Topic: Peace at last Date: July 20th, 2009 Dear Diary, It has been two days since my last entry. What can I say about the last two days. I have to be honest with you Diary, I am sick of everything. I have been looking back on the events that have happened and looking back at all the drama and everything in general and I am sick of it all. I even went through my previous entries just to reflect on everything... I realized even when I wrote to you it was chaotic, just too much drama and like I have said I am sick of it. The drama is like a dozen people speaking at me at the exact same time non stop it's enough to drive me insane. I guess I realized this shortly after finishing my last entry. I left my bedroom, I wanted to get some perspective on things... I thought about going to the tower where Felix inspired me to believe in myself, the view there was so beautiful and peaceful... I needed to find Felix first, I still couldn't go anywhere on my own. I did not mind Felix he had this quiet aura around him, he appreciated silence. I eventually found Felix, or should I say Felix found me. Before I could even ask him he told me that I was needed in a meeting. You can imagine how frustrated I was, honestly I wanted some peace and quiet and now I had to go to some meeting. Although I have to admit I was a little curious at the time. So I followed Felix into the throne room and saw Aro, Caius, Demetri, Athenodora and Supicia. I looked at the wives and shivered from the hatred I felt for them and I will admit I am a little afraid of them. The wives gave me a look of loathing and curiosity, I remembered that they did not see me since before my makeover and nodded my head to them, they both looked away at the same time. I found that to be a very strange moment. I decided to look at Aro and saw him walking towards me "ah yes Sarah thank you for joining us, how are you this evening." Aro touched my hands holding them he looked at me with those curious eyes of his. At that exact moment I thought about Aro and his ability, it is said Aro, the king of the Volturi has the ability to see into the into the deepest darkest part of your mind He goes beyond the words that have been spoken, the words that have been hidden with deceitful eyes. He searches your mind and pull out your secrets and all that you know... he knows. The king has such an amazing power, but why did he feel the need to use it on me. Out of curiosity to see what random thoughts a newborn like myself could have? Did he want to see how I dealt with my urges when I saw a nice piece of human. How I think about sinking my nails deep into the flesh of the human, dragging my sharp nail down the human's arm watching as their skin is cut open with a mixture of dark red blood gushing from the wound to have lighter red blood pour out all over the flesh of the human. My ice cold tongue licking up the blood gushing out from the wrist to the shoulder sucking the human dry. That was one of my thoughts, another would have been to stop and allow the human to recover and place a meat hook on the area just below the back of the human's neck I would hang the meat hook up and watch the human suffer in agony as the blood poured out slowly from the holes made by the meat hook. I would hold the human still while my tongue rested on their back and wait for the blood to drip down my tongue... well actually there is another thought that comes to mind, while the human is suffering on that meat hook I would show them a knife and stab them with it twice and leave the knife inside them and use shot glasses and wait for the shot glasses to full up with the human's blood and maybe drink a toast with Marcus. My memory may be gone, but I am aware of my humanity and knowing that I am a newborn I know my humanity is slipping away in the blood lust. I do appear to have some sort of line I won't cross, I won't feed off of children. Marcus has, in the past, claimed that the blood of the child taste especially sweet because they're innocent, untainted by the bitterness of humanity, pure of heart and mind and free from drugs. I heard Marcus speak like that and it disturbed me, he knew it too and told me he wouldn't bring it up again, and so far he hasn't. I am getting off topic... After Aro let go of my hands for a moment he looked disappointed before speaking "well we have a problem as you may have all known, the relationship with Alec and Jane has become very unstable even before Alec has lost his memory. This of course is not good for us... it makes us look weak and unstable... which is not good for our image. We must think of a way to get the two end this foolish feud once and for all." Aro spoke seriously. I looked at Aro and folded my arms trying to think of ideas when Felix suggested Chelsea's assistance. Aro considered the suggestion for a moment and I listened quietly "I would normally ask for Chelsea's assistance, but I believe it's best not to have her use her ability when we have yet to try something healthier, more natural." The wives suggested letting them fight it out... yeah I know right no surprises there, violence solves everything right. I let out a scoff at the idea and they all looked at me. "have you any ideas" Aro asked. I suggested Doctor Phil and they just looked at me blinking and I frowned "never mind" typical they know all about violence, but not talking out their problems... Give doctor Phil a hundred years and he still wouldn't be able to fix the wives anger management issues... probably go the same for the twins especially Jane she is a savage little psycho. The meeting continued and then I suggested locking the two in a room to talk things out and have Demetri blocking the way to stop them from leaving. They all looked at me again curiously "that's just crazy enough to work" spoke Demetri, nothing could stop me from shooting out a dirty look at Demetri, not the dirty kind of look that says hey I want to jump your bones, but the kind that said I want to kick you in the groin as hard as I can. That thought just made me give off a satisfied smile. Aro decided my idea of locking the two in a room to sort out their problems was the best solution for sorting things out. I was excused for the rest of the meeting with Aro, and the others apparently they have this project or something I know I should have been curious, but I couldn't bring myself to care, I just wanted that moment of silence. So I went back to my room, fetched you and went outside to the tower and climbed to the top. I love the view of the night time sky, the stars are such a beautiful sight and the lights of the city... it's enough to make a girl's heart melt at just the sight... well my heart can't melt seeing as I am a vampire and all. I enjoyed sitting at the tower on my own it felt nice just to see how beautiful the scenery was. I wasn't surprised when Felix joined me, the man was my own personal shadow. We sat in silence for the longest of time and it was very enjoyable. Felix did start to surprise me with a question "do you think you will ever tire of Immortality?" the question was so sudden how could I answer it? "you're not thinking of suicide are you, cause if you are that's one whole drama I can't deal with at this moment" I spoke worried about Felix and disappointed this beautiful moment of silence and solitude was going to be turned into a don't do it, you have so much to live for speech and this beautiful moment would probably be the only thing dying, but Felix had given me such support I did owe it to him. Felix chuckled at my words for a moment "no... It's just, I have lived for so long and done so much, I am beginning to get bored of immortality." I rolled my eyes up "Felix you're not an immortal... immortality is just a myth at best. We all live and we all die, granted we come back up for seconds, but we will die too none the less." Felix looked at me "Sarah, vampires will never die, just look at Master Aro he has been alive for thousand of years." I shook my head "Master Aro... he is alive, but not really alive where it counts. Aro is obsessive and greedy, he wants everything and in the end those who want everything end up with nothing." My words seemed to confuse Felix "I do not really understand, that how is he alive, but not really alive he is like I said thousands of years old." Felix repeated. I frowned and leaned my head against his shoulders "Felix you will have to figure that part on your own, I am not sure you recall in Australia I fed on a human and before I killed that human I told that human "Life is, but a fleeting dream... well I stand by it, the true difference between humans and vampires is we get to sleep just a little longer than the humans. We as vampires should understand the true purpose of life, with life there is death, we are alive now so soon we shall have death." Felix was quiet and i wondered if I was clear enough in my answer until he explained "so how will vampires die then if you believe we die eventually then how do you see it happening." His voice seemed curious. I looked up at him and smiled a little "well, I believe that the death of all life will occur when the planet is ready to die... When the world ends it will be in either Fire or ice... when the planet dies when all life dies, we will be no exception, we feed on life to sustain our own lives... we are parasites, but what do we feed on when the planet is dead, when humans or even animals are dead? The whole world could end tomorrow one giant meteor striking the planet making it blow up... I am pretty sure not even we could survive an entire planet blowing up... even if we did it's going to suck floating around in space for the rest of time thirsty and weak and consumed by the never ending burning in our throats." Felix looked horrified he had that look on his face like I had just told him Santa was a pervert. Felix told me I thought about things to much and asked me what should we do then since we were destined for death someday as well as the humans. "that's easy Felix we do as the humans do, explore life and find your own reason for existence. Take the time to enjoy the little things We live longer, that's a blessing we get to see more beauty, more exciting new discoveries we go out and look for adventure and if you go out today or tomorrow and you find nothing new, then you look harder for something new, because there is always something new to discover about life." Felix smiled and thanked me for opening his eyes. He did not bring up immortality again instead we spoke about who would win a fight Jane or Alec which brought a big debate we all knew Jane played dirty while Alec was a lot more sensitive, more elegant than Jane. Eventually Felix jumped off the tower and just waited at the bottom leaning on the tower, he knew I wanted some alone time to just enjoy the peace and quiet, as soon as he jumped down I decided to write to you and tell you everything. Now that I have I think I will go I want to enjoy this moment of clarity and peace while I can, who knows what will come up tomorrow or even once I go inside. ~Sarah Frost
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InfoSarah Amanda Frost Lived in a world alone and cold where there was no one she could count on or love. After meeting Brian Jacobson that changed she fell in love with him and eventually gave birth to his son Tobias, Sarah now fights in a world of darkness sacrificing herself for the safety of the ones she love. Sarah's Diary is written by Martin. Click here to read first entryArchives
March 2012
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