like it was nothing “hey Sarah did you know what that human’s last words were before I killed him.” I paused my fist was back ready to punch her, a part of me wanted to know, the other part didn’t want to know. “he was crying for his mommy… his real mommy.” I resumed punching her I wanted to get all the hurt out, of me, but I couldn’t cry because I was a stupid vampire. So I settled on punching Jane over and over ignoring her cackle like laugh I kept punching her over and over. Felix came and lifted me off Jane he had me in a bear hug, Alec and Heidi came and I looked at Jane’s badly beaten face that was already starting to heal. She sat up “poor little happy meal trying to replace that what you lost.” She spoke so smugly, my eyes widened, Marcus yelled Alec’s name “wait what do” I couldn’t finish, everything had gone white as Alec used his gift to tame me. When I came to, I had kept my crimson eyes closed as I heard an argument going on between the Volturi Kings. “She has attacked us too many times lets kill her.” The voice was cold and calculating naturally it belonged to Caius, “She is my mate I will not loose her, Jane has provoked her she deserved what was coming to her.” Marcus fought on my behalf. “What you said is true Marcus she is your mate and therefore destined to be a queen, like myself, but you have spoiled her like a child giving her everything she desires she believes she is above the law and that puts us all at risk. She is arrogant and refuses to listen… death is too extreme, she must be punished.” Sulpicia spoke her voice was cold and unforgiving. It was Aro who then spoke “and what do you propose we do with Sarah, Sulpicia”, I found myself curious what would they do to me. I guess death was out of the picture and I was disappointed. “Since Sarah act’s like a spoiled child we must treat her like one, we lock her under lock and key with guards, she will not feed and will not leave her cell until she repents for her sins.” She spoke with bitterness. Marcus spoke telling them all it was too extreme of a punishment. I opened my eyes and looked up at them, Marcus saw me and he stood up and walked to me, and stroked my cheek I looked to the side to see Jane standing there smug and behind her were Athenodora and Sulpicia. “Sarah my love you must repent, tell Jane you’re sorry.” Marcus asked me. I looked at Marcus and “I am sorry Marcus, I truly am.” I spoke softly, I could see Marcus' face for a moment it was frozen and then he smiled. I looked at Aro he seemed relieved “I am sorry I didn’t finish her off.” Aro’s smile vanish “in that case I am afraid I have no choice, but to go with Sulpicia’s suggestion. Sarah in the interest of your own safety I have no choice, but to sentence you solitary confinement you will starve and have no contact from anyone at all until you repent for your crime against the Volturi.” Aro spoke, I looked down and heard Aro ordering Felix to take me away. Felix had carried me far off to a part of the castle that looked unfamiliar it was dark and dirty, Alec opened the door while Felix placed me inside. He lowered me onto the ground and stepped out of the room and closed the door, I did not know how long it was until my thirst became an issue was it hours, days, months I don’t know, when you are continuously in a dark room with nothing in it, no light at all and nothing to keep me busy it became extremely difficult just to function, I would replay what few memories I had in my head, remembering my time with Marcus and Felix on that trip in Australia. I would remember the time Felix and I spoke together on top of the tower, and Toby poor sweet Toby I remembered our time together and regretted how short our time was together. Then there was the most recent memory beating the crap out of Jane, I loathed her, but her words confused me at the end what did she mean by “poor little happy meal trying to replace that what you lost” what did I loose I didn’t understand, I spent a great deal of time pondering that statement, and eventually my thirst reared it’s ugly head burning my throat, leaving me to suffer in agony. The burning just well there is no words for the pain. I couldn’t believe how much it hurt, and over time through the endless hours of darkness I began to weaken slowly, but surely I weakened. Then one day the door opened, I thought it was Marcus finally coming to rescue me, I was wrong. Sulpicia and Athenodora entered the room it was the first time anyone came to visit me in this cell. Sulpicia closed the door behind her, she walked over to me to stand beside Athenodora. Sulpicia had this look on her face a look that screamed victory. “see where your unruly behavior has lead you Sarah, right in a dungeon and all this time without someone to drink, you must be suffering now all this time.” She spoke her voice was full of her own arrogance, I asked the two bitches how long has it been since I was locked up. Their answer was bullshit in my personal opinion “hours, days maybe months” those ruthless sperm dumpsters wouldn’t give me an exact answer, they were just toying with me those bitches. “Such a shame about the death of your human, it makes us wonder you know.” I looked at them with exhaustion “wonder what” I asked them emotionless. “How such a simpleton like Jane ever thought of something so wonderful as in killing your pet in such a fashion.” My eyes widened, as I realized what they meant the pieces had come together, on that very day this was what the three of them were plotting, they were plotting the death of Toby, Athenodora spoke “looks like she finally figured it out.” She sounded pleased with herself. I tried to get up, but Sulpicia pushed me down, “you made fools of us and your unruly behavior is unbecoming of a queen, we did this for the good of the kingdom and your safety. You need to learn, in order to be a queen you must kill your emotions and be obedient to your master’s will, for his word is law.” Sulpicia spoke with certainty she believed every word of it, “I don’t care… the three of us know I won’t be in here forever, so I will say this to you now, when I get out of here watch your backs, because I promise I will kill you both, your days are numbered bitches.” I spoke my voice was weaker than normal. Athenodora laughed and she slapped me across the face before they both left me there to rot away, since then I haven’t seen anyone… I have no idea how long ago that was, maybe a few days or months… I just don’t know, but through all this time suffering and agony I realized that the sperm dumpster queens were right, emotions are useless, in order for me to survive this world, I must kill my emotions and value nothing, treasure nothing… for I have nothing left to treasure. Now that I understood this I sniffed the air and smelled Felix’s scent outside my room “Felix… Felix” I spoke weakly, no one responded “get me out, I am ready to repent” The door opened and I saw the bright light, I covered my eyes not used to the light an saw a shadow walking in. ~Sarah Topic: Is this really who I used to be, why doesn't this feel familiar?
Date: September 26th, 2009 Dear Diary Well It’s a month since my last entry, I have been so busy you will not believe it Marcus has been keeping me so busy & Felix with the lessons on how to defend myself I am getting really good at it, of course there is little Toby too, he is still recovering, but little by little he is getting comfortable, he is naturally attached to me that little scamp, in my free time I have been reading my old diary, I gave it to Marcus before my memory loss apparently. So I decided to rewrite this one entry, just to show you, but you will not believe this my writing…its so unlike me it’s almost as if I didn’t write it, but then if I didn’t write it than who did right? Dear Diary I was given a second chance today, today I was saved by a man. A man so sophisticated and educated, a man whom appreciates the fine arts now how was it I was saved, what put me in danger, well I am so reckless I went around the streets in volterra, I can’t help it I am such a curious woman I just wanted to see the sites, so I went out exploring and I must admit everything is so beautiful and well established, I was walking down the streets a quarter after ten and i was afraid, i felt this shadow watching me stalking me, i would watch over my shoulder haunting me it was frightening, i could feel my heart pound against my chest and i looked foward and pretended not to be afraid of the shadow that was stalking me, instead i walked along the street and heard a glass bottle roll over the floor, i stopped and looked around scared and saw no one was there, but i wasn't alone i could feel it the eyes of the devil himself watching me, preying on my vulnerabilities. enjoying the terror that i felt coursing through my body after looking around to make sure i didn't miss anything i turned and ran forward, I was running, but in a flash a hand stuck out from the alley i was running past and pulled me in, I screamed out and whimpered as i was thrown into a wall I looked at the shadow for the first time and i could see true evil, a force of evil that was haunting me this evening. I looked at the blood red eyes of this demon, he hissed at me and leaned in to lick my neck, i screamed out and he placed his ice cold hand over my mouth and he whispered into my ear "say one more word and i shall kill you oh and i promise you whore it will be a painful death you will burn for agony and you will scream for death i promise you this, so if you wish for a painful death go ahead bitch scream for me... in fact i want to hear you scream, i want to hear you beg for your pathetic life" the man spoke to me, i looked at this man and his beautiful ice cold skin it was dark, and exotic. i closed my eyes and wondered what he would do to me, the pain that awaited. one of my worst fears in this situation came true, the man ripped my blouse open and pulled off my bra and i whimpered afraid and begged quietly for the man to leave me be, I opened my eyes and watched that sinister man touch my breast and it felt like ice was all over me he had the touch of death the touch of ice cold death, thats the words that stuck in my head, because i knew it was true, how else could i explain it that this man who's touch was like ice was touching me and tormenting me, he was going to take the thing that i valued most, my virtue, I don't want my first time to be with a demon in an alley, I want it to be somewhere romantic, with my husband a man who would be smart, dedicated, a man with pride a man who would treasure me and spoil me, he would worship me and give me his heart desire. I closed my eyes and he leaned in and licked my neck, his knee was between my legs as he groaned and continued to toy with my breast and i cried, and continued his sick and twisted pleasure he pulled back and looked at me "alright whore, it's time for foreplay to end." he spoke out and chuckled darkly the man's hand traveled down to that lower reigian, and he pulled down my underwear and unzipped his pants, i called out for hope hoping that i would have a knight in shining armor come save me and at that moments my prayers were answered, a man with pale skin and milky red eyes came and threw the beast off me he went flying as he crashed into the other wall he was up in a flash and he looked at my savior "Marcus you ancient bastard you dare interupt my fun i am not pleased" the exotic man spoke My hero looked at my attacker with killer intent "brian jacobson scourge of our world, have you no shame attacking this beautiful woman trying to taint her beauty and innocence with your filth" the exotic vampire snarled at my hero, and looked at me, i was so afraid when he looked at me, i fell over and cowered in fear, two others joined my hero ariving in a blur one of them was a teenage boy and the other was a brute of a man so muscular and built like a statue. i closed my eyes and heard the voice of my attacker " she is my toy, my possession she belongs to me, marcus you are out of line" he snarled, my hero's name is marcus a wonderful name, "brian you forget, i am one of the three kings, i am the law nothing is out of line for me everything is permitted and this beautiful woman will not be violated by you or anyone i forbid it" marcus sounded like he meant it and brian hissed out in anger, "futher more brian jacobson you are no longer welcome in italy you have 12 hours to vacate safely after those twelve hours you will be killed on sight within italy do i make myself clear." he spoke with authority brian hissed something and the giant man with marcus stepped in front of marcus as if to protect him Brian just muttered something and the big brute hissed at Brian. It was then Brian looked at me "I will make you mine, one of these days I will return and i will reclaim you dead or alive this much i promise you." his voice was cold and emotionless and I knew he meant it. He left in a blur and i could see that Marcus had made a fist out of anger. Marcus turned to face me and his fist vanished, he removed his long black cloak and covered my exposed body, "there there, he will not harm you i promise." Marcus Spoke as he looked at me, i just looked away from him, how could I look at the man who had saved me, when i was exposed. I felt filthy totally and utterly dirty, i just wanted to have a long long shower, I could hear Marcus speak "Alec, knock her out...Felix keep a look out for Brian." Before i could even move my head, everything had gone white There was no feeling, no touching, no seeing or taste no hearing, There was no dreams so i knew i wasn't asleep, I imagined death was something of this sort of experience, I existed in a white void of nothingness. Slowly however everything returned and when my sight returned i found myself in a beautiful bedroom and tucked into a beautiful bed, i checked under the blankets to see i was wearing a night gown, it wasn't ;ong til Marcus returned with the teenager and the big brute I hid my head under the blankets only to hear a chuckle of laughter. The laughter I heard was so enchanting, I peeked from my blanket to see it was Marcus laughing, i smiled shyly and the people with marcus just smiled. "you are such an amusing lady Sarah Frost." I sat up surprised "How did you know my name" I asked Marcus stood there and moved both hands behind his back, i noticed how elegant he looked, he walked a few steps towards the bed and stopped "I have a brother, he is very talented, with one small touch he can see every thought you have ever had. Aro that brother of mine is very curious, he is like a child in some ways...once he saw your thoughts he told me everything." I felt like i had been violated in some way, to have my inner most thoughts and secrets exposed by force it wasn't right. i didn’t know what to say to marcus at that moment, heck i don't even know if he was human he didn't look it he was pale and his eyes it was that exact moment i noticed his eyes they were just like brians. "your eyes" i spoke out quietly he walked another step closer and i flinched from fear marcus looked back at the teenage boy and then back to me "sarah my pet you may have noticed that my associates and i are not exactly normal if you give me the chance to explain i promise you it will change your life forever sarah, for the better. i asked him " if i hear your story am i free to leave once you finished" marcus looked to the brute "if you wish to leave i will permit it" he answered modestly. so i told marcus to start his story and he told me the impossible, marcus and his associates were vampires and marcus himself was not only five thousand years old, but he was one of three vampire kings he told me the highlights of his immortal life as a vampire king and his recent exploits chasing a rouge vampire that vampire was brian jacobson he was a former associate who helped marcus's kingdom ( though they call themselves the volturi ) brian had disobeyed marcus, but because of a technicality brian did not break the law so he couldn’t be punished . when i asked marcus of the laws of the vampires he told me he would explain later, marcus introduced his two associates to me, the brute was named felix while the teenager was named alec. i remember feeling afraid of felix he was like a goliath and i well...i was a little woman. i introduced myself to the two even though marcus or his brother must have surely informed them about who i was they nodded and i removed the blanket that was over my body and climbed out of the surprisingly comfortable bed, i explained to them "marcus i have kept my end of the deal and heard you out, but i am going home now, i need to have a long long shower" marcus then suprised me " i am afraid i cannot permit you to leave sarah" I was shocked, "what, but you told me that if i listened to your story you would let me go home" marcus shook his head "i told you i would permit you to leave, i did not mention you could leave the grounds of our estate." I was outraged at marcus he deceived me, i felt trapped i had no option but to listen as marcus continued " Sarah i will be honest with you, i am attracted to you your my La Tua Cantante everything about you draws me in you are my world and if you only gave me the chance to court you and protect you i promise you wouldn't regret it i can make you happy i know you can be happy with me...please Sarah give me that chance" i looked at marcus not just his fragile yet attractive physique, but i looked at his misty red eyes and saw vulnerability and sincerity. i knew he meant it and for some reason i just said "your words their sincere I can see that you mean it marcus, but i am not sure im ready for a relationship let alone one with a vampire whom is refusing to let me go home" before i continued marcus interupted me, "but sarah my pet this s your home i can give you everything you need" i raised my hand "marcus let me finish, i cant love you, we know nothing about each other...well you know everything about me, but i have no idea who you are...how about we start off as friends" i gave marcus that offer and he graciously accepted the offer . i will admit this whole thing felt uncomfortable, but at the same time it felt oddly comfortable to be with marcus he is such a lovely man unlike that uncouth brian jacobson brian i will never forgive brian the monstrous fiend. marcus explained the laws of the vampires and the reason behind it and he explained my options death or immortality and it may seem like an easy choice, but it's not to grow old you gain wisdom that only the elderly have gained, and then there is the alternative to live forever as marcus's companion to be his mate i know he would love me, respect me and give me my hearts desire he would treat me the way a woman deserves to be treated an animal like that brian jacobson would only violate me over and over until he discards me like trash at least marcus gave me some sort of choice death or immortality with him. Those are the laws he as one of the three kings must enforce. Well i think i might spend some more time with marcus, get to know him ~ Sarah So there you have it thats one of my entries from the diary i gave marcus, but to tell the truth something seems a bit off, i don't connect to those words i mean felix told me before i lost my memory i was strong and defiant, yet in that entry i was submissive and weak it just doesn’t make sense to me i feel that those words that have been written are not my own, but the question i now ask myself is if those words are not my own then who's words are they and why did marcus tell me that these words are mine? i just don’t understand...maybe i am just being paranoid anyway i am going to go hang out with toby and play with the little one ~Sarah Topic: Why is it whenever I need answers I get more questions? date: August 26, 2009 Dear diary, how do I begin to describe last night? Ok from the start, right after my last entry I decided against getting dressed instead I looked at little Toby, I wondered what the verdict of his life was to be, a snack or a pet. I also wondered who the child's voice was, the one that called me momma, I wondered if I would hear it again. Just between us I hope I do hear it again, I really do hope that I get to hear it. I am so in love with that voice it sounds heavenly like music to my ears. As I continued to have thoughts about the voice I decided I would try and ask Marcus about it, but I had to make sure I was away from Aro the nosy one. I watched Toby as he grumbled in his sleep. I sneaked out of my room and went to Chelsea's bedroom to find it was empty I was surprised at it being empty, but figured she probably went out ahead of me. I left her empty room and walked slowly towards the throne room with what felt like butterflies in my stomach I was nervous about everything I decided to take a few moments to compose myself. I mean Caius would be there and that jerk would be picking at me like kid picking his boogers... ok that's a revolting image in my head, but in all fairness Caius is revolting so it sort of balances itself out. I walked towards the wall and leaned against it. I closed my eyes and told myself to calm down, and decided the best way to get collected and have a calm state of mind was to drown everything out with silence to concentrate all on the silence. I closed my crimson red eyes and breathed slowly and deeply sucking in air that was completely unnecessary and exhaling it I concentrated on the silence around me listening to the nothingness and continued then I heard something faint "very well I shall put this issue aside Aro, but if she breaks the law she will be killed, Marcus' mate or not." the voice had belonged to Caius and as usual he seemed pissed, but the conversation that I heard had me confused I decided to try and listen in to see if I could hear anything else "excellent excellent I am very pleased that we could settle the matter and curious to see Sarah's reaction. That newborn is an interesting creature full of surprises she is. I am very curious to see how she will handle this. Anyway enough of her let us press to more important matters the project we are working on have you had any more ideas on how to improve the effectiveness of the ..." before I could catch the rest of what Aro spoke I felt someone touch my shoulder. I jumped up in shock and turned around to see it was Marcus. Felix would have been so ashamed of me to see me let my guard down. He is right I am very sloppy lately and that is unacceptable I made a note to work harder in future "did I startle you my love" Marcus asked me. I nodded my head "yes you did Marcus, but your the kind of surprise I like" I answered him and leaned in to kiss his lips, he chuckled as I pulled back "but I think it would be a good idea to get a bell and put it around your neck just so I know where you are" Marcus broke into a soft laughter and wrapped his hands around me "Sarah my love what are you doing here your meant to be in the throne room to hear the verdict on the pet" he spoke out his voice was soft like silk and I bit on my bottom lip "I am nervous on the verdict so I thought I would take a moment to compose myself before facing Caius and Aro, what about you Marcus I thought you would be in the throne room with the others for the verdict." I asked him. I thought about asking Marcus about this project I had just heard them talk about, but I thought it was best to ask in a subtle way so he did not think I was listening in. Marcus' misty red eyes looked liked they sparkled with excitement "I was preparing for our date" I smiled and for the first time noticed Marcus' attire. He wore a black business suit with a white undershirt and a black tie the tie however was crooked, other than that he was very formal I straightened his tie out "someone is eager, our date is not till tonight you're a few hours too soon Marcus" my voice chimed with joy "well Sarah my love. Why not go on the date after our little meeting in regards to that child" Marcus' voice spoke soft as silk velvet, he had leaned in as he spoke and I could smell his sweet breath "oh I would love to my love, but I'm afraid I have prior arrangements" I told him seductively "oh" Marcus' let out curiously, the king seemed surprised that I had plans "what are you doing" that silk velvet voice asked curiously "you know curiosity killed the cat" I replied playfully. Marcus' had this smile on his face and a sparkle in his eyes so full of life " good thing I am a vampire king and not a cat so it's safe to tell me what you are plotting in that devious mind of yours." I giggled "why is it people always think I'm plotting something I'm a good girl honest" I defended myself in a playful voice, I could hear Marcus scoff at me and I poked out my tongue at him and Marcus leaned in to kiss me he slipped in his tongue and it felt weird for a moment. I pulled back after a moment "to answer your question I am going out with Chelsea we are going shopping so yeah its just going to be Chelsea, Felix and myself. " Marcus' face changed from joy to concern "I am sorry baby girl , but Felix is busy with the pro...uh I mean Felix is busy why not take Heidi she loves shopping. I am sure she would appreciate the time out" I had only half heard Marcus, see something happened something strange when Marcus called me baby girl there was another voice and that voice was deeper more alluring and seductive. That voice called me baby girl too at the same time. First its the voice of a child calling me momma and now its the voice of a man calling me baby girl. Diary you're going to think I am crazy, because I already think I am crazy but I am sure that voice, well both voices are a part of my past. Marcus was beginning to look at me strangely and I snapped out of the thoughts and pushed the voice aside. I focused on Marcus and the realization that Felix had some part in this secret project "oh" was all I could bring myself to answer. I should have pressed on to the topic of the project, but I could not bring myself to do it instead I excused myself and told Marcus we had to go to the verdict of the child. Marcus asked if I was ok that I was different suddenly and I forced myself to smile to hide my troubled expression. "I am totally fine just excited about the verdict now... I am getting a good feeling about this" I lied, Marcus smiled "alright Sarah let us go and see the verdict." he grabbed my hand and gave a tug, I walked with Marcus, did I feel at ease, no. So many things were troubling me and I wondered if by asking to keep Toby had I bitten off more than I could chew, could I cope with all these lessons I am going through, raising a child and now to keep my distance from Aro so he doesn't know these new and unsettling thoughts of a child calling out to me, and a mystery voice calling me baby girl. We made it to the throne room and Marcus stood by my side and had his hand around me, Chelsea, Felix, Alec and Jane stood at the side while Renata stood behind Aro as he sat on the throne. I haven’t spent that much time with Renata, but I wouldn't mind getting to know her in the future, she rested her hand on Aro's shoulder, I recalled hearing from Felix that Renata had the ability to protect Aro, she was some sort of shield. He told me during a lesson with him when he lectured me in the importance of long range combat. "Sarah my dear we have most pleasant news for you." Aro spoke, I remained quiet for a moment "How wonderful Aro, I look forward to hearing this good news." I replied innocently. Aro remained seated on his throne, while I looked at Caius for a moment he seemed pissed like someone who was constipated, I quickly returned my glances to Aro "Sarah we have decided to allow you to keep this pet of your's on a trial basis. You should understand if you turn the child you shall be punished as the law mandates and there is no exceptions. So if you decide to feed on the child you will finish what you started are you clear." I nodded my head "Perfectly, Aro... Caius, and Marcus of course I humbly thank you for allowing me to keep this child, I vow to do everything in my power to respect your conditions and the law of course." I curtsied and looked to both the brothers while Marcus remained at my side, I could hear Jane scoffing at me while everyone else was quiet "you're all excused, Felix your to stay behind... Jane and Alec fetch our special guest the one who broke the law by exposing himself to a human." The twins left and Chelsea ran to me she grabbed my hand "lets go shopping now, don’t worry I have my hubby watching the pet... come." I smiled and bit on my bottom lip now that I could keep Toby I wanted to be with him all the time, but I made an engagement and it would be rude to break it. Chelsea and I left without saying good bye and she puled out her purse from her jeans pocket, we ran out together and I could hear Marcus yell "Have fun baby girl." I smiled and ran with Chelsea to the lift, we got in, and I found myself on an emotional high, I was high, I got to have a child... a boy named Toby. Chelsea and I left the lair and went shopping, and i ended up buying a beautiful dress very beautiful it was long and white and it was like a ball gown. Chelsea ended up buying a black knee length cocktail dress. I thought she looked good in it, but for some reason I was drawn to the white dress. On the way home Chelsea and I spoke and she asked me a lot of strange questions the two that stood out the most were: Sarah do you miss being able to remember your past? and Sarah have you ever tried to use your gift on yourself? Well of course I missed my past, I wish i could remember how I met that sweetheart Marcus, to know what my life was like as a human, was I a happy human...did i have a dream? I answered Chelsea in the best way I could "well Chelsea I would love to remember my past, I wish I could remember what my life was like, I wish I could remember so many things, and I have used my ability on myself... whenever Jane used to curse me with pain, I used my ability to push myself up... Chelsea when you're inspired you never know what comes over you, what sensations you feel, it's never the same, but the thing is I have always limited myself when I use my own ability because the sensations... it's like I'm on steroids I can literally feel the power coursing through me like adrenaline and if I am not careful I don't know what will happen." I confessed to her that I would never try anything that drastic, my power to inspire enpowered others and it helped me too, but I had no idea what would happen if I went all out. We returned home with the ball gown in the outfit case and I went to Chelsea's room, where I got dressed in it and Chelsea did my hair up. She stepped back when she finished "wow you look amazing" she spoke in awe, I smiled and thanked her, after getting up Chelsea and I went to my bedroom to see the little one was up and sitting in the corner. He was afraid of us and Afton and he had good reason to be after everything he had seen. I went to sit beside the child and he flinched "shhh Toby it's ok I am not going to hurt you, I am going to take care of you." the child quieted down "stay in here with aunty Chelsea and I will be back soon ok, I have one last thing to do today and then I am all free tomorrow I promise I will explain everything... and I will bring you back some nice toys tonight and food I promise" I wondered if the little human could understand just how risky things were "O...ok" he spoke, there was a knock at my door and the kid jumped up a little afraid, Chelsea opened the door and Marcus stepped in "I will be back soon, promise." I told the boy and stood up. Marcus looked at me in awe "sarah... you." he was in awe "yeah I know I look ugly" I spoke with a shy smile. "no never, I was trying to say you look like a lady." my shy smile grew wider "don't get used to it." I told him and he chuckled "I would not have you any other way my dear sweet Sarah." Marcus placed his hand out and I walked to him to take it. I waved to the child as Marcus pulled me out of the room, and while we walked towards the elevator I wondered if they would allow me to call Doctor Phil to help Toby, the thing is if I did get that we would probably have to kill or turn Doctor Phil he has such moral integrity I doubt he would be able to take a bribe or keep this a secret... Doctor Phil, well he is an amazing doctor, but good in small doses. We went up the lift and Macrus held me close, he kept telling me how beautiful I looked and I told him "you're still not hitting a home run, not until our wedding im no harlot" I informed him. Marcus was quiet for a moment and I glared at him. We walked out of the lift and we stopped by one of the guards, to my surprise Marcus told the guard to fetch Toby food and entertainment, I asked marcus why he did it, "I don't like the fact that you're keeping pets, but what I find worse is the thought that you have another duty on your plate, I want to help lighten your load whatever way I can." I gushed a little how could I stay mad at that, that sweetheart. We left the lair and I wondered what sort of date Marcus had planned for us, we walked through town and I noticed that Corin and Santiago were walking close behind us. We walked together when Marcus stopped in front of what looked like a night club "are you serious, we are going to a night club?" I asked Marcus. He nodded "shhh let us enter" he spoke and pulled my hand, it was then that I notice a lot of people seemed to be pulling on me lately. We entered the club, but it was empty which you have to admit is very unusual for a night club. I was curious, how could a night club be empty and why wasn't there any music "I rented out this night club just for you Sarah, we can dance here all night if you want to." Marcus whispered into my ear. I smiled and the music began to start playing, Silly Love Songs by Darren Criss the lights dimmed as the music began and together the two of us danced, and oh my gosh it was so beautiful I don't think I have ever been romanced in this way before. The song ended and so many other love songs were playing and we danced. It was at 11 pm that we left the night club and Marcus and I returned home, instead of going back inside I took him to Felix's tower where he went to be alone and we sat there looking at the beautiful stars. We enjoyed a comfortable silence and Marcus suprised me with a present "I hope you can forgive me for loosing it Sarah, I have so many books. I really need to organize my things, but this is your old diary you gave to me to read so you could show me just how much I mean to you and I must say I never knew you felt emotions this deep for me." I looked at the diary, this book held the truth about my past. I wanted to read it right away, I carefully placed it to the side and I leaned in to kiss Marcus' cheek to thank him. We actually sat up there till sunrise and when I came back to my bedroom little Toby was sleeping, he sleeps a lot for a kid... oh well it cant be helped I think I will leave now and read some of my old diary entries until Toby wakes up then I will get him dressed, feed him and take him on a tour. I may share some of my old diary entries with you, but rest assured diary I wont dwell on the past. Sarah Topic: Who is the mystery voice?
Date: August 25th 2009 Dear diary, It's just about been a month since my last entry, I have been very busy in the month. I have had 10 lessons on being a queen from the hags, and lessons on using my ability and learning the limitations of it. I have learned to inspire myself without singing. I can't supercharge my own ability yet and doubt that I can, but I do find myself becoming stronger, determined and more resilient and able to endure a lot more than anyone else. The biggest change is the peace in Volterra. The twins are getting along slowly, see my guard squad has changed usually it's just Alec and Felix, but now it's Felix and Chelsea. Alec and Jane are guarding Aro, Marcus and Caius. The two sometimes go out with Heidi to lure in some humans. Heidi seems to have a lure about her, she can attract anyone. I guess it pays to live in the age of the perverts. The twins pick up younger children and women with a motherly instinct, for dinner. I can never bring myself to killing children. I don't really know why. It happened last week I had just finished off a blond female who looked like she made it a habit to skip two out of three meals a day and I saw this little child shaking in a corner. I walked to the shaking child looking at his pale skin and black hair and ocean blue eyes. I loved those eyes they were so amazing. I mean when I looked into those eyes it was like looking into the ocean. I walked to the child slowly and crouched in front of him. "hello kid what is your name?" I asked the boy quietly. Marcus, who was sitting at the throne watching, had moved over to my side and placed his hand on my back and rubbed it "I think the little human is afraid my love... you have blood all over your face and clothing my messy baby girl" I looked up at Marcus and he smiled he bent down to lean in and kiss my face and licked up the blood around my face cleaning me. While Marcus did that I could hear the little boy whimper from fear and my blood red eyes looked at the boy. "shhhh it's ok no one will hurt you, can you tell me your name little boy?" I asked him, the boy closed his beautiful ocean blue eyes and whimpered "Toby" the name Toby was such a beautiful name, I smiled at the child and stroked his cheek ignoring him flinch from my ice cold touch. "wow Toby what a lovely name my name is Sarah" I told the child my voice was soft. I placed my hand out to shake his hand, but the boy didn't shake it "you want to be a proper little man don't you Toby?" the boy nodded his head slowly and I could not help, but smile "well little one its proper etiquette to shake a person's hand when you introduce yourself to them. It's very rude not to shake a person's hand when you introduce yourself." I told the boy, keeping my hand out. The boy moved his tiny pale hand to mine and shook it, he shivered from my cold skin and after shaking my hand he quickly let go. I asked Toby his age and he used his hand to tell me he was 5. I returned to standing upright and Marcus wrapped his arm around me, I did not know why I had this weakness for children, it's not like I am a mother or mother material. I looked at Marcus with misty red eyes as he looked at me. I ignored the curious eyes of Jane, Alec, Felix,Demetri, Heidi, Chelsea, Renata, Aro and Caius. "Marcus my love can I keep him." I asked. Marcus looked at me surprised "you wish to keep a human Sarah, but why it's a human it's nothing, but food." he spoke disregarding Toby's life. I looked down sad, I did not understand how he could be like that... just because he was a human. I flinched at his words for reasons unknown to me, I guess I did not want to think of seeing another dead child. The memories of Jane feasting from a human child not long ago haunted me. Marcus could see my reaction and how I looked down at the ground, he moved his finger to my chin to lift it up he looked at me with a smile on his face. The smile gave him a peace of serenity "forgive me baby girl... I sometimes forget your just a child yourself, you still hold some value in humanity... this would be interesting... a child raising a child" he stopped and started to laugh quietly with each passing second it grew a little louder and louder. He was amused, the others just watched Marcus with astonishment, it's like they have never seen him break out into laughter before. I looked at Aro the surprised look on Aro's face slowly turned into a smile. I hated Aro's smile it was fake and sneaky... he reminded me of a rat rubbing it's little paws together like it was plotting something diabolical come to think of it I'm not that keen on rats either. Marcus settled down and he pulled me in as close as he could till our two bodies were touching each others, he rested his chin on top of my head "Keeping a human child is a pretty big ask Sarah and a risk to exposure, I cannot make this decision lightly or alone... let me talk to my brothers" he spoke. I smiled and wrapped my arms around Marcus tightly. "thank you" I spoke happily. If only my heart could beat it would be singing with joy through thumping melodies. I looked at Toby and broke out of Marcus hug to crouched down and smiled at the human "I am going to take you to my room and we will play lots of games Toby, i promise to take good care of you." the boy said nothing he just looked at me. I guess he is still traumatized about seeing all the dead people on the ground. "Sarah that will have to wait you have a lesson scheduled with me." Felix spoke out, he walked over to me and I smiled. I loved lessons with Felix, the thrill of sparing with Felix to fight and become stronger it's such a rush. I looked at little Toby and walked to Chelsea we had become a lot closer in this last month, she appreciated the jewelery I gave her from my holiday and the sincerity that I wanted nothing more than her friendship. Chelsea was watching me curiously "Chelsea have you got your thirst under control?" I asked her softly, she nodded her head "do you think you could take the little one to my room and keep him occupied for a little while?" I asked her, she looked anxiously at Aro and he nodded his head "yes Chelsea that would be a wonderful idea." he spoke giving her permission Chelsea walked to Toby and picked him up I watched the boy shiver from Chelsea's ice cold touch. I watched her carry Toby out of the room and down the hall to my bedroom I was excited about the little boy and hopeful that Marcus would allow me to to keep the child. I was surprised Caius spoke to me "you... newborn" I looked from the hallway to Caius, he seemed to be angry, "we have laws as you full well know it is forbidden to create immortal children such an act is punishable by death" he hissed out. Jane was helping Alec and Demetri clean up the dead corpses "maybe we should let her turn the flesh bag" she muttered" I looked at Jane "silence" Caius hissed at Jane. I was surprised that Jane said nothing, but returned to picking up the corpses and cleaning up "Caius that was never my intention my idea was to raise the child until it comes of age." Caius was in front of me, his face inches from me "you will show me respect you shall call me master" I looked at Caius he was so intimidating "you're going to be my brother-in law why should I call you master?" Caius moved his hand to slap me, but before I knew it I was holding his wrist. He looked at me with a mixture of shock and rage "you dare touch me" he snarled "I'm sorry" I whispered in an instant I felt worried it was a split second later that my worry disappeared and I felt rage "hey wait a minute I take that back. You tried to slap me. What the hell is that all about you jackass?" I spoke back with anger, my grip on his wrist tightened "you never and I repeat never hit a woman" I snarled at him with rage, the shock in Caius' expression vanished and all that remained was anger "I am your king I will do as i please perhaps I should have Jane remind you of your place" I did not look away from Caius, but felt Marcus from behind me wrap his arms around me "shhh Sarah calm down its ok" Marcus kissed my neck and I released Caius from my grip. I looked at Caius and hated him and I could see he hated me too, fiercely, but then again Caius hated everyone so I guess I shouldn't worry. Maybe he and Jane could start an I hate Sarah club, it would be interesting to see who would be president of the club if they ever made it. Knowing Caius he would probably kick and scream like a child until he got his way. I think Caius is an asshole all the time because he is jealous that Aro and Marcus have gifts and he hasn't got any. I did not resist Marcus' touch as he tried to calm me, it was sad to say I wasn't completely calmed, I looked from Caius to Aro and noticed him standing up from his throne chair and he walked toward Caius, Marcus and myself, each step he had taken was soundless, like a feather floating to the cold stone ground, I watched Aro carefully and knew he wanted to diffuse the situation between us, you know I just noticed this, but I seem to have a knack for pissing people off. I guess I am too confrontational for some people. I guess it's just a natural reflex for me, I mean having lost my memory I lost not only my memories, but my identity everything I knew and everything I was vanished. I had to learn who I was from scratch. I went from a confused woman to a coward and from a coward to a headstrong and brave woman. I am still trying to find my way, I don't think we can fully know ourselves until the moment before our death. So yeah when you go through so much you're bound to be confronting. Aro placed his hand on my shoulder and every thought I had since he touched me last he now knew, I could keep no secrets from Aro. well almost no secrets, I think I had one, Aro thought I had some plan and some how I managed to keep it from him, ever since the memory loss Aro touches me often, my theory is he wants to see if i regained my memories he wants to know my secrets real bad, well I wouldn't mind knowing my thoughts either. I looked at Aro's face and he plastered that fake smile on his face. Aro let go of me with the knowledge he had stolen from me probably swirling in his head, "now now everyone calm yourselves there is no need to loose your temper we are all friends here Sarah perhaps you should go have that lesson with Felix" Aro's words to agitate Caius, as he just scoffed and walked off to his throne and sat there, I could feel Marcus' grip around me tighten as he kissed my neck again "Marcus I think Aro is right I should go have that lesson with Felix, but how about we go out after my lesson, tonight we can stroll the town and watch the stars" I offered Marcus an idea for a date. There was silence for a moment as Marcus kissed my neck yet again. I smiled "yes that sounds like such a wonderful idea my love. yes go have your lesson and I will talk to my brothers about your pet human ok." he spoke his voice was like velvet he leaned in to kiss my cheek this time and let go of me. I smiled at Marcus as he walked off with Aro to talk with Caius. Eventually Jane and Alec were finished cleaning the corpses from the floor, I looked at the small splatters of blood on the ground that were yet to be cleaned. The thing is we don't leave much of a mess feeding, well if your a mature vampire you don't I am what you all a newborn I am new to being a vampire and I don't have as much practice as the others, so yeah it gets messy, but someone must have been in a rush to finish to actually have blood spill onto the floor. I wondered if it was Felix, he seemed to love our sparing sessions as much as I do. Felix is probably my best friend in all of the Volturi I can't imagine going through all this without Felix at my back. Felix is my rock and my center he gives me encouragement and he is so protective of me. Felix walked up to me as I watched the twins pile up the bodies for the low level guards to dispose of the corpses. Jane was wiping her hand as if she had just picked up an object covered in mud while Alec had his arms folded and glanced at the corpses the look on his face told me he was contemplating something important. I felt Felix touch my shoulder "Sarah I think we will have our lesson outside today, I suggest you go get changed." I snapped out of my thoughts on the twins and looked down at my jeans and black top, i could see the blood stains on my top and jeans and yes I could see that this did bring attention to myself. I nodded my head "do not get distracted by the child Sarah, take your clothing and get dressed we have no time for pets today" I looked at Felix confused and then remembered the little boy I had saved and asked Marcus if I could adopt. I nodded and walked towards my bedroom. While I walked to my bedroom I wondered why the Volturi had no regard towards the lives of humans I guess I can understand a little of why the Volturi may disregard humanity, I mean humans wage war on one another and kill for no reason at all, they do horrible horrible crimes too and this has gone through out history. I mean look at the concentration camps the Jewish people were put through, look at the slavery men, women and children were put through just for the color of their skin. These are just a small part of humanity's dark dark past. They have so much more, but if you compare them to us vampires... well we don't do any of that we only kill humans to feed... most of us so yes I guess compared to vampires humans are animals... nothing, but meals and pets. I think the more time I stay with Marcus the more I am starting to lose the value of human life. So I walked down the hallway and stopped by Chelsea's room to see her with Afton in the room I was surprised to see this since I had asked Chelsea to watch the little boy for me. "Uh Chelsea what's going on, where is the child?" I asked her softly, I was concerned "the child is asleep on your bed so I decided to come back to my bedroom to relax with my man... I do hope that's alright" Chelsea spoke to me, I nodded my head. Well if the child was asleep then I guess that is alright, I mean it's not like the child could escape us, we would hear the pitter-patter of the boys small human feet and we could hear the pounding of his small heart beating away and pumping blood through his body, we could smell his scent, the scent of vanilla... I liked the scent of vanilla its really nice. "well that's fine Chelsea you did good, let the little one sleep the poor child has gone through such an ordeal I hope he will recover from it." I spoke concerned for the little child. I adored the child everything about him especially his name, call me crazy, but the name Toby sounds so familiar to me. I don't know why the name Toby is so familiar to me. "the younger pets are more resilient, I am sure he will bounce back from this... if the masters decided to let you keep him anyway Sarah what are you doing going to your room i thought you had a lesson with Felix today." Chelsea told me I nodded "I do, I was just on my way to my bedroom to get changed since my current attire is all bloody, but since the little one is sleeping I guess I will have to go out like this" I told her. Chelsea looked to her mate and he nodded his head and walked out of the room and Chelsea smiled "I can't allow a future queen of the Volturi to walk out messy, it would be a disgrace. I have some spare clothing let me loan you a dress." she spoke cheerfully. I smiled it was so nice of Chelsea, a dress would not be practical to wear during a combat training session, but I did not want to refuse Chelsea's offer and risk hurting her feelings, especially since we are just starting to get along. I nodded my head "thank you Chelsea your such a lifesaver" Chelsea smiled and went to her walk in closet I followed her and I could not believe how much room she had in there. Chelsea picked out a beautiful long black dress. I removed my blood stained clothing and placed on the beautiful black dress Chelsea pulled the rubber band from my hair to let it bounce to my shoulders "you look beautiful Sarah" Chelsea told me, I smiled shyly "thank you Chelsea this dress really is beautiful" I told her. Chelsea nodded her head and I was surprised that she offered me some jewelery as accessory’s after politely declining I left the Chelsea's room and decided to go check in on the little one. I was surprised to find Jane at the door of my bedroom "what are you doing here Jane shouldn’t you be with Alec" I spoke a little worried. I did not want that child eating dwarf anywhere near the little one. "I just came to look for you Felix is getting restless" she spoke emotionless, I knew Jane she was a soulless sociopath and a liar, if Felix was restless he would have came looking for me on his own accord. After all Felix was my guard he would come himself "sure whatever now that you told me your message you should leave now....I'm sure Alec is waiting on you" Jane gave me her usual cold look "yes he is waiting on me!" she spoke putting an emphasize on herself. I let out a sigh and watched as Jane left and slowly opened the door to my bedroom to see little Toby sleeping on the bed. I closed the door and calmly walked down the hallway to get back to Felix. I had many worries troubling me, first off was the child, would Aro, Caius and Marcus let me keep him, then I have my lessons with my ability, queen lessons and combat lessons, and now I had to worry about Jane eating the child. How will I keep Jane away from him? The little human is precious to me...there is no way the kings or Marcus would ever allow a protection detail I would have to be sneaky about this. An idea had already formulated in my mind. I walked off with my arms folded back past Chelsea's room and she stopped me. "hey Sarah wait" I stopped and looked at Chelsea at the doorway she was holding a black hooded cloak "here put this on" she spoke calmly. I took the cloak and placed it on. It would take me a while to get used to Chelsea being nice to me. "hey Chelsea thanks, its really nice of you" Chelsea smiled "no problems hows the pet?" i sighed "still sleeping the poor little boy, and I'm worried, Jane was at my door and we both know that little sociopath is never up to anything good." I spoke a little down "I see well you are right about Jane, she is never up to any good. I can keep an eye on whats his name... spot right" I sighed "his name is Toby" I spoke and again the name sounded sort of familiar. Chelsea rolled her eyes "yeah yeah I'll keep an eye on spot for you, but later on you and I going out shopping" Chelsea made me smile "yeah sure how about next week, I want to take the time to settle Toby in and I got lessons to attend... crap" I spoke realizing Felix was still waiting on me. I ran down the hallway moving as fast as I could. I got to the hallway to see Felix standing there tapping his foot with his arms folded "about time" he spoke disgruntled he lowered his arms and walked closer to me he pulled up one side of the cloak "h..hey what are you doing" I spoke out shocked, "you're wearing a dress, your movements will be hindered by it" I frowned "well little Toby is sleeping I didn’t want to wake him up so Chelsea lent me some clothing" Felix rolled his eyes as I spoke "the masters haven’t even agreed to let you keep the pet and here you are going out of your way for the stupid pet" he spoke sounding a little annoyed. I looked at Felix and pouted a little "I am sorry Felix I did not mean to get distracted" I spoke softly, Felix dropped the cloak and folded his arms for a moment he looked at me with those dark red eyes and smiled "well then I guess I can overlook this just this once Sarah and as long as you try your best I guess I can over look this inconvenience" I smiled and moved to Felix to hug him and he stayed still as a statue for a few moments and then lifted one hand to put it on top of my head. I guess this was how Felix showed affection. I smiled as I let go "thank you forgiving me Felix you are a wonderful teacher and even better friend” I spoke softly. I examined Felix's face and saw he was uncomfortable for some reason, we both walked together side by side and made it outside, the sky was a dark gray like there was a storm that would soon come to bring an onslaught of cold rain, not that I could feel hot and cold anymore. we stopped out in the middle with the sun masked by the dark clouds it was safe for Felix and I to be outside so our skin did not sparkle like the night sky if any humans saw us they would probably think us to be some pale foreigners from Alaska or something. I watched Felix’s troubled face and found myself curious wondering what was troubling my mentor and best friend "ladies first" he announced and I nodded my head "yes" I spoke a little worried for Felix. I decided the best way to work on his mood was to do my best during training, so I ran at Felix and jumped up high half way towards him, I went high and had the heel of my ankle out. I was aiming for the shoulder or head, this sort of kick was called an ax kick because my move was coming from above and I'd have one leg sticking out with the heel of my leg as the sharp point. Normally I did ok with this move, but today was different, something wasn't right I couldn't get my legs all the way apart, something was messing my movements up. Felix stepped back half a step if my movements weren’t hindered my ax kick would have landed on his shoulder. I landed on the ground my ankle hitting it made a small crater which caused an upsurge of dust and small rocks flying around. If I was fighting a human I could use this dust to attack and kill them, but this was different I was fighting Felix. We were on equal grounds, well almost Felix had more strength and experience. I watched as Felix charged the dust smoke with his fist. His fist came to my head and I moved to use both of my hands to catch Felix, fist only to feel a powerful punch hit me in the gut the pain was incredible it forced me to bend over. The next thing I knew I felt Felix whack me in the back with both his fists gripped together to make a hammer fist. I hit the ground hard "sloppy Sarah very sloppy from you, I expected better. Now get up" he spoke out, his voice had this tone of disappointment and I hated that I was disappointing Felix, I really did. I forced myself up, but it was difficult, the fabric of the dress was making it hard to move, of course I could break the fabric with no problems, but I was being careful not to, since the dress was not mine and then it hit me that's what was affecting my movements, the dress. I managed to stand up and heard Felix speak "come on Sarah stop wasting my time what are you going to do train or go to a tea party" he baited me trying to light that short fuse that was my temper. And let me tell you, it worked it also confused me "tea party?" I asked raising my left eyebrow, Felix nodded his head his facial expression changed "that feint you did the one where you threw a punch aimed at my face as a distraction only to use your other fist to punch me in the gut that move was genius, but that move will not work on me twice" I told Felix in awe of the genius behind that move. I removed Chelsea's cloak and let go of it the wind lifted the cloak letting it float away thanks to the current of the wind I watched the cloak flow away on what I would call the winds of the change the season. I would call it this because I have decided that while I did my best before to fight and cheer Felix up I would now do my best to defeat him. I concentrated on Felix I felt so many emotions, but I could not concentrate on them because Felix had decided he would use this moment to try and take me down. Felix charged me and threw a punch I tried to evade by stepping to the side, but once again my dress had gotten in the way. Instead of taking a full step my step was smaller and resulted in Felix moving his fist around that struck me across the face. I stepped close to the man and with open palms I pushed Felix away and watched him as he ran towards me with swift speed Felix’s movements were incredibly soft, it was like he was actually floating instead of running. His movements were graceful thanks to vampire speed and agility. I had to admit Felix's moves were magnificent it was like ballet... no not like ballet it was like his movements were light and at the same time his movements were sharp, I guess the best way to describe Felix's moves is like the blade of a sword. That floated delicately like a feather. Felix was right in front of me and instead of thinking of how to evade him I was thinking of many different things like how I could beat Felix, how to handle Jane, how to get Marcus and the others to allow me to keep Toby with all those thoughts I found myself distracted. I could not evade Felix as he threw out a punch with such grace and force that the impact sent me flying off the ground and into the air. I landed on the ground and the dust around me was unsettled, as it floated around me I sat up and frowned "pathetic Sarah you can do better than this" I felt rage boil within me. Felix was giving me such a hard time, well at the time I thought he was, but the truth was he was pushing me, trying to get me to improve, to become stronger and improve so if I ever needed to defend myself I would know how. The problem was I could not see past the anger I felt, so I did not see the real motivation behind Felix's taunts all I saw was my own anger "I'm sorry I" before I could finish to tell him about the thoughts that plagued my mind. Felix interrupted me "Sarah when you're on a battle field you concentrate on three things; the first is your opponent, the second is your surroundings, and the third is your capabilities. Everything else is a distraction that will lead to your death." I looked down ashamed, he was right those distractions could very well lead me to my death. "I am sorry I was just thinking about the little one I mean he has gone through so much and must be so frightened missing his mommy and daddy" I spoke. Felix folded his arms and rolled his eyes "I should have known you would be worried about that pet Sarah, I have a duty not just as your body guard and mentor, but as your friend to look out for you and to teach you to survive if you don't concentrate" he stopped and broke eye contact from me for a moment he was looking down, it was like he was building up the courage to tell me some bad news, he managed to look at me with determination in his eyes and a sense of conviction he had this presence about him like he was sure of what he was doing without doubts at least that’s what I thought. Maybe I was just imagining it, but what he said next threw me off "I will be forced Sarah to tell the masters that my assumptions were right, that having a pet is too much of a distraction and I will recommend to the masters that it is killed." I looked at Felix in shock, I always thought he was different than the others that he showed a sense of humanity and kindness that he has always shown me. I closed my eyes and made a fist, I could feel something strange inside me it was fear, not for myself, but for Toby. I thought about him I wanted him to live a happy life to be safe. And as i thought about what i wanted for the child I heard something a voice, this voice it was like an angels voice it was beautiful "Momma" it was a child’s voice, but the strange thing was it wasn't Toby's voice and I didn't exactly hear it. Ok it's like this, it's like remembering the way a friend sounds, like you can hear their voice in your head... the strange thing is the voice is real familiar. And at the exact moment of hearing that memory of an angelic voice saying "Momma" it changed something within me it made me smile, my skin tingling and I felt like I was empowered by this mysterious power so that anything was possible to me and there was no limitations that i could not transcend. I opened my eyes and looked at Felix I kept that smile planted on my face as I felt strength course through my body "oh Felix you have no idea what you have just done... you have set something in me on fire and I swear by the heavens above Felix that I have never felt so strong in my entire life" I told him confidently I had myself inspired and because I had used my gift to inspire myself there was nothing I could not do, everything was possible to me. I bent down and at the sides of the dress I borrowed from Chelsea I ripped that fabric right up to my thighs exposing my pale legs. I stood upright and felt that fire burn inside me, at that moment I decided that I would try and figure out who the mystery child voice was later, right now at this pressing moment I had to prove that Toby would not be a distraction to me. I ran to Felix as he had this look on his face his eyes were focused on my legs I swear if I didn't know better I'd think he was checking out my sweet thighs. I ran at Felix and spoke "Hey eyes up here" I spoke and at that moment jumped to deliver a kick to the side of his neck. My kick was unrestrained as it landed it surprised me for a moment and as I regained my footing I watched as Felix stumbled forward from my blow and delivered a backhand punch to his face feeling my hand punch his soft face. Felix fell back I thought things would heat up now and perhaps an epic spar session would break out that we would fight a fight that could very well change the landscape around, but I was wrong nothing like that happened. Felix spoke to me "that is enough Sarah" his voice sounded off like something was still wrong "ok" I spoke surprised. Felix picked himself up to stand towering over me "that determination of yours is very impressive" he spoke complementing me. I thanked felix and asked him if he was serious about telling Marcus and the other kings that the child would be a distraction on me and felix told me he had considered it, but would never hurt me if he could help it. I smiled that felix is such an amazing friend. I had picked up chelsea's cloak that was caught against a tree branch and had started to walk back home with Felix. It was a short walk, but during the walk I had asked Felix what was bothering him and instead of choosing to confide in me he made a lame joke saying "I'm jealous your giving all your affections to a pet human." I need to tell him next time that when he jokes he has to make his voice less serious and more playful. He chuckled darkly and we made it back underground. Felix decided he wanted solitude in his room and I decided on going to see Chelsea. I was afraid of her reaction I expected to see her blow a fuse and hate me, but instead she just sighed. I offered her a shopping trip where we could go shopping together and she cheered up "sounds fun we could probably get my lover and Alec to babysit." she spoke cheerfully. I smiled and suggested it would be a good idea and then told her i was going to check on Toby and get ready. When I got to my room Toby was still sleeping, he was a cutey that Toby. I sat in the corner of the room and picked you up before I decided to write to you I made a shopping list of things I had to buy in order to give a child a happy enviroment and things a child obviously needed. I know I was jumping the gun Marcus and the others haven't given me their verdict yet, but I was too lost in the thought of being a mother to the child... for some reason it excited me and made me so very happy. After I made the list I started to write in you and here I am at this very moment writing to you about what I have just went through and now I have just a little time to ask myself who was the mysterious child's voice that I thought I heard and why did it have such a powerful affect on me? I know I don't have a child I mean marcus would have told me if I had one you know... Felix just came to my room the kings have their verdict and want to see me in 10 minutes. I have to go, I need to get ready for my shopping trip with Chelsea so I can buy a nice dress for my date with Marcus tonight and then I have to find out what will the boy's future be. Wish me luck. ~Sarah Topic: Peace at last Date: July 20th, 2009 Dear Diary, It has been two days since my last entry. What can I say about the last two days. I have to be honest with you Diary, I am sick of everything. I have been looking back on the events that have happened and looking back at all the drama and everything in general and I am sick of it all. I even went through my previous entries just to reflect on everything... I realized even when I wrote to you it was chaotic, just too much drama and like I have said I am sick of it. The drama is like a dozen people speaking at me at the exact same time non stop it's enough to drive me insane. I guess I realized this shortly after finishing my last entry. I left my bedroom, I wanted to get some perspective on things... I thought about going to the tower where Felix inspired me to believe in myself, the view there was so beautiful and peaceful... I needed to find Felix first, I still couldn't go anywhere on my own. I did not mind Felix he had this quiet aura around him, he appreciated silence. I eventually found Felix, or should I say Felix found me. Before I could even ask him he told me that I was needed in a meeting. You can imagine how frustrated I was, honestly I wanted some peace and quiet and now I had to go to some meeting. Although I have to admit I was a little curious at the time. So I followed Felix into the throne room and saw Aro, Caius, Demetri, Athenodora and Supicia. I looked at the wives and shivered from the hatred I felt for them and I will admit I am a little afraid of them. The wives gave me a look of loathing and curiosity, I remembered that they did not see me since before my makeover and nodded my head to them, they both looked away at the same time. I found that to be a very strange moment. I decided to look at Aro and saw him walking towards me "ah yes Sarah thank you for joining us, how are you this evening." Aro touched my hands holding them he looked at me with those curious eyes of his. At that exact moment I thought about Aro and his ability, it is said Aro, the king of the Volturi has the ability to see into the into the deepest darkest part of your mind He goes beyond the words that have been spoken, the words that have been hidden with deceitful eyes. He searches your mind and pull out your secrets and all that you know... he knows. The king has such an amazing power, but why did he feel the need to use it on me. Out of curiosity to see what random thoughts a newborn like myself could have? Did he want to see how I dealt with my urges when I saw a nice piece of human. How I think about sinking my nails deep into the flesh of the human, dragging my sharp nail down the human's arm watching as their skin is cut open with a mixture of dark red blood gushing from the wound to have lighter red blood pour out all over the flesh of the human. My ice cold tongue licking up the blood gushing out from the wrist to the shoulder sucking the human dry. That was one of my thoughts, another would have been to stop and allow the human to recover and place a meat hook on the area just below the back of the human's neck I would hang the meat hook up and watch the human suffer in agony as the blood poured out slowly from the holes made by the meat hook. I would hold the human still while my tongue rested on their back and wait for the blood to drip down my tongue... well actually there is another thought that comes to mind, while the human is suffering on that meat hook I would show them a knife and stab them with it twice and leave the knife inside them and use shot glasses and wait for the shot glasses to full up with the human's blood and maybe drink a toast with Marcus. My memory may be gone, but I am aware of my humanity and knowing that I am a newborn I know my humanity is slipping away in the blood lust. I do appear to have some sort of line I won't cross, I won't feed off of children. Marcus has, in the past, claimed that the blood of the child taste especially sweet because they're innocent, untainted by the bitterness of humanity, pure of heart and mind and free from drugs. I heard Marcus speak like that and it disturbed me, he knew it too and told me he wouldn't bring it up again, and so far he hasn't. I am getting off topic... After Aro let go of my hands for a moment he looked disappointed before speaking "well we have a problem as you may have all known, the relationship with Alec and Jane has become very unstable even before Alec has lost his memory. This of course is not good for us... it makes us look weak and unstable... which is not good for our image. We must think of a way to get the two end this foolish feud once and for all." Aro spoke seriously. I looked at Aro and folded my arms trying to think of ideas when Felix suggested Chelsea's assistance. Aro considered the suggestion for a moment and I listened quietly "I would normally ask for Chelsea's assistance, but I believe it's best not to have her use her ability when we have yet to try something healthier, more natural." The wives suggested letting them fight it out... yeah I know right no surprises there, violence solves everything right. I let out a scoff at the idea and they all looked at me. "have you any ideas" Aro asked. I suggested Doctor Phil and they just looked at me blinking and I frowned "never mind" typical they know all about violence, but not talking out their problems... Give doctor Phil a hundred years and he still wouldn't be able to fix the wives anger management issues... probably go the same for the twins especially Jane she is a savage little psycho. The meeting continued and then I suggested locking the two in a room to talk things out and have Demetri blocking the way to stop them from leaving. They all looked at me again curiously "that's just crazy enough to work" spoke Demetri, nothing could stop me from shooting out a dirty look at Demetri, not the dirty kind of look that says hey I want to jump your bones, but the kind that said I want to kick you in the groin as hard as I can. That thought just made me give off a satisfied smile. Aro decided my idea of locking the two in a room to sort out their problems was the best solution for sorting things out. I was excused for the rest of the meeting with Aro, and the others apparently they have this project or something I know I should have been curious, but I couldn't bring myself to care, I just wanted that moment of silence. So I went back to my room, fetched you and went outside to the tower and climbed to the top. I love the view of the night time sky, the stars are such a beautiful sight and the lights of the city... it's enough to make a girl's heart melt at just the sight... well my heart can't melt seeing as I am a vampire and all. I enjoyed sitting at the tower on my own it felt nice just to see how beautiful the scenery was. I wasn't surprised when Felix joined me, the man was my own personal shadow. We sat in silence for the longest of time and it was very enjoyable. Felix did start to surprise me with a question "do you think you will ever tire of Immortality?" the question was so sudden how could I answer it? "you're not thinking of suicide are you, cause if you are that's one whole drama I can't deal with at this moment" I spoke worried about Felix and disappointed this beautiful moment of silence and solitude was going to be turned into a don't do it, you have so much to live for speech and this beautiful moment would probably be the only thing dying, but Felix had given me such support I did owe it to him. Felix chuckled at my words for a moment "no... It's just, I have lived for so long and done so much, I am beginning to get bored of immortality." I rolled my eyes up "Felix you're not an immortal... immortality is just a myth at best. We all live and we all die, granted we come back up for seconds, but we will die too none the less." Felix looked at me "Sarah, vampires will never die, just look at Master Aro he has been alive for thousand of years." I shook my head "Master Aro... he is alive, but not really alive where it counts. Aro is obsessive and greedy, he wants everything and in the end those who want everything end up with nothing." My words seemed to confuse Felix "I do not really understand, that how is he alive, but not really alive he is like I said thousands of years old." Felix repeated. I frowned and leaned my head against his shoulders "Felix you will have to figure that part on your own, I am not sure you recall in Australia I fed on a human and before I killed that human I told that human "Life is, but a fleeting dream... well I stand by it, the true difference between humans and vampires is we get to sleep just a little longer than the humans. We as vampires should understand the true purpose of life, with life there is death, we are alive now so soon we shall have death." Felix was quiet and i wondered if I was clear enough in my answer until he explained "so how will vampires die then if you believe we die eventually then how do you see it happening." His voice seemed curious. I looked up at him and smiled a little "well, I believe that the death of all life will occur when the planet is ready to die... When the world ends it will be in either Fire or ice... when the planet dies when all life dies, we will be no exception, we feed on life to sustain our own lives... we are parasites, but what do we feed on when the planet is dead, when humans or even animals are dead? The whole world could end tomorrow one giant meteor striking the planet making it blow up... I am pretty sure not even we could survive an entire planet blowing up... even if we did it's going to suck floating around in space for the rest of time thirsty and weak and consumed by the never ending burning in our throats." Felix looked horrified he had that look on his face like I had just told him Santa was a pervert. Felix told me I thought about things to much and asked me what should we do then since we were destined for death someday as well as the humans. "that's easy Felix we do as the humans do, explore life and find your own reason for existence. Take the time to enjoy the little things We live longer, that's a blessing we get to see more beauty, more exciting new discoveries we go out and look for adventure and if you go out today or tomorrow and you find nothing new, then you look harder for something new, because there is always something new to discover about life." Felix smiled and thanked me for opening his eyes. He did not bring up immortality again instead we spoke about who would win a fight Jane or Alec which brought a big debate we all knew Jane played dirty while Alec was a lot more sensitive, more elegant than Jane. Eventually Felix jumped off the tower and just waited at the bottom leaning on the tower, he knew I wanted some alone time to just enjoy the peace and quiet, as soon as he jumped down I decided to write to you and tell you everything. Now that I have I think I will go I want to enjoy this moment of clarity and peace while I can, who knows what will come up tomorrow or even once I go inside. ~Sarah Frost Topic: so much for my Holiday with Marcus, hope we can go on a longer one next time.
Date: July 18th, 2009 Dear Diary I am home, so much has happened in the three days I need to tell you everything, because I just need to unleash everything pent up inside me.after my last entry Felix left to get me a snack he came back with a nice plump human to eat. this human was wearing a blue T shirt and blue Jeans he had on black runners, he did not look bad the human had blond wavey hair and amazing eyes that were hazel I just looked at the human he looked frightened, Marcus was sitting beside me and Julian standing behind Marcus ready to pounce while Felix just held the human still "come on Sarah it's snack time, you wanted to go shopping today didn't you." Felix spoke, I nodded my head head, I removed my top leaving only my bra and jeans on the truth is when a vampire feeds it can get really messy unless you're experianced because I am young I am kind of a messy eater and since that was my favorite top there was no way i was going to get that top blood stained plus i did not bring many clothing with me. I walked to the human and smiled carressing his cheek he was whimpering "life is, but a fleeting dream...it's time you awaken" I spoke to the human and leaned down biting his neck, the blood came dripped down as my teeth cut into the skin, I could hear the screams of the human and said nothing I placed my hand on the otherside of his neck and Cut my fingers deep into the skin, my jaws opened a little wider as I took a deeper chunk bite and pulled out a large chunk of flesh. After spitting the flesh out and pushing out the conciousness of my mind I sunk my mouth to the bloody wound and continued to drain the blood as it poured out the human's heart slowed down thump..........thump........thump and then it no longer thumped I pulled back and gasped looking at the ceiling for the moment, this human tasted especially good....I wondered if all Australians tasted this delicous, I heard Felix fake cough and I refocused my attention I looked at the human "don't drop him yet." I spoke as I looked at the corpse I used his shirt to wipe off the blood from my face & saw in his shirt pocket he had a pair of sunglasses after pulling out the sunglasses I placed them on and turned to face Marcus and smiled mischivous and went to put my top on, after it was on Felix had his arm out "Shall we be leaving now" he asked, after I intertwined my arm with his playfully I told him as soon as Marcus and Julian were ready, it was at this time Marcus told me he had somethings to do so he & Julian would be staying at the at our little home. To tell the truth I was not happy about this, the reason for our trip was so we could spend time together and after reminding him of this he told me whatever he was doing could not wait. So I left with felix and we went to town via Limo, the sun was hidden behind all the dark storm clouds the wind was cool and refeshing, we were dropped off and Felix walked inches behind me the entire time protecting me, I told him that we were safe that there were no others of our kind, but he told me it was better safe than sorry. we walked down town and I came across the hairdressers, Felix told me we should keep going and I told him no and entered the hairdresses, Felix followed me and asked me what I was doing and I told him "Felix...I look at my reflection and I don't see who I am, all I have is people telling me what I did & who I was...I gained strength from believing in myself, but the woman I was...she is long gone, so I should stop trying to be who I was and be who I am...it's time I change who I am on the outside to reflect who I was on the inside." Felix was still confused and I sighed, I felt this was something I had to do so I told Felix I wanted him to do a full scale scouting of the city area we were in, he was reluctant to leave my side with guard duty, I promised him I would stay here in public view, of course I would be safe in public we vampires don't want exposure. I sat in the chair and the hairdresser asked what I wanted. I told him to dye my hair, and when he asked me what color I told him blond. So there I sat with my head tilted back for sixty minutes, my hair is a little long, I thought about triming it, but decided not to. Finally I was finished and I looked at myself in the mirror not beliving how different I looked, I paid with the credit card Marcus had given me back on the plane and walked out to the streets Felix was still hadn't returned so I decided to go clothing shopping.I tried on a whole lot of clothing and I heard foot steps "Sarah Frost you lied to me" I heard an angry hiss. I regonized the voice, I hid my shock he sounded extremely pissed I told him to relax Felix stomped his foot and told he would not relax. I was taken by suprised, did Felix just stamp his foot....that was so childish. I examined myself in my blue corset I was wearing on the right side It had a black design, it went well with the blue jeans. The short Leather jacket I had on was magnificent. Felix hissed out "I will not scold a closed curtain...open up at once, you need to be made aware of the stupid risk you have taken...Hones" I removed my sunglasses and opened the curtain and Felix and he stopped speaking, as he saw me for the first time since my makeover I was no longer a plain brunette "what were you saying" I asked him softly with a coy smile on my face. Felix jaw was still open and I walked to him and pushed his chin up to close his mouth, Felix was quiet for a second "I...forgot" he spoke in awe, I smiled and went to pay for the corset and jacket along with a number of other clothing items, after paying for them I asked the sales girl if she could hold the clothing until our limo driver came to pick the clothing up, she told me it was no worries and I went walking around the shops with Felix, he called the limo driver and sorted all that out for us, I asked Felix what was wrong and he told me nothing and when I asked why it took him so long to find me, he told me he received a call from a Dominick and told me that Alec was still not back from his mission then he had to call Marcus to tell him. So it might take Alec a little longer to join us, hearing that made me depressed, Felix assured me that Alec would be fine, and told me to cheer up. We continued along on our shopping trip and we ended up shopping in a little store where I bought a training bra. Felix told me he thought it was too small for me, but I told him it was for Jane and when he said she was as flat as they came that's when he realized what I was up to. "Very nice Sarah" he encouraged me and we continued on shopping, we ended up going to the jewelery store and Felix made me buy a stack of jewelery much to the owner's delight. I found this jewelry set where it had a silver necklace with blue emeralds, earings and ring and thought of Chelsea, I bought them and decided to give them to her, Felix told me the jewelery would look nice on me, but I told them it was for Chelsea. Felix was suprised at me and asked why I would do that after what she did and I told Felix "I am to become a Queen of Volturi, seeing the other wives, it made me realize that they ruled with violence and Fear, I won't stoop to that. When I rule it will be with kindness and forgiveness and if needed I will crush those who oppose me and threaten all that we stand for. So I am going to forgive Chelsea, because I know that I would want forgiveness too if I did something that horrible." Felix looked at me in awe and told me I was incredible. We returned to the holiday home via Limo and Marcus was already out there waiting for me. He opened the door and held his hand out, I took it and as he helped me out he saw me for the first time with my makeover. He said my name in shock and I smiled as he told me I looked magnificent. Marcus leaned in to kiss me and I kissed him back. We went inside together and Marcus could not stop talking about how amazing I looked, I asked him if the old me was not this pleasent to look at, Marcus told me I was always beautiful to him. He sure knew how to make a girl feel special i'll give him that much. Marcus asked me what I wanted to do for the evening and he sat me on the ground, we both looked at each other as our legs were folded he told me to try to use my gift without singing, So I concentrated, but nothing happened even after Marcus told me to try and let myself become inspired that once that happened it should work. So I tried, but nothing inspired me it was quite strange. After two solid hours of trying and looking in Marcus beautiful red eyes he told me we should go out. So the four of us went to town, the city at night was beautiful, with lights, but what I did not expect, well the four of us climbed the Sydney Harbour bridge. The thing about climbing the bridge it was something humans could do, we chose to climb the bridge at night, the Sydney harbour bridge has been a tourist attraction since 1998, according the phamplet the only time the climb is cancelled is when there is electrical storms or high winds. the hidious special clothing provided for us was just awful, but I did not care I had a great time oh another annoying thing about the bridge climb is each of us were secured to the bridge by a wire lifeline. As we reached the end of the long climb the view was amazing, I have included a photo for you to see, I have also included a photo of the sydney harbour bridge, Julian took the photo because he did not want to join us. As we looked at the amazing view Marcus asked me what I would like to do the next night and I told him I was not sure, he had a smile on his face and told me that we were going to the Sydney Opera house, he paid a great deal of money to book it exclusively for me...he wants me to perform there, I mean its going to be incredible the Sydney opera house is one of Australia's best landmarks, the buiding covers 4.5 Acres of land and it's 605 feet long and 388 feet wide its supported on 588 concrete piers that is 25 metres below sea level. now not many people know this, but the concert hall has two thousand six hundred and seventy-eight seats. Just some trivia I picked up. So after we climbed down from the bridge we toured around town and eventually made it back home at 5 am. We spent the day together the four of us when Marcus and Felix went out to get someone to eat. I could see Julian upset and I asked him what was wrong, He told me "I just wish Dominick was here, I don't understand why he should be the one guarding Alec." I was shocked I went to Julian and asked what he meant by Alec needing a guard. Julian was quiet and refused to say anything else when Felix and Marcus returned home I confronted them both about what Julian told me, Felix told me that the reason why he was late in picking me up was because he recieved a call from Demetri telling him that Tristan and Alec got into a fight and their abilities caused some sort of bad reaction...Alec is physically fine, but his memory was gone. I told Marcus to get the jet and he asked me about the opera house and I told him I did not care, Alec was more important, he was a friend...he is like a little brother to me truth be told and I know he shouldn't be alone right now. The poor kid was probably scared out of his mind. Alec had to come first I can't let him be alone, Marcus was on the phone organizing everything. Felix looked at me and I turned away, he apologiesd for lying and told me he only wanted me to have a good time, I told Felix "I am not mad at you Felix, just extremely disappointed, I never thought you would lie to me. I trusted you." I was hurt, but mostly I was worried about Alec the thought of seeing him alone and frightened it was too much to bare. Felix appologised again and I began to pack all the things I bought, putting Chelsea's and Jane's presents aside I wondered if we had enough time for me to pop to the stores and get something for Alec, I would have gotten him something if I knew, but I thought he would be with us by now, with Dominick. Marcus told me that the jet would be ready by the time we got there and I packed everything in the limo with Felix's help. It was pretty uneventful from there. Felix kept looking at me, but I focused on what's going outside the window. we arrived back home 22 hours later as soon as I walked through the front door. I had two bags in my hand while Julian was carrying all the other shopping. Dominick met with us and I asked him where Alec was, Dominick told me that Alec was in his room refusing to eat. So as calmly as I could I asked Dominick if he would go and get Alec a human and I would make him eat, Domnick looked at Marcus and Marcus gave a nod, the next thing Dominick was gone. I thanked Marcus for the good time and told him I would make it up to him for ruining the holiday, but he told me it was alright that we could reschedule our trip, with that Marcus left to find Aro, it was just Felix and I and I smiled, "I am not mad at you Felix, but can I ask you to please take this jewelery set to Chelsea and pass on my regards, I would do it myself, but Alec needs me." I gave Felix the bag which left me the plastic bag with the training bra. As we parted ways I went down the hallway walking quickly towards Alec's room when I saw Jane outside the doorway, Jane looked at me and gasped at me "Sarah is that you" she said, her voice was shocked. Jane had yet to see me since my makeover and I nodded my head, "yes it's me." I told her, She was quiet for a few moments "what happened to you....you're different." she asked, I smiled it was as close to a compliment I was ever going to get from Jane I walked past her and was near Alec's door, Jane told me to stop and I turned my back from the door "I can't let you in Alec is" I interrupted Jane and told her I knew. "Oh I almost forgot, this is for you." I handed the plastic bag to Jane and she took it, she opened it excitedly and pulled out the training bra the excitement on her face vanished and I told her "there you go your first bra, now maybe if you fill it with tissues you will get the illusion of having breasts and stop being such a bitch" I told her. I turned away from Jane and as I turned I saw her fist trembling, she was forbidden to hurt me thanks to Marcus. I looked at Alec as he peeked out of the doorway he was watching the entire thing "Sarah" he yelled and he ran to hug me, I hugged him back "hey kid what happened to you, are you ok do you know who I am?" I asked him, Alec nodded "yes Sarah your my best friend...your my sister" he said. I smiled and looked back at Jane. "Why does he remember you and not me." She hissed, "Because you have a face only a blind mother could love" I said. Alec Laughed hard and told Jane to go away, he dragged me into his room by the hand and told me how beautiful I looked with my makeover. I asked Alec how much he remembered and he told me nothing, but he remembered me saying that I was a nice girl who always looked out for him. I smiled and petted his head. Chelsea eventually came and thanked me for the gift, she asked me what favor I wanted in return and I told her "Chelsea I do not give gifts and ask for favors in return, I am not like that...this was a gift from me to you, enjoy it." I said, she thanked me and seemed a lot nicer to me. A few moments after Chelsea left Dominick arrived with a human teenager he looked frightened and he pushed the human over to me at my feet and I picked him up. I thanked Dominick and told him to go chill with Julian, that Julian missed him, he did not need asking twice. I looked at Alec and told him to eat and he told me couldn't that the human had feelings and he could not hurt a living creature. The human started begging and I pulled his arm dragging him right to Alec and held it out for him "smell that scent, smell the blood Alec...Forget about humanity...it's over rated, Humanity claims to be superior, but it is not, we are the superior ones, we do not wager pointless wars against each other, we do not commit hate crimes & discriminated based on color of skin or religion or even on sexuality...Humanity is nothing but talking parrots compared to us." I told him. Alec still refused and I leaned down and bit into the humans forearm, and pulled up "See if I can do it so can you, come on Alec you can do this." I encouraged him. Alec leaned in and took a bite of the human, thankfully Alec ignored the human's screams, a few seconds later Alec's door opened and I saw Aro and Jane with Marcus and Demetri the four of them seemed suprised Aro finally spoke only to compliment me on my makeover and I smiled, Jane still seemed pissed and evetually they left, I spent the rest of the afternoon with Alec and he seemed happy, I told him I would be with him as long as he needed me and even promised to take him shopping with me tomorrow. Felix eventually found us and I introduced Alec to Felix, Alec was cautious at first but soon relaxed with Felix. When I stood up to exuse myself Alec hugged me and asked me where I was going, I told him to get changed and then I would return. Alec, that adorable child relcutantly let go of me and I left to get changed after that I thought I would tell you everything that happned....it's such a shame my holiday was cancelled Sydney was such a beautiful place...Maybe I could get Marcus to take us on another trip with Alec this time...I need to go talk with Marcus I just hope he is not mad at me...if anything I should be mad at him for keeping this from me. ~Sarah The Jewelery I bought Chelsea Sydney Opera house taken by me The Sydney Harbour Bridge taken by Julian seeing as he did not want to climb it..such a slacker Me after My makeover & shopping trip Topic: it's a lot to deal with, but i have a feeling i am going to have a blast.
Date: July 15th, 2009 Dear Diary Some things have happened since my last entry, it's a lot to process, Felix was at my door keeping guard, when I heard her voice "Felix, what a suprise to see you here." The voice belonged to Jane, one of the most savage and ruthless dwarfs throughout the land. I felt a strong dislike for Jane, she was cruel, vicious and a horrible, horrible girl. She was the type of girl to eat cake in front of a fat person on a treadmill, or just bite the heads off of kittens, she was a souless sociopath, hell bent on bringing everyone around her down. "What do you want Jane I am working." Felix asked Jane, I listened to Felix, the concern in his voice was mostly masked by a powerful urge to protect me...it was touching. "And so am I Felix, I have come to help Sarah." she said with a fake tone of concern, I must admit I found myself nervous about this Jane, helping me was as likely as as her developing breast cancer...it was not going to happen. Jane had pulled out the Marcus card and I knew it was a lie the moment those words escaped her lips, Marcus would never allow the savage dwarf near me. Felix opened the door and I could see concern in his eyes, I had felt afraid, but then I remembered Felix's words, strength doesn't come from acting...it comes from believing "Have you come to torture me some more Jane?" I asked her as I placed you into my bag, Jane's answer was almost convincing "no Sarah, I have come to help you get your memory back." "Oh and how do you plan to do that? Torture me until I remember? I retorted with confidence. Jane laughed and told me she was not that bad, Felix chipped in and told Jane she was, as she glared at Felix, I was afraid she would use that gift of hers to hurt him. I did not want Felix to suffer pain because of me. I thought of things I could do to stop Jane while she spoke with Felix, I finally spoke out "Felix I am sure I will be ok, Jane will not disobey Marcus's rules and if she does I will have her made into dust." I said with confidence, I glanced at Jane then too the newcomer..I had seen this one with Jane before, but did not know anything about him...I guess this guy was Jane's boyfriend...poor bastard I pity him. I smiled at Felix showing him I would be fine and he left the room to wait outside, Jane spoke and introduced me to her boyfriend, his name was Tristan, I decided to speak to him "it's nice to meet you tristan, can I ask why are you with the Dwarf" Tristan commented on the dwarf and before I could explain to him Jane spat out a immature insult. the male vampire placed out his hand and I took it to shake it I held his hand in a firm grip and felt a little nervous as I hummed a soft melody while I held his hand I watched a little nervously as he moved his other hand to stroke my cheek, my confusion only grew and I hummed a little more until I heard him gasp, I raised my eyebrow confused and curious as I saw a look of terror wash over his face "Ameliea, how is this possible?" his voice was shakey and he seemed disturbed, "Jane what's he talking about?" I asked as I let go of his hand and backed away from him, Tristan the vampire was starting to freak me out. Jane asked me if I saw my fears, I told her no and I continued to watch as Tristan whimpered "Ameliea I am so sorry, please, please let me go, you can't keep haunting me, Please." Jane screamed at me asking me what I was doing to him, Tristain came at me again and I told jane I did not know, and asked her to get the madman off me. Felix burst into the room and told Jane to stop tristan and I was suddenly shocked as Tristan placed his hand around my neck, I screamed and Jane finally used her gift to stop him, the moment she stopped, Tristan was out the door, Felix came to me, he was checking to see if I was alright, "th...thank you Jane" I said. Felix told Jane to leave and to my surprise she did. I couldn't move, I was just too shocked at the events that happened, Felix was kind enough to help me up. A few moments later Alec came into the room, he asked what happened, and neither of us said anything so he left. I managed to hug Felix and thanked him for his good work, Felix seemed to be shy at first, but he hugged me back and told me it would be alright. I asked Felix to help me pack the rest of my clothing and ended up packing a total of two suitcases and one backpack of clothing. Alec returned and asked us about what had happened with Tristan and Jane. We told him everything and eventually he had to leave with Demetri to go get Tristan. Several moments later Marcus arrived and told me we would be going on Holiday to Australia, I looked at Felix excited and he smiled, Marcus told me that the Volturi had a private house in Sydney. I was excited, when I grabbed the suitcases he told me only to take my backpack that he would let me go clothing shopping when we arrived. I ran and hugged Marcus excited about the holiday and a few seconds later two males came to the door way, the two looked to be young adults, they were stunning young men, so muscular, well built,...if I wasn't already taken by Marcus, well wow, they are appealing. Marcus noticed me watching the two and he said "Sarah this is Julian and Dominick, they are my personal guards, just as Felix and Alec are yours." I smiled and greeted the two, they both smiled at me in unison and I nodded my head "they will both be joining us on our holiday along with Felix and Alec." Felix stepped forward "Master Marcus, Alec has been sent on a mission with Demetri to fetch Tristian." Marcus looked confused at Felix's report, "I see thank you for informing me Felix." Marcus looked back at the two guards "Dominick, you are to remain here at the castle, and once Alec returns you are to bring him to my house in Sydney, you do remember the address don't you.?" Marcus asked, The guard nodded and Marcus smiled "good alright, let us leave now." Julian began to walk from my room, and I grabbed Marcus hand to hold it, he seemed surprised and I smiled at him. He watched me for a moment and smiled, we walked out together and Felix follwed walking behind us, Julian guarded from the front and Felix from behind. When we left the castle it was dark, we left in a private limo to go the airport, the limo ride was enjoyable and romantic. I sat next to Marcus while Felix and Julian sat opposite of us. Marcus had his hand on my leg and my head rested on his arm it was a comfortable ride, and Felix started to talk about Jane and Tristan, telling him everything that happened first hand "Jane lied to you, I gave you no such order from now on you don't leave Sarah at all, especially near Jane or Tristan." he said. Felix nodded his head, Marcus was pehaps too rough on Felix "thank you Felix for staying with me and protecting me to the best of you're abilities, your a splendid guard and I am lucky Marcus assigned you to me." I said to him, Felix looked at me and smiled, I was glad he cheered up. Julian seemed a little down, I asked Julian what was wrong and Marcus spoke in a quiet tone "Julian loathes being away from his brother, the two are very close." I made an O sound and felt sorry for Julian, I can't imagine being away from a loved one, it must be unbearable, I wondered how I would cope if I had to be away from someone I loved. Marcus and I spoke and I asked him how long we would be in Australia, he surprised me by saying however long I would like. We eventually arrived at the airport and went on a private jet, this was amazing I was having a ball as I danced around on the jet happily and Marcus chuckled "I enjoy seeing you happy Sarah." I looked at Marcus and smiled, I climbed onto his lap and he seemed to be enjoying the affection, Marcus placed his hands on my waist "how can I make you happy Marcus" I asked him feeling high on life, Marcus crimson eyes watched me "kiss me" he said, I smiled and leaned in and kissed him on the lips, I got so lost in Marcus but then I heard Felix fake coughing and I pulled back from Marcus to look at him, I saw an expression on his face it was confusing, I did not get what was wrong with him. I climbed off of Marcus and looked at him, he seemed to be a little cross at Felix for some reason, I have no idea why. We eventually arrived in Australia, we passed through customs with no problems, Marcus had a private limo waiting for the four of us we went in and I started to miss Alec. I was worried about him, Marcus could see that "Sarah my love what is wrong." he asked concerned, "I am just worried about Alec, I hope Tristan won't hurt him...that wacko is nuts, and I dont want Alec to get hurt." Marcus had his arm around my shoulders trying to reassure me and I heard Felix speak "despite his physical appearance, Alec is no child, he can handle himself, he also has Demetri too...so there is no need to worry." I nodded and told Felix he was right.We arrived at the place and I have to say Marcus was sadly mistaken, this was no house, it was a mansion....it was huge two floors, a huge gate and yard it was beautiful even if the windows were boarded up. When we stepped in I was suprised to see how clean everything was and how nice it was on the inside. "Ah yes Felix, I believe Sarah needs something to drink, she has had an eventful few days and I want her to be at her best for when we take her shopping." Felix nodded "yes Master Marcus, I will be back shortly." he said and left in an instant. I looked around in awe and Marcus showed me the entire estate, we sat in the living room and Marcus told me he needed to go check on Julian who was guarding the hallway, so here I am now writing to you in Australia. I can't wait to explore this place, hopefully Alec will come back soon with Dominick I really miss Alec he is a good kid. ~Sarah Topic: All that I was it exist somewhere inside me, but it's only a fraction of who i used to be, I am so much more than that now.
Date: July 8th, 2009 I couldn't take anymore, it was just all too much for me to handle, I was confused and afraid. I did not understand how I could be treated so poorly by the man that I am supposed to love, I am meant to become his Queen, but he treated me like a pet instead of a spouse. Right after my last entry I ran out of my room and towards the exit, Felix was blocking my path, but I pushed him aside like he was nothing and ran past him. I made it outside and saw the surroundings, it was beautiful and mystifying. I looked up at the night stars and saw a very tall tower...I decided to run away, I had no idea where I would go... I heard footsteps and I closed my eyes terrified it was Jane. I felt someone touch my shoulder and I flinched. "Sarah...what are you doing out here, you're not meant to be outside alone, it's dangerous." he told me concerned. Felix's voice was so deep, different, I felt strange...it wasn't anything romantic....no I felt safe with Felix. I turned to look at Felix and watched him, seeing the concern, it was really touching, "Sarah...what's wrong?" He asked me his voice was full of concern for me...it was touching, but I wondered why he cared. I told Felix he wouldn't understand and he told me to climb onto his back, that there was something he wanted to show me, I did as I was told, not because I was afraid of being harmed...I knew I was safe with Felix, I did it because I trusted him, as soon as I climbed onto his back Felix went to the tower and started to climb it with ease. It was very impressive to see Felix climb the tower, he did it so well, it was no struggle for him. He did not speak at all, there was a silence between us the entire time. We finally made it to the top of the tower together, the view was amazing it was beautiful. The way the city lights were on it made it look like the stars in the sky, only the colors were different. "When I am not on duty, or training..I come here to think." Felix said in a soft voice. I did not know what to say, so I said nothing "I brought you here Sarah...because you need to think, keeping secrets to yourself...it won't help you here....Trust me, tell me what's wrong and I swear to help you as best I can." He told me to trust him and I did, so I thought about it and I told him everything that happened with the Queens and my feelings of being nothing more than an object. Felix said nothing for a moment and I continued. Felix I am afraid....I don't want to become like Athenodora or Sulpicia....I tried to be like you told me to be, strong, but all that I got was pain." Felix asked me a strange question, he asked me when I tried to be tough, did I believe in myself. After some thought I told him no, Felix grabbed my hand and placed it over my heart "Sarah...pretending to be strong is not strength... it's delusions of grandure...when you want to be strong you must believe in yourself...you're strength comes from your heart it may not beat anymore, but it's there...look deep inside yourself, find that fire and bring it out..I believe in you Sarah, Believe with me...I promise when you do, nothing will stop you." I listened to Felix in awe he was incredible, he was right...I felt so inspired by his speech and leaned in close to hug him. "thank you Felix" I whispered I felt different, the way I felt was just impossible to describe...all I knew was I was strong. I stood up and walked to the edge of the tower, Felix asked me where I was going and I turned to face him "I have a bone to settle with a King. See you round." I said with a grin, heck, even my voice sounded different, this feeling was coursing through me and there was no stopping it. I took a single step forward and I was falling, my hair flew up and I felt the wind against me it was a rush. I landed on the ground with elegance and grace and walked back into the castle with confidence, no one would stop me and this feeling that was deep inside me. Down the hallways I walked...no not walked, strutted, yes I strutted down the hallways with confidence, Felix was so right. When you believed in yourself you become strong at least that's the way I feel now. I stopped and saw Jane step out in front of me "I thought I smelt a Skunk" I said to Jane. The sadistic bitch had her hands behind her back and tilted her head, I was suddenly on the ground in agony. "Sarah Sarah Sarah, you seem to like spending time on the ground...I am surprised a coward like you would dare speak to me in that tone." The pain was intense, every time I felt Jane's "gift" my body burned, but the burning I felt from jane was nothing. I picked myself up from the floor and was on my knees. I smiled and picked myself up, my body was burning all over, but my smile did not go away. I had confidence...I had this strength deep inside me ready to be brought out. I could see Jane look surprise for a moment, she tilted her head to the other side "hmm interesting you got up, no I don't believe I told you to get up, down on the ground Sarah" she said emotionlessly. I was on the ground the burning only intensified and just when I thought I knew what pain was, I felt something a thousand times worse than before, but it did not stop me. I got up again slowly and looked Jane in the eye and smiled through the pain "No," I said defiantly. Jane's gift blazed again so intense. I was on the ground. "Defiant fool. So let me guess you got you're memories back...is this why you're defying me." she said as she walked towards me. Jane's feet were right in front of me "Kiss my feet Sarah and the pain will go away...I promise you." she spoke with a dark grin on her face. I forced myself up and looked at her "I owe you Pain." I spoke in agony. I threw a punch at jane and felt my fist hit Jane in the face. The Pain immediately went away and I felt relieved, Jane was still on the ground and I moved to Jane and placed one foot on her neck and bent down to put my hands over her eyes "see it's not so nice is it Jane, being on the floor humilated...unlike you Jane I do not take pleasure in seeing you suffer like this." I removed my foot from Jane's neck and with my other hand I picked her up by the neck and placed pressure on her neck, I could hear her squirm and I threw her down the hall. I continued to walk, but stopped and kept looking forward, I knew she could hear me and I remembered Felix told me I called Jane a Dwarf.."I don't have my memory back...the Sarah you knew is still gone she probably won't ever return, maybe a fraction of the Sarah you knew exists somewhere inside me, I don't know or care. I am who I am Jane, nothing more and definetly nothing less...Oh and one more thing, I'd rather kiss a Skunk's ass than kiss you're feet you stupid Dwarf" I heard a hiss escape from Jane's lips "Do you want to go to round two?" "You can hurt me and make me hit the ground all you want, but I won't give up...you're pretty old, you might know this saying...you can't keep a good bitch down..." I said with a wide grin on my face and continued to walk on towards Marcus' room. I have to admit, I am amazed with myself, I didn't know I was so strong, to stand up to Jane like that, I know I couldn't let that small victory get to my head, I had bigger fish to fry. I was a woman on a mission and I was determined to strike a blow to claim my independence and self respect. I knocked on the door of Marcus' room and he opened the door a split second later "Sarah my pet, what can I do for you." he asked surprised. I remembered smiling and walking into his room, "Marcus we need to speak." I told him in a soft voice, he corrected me telling me to call him Master and I shook my head "Sorry lover, but I believe you're the one mistaken...Marcus, I need to ask you a question...Do you love me." Marcus looked confused "of course I do." I smiled and leaned in and placed my hand on his cheek "you want to marry me right..to make me you're wife and Queen." I asked him, he nodded his head "yes of course my pet...why ask this." hearing him call me pet made me a little mad, but I had to cut Marcus a break he was only a man and well his brain is a lot less complex then a woman's. I grabbed Marcus' hand and led him to the bed and sat him down followed by me sitting beside him "first off Marcus, I am not your pet and you sure as hell are not my Master." I announced to him, my voice was not even shaking a little. Marcus looked at me surprised and he placed his hand on my hand. "I am going to be your Queen and you're my spouse...Marcus, calling me pet is degrading...and me calling you Master...it makes me feel inferior to you." Marcus looked stunned, he was shocked that I stood up for myself "Sarah, I am sorry I made you feel that, it was not my intention...I cherish you Sarah." he said, so alarmed. "Then cherish me Marcus, but don't call me your pet." I told him, making myself understood. Marcus nodded, "what would you have me call you then." he asked me. I held his hand and closed my eyes and this strange voice entered my head, this voice, it was soft smooth and seductive it was the most beautiful voice I had ever heard and I opened my eyes "Call me babygirl" Marcus expression was shocked and I smiled, that voice was long gone, but the way he said babygirl it was so soothing. "O...ok, I will call you babygirl" he said surprised. I moved to Marcus and sat on his lap looking at him. I was glad he was a vampire if he was human he probably would have had a heart attack or something. "Will you treat me like an equal." he nodded his head "yes Sarah" he said in shock, I leaned in to kiss Marcus on the lips and he was still for a moment before he started kissing me back. It felt strange kissing Marcus, I am still not sure if I love him, but I had to try, regain who I was or at least some of who I was since I can't remember our love. I just have to make an effort to try and remember, after kissing Marcus for a few minutes I pulled back and Marcus asked me what's wrong. "I am still far from done with our talk Marcus." Marcus chuckled "really how amusing Sarah, what else would you like to talk to me about." I smiled and looked at him amused "Marcus...you want me to train with the wives...to teach me to be a Queen, I will do that...but I have conditions for those lessons, refuse even one of my next requests and I will refuse to attend those lessons, please....please forgive me Marcus I never wish to threaten you, but I can't go through that agony again." Marcus was confused and asked me what happend and I told him everything, the way they treated me, I did not leave out a single detail, I could see the anger on Marcus' face and he hissed. the hate and anger was frightening, I jumped up and backed into a corner crouching...all of my courage...my will power vanished it was just so horrofying. "Damn Caius, I have had just about enough of him trying to claim control, and now he dares to do this sort of thing, to treat my mate in such poor taste....he will suffer Sarah, I promise you, retribution will be yours." he stood up and suddenly noticed me cowering in the corner. He rushed to me in a flash and picked me up "I am sorry babygirl, I will make things right, I promise...now tell me what are you're demands, I will give you anything you want." It was strange hearing Marcus call me babygirl, when I heard that beautiful voice say babygirl in my head it made me feel warm and safe and loved...hearing Marcus call me babygirl it made me feel fear, but maybe it's because he was all hissing and mad. Marcus lifted me up and placed me on his bed, "First of all...I will attend the lessons, because I know it's important for you...I also don't want to embarass you, but I will not be treated that way again" I told him, he was about to speak when I put my finger to his lips."Second of all..... I will wear what I want when I want, the only time I will dress fancy like those wives...is when there is a formal engagement...I also want Chelsea to be removed as my guard effective immediately and I want her replaced with Alec..Alec and Felix are the only ones of the guards I trust...they will be with me at all times, unless they are needed elsewhere. I refuse to be guarded by Chelsea or Jane." Marcus nodded his head "of course." I continued to speak over him."Thirdly..... Felix has told me before my memory loss, he was teaching me to fight to defend myself...he says I enjoyed it, I want those lessons re-instated, effective immediately..." "Finally, I refuse to be a caged bird Marcus, I want to spend time with my future husband. I want some personal time with you, and I want us to go on holidays together...just the two of us...if we need guards so be it, but I just want to be with you."Marcus smiled at this, he seemed to be calm again and I leaned in to kiss him on the cheek. "anything else you would like my..babygirl" he asked me. I looked up for a moment, "I will let you know next time I would like something...but thank you Marcus for agreeing to this, you have made things so much better for me." I told him, Marcus caressed my cheek "all I want Sarah, is for you to be happy, you're a mighty strong woman Sarah, you always suprise me." I thanked Marcus and moved to lay on his bed and he laid beside me, we looked each other in the face and spoke "I can thank Felix for that...he taught me that strength does not come from acting strong, but believing you're strong...when you believe in your self nothing can stop you." Marcus smiled "interesting, Felix has had quiet an interesting impact on you...I should thank him" I smiled and something came to me "Marcus I have to ask you something, when I lost my memory you gave me a Diary and told me that I loved writing in diaries, if this is true....then where is my other diaries". I could see Marcus smile softly "before you lost you're memories you did have a diary, you gave it to me to read you said, you wanted to share all your thoughts and feelings with me....so you loaned me the Diary, I am ashamed to say I misplaced it somewhere among my books in my libary, give me some time and I will find it for you ok." he said reassuring me. I smiled and enjoyed spending time with Marcus after talking about his vampire exploits. Marcus spoke "I am sorry Sarah I must speak with my brothers and their wives. Why don't you go and find Felix and Alec." I nodded my head and Marcus leaned in to kiss my forehead "have fun Sarah, actually I have a surprise for you." I felt excited "really do tell." I asked him and he told me, no, then it wouldn't be a suprise if he told me. I pouted and Marcus chuckled "I love you Sarah, your so interesting and enchanting." I giggled and sat up "you will find me when you're done right." I asked him excited and he nodded. I hugged Marcus goodbye and walked off to look for Alec and Felix I walked the hallways with confidence, I had won the war....I had my cake and I ate it too, I was in control and I would be no one's victim again. I am woman...... hear me roar. I eventually did find Alec in his room he had a black book, I joined him in his room "Hey kid what's wrong...you look sad." Alec told me he had problems with Jane, that she and he had some sibbling stuff to work through so I hugged Alec, his head rested on my chest and I kissed the top of his head "It's alright Alec tell me everything...I am here for you alright" Alec was quiet for a moment and he started to unleash everything he felt all his feelings. "Yeah Jane's not happy unless she is biting the head off kittens or something like that, she is a horrid little troll." I told Alec and I heard him laugh, I was glad I could cheer Alec up. we spoke for a while and Felix came into the room and said "Alec starting today you and I are Sarah's full time guards, if we are absent julian and dominick will watch Sarah." I looked at Alec and he seemed to cheer up a little more. I patted the ground and Felix joined us, the three of us hung out and had a blast together. Alec told me we did this quite alot before my memory loss and this was normal and I admit it felt good. Marcus eventually came and I ran into his arms and hugged him, thanking him for keeping his promise, he told me it was no problem and it was time for my surprise. So here I am now in my room, Marcus told me to take a few things, that I could not live with out, so I took you and a bag of clothing...I wonder what the surprise is, are we going somewhere? ~Sarah |
InfoSarah Amanda Frost Lived in a world alone and cold where there was no one she could count on or love. After meeting Brian Jacobson that changed she fell in love with him and eventually gave birth to his son Tobias, Sarah now fights in a world of darkness sacrificing herself for the safety of the ones she love. Sarah's Diary is written by Martin. Click here to read first entryArchives
March 2012
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