Topic: To protect him, I would kill without hesitation. Date: Saturday May 19th, 2006 Dearest Diary, It has been a while since my last entry, many things have happened and I feel that I must inform you on the events that have been happening not just to vent my frustration, but to gain clarity and perception on my own thoughts. After my last entry I realized that I was seeing things from my own perspective so after putting you away I went out to join my family and observed their celebrations as I told you in my last entry they celebrated… well Alice more than the rest she found herself a new Barbie doll to dress up. The difference was that this time instead of just glancing at my family before excusing myself to come to you I watched them carefully. I tried to put myself in their shoes, to see from their eyes and understand their thoughts. This was very difficult for me and I fear that I haven’t been able to completely see things from their side…I can understand that they want Edward to be happy he has been alone for so long now, and I could understand and empathize with the depths of despair Edward felt, after all I went through that too until I had found Emmett, I know Edward felt that dark void inside him and how it only grew and grew, he felt no joy…it was either a numbness where he felt nothing or it was agony…agony where you wanted to cry and cry your pain, but he couldn’t because when you’re a vampire you cannot cry. Edward could be surrounded by us and he would still feel alone. to feel so empty and dead. I thought I was the only one who could understand Edward’s pain, but after watching my family I realized they understood Edward’s pain and how Bella eased that pain to make his existence bearable. I think that’s all they really care about, of course they have concern for Bella's safety, but mostly it has to be the joy that she brings Edward, The problem is Edward’s joy comes at a price a price that is much too high for Bella to pay she would have to give up her friends, the love of her father…her mother the woman whom raised her and any possibilities of ever having a child perhaps she does not wish to have a child now, but someday she will want one more than anything and it will be impossible for her just like it is for Esme and I. She will forever be frozen in time unable to complete the eternal cycle in a natural way…she will never die and be reincarnated if such a thing exist. I tried my best to watch my family in silence for as long as possible, not participating in their small celebration and eager chatter amongst themselves. I Felt left out and excluded, which instantly I regreted when Jasper glanced at me. I instantly stood up and left the room as gracefully as possible, I made my way to the roof where I watched the sky, as expected Jasper joined me after a few minutes. The silence between us was awkward Jasper was reading my emotions and I hated it. One of the many things I hated about being a vampire is how Edward and Jasper had abilities that invaded my privacy, I hate how Edward could read my thoughts, and Jasper could feel my emotions and know what I feel…I am big on personal privacy if you were me you would be too...I don’t really like people touching me unless it’s Emmett I have a lot of trust and faith in him. Diary I don’t think you will ever truly understand how important Emmett is to me, I have feelings for him that is so powerful it transcends words, I believe when you love someone enough you get this way of communicating without speaking it’s like our hearts communicate to each other…Emmett knows me better than anyone, Just as I Know him. I know Emmett wanted to be with me now, he wanted to try and make things easier for me, but he knows that I needed time to think of course Jasper didn’t realize that, he could sense and manipulate my emotions if he wanted to, but he didn’t know the thoughts behind my emotions. I glanced at Jasper and he smiled that shy kind of smile he had and he spoke “you’re troubled Rosalie…what’s on your mind.” He asked, Jasper’s voice was always soft and quiet, it wasn’t like my Emmett’s voice where joy and laughter ring from every syllable Just thinking about my beloved Emmett makes me crave him desperately. “I am always troubled Jasper…maybe you could help me, why don’t you tell me what my emotions are Jasper” I asked him as calm as possible, he seemed to be surprised “your emotions their not just confusing to you, but to me too, I sense so much emotion from you it’s overwhelming I sense that your frustrated as if no one could see from your view, perhaps because you fail to truly understand the views of those around you…that frustration is turning into anger and it’s troubling you. You feel excluded Rosalie and its hurting you…you feel confliction too because you want Edward to be happy, but what he is doing to Bella is wrong because it’s stealing her humanity and everything a human life has to offer…you’re also jealous of Bella and you hate it.” I didn’t let jasper finish I shot him a look of fury and he shivered for a moment and I looked away from him to look forward “well…I must be as easy to read as a book” I spat bitterly and regretted it the moment the words escaped my lips, I hated being vulnerable in front of my family it always made me feel weak. After inhaling a deep unnecessary breathe of air I apologized and asked Jasper how he felt on the whole Bella situation and why Jasper’s answer just left me surprised “It would be nice being around Isabella without the urge to drain her dry…on the plus side Edward would be happy too…I like happy Edward he doesn’t become a part of the furniture.” Jasper’s answer it’s so noble and simple unlike my own thoughts the thoughts that were so complex, confusing and frustrating. Jasper interrupted my reflective thoughts by telling me “The whole ordeal with Edward, Bella and the Volturi... it’s not your fault Rosalie… it’s mine, it was my weakness that caused everyone such pain that almost destroyed our family…my apologies for the pain this has caused you.” Jasper had blamed himself as much as I have if not more…I couldn’t let Jasper shoulder this blame. I smiled and wrapped my arm around him pulling him in “you have nothing to be sorry for Jasper.” I told him with a reassuring smile, I don’t want my family to suffer…I love them too much to see them suffer, Jasper seemed to smile and I thanked him, he asked me why I was thanking him to which I replied “for caring enough to comfort me you really are the charmer in the family aren’t you Mr charisma” I joked, Jasper smiled and you know seeing Jasper smile was a treat, because you just got this warmth from him. It’s the very essence of love itself…at least that’s what I believe. After our conversation we went back to join the others. I went with Emmett and hugged him, he wrapped his big strong manly arms around me and I felt safe, and oh goodness I felt that spark I always felt with Emmett. To humans our skin is hard like marble and ice cold, but that’s because we are two different species, but Emmett and I are the same species so to me his touch was soft, the sensation of his touch, it made my skin tingle with anticipation. Emmett ever so gentle stroked my bangs from my face and leaned in to kiss me on my lips, I could feel his soft lips pressed against mine and all my troubles and thoughts melted away at least for a little while. I thought things would settle down, granted the hound dog Jacob Black threatened Edward about the treaty reminding Edward to our agreement….Honestly that mongrel has some nerve, how dare he remind us, we know full very well of the treaty we were there and we made it that stupid infant is here on our land threatening us I honestly hate the mutts. Edward informed us of the situation and I asked Carlisle what he intended to do now, he had no answer…I knew he still intended to change Bella. Perhaps I am over thinking the whole Quileute, Edward and Bella situation, maybe with Bella’s luck a falling meteor would come and send the wolves into oblivion while she is visiting them…you may question the statistical possibilities, but that’s only because you haven’t met Bella the human is a one woman disaster zone. A few days after the whole vote and threat incident there was something interesting in the paper, there is trouble in Seattle…people have been vanishing in peculiar ways and others turning up dead…these events aren’t the type of thing a human would do…It’s a vampire thing, Jasper confided in me and he has two theories the first is a newborn…the second, well its horrible to even contemplate, someone is creating a newborn army…an army of newborn vampires something I believe to be unforgivable. Jasper is firm in his theory about this and I trust his instincts on this, the truth about Jasper he has experience with newborns and an army, Jasper was once a confederate solder, perhaps the youngest in it’s history. One night he happened to come across three foul low some little trolls who thought Jasper would be useful because of his military rank…they changed him and turned him into a vampire…after raising Jasper from the hellish newborn years they started to build an army using Jasper and his talents…so you can see Diary that my brother is very knowledgeable in this field. Edward decided not to tell Bella about it right away, he doesn’t want her to worry, I disagree with this choice of his, but last thing I wanted to do was give him even more reason to loathe me…speaking of Edward, I am glad he is alive and safe so very glad…we may not get along all the time, but he is family I love Edward and would never wish him harm…recently however he is beginning to annoy me, well it’s not Edward just his actions. He wants to protect her from the danger around her, but at the same time he is the one putting her in danger. Vampire and human relationships don’t work out because vampires have at tendencies to I dunno…eat their lovers…see I can see a possible ending to this little star crossed lovers tale, Edward loses it and drain’s Bella dry then what, we leave forks for the next one hundred years, in best case scenario Edward would hate himself for eternity the worst case scenario he goes all suicidal approaching the Volturi again. There is something else that I need to tell you diary. Four days ago Alice had one of her visions she saw Victoria returning to Forks, Alice described her vision so vividly she saw Victoria running through the forest the wind was against her as she ran her long flaming red hair was pushed back leaving a few strands of her red hair floating towards the ground she had previously ran across. Edward of course knew about the vision as soon as Alice had it thanks to his ability to read minds he witnessed Alice’s vision first hand. After school Edward informed us of the vision, he is keeping it from Bella naturally. He has a plan and is carefully going over the details; Alice has been helping him out by seeing the outcomes of the plan. Finally Edward came up with a solid plan, he was going to get Bella to use the plain tickets Esme gave her for her birthday Edward is going with bella to protect her…All in all I got to say the plan was solid and it worked. Bella and Edward were out of Forks, that left us hunting down Victoria oh joy that’s exactly how I wanted to spend my Saturday afternoon chasing down a woman scorned by my brother’s human girlfriend….yes diary I am using sarcasm and once you find out what happened today you will understand. We hunted Victoria, we were following the fast witch and she had speed it was all going according to Alice vision, but there was something Alice could never predict we weren’t the only ones hunting Victoria, little did we know on the very boarders between our land and the land of the Quileute’s that the pack of flea bitten mongrels were chasing after Victoria from their side. We both ran after Victoria and just when we thought we had her she went towards the Quileute land. She pounced over the boarder and into No man’s land a land that was agreed to be neither Quileute nor ours. Emmett, my brave, courageous, Emmett followed after in a plunge trying to get Victoria. One of the wolves had the nerve to attack Emmett; I stopped and stood there in shock watching that freak mongrel on top of Emmett, I ask myself even now how could an eternity pass within a second, that’s how it felt I stood there in shock watching my very reason for my existence life be placed in jeopardy and then a flash back came to me one that happened so many years ago, after the treaty was made. I could remember Edward telling me that their first target would have been Emmett, because he looked to be the strongest and most threatening… they were wrong it was me they needed to look out for, because if they killed Emmett I would not only kill each one of those mongrels, but I would walk to La push and unleash a deathly fury that they could never imagine before I in turn destroy myself. What felt like an eternity, was only a few seconds? “Emmet!t” I screamed out, my body reacted on it’s own as I ran and leaped into the no man’s zone I picked up that mongrel sinking my fingers into it’s furry coat and flesh and tossed him off my Emmett, and for the first time since my newborn years I snapped I crouched standing in front of Emmett who was still on his back I was hissing out and I could feel the venom drip from my mouth, my golden eyes went pure black as I felt my burning rage and the burning in my throat consume me. I was determined to slaughter those bastards all of them, they had to die I stood upright and moved upright, the pack became alert, but before I could get close to them I could feel someone grabbing my left and right arm. I looked to see Esme on my left and Alice on my right. Carlisle jumped down and stood in front of me his back was turned to me and he was trying to negotiate with those mutts. “Let me go I’ll kill them all, NO ONE TOUCHES MY MAN….I’M GOING TO DESTROY YOU ALL YOU HEAR ME STARTING WITH THE MUTT THAT DARED ATTACK MY EMMETT” I screamed out I was still moving forward, Esme was trying to calm me, she had one hand on my arm trying to hold me back with Alice while another hand on my cheek she was speaking softly saying “it’s ok Rosalie…Emmett is fine, calm down shhhh it’s going to be fine.” I flinched at Esme's touch, she was wrong she knew nothing, it wouldn’t be fine…they were out to hurt my Emmett, they had the balls to do what their ancestors couldn’t they were trying to take my soul mate from me…my reason for existing if I could cry I would be in an ocean of tears while I tried to get to those mongrels to rip them to shreds. It was obvious Esme and Alice couldn’t hold me off for much longer as I could hear Alice speak “Jasper some help” But before jasper could do anything I felt it…that spark as Emmett’s arms wrapped around my waist he lifted me off the ground holding me in that bear hug of his from behind. Alice and Esme let go and Emmett pulled me back telling me to calm down that he was fine I felt his lips on my neck, as he gently kissed me to try and reassure me. Emmett couldn’t do it though he couldn’t calm me down not this time. “You Put me down this instant, I am not done with those FLEA BITTEN MUTTS NOT BY A LONG SHOT” I yelled out for their benefit, Carlisle turned his head over his shoulder to look at me, he could see I was traumatized by it and I could see it on his face he was worried about me…I didn’t care I only wanted to kill them, I wanted to slit their necks with my nails. I wanted to bite into their flesh and pull out chunks of flesh…sure I would spit out fur balls for a week but it would be worth it. Emmett placed his chin on my shoulder and held me eventually Carlisle calmed them down. Carlisle came to check on me and I couldn’t look at them…thankfully they left and once everyone was gone Emmett let me go I turned to look at him I wanted to cry so much I looked at him he had that grin on his face, that grin he would put on to get out of trouble I made a first and banged my hand on his chest as he grin “Don’t you pull that get out of jail grin on me Emmett you scared me” I banged on it over and over until he wrapped his arms around me again to reassure me and I sobbed in his arms. I couldn’t cry but I sobbed, he stroked my hair and reassured me that he was fine and he was sorry he scared me. We stood in the no man’s zone for so long until I could muster up the strength I needed, we went hunting before returning home I kept quiet, once we returned home I went to my room and sat alone I was still traumatized by it…Emmett joined me and he wrapped his arms around me holding me and I asked him not to let go I needed him now oh god how I needed him. We sat there in silence, well mostly Emmett was chatting he kept saying sorry and promising he would never leave me I looked down at my wedding ring and remembered my life with Emmett, all the wonderful and magical times we had together and hopefully still will have…what happened today was because of Bella, she kept putting her life and the life of those who I love in danger…she couldn’t see how much she was hurting everyone that selfish human…I was thankful Edward wasn’t here, because for the first time in my immortality I had an evil thought…if Emmett died because of Bella I would kill everyone who contributed to his true death….even Bella. I will never understand why Bella wants’ this life, Perhaps many humans would see vampirism as a gift something wonderful and enlightening, but I see it as a true curse, being a vampire I have a very very long and clear memory, for the rest of eternity I will have to live with just how close I came to loosing my Emmett, and I will carry this day and that fear with me forever….but my resolve has only strengthened, I must try and change Bella’s mind and save her from this life curse.. All life has value; she deserves to have her life free from conflict free from violence and full of wonderful human experiences. I need to go now…I need Emmett god I really need him. ~Rosalie Hale
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Topic: How do I begin to make amends to my brother, when it is my belief that he is robbing his true love of a normal life?
Date: March 22, 2006 Dearest Diary, It has been a few days since my last entry, the last time I have left you was with the fact that Bella was alive somehow she survived jumping off a cliff, now if I didn’t know any better I would have sworn she is like a cat she seems to have more lives than one, well I have found out how Isabella Swan has survived the leap of death I will get to that later. First I had to explain what went on while Edward, Bella and Alice were in Volterra. Carlisle called a family meeting The Denali’s attended naturally they are our cousins not only that, but we were a guest in their home. We all decided that it would be in the family’s best interest to return home…well most of us, I believed that Bella’s suicide attempt was not enough to change things, the girl could still pull through this, she could still be happy we could somehow warn Charlie of Bella’s self endangerment. Carlisle disagreed, he told me “Edward’s actions have set events in motion, we have no choice, but to return to Forks Rosalie” He went on into the standard we are family speech, I think I have moaned about Carlisle gift for guilt trips before so there is no need to tell you again. Emmett and everyone was packing while I noticed Irena still concerned about Laurent she still wasn’t feeding properly I could tell from how dark her eyes were. She was torturing herself by not feeding properly, the burning in her throat must be intense. I looked at my cousin and remembered how talk from four days ago….ha only four days ago it feels so much longer, it feels like its been a year instead. We were all packed and I went to say good bye to my cousins, every one had already left with the exception of Emmett and myself, I looked at Irena and went to hug her “have faith everything will turn out for the best.” I told her, Irena looked down and I lifted her chin with my finger “come on Irena remembered what I told you, Irena be strong and have faith in Laurent” she nodded her head weakly with one last hug I let go of Irena and left I climbed into the car with Emmett and decided to let him drive. we left the Denali’s and for there was nothing, but silence it was just the two of us Emmett had turned on the radio and I turned it off, I wasn’t in the mood for music, and talk back radio of course Emmett must have been because he turned the radio on again and I turned it off and he pulled over to the side of the road, he turned his head to look at me and I looked at him “come on babe cheer up, no one is blaming you, not Carlisle, not Esme. Why are you punishing yourself.” He asked me. It was true Carlisle and Esme did not blame me, I expected anger….no I wanted anger I wanted them to hate me for my stupidity and recklessness that I had put the life of not just my brother, but my sister in risk. If something happened to Edward or Alice it would be my own fault, because it was I who had set things into motion, by telling Edward that Bella had committed suicide, I had jumped to conclusions and it was because of my rash actions that Edward had decided that death was the only option for him was to seek death…when I think about his actions now it doesn’t make sense to me, Edward seeks death, but why it’s not like he could reunite with her. Edward believes that he as a vampire has no soul, so when he dies he would go to hell….so by Edward’s beliefs he wouldn’t rejoin with Bella…his death would be meaningless how he could not see this… I guess that’s how grief is, it clouds all reason from the logic of your mind, to the feelings in your heart. Grief makes you do foolish and reckless things; because your mind and heart are out of sync at least that’s my theory of it. Emmett and I sat in the car and we spoke, eventually Emmett undid my seat belt and pulled me into his lap, he hugged me and I rested my head on his broad shoulders and closed my eyes, I felt a wave of bathe over me relieving me from all the pain of my involvement in this matter I knew the peace I felt would not last long, I did not deserve peace in fact I deserve every horrible thing. I pulled back “I am all better now Emmett thank you” I told him and leaned in to kiss his lips for just a brief moment I climbed out of Emmett’s lap and sat in the passenger side of the seat. Emmett started my car and drove on, I have to admit the road trip back to Forks was a little easier to bare. I felt the wind blow against me my long blond hair blown back from the wind each strand of hair dancing from the breeze. I looked at Emmett and smiled thanking the heavens above for blessing me with this man who has made immortality bearable. Emmett turned the Radio on again and the song that was playing shocked me, It felt like I was slapped in the face with such force. The song playing on the Radio it was Independent women by Destiny child….this song as I have told you this was Alice and my jam song…I smiled for a moment remembering the drive to the Denali's from the shopping trip Alice and I were singing this together of course she would always sing the notes higher that sister of mine she always had to do things her own way she is a stubborn one that sister of mine. Thinking of Alice made me feel a conflicting warmth and joy and sadness I feel joy because I am lucky enough to have a sister who cares, a sister who would never abandon me for a best friend and would always want the best for me and wish me well in life, It’s true Alice has grown close to Bella and I did feel that she had abandoned me, but I realized she didn’t abandon me…I was so envious and Jealous of Bella that I couldn’t see past the layers that was Alice…she just wanted another friend and sister, it didn’t mean she didn’t love me I couldn’t see that till now It has taken me now this life and death situation where I could loose not just my big brother, but my sister too…and this is why I feel sadness because of me everything is out of whack, Alice should be sitting in the back seat with Jasper, I could see us now as soon as this song came on we would have been singing along Alice singing in a higher pitch of course, but still It would have been amazing. It was half way through the song before I snapped back into reality and out of my head, I leaned down to the radio and changed the station Emmett looked at me concerned and I poked my tongue out at him, he chuckled and I smiled weakly. The song that came on was surprising it was almost as if it was fate the song was called Heavily Broken by the Veronica’s I had to admit I felt like I could identify with the song. I listened to it in silence and the song finally ended. Emmett looked at me while he drove my car “eyes on the road Emmett” I spoke smiling, he looked at the road and he asked me what was on my mind, I thought about it and for that moment all that was on my mind was Emmett, I felt horrible that I was being so needy how I was only thinking of myself as usual. Of course this must be tough for Emmett and everyone else too, it was at that moment I kept asking myself why I couldn’t be a pillar of strength like Esme. I decided try and be like Esme “Only you are on my mind Emmett, tell me how are you what are you thinking.” Emmett seemed surprised he looked to the road and I could see that rare serious expression on his face “I was actually thinking how grateful I am to jasper for stopping you Rosalie…the thought of you being any where near the Volturi it frightens me…I know they aren’t villains that they uphold the law, but I am scared I am going to loose you…and if we went to Volterra to try and help we probably would have gotten hurt or killed….you could have gotten killed Rosalie.” He spoke the concern in his voice was so alarming. I knew I had to reassure him, to see Emmett so concerned so worried it was an injustice to the world, he is my sun he gives me warmth. “Emmett it’s alright.” Before I finished he interrupted me “no Rose it’s not, I can’t live without you babe the thought of seeing your beautiful body damaged to see that beautiful light leave your eyes…it would destroy me rose.” I was so touched by him, the way he was concerned for me, Royce would never have been that concerned for me. I smiled “sorry Emmett your stuck with me for life with no possible chance of parole” I lifted my statuesque hand pointing to my wedding ring Emmett gave me the night he proposed for the first time. He looked at me and chuckled “well it’s a good thing the warden is so sexy” I laughed, and as my hair blew back from the wind I smiled “Emmett you know if something ever did happen to me…I just want you to know I would still be with you, even in true death…I will never leave your side” Emmett looked at me “that’s the same I feel about you babe how about this…Ill watch your back and protect you and you ca watch my back so we can look after each other from harm….that way we will never have to worry about loosing each other.” Emmett suggested to me. I smiled “babe I been watching your back since day one, look at that fine ass I could just slap it.” I spoke playfully trying to get him to laugh and I was successful “well maybe later you can punish me, I have been a naughty boy.” My smile grew wider and if I could blush my cheeks would have probably been a rose shade red. I felt that warm feeling inside and I realized everything would be fine, because I have Emmett and he is my life my entire life and he was safe, because he is with me. As for Edward, Bella and Alice I just have to believe they will come back safely, Alice she is a smart woman and those two combined are formidable, Jasper doesn’t know this, but Alice and Edward have this way of communicating with each other. I don’t know the full system of it all that well, because I have only noticed it a few times usually I'm distracted by Emmett or just trying to keep my thoughts simplified. I of course feel terrible for my part in this ordeal, but for now I should just be with Emmett, because I know he is worried about Alice, Bella and Edward too he is just putting on a strong front for me, I bet he thinks that if he acts casual Ill relax. I sighed quietly as Emmett drove and I closed my eyes, the sun was setting I opened my eyes to look at the snow on the side of the road, and had this random thought about how pure it was I don’t think I have ever seen dirty snow…one day maybe I will. I looked back at the big orange sunset and put on my shades, The radio stopped playing adds and another song came on it was Iris , by the Goo Goo Dolls I acted on impulse and undid my seat belt and I stood up and climbed onto the passenger seat where I was sitting I breathed in the ice cold air and tasted how fresh it was, the air around these parts were unpolluted I smiled and danced to the music my hair was blowing against the wind forcing my hair to flow like a river of hair. I leaned down to pick up my scarf and held it out I could feel the wind pull back the scarf as it danced along with my hair at the same time I moved with the music and felt free, closing my eyes I moved my arms out and I felt the wind against me, I felt like I was flying so free and unrestrained. Opening my eyes I saw the sun continue to set and I let go of my scarf allowing it to get blown off by the wind to dance a beautiful dance of soaring freedom. The wind will let the scarf fly for just a little while…lucky scarf. I sat back down “Hey I wanna try that babe.” Emmett spoke he undid his seat belt and started to move “NOT WHEN YOUR DRIVING NOT WHEN YOUR DRIVING!” I shouted alarmed, it’s not like we would get hurt or anything, but the fact is I loved this car it was a beauty. Emmett chuckled at me “your sexy when your alarmed” I scowled at Emmett for a moment “actually that look is sexy too babe” I rolled my eyes up “yeah yeah Emmett.” I told him in disbelief. Much to my joy we finally made it back to Forks…we were home, we had removed everything from storage and started to unpack everything setting up our home, we had accomplished that fast Carlisle, Esme, Jasper, Emmett and myself. It gave us something to do other than to worry about Alice, Bella and Edward. It had only taken us a little more over an hour to get everything set up perfectly, I was obsessed with my room and Jasper received a phone call, in a flash we were around jasper nervous about what would happen, the phone call was a few moments long, when it ended jasper told us the news “it’s ok their coming home….all of them.” I gasped with relief and turned to hug Emmett who was standing behind me, Emmett had lifted me up and spun me around “see babe I knew it would be alright.” He lowered me onto the ground and I hugged him tight they were safe and that’s all that mattered to me. Jasper had gone on to tell us that they were catching a plane back and we of course went to greet them, Esme, Carlisle and Jasper went in to the airport to greet Alice, Bella and Edward, I wanted to do the same too, but I felt so ashamed I couldn’t bring myself to going in, So I ended up waiting in the underground garage, Emmett waited with me naturally he knew was my pillar of support and he was too good for me I knew that. I waited with Emmett leaning against the black sedan I felt relieved that my brother and sister was safe, but so horrible that I was the cause of this entire ordeal. “Come on babe lighten up what’s the worse that could happen, you know Edward, he will only stew in this for one maybe two hundred years tops.” I looked at Emmett he was trying so hard to lighten the mood, still apart of me wanted to stomp on his foot because how I felt was just something no humor could relieve. I saw the group had finally arrived, I looked at Isabella it looked like she had gone through hell, she was barely standing and she was paler than usual, she seemed to perk up a little when she saw me, but still she looked ghastly, when I saw my brother Edward I could see him stiffen up a little and I knew this was bad, I could hear Esme whisper to Edward “Don’t she feel’s awful” Edward looked at me with loathing his gaze was icy “She should” he had spoken with no attempt to hide it, I couldn’t stop myself from flinching as he spoke. I had begun to look down when I heard Isabella defend me, I Looked at her in awe I had treated her so poorly, ignored the human like she had the plague and even placed her life in mortal peril and yet here she is defending me with her words “It’s not her fault” I couldn’t help, but think “yes it is” Esme pleaded with Edward to allow me to make amends and I truly did want to make amends. My thoughts were unintentionally screaming for the chance to make amends I was going over my apology in my head so many times, that it didn’t occur to me Edward could hear my thoughts. Edward had glowered at me and I flinched Bella had spoken again and Edward had caved in to it. Emmett and I climbed into the front of the Sedan and waited for Bella and Edward to come in. I did my seat belt up and looked in the review mirror, Emmett was driving again, but I wanted to see Bella and Edward. Edward had pulled Bella close and the engine of the car purred like a kitten “Edward” I spoke, before I could continue he had cut me off “I know” he spoke in that tone of voice I had hated, I had previously noticed ever since Bella came along that Edward seemed to use that tone on me a lot. I had to make amends to Bella and I only hoped that the words I felt were sincere enough for her to believe me “Bella” I spoke The human’s eyes shot wide open as if for a split moment she was wide awake, I gathered up my courage not knowing how long the poor thing could stay awake “I’m so very sorry, Bella I feel wretched about every part of this and so grateful that you were brave enough to go save my brother after what I did please say you’ll forgive me” Bella of course being a better women than I forgave me in a heart beat. I felt relieve wash over my body and Emmett oh that Emmett naturally he had to open that mouth of his “it doesn’t count until she’s conscious, rose” I glowered at him and I could hear Bella defending herself. We had dropped Bella off at Charlie’s and he was very upset which was completely understandable, He had forbidden Edward to set one foot into his home and to stay away from Bella. We had all gone home with the exception of Edward I think he went hunting or possibly sneaked into Bella’s room Alice had explained the entire situation to us, everything that went on with the Volturi including the news, Bella had to be changed it was the law of the Volturi, I didn’t like this at all….I didn’t want Bella to become a vampire…the girl deserved a long and happy life to become a wife then a mother…..eventually a grandmother… she deserved that. She didn’t deserve being stuck in time. I looked down and felt Emmett’s arms around me, It was evening when Alice told us she had a vision, Bella had made a decision that was going to affect us all she was coming to the house and she was going to call a vote…A vote that would decide the outcome of our lives would we turn Bella and obey the law of the Volturi or would we defy the law and fight for this human child’s life. The vote of course had come, and Apart from Edward I was the only one who voted no…I did not do it out of spite and I made sure to explain my reason’s behind it…if I had a choice, I would have chosen no…Carlisle told Bella he would change her after graduation since Edward refused to do it. After she left we spoke about the events a great deal, Alice and Esme seemed excited about the whole thing, “with Bella living with us I can dress her up when ever I want so many outfits and she will have no where to run or hide” typical Alice and they call me the shallow one, I rolled my eyes up and went to my bedroom, I didn’t really feel like listening in on Emmett, Jasper and Carlisle celebrating they all thought this was a good thing. So I came to you my dearest diary to catch you up in the event’s that has happened, and as I write to you now I realize it’s funny the only other person who agrees with me hates my guts it’s all bizarre, anyway I am going to go now and see if their all still talking about Bella’s death date….hopefully I can steal Emmett away and take him to that old shack and have some alone time. ~Rosalie Hale When the damsel is dead the knight despairs, mourning the precious life that has been lost. The knight travels to his king and begs for bitter sweet obliteration to end his life and reunite with the one who gave the knight the most precious gift of all... LOVE.
Topic: the swan that leaped to her death only to fly and defy gravity Date:March 19th 2006 Dearest Diary, I have made a horrible horrible mistake it's because of me that Edward's very life is in danger. After my last entry I called Edward on his phone and he answered it. He was so lifeless I thought about Edward and in his current condition I wondered if he could handle the news of Bella’s death. He invested so much into Bella, his very heart. I thought about how to tell him I know I had to be tactful about it, it's not like i could say "hey Bella pulled an Esme" the very thought of saying that is hurtful because what Esme went through can't be mocked, she suffered so much. I can relate to Esme, her first husband was abusive so she suffered through agony and humiliation. But she held on and stood her ground because she wanted a child so bad but sadly she ended up losing her child and in complete despair she jumped off a cliff to end it all, the sorrow and pain. So you see to say something like that would be insensitive and tactless I feel ashamed just for thinking it. I made small talk while at the same time tried to think of the most humane way to tell my older brother how the love of his life has perished in a moment of despair. "Edward I" I spoke out but he interrupted me "what is the real reason for calling me Rosalie" Edward asked me. I expected to hear that short tempered tone in his voice, but it was bleak and lifeless. I wondered if Edward was feeding properly, I could imagine his messy bronze hair with dark circles around his eyes and and pitch black eyes. "Edward it's about Bella" I could hear his breathing stop immediately. See vampires don't need air to breathe, but we do it anyway because it helps us fit in with humans, that and if we don't breathe we can't smell things which would be bad because I enjoy the scent of the rain and my lovely monkey man. "I was trying to tell you before you interrupted me. Edward, Bella is dead...Alice had a vision of her jumping off the cliff and she didn't resurface" Edward asked me what I was talking about and I explained everything from the start starting with Alice’s vision of Bella leaping off the cliff and how her vision ended right after she entered the water. Edward was quiet, probably shocked, I imagined the bleak look of hopelessness on his face as he first realized that Bella was dead. I could imagine the darkness in his eyes webbed with the image of Bella in his mind as he literally saw a specter of her standing before him with her pale skin with her dark brown hair blowing back leaving her neck partially exposed he probably would have imagined her wearing jeans a brown shirt with a flannel shirt over the shirt, the scar from James' bite barely visible from the flannel over shirt. Edward would have opened his jaw just a little the moment of silence lasted a few seconds but felt like hours had gone, the silence was broken as I heard Edward speak. "I was going to go back... beg for her to forgive me to take me back... why... this is all my fault" Edward's voice was different it wasn’t bleak and emotionless, it was heartbroken, it was so hard for me to hear it. Hearing Edward’s voice it made my heart weighted down. I never did like Bella much but Edward did I tried to clear it up with Edward I tried to beg him to go see Carlisle and Esme, that he needed them now more than ever. He just said something cryptic "can't be true will see for myself" Edward hung the phone up on me and I placed the phone down I folded my arms and looked down I wondered if I should tell Carlisle and Esme. I was surprised to hear Emmett "you told Edward didn't you" he asked me his voice lacked the usual mischievous attitude. He was sad too, he liked Bella too. He thought she made things more exciting she had such a flare for bad luck, Emmett found it amusing. "I don’t understand how she could do it" Emmett spoke, his voice was sad I imagined he was sad for Edward too I walked towards Emmett and placed my hand on his cheek "we should tell Esme and Carlisle about Bella... Edward will need all the support he can get" I spoke caressing Emmett's cheek my finger going slowly. Emmett closed his eyes and gave a low moan I moved in close to hug Emmett, to wrap my arms around his big muscular body it was always a challenge. I enjoy tracing my finger over his muscular chest to feel the abs on his warm body. Emmett was quiet and I hugged him tighter "you know I think you would look hot as a blond" I told Emmett trying to cheer him up, Emmett snorted a laugh "baby I am fine just the way I am." I nodded " I know Emmett, what I am trying to say is with the amount of fun and trouble you get into you should really be a blond." I informed Emmett trying to sound seductive I wanted to distract him. Emmett looked at me laughed "come on babe I'm a saint" Emmett spoke cheering up just a little. I remember feeling an accomplishment with myself at that moment, distracting Emmett from the grief he was sharing for Edward. "you're only a saint when you're asleep the rest of the time you're my sexy god" Emmett looked at me confused and spoke "but we never sleep babe" Emmett spoke "exactly my point you sexy beast" I told him and slipped my hand under his shirt to feel his abs of steel with the hand on my side I placed it on Emmett's arm and pulled him down to kiss him passionately letting my tongue explore his mouth. It seemed my plan to distract Emmett was working as his hands rested on my waist for a moment Emmett's big hands traveled from my waist and down to the outer thighs to rest firmly on my buttocks. Emmett pulled me in with force my chest hit his torso with a thud Emmett pulled back from my lips and moved in to kiss my neck as his hands massaged my buttocks a soft moan escape my lips as Emmett worked his manly touch on me I loved his touch. Emmett pulled back and slowly removed his shirt slowly, tormenting me with the delicious godlike muscles of a god looking at those muscles, especially in daylight to see how his chest sparkled like an ocean of diamonds, just seeing it is enough for me to tackle Emmett and rip that shirt off his chest and take him over and over. But the only thing stopping me was the thought that Emmett needed the distraction so I allowed him to be in charge so he could keep his mind busy. Emmett finally removed his shirt and dropped it. Emmett grabbed my hand and guided it to the zipper of his jeans "give me a hand babe" Emmett asked his voice was excited and cocky I raised my eyebrow "your wish is my command, I live to obey my god" I got on my knees and unbuttoned the jeans and undid the little buckle and pulled down Emmett’s zipper to see his white underwear "what you're not going commando today" I asked Emmett seductively. He chuckled " sorry babe I know you like it when you can see my manhood, and touch it" I smiled sheepishly I knew if I was still human I would have been blushing I mean don't get me wrong Emmett and I aren’t shy about this stuff we show our love even if Esme wished we were more discreet about our relationship, but that's just not us. When we are together we want the whole world to know the pleasure we get from each others company. I pulled down Emmett's jeans and placed my hands on his thighs rubbing those sexy thighs right down to his calf’s where I massaged it. I heard Emmett moan "come on babe stop playing with me" I looked up at Emmett still on my knees and smiled "I thought you liked it when I played with you" I asked coyly Emmett chuckled "oh you know I do babe, but this is not the kind of playing I enjoy" he spoke in that deep cocky voice of his I remained on my knees and lifted myself up a little so my buttocks were no longer resting on the back of my legs and I leaned in to kiss his bellybutton and my lips traveled down his smooth pale skin to the waistband of Emmett's designer underwear, Calvin Klein. My teeth grabbed the designer underwear at the waistband and my hands went to Emmett's ass where I massaged his firm tight ass over the underwear. I could hear Emmett's excited laugh and just as I was about to rip the underwear off with my teeth my phone went off and I let go of the underwear I heard Emmett groan a little disappointed. I kissed Emmett's belly button and got up. Emmett grumbled something disappointed. I went to the phone it had Esme on caller I.D after answering it Esme told me Jasper had called Carlisle right after Alice had left in order to discuss on the best way to tell Edward on Bella's death. My eyes widened and I bit on my bottom lip I could not bring myself to tell Esme I already told Edward what happened so I instead asked Esme how far she and Carlisle were from the Denali's. Esme told me she was about 30 minuets away, Carlisle was really testing the limitations of the rental car. Esme hung up and I sighed I knew things would only get a lot harder when they found out the truth that I had already told Edward. I listened carefully and sighed I could hear the roar of the engine from Carlisle's rental car it was loud like a lions roar the dominating noise echoed through out the lands I sighed quietly. Emmett no doubt heard Esme and the roar of the rental cars engine. Emmett placed his hand on my buttocks, I felt his bare muscular body rub up behind me as I felt his godlike body continue to stay against me "wanna make it a quickie babe" Emmett asked me I nodded my head "sure I could use a distraction. There is, but one problem with that now" I told him. Emmett looked concerned "as if you know how to go quick your a real man with stamina" I informed Emmett, he chuckled and stepped out in front of me still in his designer underwear "normally that's true,but with all that teasing I could burst any moment" Emmett spoke. I rolled my eyes up and he kissed my forehead Emmett started to pull at my clothing "so I please you good huh babe" Emmett spoke and I laughed "you're my magnificent god almighty I could search a THOUSAND years and no one could come close to pleasing me and making me feel like you make me feel" I spoke as I placed my hands at his waist my thumbs under his Calvin Klines "just a warning babe when you pull those Calvin Klines down you prepare yourself for the time of your life, the earth will shake your body will twitch in pleasure for hours on end and you will swear you've been floating with the stars at night" I rolled up my eyes Emmett was so arrogant and cocky he is so lucky I love that about him. "enough talk lets get these clothes off you" I spoke and pulled Emmett’s pants down to his ankles I looked at Emmett and he pulled off my top and my phone went off again. Emmett groaned and rested his head on my shoulder "aww babe" he pouted I rubbed Emmett’s large back "we would have had to have stopped anyway Esme and Carlisle are almost here" I told him. Emmett grumbled "it never stopped us before" I smiled a little Emmett had a good point I always wanted Emmett and he wanted me just as much. I painfully pulled away from Emmett so I could put my top back on and picked up my phone to see it was Alice calling. I picked up the phone and answered it greeting Alice and she seemed distressed and asked to speak to Carlisle, but Carlisle wasn’t here yet. I estimated 15 to 20 minutes tops. Alice spoke "Rose I need to talk to Carlisle now" she spoke urgently "Carlisle is not here. His phone is just out of reception he should be back soon, are you coming over too?" Alice answered in a rush then she asked the question I knew would get me in trouble I had to confess so I confessed "Alice I told Edward that Bella committed suicide that she is dead." Alice paused for a moment and answered "why... why would you do that Rosalie" Alice spoke her voice had traces of anger in it" I felt Edward deserved to know that Bella is dead so he can move on with his life and accept the truth, Bella Swan is dead. I didn’t think it would be a problem Alice" I spoke out trying to sound normal. Emmett came in to hug me from behind I knew this was hard on my gentle monkey man I can tell you this now, what Alice told me next I would never have guessed in 1000 years. "yeah well you're wrong on both counts though Rosalie so that would be a problem don’t you think" Alice spat at me her voice was like acid the amount of malice in her voice I could imagine her angry expression and I looked blankly ahead of me as my brain processed this new information. My jaw dropped a little and I could feel Emmett's grip tighten around me in shock he had heard everything Alice had told me. I knew Emmett was happy I could feel it I did not need Jasper's gift to know my mans emotions. "you mean to tell me Isabella Swan... Edward's Bella is alive. But how can that be Alice you had a vision that Bella jumped off a cliff and you did not see her resurface you told us that Alice... she cant be alive its impossible" I told Alice still somewhat in disbelief. Then of course Alice told me "yes that's right she's absolutely fine- I was wrong... it's a long story... but you're wrong about that part too that's why I'm calling … yes that's exactly what i saw" I couldn’t think of anything to say for a moment I realized what that meant for Edward "oh Alice... oh Alice I am so very sorry I did not want to upset Edward" I apologized I felt horrible what Alice said next cut me deeply "it's a bit late for that, Rose save your remorse for someone who believes it." she snapped at me and hung up. I dropped my phone and still felt Emmett's arms around me he said something softly, but I couldn't process it. Alice's words stung so badly. I was close to Alice, we were so close. We did everything together we were best friends. Then of course Bella came over and we distanced. Alice didn’t care if Bella was with Edward, if she became one of us. And I did... we became distant and now... Alice hated me, my sister... hated me. Now that piece of information processed in my mind I could hear Emmett’s words trying to comfort me "come on babe you know Alice is just worried about Edward you know how close those two are" he stroked my hair and kissed my neck "you know what Emmett... I don't care, who needs them" I spoke trying to sound unaffected. I turned to face Emmett and had on my perfect fake smile and hid the emotions I felt from Emmett "come on babe you can't lie to me I know your hurting we can talk about it if you want" I shook my head "maybe latter" I told him, Emmett didn’t pressure me, he knew I would talk to him when I was ready and at the moment I wasn’t ready to talk about that realization... Edward... I truly believed at the time that I told him that it was in his best interest, I didn’t want to hurt anyone, but of course I did. Why is it... why is it I always end up hurting people I treasure. I kept on asking myself that same question over and over, but I could never figure it out so I decided there was only one thing I could do... only one way to stop Edward, this is my fault I would be the one to correct it. I told Emmett that I would be going hunting he wanted to come too naturally, but I told him no I opened the bedroom window and had one foot stepped out and before the rest of me could go out I felt Emmett's hand on my shoulder I turned to look at Emmett and he smiled "come on babe as if you could lie to me, if your going after Edward then I am going with you" I opened my mouth to tell him no, I mean it's my fault my brother's life was in danger, but I would be damned if I would put the life of my lover... my soul mate in mortal peril "why should you be the only one to have fun and cause a national incident with some boney old kings? Bring it on" I smiled weakly. Emmett was always reckless, bold and very cocky I loved all those attributes of Emmett really I did, but I would often worry about Emmett, he is so careless... it could put him in danger if he wasn’t careful. I thought about it, Emmett was going to go either way there was just no stopping him... at least this way I could keep an eye on him. "fine, you can come but on these conditions. 1) we are going to get Edward and stop him, we are not going on a suicide mission we collect Edward and we get home, 2) we do not fight. No matter what we will not provoke the Volturi. So Emmett you're not going to kick the ass of the bony old kings 3) what I say goes. This is a mission of diplomacy. "I told Emmett in a firm voice so he knew I was serious. My husband nodded his head, we jumped together out of the window of the Denali's house and we left. Emmett asked me about the plan to stop Edward and to tell the truth I did not really think much about the detail I mean all I knew was Edward was about to do something incredibly stupid and I had to stop him. Emmett and I had ran for a while only to be stopped when Jasper called he told us he wanted to join us to go after Edward. I accepted his offer without hesitation and told him to hurry up and gave him our location then hung up on him. There were three reasons I invited Jasper. 1) his ability 2) strength in numbers 3) Jasper is the most skilled fighter in our family if things ago according to plan we maybe able to use Jasper to calm Edward long enough for us to explain the mistake of the lifetime. Jasper arrived and things got ugly, Jasper lied to me. He did not come to help us, he came to stop us! He explained Alice and Bella’s plan to use Bella’s mental defect to sneak up on Edward, the argument between us intensified. Emmett was on my side. "Trust in Alice Rosalie, let her clean up your mess" Jasper spoke to me, I made a fist and to my surprise Emmett ran to Jasper to try and take him down. Jasper however had taken Emmett down with no problem. I ran to Jasper with my fist made and threw a punch only for Jasper to catch it and rotate behind me holding my wrist to have it twisted behind my back. Before Emmett could do anything, Jasper stood on Emmett's chest with one foot. Jasper tightened his grip on my hand, "emotions are a burden in war. It's a tragedy, but it's a fact of life. Emotions will only get in the way Rosalie like when your anger leads you to reckless actions, those reckless actions lead to your death and you may be a royal pain and a pampered little princess oh and narcissistic, but I don't want to lose my little sister. Now little sister if you promise to behave I will let you go." Jasper spoke out. I frowned I'm not narcissistic am I? I looked at Emmett he nodded his head "Rose I think Jasper is right... it's too dangerous and I don’t want to risk losing you" I looked down at Emmett, I felt betrayed. He would do such a thing to me that he would choose Jasper's side over mine, "fine" I spat out, I had no real intention of going along quietly and I doubted Jasper could sense my planned deception from all that rage I felt. As soon as Jasper let go of my hand I turned to him and shoved him over and bolted off I had to stop Edward. I ran as fast as I could and doubted any human could see me I was a blur, but even with all this speed it gave me no advantage when Jasper and Emmett could go at same speeds. Before I knew it I could feel Emmett's muscular arms around me and lifted me off the ground I kicked and struggled, but eventually Jasper walked up, he placed his hands on both side of my cheeks "I know how hard this is Rose, I am worried for Edward too and even more frightened for Alice. Have faith in Alice, believe in her she and Edward will be back I promise" I didn’t care about what Jasper spoke. I had to go fix this mess "Jasper you know Rose, once she has her mind set nothing will reach her." Emmett spoke he stepped back away from Jasper and placed me over his shoulder where we went back to the Denali's. I kicked and yelled wildly on the way back, Emmett chuckled "come on babe how long are you going to throw this temper tantrum" I yelled back at Emmett and he gave that deep chuckle that I loved. I whacked his back try to get free as they headed back to the Denali's with me the unwilling hostage. Emmett spoke "yeah babe I love that back massage" I stopped banging on Emmett's back and frowned. Emmett continued to carry me on his back with Jasper walking behind us. I had my elbow on Emmett's back and I had my chin resting on my hand. "she is pretty quiet now, I think its safe to put her down." Emmett laughed and slapped my ass making a few strands of my hair fall to my face. "trust me Jasper I know my babe, she is as stubborn as a mule once her mind is made up there is no stopping her." Emmett slapped my ass again "keep calling me a mule Emmett I swear you will really see me lose my cool" I spoke and blew the strands of hair away from my face Emmett laughed nervously "sorry babe" he spoke nervously, "so can you put me down now." I asked him frustrated. Emmett was quiet "nah babe I am having to much fun carrying you" Emmett smacked my ass again after he spoke. The strange thing is I believed Emmett, he probably did enjoy carrying me around heaven knows the pervert enjoyed slapping my ass. Emmett continued to carry me until we arrived back at the Denali's. We arrived back in the guest room and Emmett lowered me onto the bed. I could see Jasper walking past the doorway. "Rose why are you like this? I know you want to save Edward, but there is something different about this. What's going on?" I sighed at Emmett, "Emmett my relationship with Edward has been rocky, and since Bella came along things have gotten worse, but now it's my fault Edward is in danger, this is my job to put things right. I don't want Edward to think I hate him or meant for this to happen. This is not Alice's mess to clean its mine... please Emmett let me fix it" I pleaded with him. Emmett folded his arms "Rose... I know you want to fix this, but you being there would only make things worse... I have faith in Alice and Bella... let them handle this, and you can make it up to Edward when they come back" he spoke confidently. I sat on the bed and folded my arms "you have an important task here Rosalie" Emmett spoke. I looked at Emmett with skepticism and said nothing to him. Emmett chuckled "you're beautiful when you pout babe... it's such a turn on" I looked at Emmett and frowned. Curse him he made it so hard for me to stay mad at him. I sighed and gave in "what's this so called important task" I asked him. Emmett looked at me I watched those beautiful golden eyes of his and felt myself get lost in them I barely heard him when he spoke. "Rose you know the story from both angles you need to tell Carlisle and Esme everything about Alice’s vision and the conversation with Alice... it's up to you to tell them everything... you know Esme she will need your help with this, she will worry out of her mind... you want to fix this mess then fix the mess it will cause on Esme and Carlisle." I was in awe Emmett was right I never once thought of them, and how they would cope. All I did was think of my own guilt and how to fix the mistakes I have made... I am two years older than Emmett, in vampire years at least, and yet he is wiser than me... I am such a fool. I smiled "thank you Emmett I'll do just that" I patted the spot next to me and Emmett came and sat next to me. He placed his hands around me for the longest of time we said nothing to each other comfortable in the silence. All was right with us not that there was anything wrong really... I guess I was worried about Edward... while emmett was worried about me, how could I be mad at my husband... my lover for being concerned about me. I am lucky to have such a man in my life. Emmett brushed my hair with his hand and I smiled he asked me if I was alright. I answered "yes Emmett....thank you for caring... you're such a wonderful man" I told him "only because you taught me how to be a man Rosalie" I was shocked at his words and mumbled "sure" with disbelief. Emmett lifted my chin and turned it to look at him where I found myself getting lost in his eyes "Rosalie... you still think you stole my life even after all those years when we wiped the slate clean... you did teach me how to be a man when you brought me into a brand new world and opened my eyes, you were always there guiding me Rosalie and even through all my slip ups you never once judged me... you told me 'Next time will be different, because with each failure you will become stronger and stronger and you know what I have faith in you' you set me on the path to become a true man Rosalie.... you gave me salvation babe" Emmett's words... they touched me deeply. If i could cry, I would have been crying a river... if blood ran in my veins I would have been scarlet red from the blushing. I saw Jasper pacing down the hall again. "thank you Emmett... and you made me a better woman because you are in my life." I told him leaning in to kiss his cheek for a moment "I am going to go keep Jasper company before he wears down the carpet." I nodded and watched Emmett smile that beautiful grin of his and watch him walk out to the hallway. I decided to use that time to write to you and tell you about everything that has happened. My brother and sister are in danger because of me... it is difficult to cope at the moment and I wonder how is it Bella survived the cliff? ~Rosalie Hale Isabella Swan your heart was broken beyond repair, you probably wondered if Edward cared, feeling there was no way out you took your life without a doubt. Good bye to you Isabella Swan your heart was broken and now you are gone. The life you threw away will torment Edward everyday. A fragile human you will always be, and now your nothing but a memory. The love you now have is forever gone and is now replaced with your swan song ~ Rosalie Hale
Topic: The end of my brother's world Date: March 18th 2006 Dearest Diary, So much has happened, the last time I wrote to you I was in Paris with my beloved husband, my best friend and my mate; Emmett. After we left Paris Emmett and I came to visit the Denali's... our cousins. We have been with them ever since, eventually Alice and Jasper came to visit the Denali's too. I was happy to see my sister and brother, it felt like old times, the four of us reunited. Alice and I went out to town with Kate, Irena and Carmen we went clothing shopping much to Emmett and Jasper's horror. I don't think I have told you why they are horrified, see when Alice and I go shopping it's just fun, we find what we like and buy it, but this is much different today it wasn't just Alice and I shopping. Kate, Irena and Carmen were with us, none of us will ever admit it, but when we come together and shop things get competitive it becomes a sport. The men of course flee like we had the plague or something. When it comes to shopping with our cousins things do get competitive, but it's still fun of course because we are a family. My main concern was with my cousin Irena, her chin length silvery blond hair was covering her face, the area around her eyes were dark purple So I knew she wasn't feeding much. Irena eventually told us she had enough and walked out of the store. I looked at my sister and cousins and told them "you know Irena is right, this store has horrible clothing... I think I shall join Irena" I spoke making sure to sound shallow. I joined Irena and saw she was nowhere in site, so I sniffed the air and smelled her scent and followed her, I eventually found her sitting on a bench beside Kate's car, She was acting human to blend in. I should probably explain what I mean by "acting human". Vampires have near limitless stamina, we never get exhausted, we never sleep. with limitless energy we don't need rest, so we could pretty much stand still like statues for near eternity if we wanted to, but if we did that the humans would be sure to notice so we act human. We sit around, we fidget about and blink our eyes, it is imperative we do this so as not to be discovered. I sat beside my cousin and casually asked her what was wrong, she told me it was nothing and I asked if was about the shopping, just to keep up my shallow pretenses of course. Irena looked at me and told me it was Laurent. I did not know Laurent. I had met him a total of two times, the first when he interrupted our baseball game at Forks and the second when he came to our home and sold out his coven mates James and Victoria. When I heard Irena mention his name I immediately saw his olive skin and dark hair, he had a French accent. I listened as Irena told me that she had fallen in love with him, this surprised me. I asked Irena about Laurent I was curious to know what happened to him, If he and Irena were in love then they should be together, but since Emmett and I arrived I have yet to see him. Irena told me that he had to do a friend a favor and he would be back in a few days, but Irena told me the problem with that was on the 4th of March and it was already the 16th and she had heard nothing from him. I knew why Irena was worried, to have to go that long without hearing from Emmett I would have been frantic with worry and fear that something may have happened to that reckless monkey man of mine, so I never let him go anywhere without me if I can help it. I did not know what to say to make my cousin feel better, she was afraid for Laurent safety and I could see it in her eyes. I wondered what I could do to help her. The thing is I am not the maternal type, I am a self centered princess I put my needs above those of everyone else if anyone could help Irena it would have been Esme. My mother she was a selfless woman she put the needs of everyone before her own. I thought about Esme and wondered what she would do, while I thought about it I sat next to Irena and brushed a strand of hair from her face, I wrapped my arms around her to comfort her I told my cousin to have faith in Laurent that he would return before she knew it. Irena was shaking, and I was shocked I let go of her and got off the chair to crouch in front of her, with my finger I gently tilted her head up to meet my gaze and words could not express how much pain I saw in her eyes, her cheeks were puffy, I could see she was upset and if she was human she would be in tears "no he won't he is dead I can feel it." her voice broke out. Irena stood up and I got up from my crouching stance and looked at my poor cousin, "I can feel it..." she spoke I threw my arms around Irena and pulled her in close in a hug. I did not question her feelings how could I? When I met Emmett there was this spark a connection between us, and it was that way for Irena, I wondered would I know if something ever happened to Emmett? "it's all my fault, I should have gone with Laurent I should have never left him to go alone." Irena whimpered out, I pulled Irena from my embrace and told her "Irena be strong and have faith in Laurent." I spoke trying to reassure her. Irena nodded her head "ok" she spoke out, I smiled and petted her hair, Irena seemed to calm down. Alice, Carmen and Kate joined us a few moments later they each had two bags, with the exception of Alice who somehow managed to carry four in each hand "it seemed your sisters lost this round." I told Irena, she let out a laugh with a sob at the end as she tried to smooth the puffiness around her eyes. "Be strong" I whispered to her. Irena nodded and Alice spoke out "Amateurs didn't have a chance against me." I scoffed at Alice "that's right team Cullens win the shopping war of 2006" I joked at her, Alice raised an eyebrow "no no no Rosalie, I won the war your not stealing my thunder." she spoke playfully. Kate opened the boot of the car and they lowered their shopping bags into the boot Irena and I climbed into the back seat of the car sitting together and we could hear Alice and Kate debating over who would drive back to the Denali's place Carmen sat beside me at the back the three of us sat there in silence "Sorry shorty this is my car and I say I'm driving." I looked in the review mirror to see Kate dangling the car key's in front of Alice and I smiled. I nudged Irena who was looking out the window and pointed to the review mirror. She giggled a little watching Kate and Alice continue to debate. I have to Admit Alice and Kate were always like this when they got together, the reason is because of their personalities... they clashed, but not in a bad way. I should try to explain you see the similarities in Kate and Alice are that their both extremely stubborn and will go about and do things their own way regardless of the consequences. The debate between Alice and Kate ended, Kate won this around. It was strange to think Kate came out the winner, I guess I am just so used to seeing my sister get her way all the time. The drive home was quiet entertaining Alice flipped the radio on and one of my favorite songs was on the radio, Independent Women by Destiny's child. Alice and I knew this song well, and we started singing along with the radio and moving around in our seats. we did this a lot the two of us during car trips, Irena, Kate and Carmen looked at us as if we were possessed, Alice and I sang with the song it was a blast. The song ended and I laid back and Irena watched me "what it's our jam" I spoke with a smile. We made it home and I still had the song stuck in my head. I helped Alice out, with the music of the song still pounding about in my mind. We entered the Denali's house to be greeted by Emmett, Eleazar and Jasper. Emmett hugged me and I kissed him passionately, everything was perfect that was until I heard a shocked gasp, I looked at Alice and saw that look in her eyes, she was having a vision and judging from the horror in her eyes it was pretty bad. If I didn't know better I could have sworn Alice went another shade of pale "Don't do it... please" she spoke out in a whisper she was petrified. Emmett let go of me and I went to Alice, Jasper had his arms around Alice protectively "what is it Alice what are you seeing." he asked in his southern accent. Alice did not answer she broke out of Jasper's grip "please don't do it" she spoke out again, I started to feel afraid, and concern for what my sister was seeing. Alice fell to her knees "No she did it" she wailed out her voice was in clear pain. "Alice calm down what happened" I asked her my voice was strained with concern. "it's... Bella... she's dead." I couldn't believe it, Bella... the girl my brother had loved so much he broke his own heart to keep her safe..."How" it was Emmett who had managed to get the question we all wanted to know. "She... she jumped off a cliff and into the sea... She didn't resurface... and as much as I am trying I can't see her" she spoke out her voice was filled with sadness. I knew how much Alice had cared for Bella this must have been difficult for her to deal with. Alice managed to pick herself up "I Have to go... I have to see if there is anything I can do." We all followed Alice as she ran off to the guest room to collect her passport "We made a promise to Edward Alice," Jasper spoke, "well you can keep your promise, I am going... I have to do what I can, I owe Bella that much." she spoke out. I couldn't say anything I just watched my sister in a state of numbness, she was packing a bag while calling the airline to make a booking. After she finished I asked Alice what the plan was. She told me she planned on going to our storage in Seattle and taking Carlisle's car to forks to help Charlie. Kate offered to give Alice a lift to the airport and Alice thanked Kate and before she left Alice swore us to secrecy that we couldn't tell anyone especially Edward. She left with Kate and I stood there in shock. Irena, Carmen and Eleazar left with Kate to take Alice to the airport. Emmett, Jasper and myself was all that was left. We sat together in the living room in silence, I kept thinking about Bella Swan, I was so angry at her stupid decision... she threw her life away, she made Edward's sacrifice pointless. I hid my face in my hands and tried to wrap my head around this to process the death of Bella Swan. I never did like her, but I never wanted her dead. I wanted the opposite I wanted her to live, to live and have children to grow up and have a normal happy life. To have a life full of possibilities and not be frozen like us. "I am to blame for this... Bella's death... her blood is on my hands." I looked up at Jasper, "don't be stupid Jasper you did not make her jump that cliff. She did that of her own free will." I reassured him, "No I set events in motion I am to blame, If I never lost control Edward would have been with Bella now, Edward wouldn't have been alone, suffering in agony because of me and my weakness." He spoke softly. I did not know what to say to that. I stood up and walked to Jasper and began to rub his back. To reassure him, I looked at Emmett and I could see Bella's death had affected him too. Nothing could be said so we sat there in silence the rest of the day and evening went by quietly, It's been a full twenty-four hours since Alice left to return to Forks. I haven't heard anything from her, I guess she is trying to console Charlie if he will let her. What about Edward, doesn’t he have a right to know, to grieve, so he could let go of the pain and move on... Edward needs the truth, I owe him that much I am going to go and call him... I will write back soon to let you know what has happened. ~Rosalie Hale "When Emmett surprises me, he goes all out without a doubt. But this was one surprise I could do without, I know this without a doubt" ~Rosalie
Dearest Diary, Oh my goodness. The insanity that has gone on this very night, I fear my eyes may never be the same again. Right after my last entry I called Alice and we spoke for a while, she told me she had visions of me going shopping today, picking out cocktail dresses. She told me to go for the ankle length floral pattern cocktail dress or the black one. She said I would look elegant in the black one. I asked Alice how she knew that I was going shopping today when I did not make any decisions about going shopping and she answered "because Emmett made the decision when he decided to go buy a tuxedo" I was surprised Alice had given something away. I could hear her make a squeak as she realized she had given something away. I tried to get more information out of her, but she told me she had to go and hung up on me. I had to admit this was a treat, Alice never gives things away, but she slipped up... I wondered what was going on in her mind. I decided to call Esme and we spoke about the things that went on, I told her about the fun we had in Stari Grad, I made sure to leave out all the good bits of the holiday, the part about Emmett and I get our romance on. I asked her about her plans and she told me she planned on doing some cooking for a homeless shelter and spend some time with Carlisle, maybe go for a walk through town. I was impressed with Esme she really is an incredible woman, I am not sure if I told you this diary, but as vampires we can't stand the scent or taste of human food. See to us it smells and taste horrible, it would be the equivalent of eating dirt really. So to see Esme putting up with the horrible smell just so she can feed those who are less fortunate than her makes her an incredible woman. Esme eventually had to go and after I hung up I went out to the balcony of the hotel room and looked at the incredible view. The stars were still out, the night air, oh my gosh it was just so heavenly how can I describe it... I guess it was the atmosphere the beauty and romance in it all, the stars shined bright as a cool breeze blew against me I watched the lights from the shops and seeing the Eiffel Tower. I smiled and placed my hands on the balcony's rails holding it, I knew Emmett was back, I could smell his scent already walking into the hotel room a few moments after he entered the room he opened the glass sliding door and joined me, he stepped out and wrapped his arms around me from behind. He leaned in to kiss my neck and rested his chin on my shoulder, "hey babe" he spoke, I greeted him and asked him where he was, he deflected my question naturally, I decided to let it go. I trusted my husband and I know he would never betray me, he is an honorable man. Emmett asked me on my thoughts and so I told him "I was just thinking about how beautiful the view is. Look at it Emmett, how can you not see how perfect everything is, the way the stars shine in a radiance of cosmic light, the wind bringing in the scent of tranquility, the beauty of the buildings and their lights... the Eiffel Tower nicknamed La dame de fer Emmett, I see all this and know my heart would skip a beat... that's how beautiful this is" Emmett said nothing. I closed my eyes embarrassed, if blood still ran in my veins, instead of venom, my cheeks would have been bright red, or at least a beautiful shade of pink. Emmett finally answered me "that was beautiful Rosalie, you know your a strange woman" he spoke. I raised my eyebrows confused and asked him to to explain what he meant and he told me "I noticed when your around our family you act so shallow, so self absorbed that you only notice yourself and your own perfection... you. But when we are alone you're different" I was surprised Emmett made these assumptions, "how am I different" I asked him. Emmett's grip tightened and I closed my eyes and smiled feeling safe and a smile came on my lips. "your insightful, wherever you see the beauty of life, the words you speak are so vivid it's poetic it's an art form Rosalie, and I believe Alice is wrong about you." I felt warm inside, almost alive and suddenly I realized Alice had said something about me to Emmett "what did she say." Emmett was quiet "well a few months after Alice and Jasper joined our family, I went hunting with them and Alice told me what she thought about us. She said you lived your life in your own head, she also said that your gift was your beauty, how you were the most beautiful of us all, I agree with her you are beautiful, incredible and I can't stop thinking about you, your funny and irresistible, but I believe your beauty is only half.... no not half, a fraction of your gift. I believe that you have the power to see the beauty in this world Rosalie, you see the beauty where others just see a plain scenery and when you explain it, you open people's eyes to just how beautiful it really is.... I just don't understand why you hide yourself from our family." He told me. Hearing Emmett's theory on me I couldn't stop myself from smiling, every time I had my monkey man figured out he always surprises me. I guess what surprised me is the way someone so perfect, so gentle and beautiful like Emmett would say such wonderful and heartfelt things about someone like me. Emmett and I went inside and we laid together in a comfortable silence looking at each other. His hand brushed my hair from my face as he leaned in and kissed me on the lips, I kissed him back "I Love you" I whispered to him, Emmett smiled that beautiful mischievous grin of his "I love you more." the words escaped his lips. I leaned in and kissed him and we laid together until mid-day we walked out of the hotel together the sky was a beautiful dark gray the clouds blocked any traces of the sun, thus preventing our skin from breaking into thousands of sparking lights. Emmett and I walked to the stores enjoying each others company, Emmett told me he wanted me to pick out a cocktail dress that he had plans for tonight. I pretended to be in shock, Alice had actually given this away when she told me that she had a vision of him picking out a tuxedo. I let Emmett go off and went to look at cocktail dresses, Alice told me to go for the black one or the floral ankle length one, I smiled and picked up the red dress. I received a text message just before I took the red dress it was from Alice "I said the black one" I chuckled and and decided to go for the gray one and I received another message from Alice "No the black one, you will look amazing in the black one" I laughed out Alice was so amusing. I decided to take the black one and expected another text message. I tried on the black dress my hair was straight and ran down my back, I received a text message and checked my phone. Alice had sent yet another message which contained "See I told you so, you look amazing now all you need to do is put your hair up, ooo no wait make your hair bouncy you would look stunning... and go jewelery shopping buy some pretty jewelery you would look amazing." I smiled and replied "yes boss" on my mobile after I texted Alice, I removed the black dress and got back into my clothing. I decided that Alice was right, I needed to glamor myself up for my man. After picking out the dress I went out to the other stores to pick out some perfect heels, and maybe I would go jewelery shopping afterward. There was no need to tell Emmett where I was going, as I have previously explained vampire's senses are heightened, Emmett will be able to locate me by my scent and I by his. I went out and found this beautiful necklace, I will of course include a photo of the necklace I bought. As I tried it on in the store, I could not stop myself from smiling. The sales assistant said "I would smile too if I looked that good with the necklace." The silly human misunderstood my joy, it's not that I was smiling because of the beauty. It's because I had Emmett, he makes me feel... he makes me feel human. I love him so much. He makes me so happy, if I could cry tears of joy I would be crying an ocean, if my heart could beat it would only beat an odd number of times because it would always be skipping of joy if I could give him children, I would give him as many as he wanted. I left the jewelery store with the necklace and the dress I had bought to see Emmett waiting for me. He had his own shopping bags "What did you buy" I asked in a playful tone, "wouldn't you like to know." he spoke back and I smiled, I leaned in to kiss Emmett passionately and he kissed me back "well I have a surprise for you babe, we have to be back at the hotel by four pm and ready to leave by eight. So that gives us four hours" I suggested to Emmett we return to the hotel and drop off the shopping and go out exploring. He liked the idea and we quickly returned to the hotel room and dropped off our bags, we returned to town and we found ourselves going to the Eiffel Tower, Emmett bought us tickets for the stairs to the first and second level, we did not rush the climb to the first level we took our time enjoying each others company and the ever increasing view of the surrounding area as we climbed the first floor. As for the amount of steps, I stopped counting after three hundred. Emmett and I made it to the second floor of the Eiffel Tower and we stopped. We looked around and I asked Emmett if we could go to the very top of the tower and he of course said yes. He went off to pay for us and I looked at current view it was so beautiful I wish I had a video camera to tape this.... I wish I thought of getting one. Emmett eventually returned and we took the lift to the final floor. Being in the lift was fun I watched the outside view in awe, the view oh my goodness everyone and everything looked so small, I mean I loved being on the top, Emmett had his arms around me from behind as he rested his chin on my shoulder "I can guess what's on your mind babe" Emmett spoke, I smiled and placed my hands over Emmett's hands enjoying his embrace, I loved the sensation of feeling love and safety. I closed my eyes for a moment "of course you can, you know me better than anyone else" I spoke back softly, as I opened my eyes I felt a kiss on my neck and I smiled. Emmett and I watched the beautiful scenery of Champ de Mars it was so amazing. The lift finally stopped and I looked at it in awe, I loved this I really did. I loved seeing the world from this view, but most of all I loved that Emmett was with me every single step of the way. As we left the tower I told Emmett I wanted to return to the tower at night time before we left Paris, to see the view at nighttime. Emmett told me he would like to see it too. Emmett and I still had a little bit of time so we went for a walk at Champ De Mars it was beautiful from a distance, but from close range it was just well, amazing, the Eiffel Tower really complemented the beauty of Champ De Mars that’s all I can say. Emmett and I stopped in the middle of Champ De Mars and we I looked at the surroundings, Emmett grabbed my hand and held it in his soft, but tight grip and I Looked at him I moved in to hug him and wrap my arms around his muscular body, he was such a big guy with all those muscles, our lips connected for a moment and I pulled back to look at my husband smiling. Emmett placed his hand on my cheek and stroked it softly, I suddenly felt something wet hit my head, I looked up to see it started pouring rain and I smiled enjoying the rain as the two of us got soaked in the rain, "you know what this reminds me of Rose" Emmett asked, I looked to Emmett "yeah... the first time we got married... we left the church and kissed and it started pouring." Emmett chuckled "you remembered that?" he asked me and I nodded my head "how could I forget that, it' was one of the best days in my entire existence and one of my favorite memories." I answered, Emmett leaned in and kissed me passionately, we did not care about getting soaked in the pouring rain. I guess you could say this was probably the most romantic situation we will find ourselves in, we are standing in the middle of Champ De Mars with the Eiffel Tower in the background getting soaked while we kiss Emmett and I pulled back he made a comment about me being wet, I laughed and looked down shy. He pushed my wet bangs back and I looked at him "I love you" he spoke and I told him I felt the same way. We returned to the hotel room exactly at four pm, completely drenched in the rain water. I had four hours to make myself look exactly perfect for my Emmett. I decided to take a shower even though I was already soaking wet, after I finished I combed my hair and used the hairdryer at the same time to dry my hair as I combed it, by the time I was finished with my hair it was dry and bouncy. I got dressed and placed the jewelery around my neck and walked out of the bathroom. Emmett was already dressed, he looked at me and let out a sexy whistle and I smiled "you like" I asked him my voice was softer than normal, almost like I was trying to seduce him, Emmett nodded his head "Oh very much so" he spoke almost enchantedly. Emmett walked to me, he grabbed my hand and lifted it up to his lips and kissed it. "I think it's time we get this surprise ready, come on we only have ten minutes left before our ride gets here." he spoke pulling my hand. I smiled and reached for my handbag on the counter and just managed to get it. Emmett and I made it to the ground floor and we waited indoors I was curious until I saw a long black stretch limo arriving and stopping at the door. I looked at Emmett and saw that mischievous grin of his, I smiled as he guided me to the door of the limo. The driver came and opened the door for us and I climbed in Emmett followed. I was shocked "how could you have organized all this." I asked. He sat opposite of me "Alice helped naturally" He told me, "Ah yes your usual partner in crime.... how can someone so short be so diabolical" I asked him, he chuckled and told me it was her gift. "yeah cause anyone can see the future" I scoffed. We both chuckled, and I asked Emmett where we were going. Emmett pulled out two tickets and handed them to me the tickets read, "Feerie" I spoke surprised. Emmett nodded "yes it's a Cabaret show at the Moulin Rouge" I looked up extremely touched by Emmett's thoughtfulness, "you don't like this sort of things you will be bored out of your mind." I told him, Emmett shrugged "what's a few hours of my eternity if I get to see you smile... it's a sacrifice I will gladly make" I moved across to sit next to Emmett and hugged him "thank you" I spoke. Emmett wrapped an arm around me and kissed my cheek "anything for my Angel" he spoke softly. We arrived at the Moulin Rouge and entered the building, it was air-conditioned very nice and cool and a lot of people were waiting for the show to start. "I have heard many good things about the performing arts that go on here, I can't believe I finally get to see it." I told Emmett "yeah I guess... it's not as awesome as football." I raised my eyes up, Emmett had no appreciation for the performing arts. We watched the show it was interesting, but I did not expect what would happen next. The performers came out topless dancing and singing my jaw dropped in shock and I heard Emmett scoff "the performing arts kick ass" I looked at Emmett and glared at him ice cold. I placed my hands over his eyes "yeah big sacrifice huh buster" I hissed as I lowered my hand from his eyes, Emmett looked at me with a grin on his face "I didn't know. Honest" he whispered I stood up and grabbed Emmett by the ear, lifting him up. He frowned and I let go of his ear and dragged him out "come on Rose this is the performing arts we need to broaden our minds" I knew he was joking around "not funny" I hissed and Emmett chuckled, we walked outside "Emmett you know I am a lady of moral integrity and I will not watch a bunch of harlots parade around half naked... that is not performing arts, that is smut." I spoke back. Emmett looked at me and smiled, he apologized for a ruined evening and I told him it was fine, that I did not care as long as we were together my evenings would always be perfect. Emmett was quiet as we embraced in a hug "I certainly must bring Edward and Jasper here for a bachelor party next time Jasper gets married" He joked, "you must certainly not" I spoke back with a smile. Emmett faked a groan and I smiled. We returned to the limo and went back to the motel, after arriving to our room, Emmett removed his tux jacket and started to pull off that black bow-tie and I stopped him "I have a surprise of my own Mr. Cullen... so stay in that monkey suit just a little longer monkey man." I asked him. Emmett looked at me surprised and I went to my bag and pulled out my iPod, pulling out the headphones I turned the volume all the way up, and selected one of my favorite songs in my iPod Beauty and the Beast sung by Celine Dion and Peabo Bryson. I pressed play, and the music began to play quite loudly. Another perk of having vampire senses, every thing is much much better. I walked to Emmett and placed out my hand, he smiled "Oh I see" he spoke surprised, with that beautiful smile on his face. Emmett and I danced slowly together while the music played he raised my hand and I spun under, he pulled me in close and had one hand wrapped around my waist and another on my upper back and I did the same. We danced together slowly in bliss until the song ended and Emmett let go. I helped him out of that monkey suit and left him to get dressed on his own. While he is doing that at this very moment I am outside at the balcony writing in you and telling you of the "Surprise" Emmett threw my way this evening and now that I am done, I think I may watch the beautiful scenery for a little while longer before I go back inside to my lovely monkey man. ~Rosalie Hale The Song Emmett and Rosalie Danced To Topic: Enduring the thirst & denying the primal forces within, my Emmett is so powerful
Date: January 10th, 2006 Dearest Diary So Emmett and I stood in the water watching the night sky, this magical moment of ours felt like forever, we enjoyed the silence, our unspoken bond made everything so much easier we didn't need words to express our thoughts and emotions spending all these decades together we are totally in sync with one another. Emmett told me our next step is Bratislava the capital of Slovakia, then we are going to Paris the Capital of France, I asked Emmett if we could skip Bratislava for now and go to France, I wanted to see the new fashion trends in France and maybe buy some dresses for Alice and Esme. Emmett of course was happy to skip Bratislava he just wanted me happy. We eventually got out of the water and sat on the beach Emmett sat on the towel while I sat on his lap, we sat there together watching the night sky we had until midnight to get to the docks, it would be when the next boat goes to the main lands so we just waited to dry off, Emmett and I spoke a little about Edward, he confided in me telling me he was worried about our big brother, I could understand where Emmett was coming from, but still I found it odd to consider Edward the big brother, it's true he is the oldest out of Emmett and I, but the way he was... the way he acted Edward tends to act like a prude, he is conservative and usually in a depressive funk that was until Bella came along, still even though he is depressive and conservative he reminds me of a child in some ways.... a very grumpy child. Emmett and I were eventually dried off and we got changed... well I got changed, Emmett actually put some clothing on he looked so handsome, he wore black jeans a white T-shirt and a nice black coat. I wore a long white elegant dress that went down to the ground. I also tied my hair back into a pony tail, Emmett removed his coat and placed it over me, of course he knew I wasn't cold, but still the gesture was not empty. I thanked Emmett and leaned in towards him we kissed for a moment passionately. Emmett and I left in the car and we went to the docks where we waited together in the car for the boat, we listened to the radio for a bit and I wanted to get closer to my monkey man. I climbed into his lap careful not to ruin my dress and sat there on top of his lap, Emmett had this cheeky grin on his face and I knew what was on his mind, I raised an eyebrow at him curious to see how he would react and Emmett pulled the rubber band from my hair and put it down, my long blond hair fell down to my shoulders and down my back and I flicked my hair back just a little and leaned in to kiss Emmett, we were making out rather intensely for like ten minutes when Emmett wanted to go further, I told him that I wasn't in the mood and like the perfect gentleman that he was he respected my decision. Emmett and I stopped our make out session and I asked Emmett if we could maybe have a house built just outside of Stari Grad, maybe near the beach we were at. Emmett told me he would think about it, I don't think he likes Stari Grad much it is a little small in population size. That and our skills in the Croation language were poor. Our boat finally arrived and after I climbed off Emmett's lap he drove the car onto the boat once the car was parked we climbed out and locked the car. There weren’t many people on at this time which was not surprising considering that it was midnight. Emmett walked to the front of the ship and leaned on the rails while I was checking the schedule I was curious, when I found everything out I went to Emmett and saw him at the front of the ship leaning on the rails staring at the darkness of the night. I asked him what he was looking at he turned to me and shushed me he reached out his hand for me to take it and so I did with a tug he pulled me in to him and I crashed against his chest. Emmett guided me to the very front of the ship and told me to close my eyes, I did as I was told curious Emmett guided my feet onto the railing and told me to hold onto the railing "You're not doing what I think you're doing are you?" I asked him suddenly remembering why this was all so familiar. Emmett did not answer me I felt him from behind his body against mine he touched my arms and guided them out. His arms were wrapped around my stomach I could feel the wind blow against us. "Alright babe open you're eyes." I did as I was told and felt his chin rest on my shoulder "come on babe say it" he spoke with a grin, "I don't wanna" I refused in a childish tone Emmett frowned "come on babe don't ruin the moment." I rolled my eyes up "you know how corny this is... seriously, ugh alright you win... you're such a girl" I spoke at Emmett, Emmett gave a low growl I found it really erotic, "I’m flying Emmett I’m flying" I spoke in a fake enthusiastic tone and Emmett chuckled "you're acting skills suck babe." I leaned my head to the side and Emmett kissed me passionately his arms still wrapped around my stomach I had one arm on the back of his neck caressing it as we kissed. The wind still blowing against us. Emmett eventually let me down and I smiled. I held his hand and tried to walk away from the railings Emmett was reluctant and I knew he was not done, I let go of his hand "alright Emmett get it out of your system" I told him, Emmett went to the railings and climbed onto the railing he placed his arms stretched out and yelled "WOOOOO I AM THE KING OF THE WORLD WOOOOO" I hit my head with the palm of my hand on my forehead and shook my head in disbelief. Emmett was finally done being a maniac and I grabbed his hand "since we are reenacting the Titanic I think there is a scene I want to recreate." I let go of Emmett's hand and started to run off towards the car my dress dragging after me I looked back and smiled with Emmett following I could see in his face he had figured out which part I wanted to recreate. Emmett eventually caught up to me and we were together in the car and we became very intimate together. After we finished we shuffled around trying to get dressed in the rental car. I told Emmett to next time take a mini van and he laughed, after we got dressed we waited till we reach the main lands and Emmett drove us to the place where we rented the car and caught a taxi to the airport needless to say we made our flight. Emmett had some problems on the flight, he found a scent that was appealing to him, my poor Emmett suffered so much, he was clenching onto the sides of the chair, I did my best to soothe him and comfort him, the trip was long and difficult, but I am proud to say my Emmett resisted temptation I am so proud of him you will never meet a man with such will power and strength I can promise you that. We arrived at our hotel, and placed our luggage in our room Emmett was in bad shape I could see it, the scent of humanity was all around us. Emmett was shaking his eyes were pitch black and I held his hands and leaned in to kiss him on the lips "shhh Emmett look at me... concentrate on me, let me become you're world forget about everything around you" I told him he was shaking I knew why, there was a human right outside our hotel door. He bolted towards the door and I moved with speed and grace gliding on the ground to stand in front of the door with my arms open wide blocking his path. Emmett looked at me furiously his fist trembling, was I afraid he might assault me... no, but still I did not like seeing him like this. No human being will ever understand what it's like for us, the burn we feel for blood when thirsty it's like a human addicted to narcotics and going into withdrawals. We become down right unpleasant and a serious threat not just to others, but ourselves too when we are thirsty we loose the capacity to think clearly, we become animalistic and savage we tap into a deep darkness within us and we unleash it into a deadly and primal force of nature. I looked at him with pleading eyes "Please Emmett... Please I know you can do this Em concentrate, I know you're throat burns, but you're stronger than the thirst don't let it define who you are... I promise I will help you keep our oath to never drink human blood again, but I can't do this on my own.... I need your help" I told him in a low hiss my words were too low for humans to be able to hear us, I watched as Emmett struggled with the urges, either way I would not let him do this to himself, I will do everything within my power to stop him doing something that he would spend a lifetime regretting. I was thankful as Emmett's fist stopped trembling and I placed my hands over his giant fist holding them "it's ok I am here for you" I spoke to him comforting him. Emmett rested his head on my shoulder and I petted the back of his head comforting him, he was hurting bad. Emmett calmed himself down and we waited till midnight, there would be no humans with the exception of those who worked at the motel. "Emmett, if you have trouble squeeze my hand as hard as you can, alright." I told him, Emmett nodded his head and I grabbed a backpack with a change of clothing and a few other things, I wanted to be prepared just in case. Emmett and I left the motel and walked towards the edge of town, with no one around we bolted out of the town and went hunting, I watched Emmett as he snapped and tapped into that primal force of darkness... Edward liked to call this our killer instincts, I disagreed with Edward see instinct is an inborn pattern of behavior we weren’t born with the instinct to loose humanity and become savage killing machines, don't get me wrong as a human we were born with instincts to kill to survive, but there is a great difference... humans retain the capability to show restraint, to show mercy they remain endowed with feeling and unstructured consciousness, we don’t we unleash that inner monster and once the monster is out of the cage it refuses to return to it's cage until it is appeased with an ultimate sacrifice... life, if you think about it vampire's don't really feed on blood... we feed on life, blood is life it is everything to most of my people, but not my family as you well know by now. Emmett ran and he caught himself his meal and I joined him we fed together, I finished before him and watched as Emmett finished his meal we disposed of the leftover of our meals and I could see Emmett's shirt covered in blood, he really must have been thirsty to be so careless. Something we pick up in our immortality is perfection, our hunting skills become so advance we could drain our prey dry and not leave a single drop on us, we drink it all, but that requires practice Emmett was a messy his lower face covered in animal blood. He had this grin on his face it made me smile, I walked to Emmett and stripped off his clothing "whoa babe we gonna do it right out in the open? I like you're style." I Ignored Emmett grabbing the fabric and dug a hole to burry the clothing after kicking the dirt back to the hole Emmett looked confuse "no monkey man we can't have you going in town covered in blood" Emmett chuckled “So I get to go in town and show the French women what a Tennessee man is all about... nice plan babe." I Looked at Emmett he is an utter pervert and as arrogant as they come, but I loved that about him I found it to be a turn on and an adorable trait "First of all Mr. Cullen you're underwear is still in tact. So you won't be going to town completely naked." I told him, Emmett removed his underwear and threw it behind him. I hit my head with the palm of my head in disbelief and heard him chuckle. After taking in a deep breath I exhaled as I bent over to my backpack and pulled out a change of clothing for Emmett underwear included, like I have said a thousand times in my immortal life, I can read Emmett Cullen like a book... mostly when he is not surprising me. Emmett scowled at me and I had this smug grin on my face "please as if I am going to let a bunch of French women get a look at my man." I spoke humoring him, Emmett grinned it was cheeky. I also leaned down to pull out a packet of travel tissues and opened the packet up I pulled out a tissue and licked it, I walked close to Emmett "Stay still" I told him Emmett was still scowling and I placed my hand on his shoulder to keep him still and used the tissue in my other hand to wipe away the blood from his face Emmett resisted just being childish I found his behavior adorable. He continued to squirm as I licked the tissue again and carefully went over his face, the reason why I did this first instead of having him get dressed simply because I did not want him to get blood on the clothing I had to get him cleaned up first. "You know Rose, you reminded me a lot of Esme today” I asked Emmett what he meant, and he told me the way I was cleaning him off now and the way I took care of him in his time of need it was something Esme would do. I smiled "of course Esme would do that, she is the most loving and compassionate woman I have ever met, maybe it was just a coincidence" I told him, Emmett shook his head. I made sure Emmett was clean and gave him his clothing to try on. When Emmett was dressed he looked like a god dressed in jeans and a skin tight shirt with Emmett dressed I threw the tissue away and closed my bag. Emmett and I returned to town running until we reached the outskirts from there we walked Emmett was acting a little strange. He asked me if I would be ok to return back to the hotel on my own I told him I would be fine, I asked Emmett what he was planning, but as usual he told me it was a surprise. I explored the streets browsing the window displays, lots of nice things I wanted to buy not just for myself, but for Esme and Alice. I made it back to the hotel and thought I would catch you up on everything that happened. ~Rosalie Hale Topic: A wonderful Start to our Holiday
Date: January 8th, 2006 Dearest Diary It has been an amazing week I finally learned where we were going, I knew that it was in Europe, but Emmett surprised me he chucked all our plans out the window, I am now in Stari Grad which means "old town" in Croata, Emmett of course is full of surprises, he doesn't speak Croatian which was wonderful because neither did I. After arriving at our hotel I opened my suitcase to see an English to Croatian phrase book. This one was green with yellow text on the cover, after browsing the book I hugged it and looked up at the ceiling and thanked Alice in my head, I decided to call my sister and thank her quickly while Emmett was off exchanging money. We spoke on the phone for a while, Alice confided that she was worried about Bella and is finding it difficult to keep her promise to Edward. I told Alice to keep herself busy and forget about the human, Alice was quiet for a moment and I knew she was giving one of those scowling glances at me. I may not be able to see it, but I knew my sister well, I suggested that she spoke to Esme, and Alice told me she already did that and I suggested that she try taking Jasper and going on an exotic holiday. Alice actually told me that was a good idea. She thanked me and hung up. I shook my head and opened the book, flipping through it and I decided to try it out while I waited for Emmett "dobro jutro moje ime je Rosalie" which translated to 'Good morning my name is Rosalie.' I was excited to try out speaking some Croatian, but decided to keep reading it, I found something else "Volim te" which translated to "Love you" Emmett returned and I looked at him in his blue jeans and white T shirt with a beanie on his head he looked so appealing. I was already to go in a long blue dress, I wore black sunglasses and a MARAMA which is croatian for "Wrap" it's also known as a Kerchief by its English name. It’s a piece of cloth used to cover the head basically. So basically the Marama is worn by women who are married, single women don't usually wear it. Emmett and I left together and took a tour around Stari Grad it was very educational and I also took photos of the sights. So Stari Grad has the population of 2,817 people, It lies on the north side of the Island Hvar, Stari Grad was not always known by this name. The name was believed to come from the previous inhabitants of the area in the Roman times. The town became known as Faria which was turned into Hvar by the Slav population. One interesting Culture point about Stari Grad is Tvradalj Castle, I found it inspiring, it's simply amazing and inspiring to see, Tvradalj was the summer residence of Petar Hektorovic the Croatian poet that was born during 1487 and died in 1572 at the age of 82, during the 16th century the island of Hvar came under attack from Ottoman Turks. Tvradalj is in a near excellent state of preservation. The courtyard contains a fresh water fish pool that is enclosed. one of the things I loved about this sight was the inscriptions that were set into the walls of the mansion that are in Latin & Croation it looks pretty old, saying " PETRVS HECTOREVS MARINI FILIVS, PROPRIO SVMPTV ET INDVSTRIA, AD SVVM ET AMICOR, VSVM CONSTRVXIT" So the translation says Petar Hektorović, son of Marin, built this at his own expense and by his own efforts, for his own and his friends' us" I think Petar must have been an amazing man he used his home and fortified it so it could act as a shelter for the citizens. Below I have included pictures too. I'll try and write in captions if there is enough space. Emmett and I returned to the hotel room, our things were packed and we stuffed our things into the rental car we left our one bag that was unpacked inside where some swimmers for us, after sunset we drove out of town and took a dip at the beach, I wore a 2 piece bathing suit while Emmett decided to go full commando and just dived into the water. I rolled my eyes up and I just knew he would do something like that. Emmett jumped from the sand and into the water doing a Cannon ball and I ran in after him. Emmett and I swam together under the full moon. There were no stars out tonight only the darkness of the night time clouds. We floated together the entire time locked in each others embrace. "Thank you for bringing me here Emmett. I am having a wonderful time." I told him softly, Emmett leaned in and kissed my neck "good...I am glad you're having a wonderful time Rose" he spoke softly whispering into my ear. I told Emmett I was lucky to have such a wonderful husband, to have a man so loving and perfect in everyway imaginable I would have said I was blessed...if I didn't know any better, If we met as humans my life would have been perfect, I would have lived and died a happy woman to have my Emmett beside me. I leaned in to kiss Emmett on the lips as his huge arms tightened around me. Emmett and I looked up at the night sky while we were in each others embrace the water was up to Emmett’s waistline and we just looked at the sky and the beautiful full moon, it was so big, the wind blew against us I felt refreshed by the night breeze, but not cold, vampires don't feel cold or hot. This was a perfect romantic moment we have had so many in the past, Emmett has given me a lifetime of love and memories to treasure. I am glad I asked Carlisle to turn him, it was one of my most selfish acts I have asked for in my entire existence, but still it was worth it I am not alone anymore, that spark I felt so long ago when I saw Emmett that spark...that connection turned into a lifetime of love, I want to journey with Emmett to the very edge of the world, to be with him for eternity. Emmett is my salvation. I need to start thinking of some ways to surprise him for a change. ~ Rosalie Hale this is Stari Grad, Emmett & I actually took this on our last day in town. This was taken at the Tvradlj Castle Topic: today was a nice day to start off the year
Date: January 1st, 2006 Dearest Diary Today is the first of a new year, it's time to put the events of last year behind me and start afresh. Emmett and I spent new years day with Esme, Carlisle Alice and Jasper we spent the day together walking around town and bonding as a family, I really enjoyed myself spending time with Emmett in particular. We sat alone watching the view of the city just the two of us I was lost in Emmett as I sat on his lap and my back rested on his chest. Emmett's chin rested on my shoulder as he wrapped his hands around my stomach area. Emmett soft and warm touch it was heavenly he kissed my neck "it's a beautiful day huh babe" he said to me. I nodded my head slightly "yes...yes it is" I answered him, Emmett's soft and gentle hands rubbed my stomach "what's wrong you seem distracted" Emmett asked me, The truth was I did not know what was wrong...maybe it was nothing, I smiled and breathed in his magnificent scent. "Nothing is wrong my love, all is well because I have you here to hold me, to tie me to this world to this plane of existance." Emmett chuckled "that's such a girlish answer babe." Emmett's laugh, it's what I imagine to be a mixture of an angel's laugh and that of a child, they were both so innocent, so pure and glorious. Emmett and I watched the city a little longer,before we got up and walked together hand and hand back towards Esme's place, the walk would be longer if we went at normal human pace, but thats what we decided to do. Emmett and I we don't care about time, we don't care if we are late...all we care about is being with each other. While I held my husband's hand and walked with him back to Esme's, I thought about Emmett and the years together, I think about it a lot..he is my salvation, he makes me smile, he brightens up my life, you will never know how much I love him how much I need him. "I am lucky to be in love with my best friend" I told him. Emmett's response was in a split second "what, you're in love with Alice...I don't think Jasper is going to be happy." I scowled and used my free hand to punch Emmett's shoulder he chuckled "I love it when you make that face, it's intimidating and hot" he said, I didn't say anything for for a while, we were now walking on the side of the road, until we cut into the forest taking a detour. "I was talking about you" I grumbled, Emmett leaned in close to kiss my cheek and I could not help, but smile "no fair...you're too adorable to stay mad at" I grumbled to him. Emmett laughed again He threw me over his shoulders and gave me a piggy back ride "it's all a part of my charm babe, you know you can't resist me." he said as I rested my chin on his shoulder "one of these days I will Em", Emmett laughed out now and retorted "Maybe, but it won't be today will it?" I nodded "right as usual monkey man." I said back and kissed his neck. Emmett spun around "so, I'm a monkey huh, well then you better hold on my little chimp" Emmett ran towards a tree and jumped up onto the branches, I had to admit I found it a rush. Emmett carried me while he jumped from tree branch to tree branch, he found the biggest tree and sank his nails into it as he climbed to the top he walked onto the branch and slowly put me down, I could see the scenery it was amazing. For one split second I pitied humanity, they would never be able to see the world and it's beauties like we could. Sure they might be able to see it from a plane or chopper, but they would never see it with their weak human eyes. "It's a beautiful view" I told him quietly, Emmett shrugged "It's alright I guess." I moved in closer to Emmett being careful not to snap the branch we were standing on, Emmett of course doesn't know the meaning of the word restraint. Emmett walked casually and wrapped his arms around my stomach area and kissed me. I enjoyed the kiss, I always did, but something had me distracted it was the sound of wood snapping. the branch suddenly gave way, I expected Emmett to let go of me, but he didn't he held me..had me wrapped tight around his arms He was under me as we fell, he refused to let go I looked at his face his eyes were full of joy his smile, magnificent and glorious, I leaned in to kiss him on the lips ignoring the tree branches snap as Emmett crashed into it, it was so like Emmett to protect me, even though the tree branches or the fall wouldn't hurt me at all he still protected me, he still kept me safe. Emmett landed on the ground with a thud and I was on top of him I pulled back "My Emmett, what a gentleman you are....where's the real Emmett" I teased, Emmett chuckled "oh you know where he is and he is waiting for you" Emmett said, he leaned in and whispered something extremely dirty I giggled and climbed off Emmett and stood up. "Come on we need to go back to Esme's. Our flight is tonight and I want to spend time with Esme and Carlisle." Emmett groaned and I picked up my monkey man "Save it for the holiday honey" I tossed Emmett onto my back and heard him chuckle "Emmett, I know what you're going to say and don't even think about it." Emmett laughed harder I could feel his laughter vibrating from his chest. It felt really nice, I carried Emmett through the forest and eventually lowered him when we made it back to Esme's. Emmett and I played football with the family, it was the boys vs the girls naturally. The game was rather fun, Alice kept on seeing everything that the boys planned out, and we just laughed, they kept failing, until Esme accidently dropped the ball, Emmett was crazy enough to say something sexist "this is a man's sport, no way women can beat us at this." I smiled and had a hand on my hip "reallY" I challenged his authority and ran directly into Emmett tackling him hard into the ground. I was on top of Emmett and I gave him a smug grin satisfied to show him women could play just as hard as men "I never knew you liked it on top babe" I looked at Emmett and leaned in to kiss his forehead. I got up off of emmett and picked him up throwing him over my shoulder and spun him around. I already knew what Emmett was going to do, unlike Edward I did not need the ability to read minds I have been with Emmett for so long that I know his every move. "Don't even think about it" I knew what he was going to do he laughed out and a few moments latter he slapped my butt and threw him off my shoulder hearing him laugh. I rolled my eyes and looked before I could turn to face him Emmett was already behind me hugging me around my stomach area. He lifted me off the ground and spun me around and I laughed "Emmett, we are meant to be playing football" Emmett laughed "well I guess im just fraternising with the enemy huh." I smiled well it was needless to say that Emmett and I did not rejoin everyone in the game, we instead went to the side lines and sat together just talking. Emmett and I played twenty questions I was trying to find out more about where we were going first on our trip. Needless to say I failed, I couldn't guess it, Emmett gave me one of his super tight hugs to make me feel better and it worked, I felt warm and safe in Emmett's arms. I never felt this way when I was with Royce, when I was with Royce I felt more like a possession, that all I was to him, but Emmett I am much much more, and I love that, I grabbed Emmett's hand and placed it over my heart. I wanted to say something, but everyone was within hearing distance so I said nothing. Emmett and I watched as the football game finished the result, well let's just say girl power is something not to be underestimated. It was 4 pm by the time we finished outdoor activities and we all went inside, we only had three hours before our flight, I could see Esme was a little upset, I knew why...she would miss us, just as much as I would miss her and everyone else very much too. Well everything is packed, so I think it's time I pack you up into my suitcase and go spend some more time with Esme and Carlisle. ~Rosalie Topic: Esme she is my real mother
Date: December 26th, 2005 Dearest Diary How can I describe yesterday's Christmas? It was a pleasant Christmas, but hollow....incomplete the reason behind that is because my brother Edward did not make it, everyone was constantly thinking about him and we could not stop ourselves from hoping that he would surprise us and walk in the door, but we knew it would not happen, Alice had no visions of Edward changing his mind from his mindless hunting of Victoria. I should tell you what I was given for Christmas "Carlisle and Esme gave me a new jewelery box to hold my jewelery. The box was beautiful, it was black and when I opened it up there was a small mirror inside with a few drawers to hold my rings in. I closed the box and ran to hug my parents. My gift from Alice and Jasper was nice too, they bought me a beautiful diamond necklace and bracelet . I thanked them, loving the gift and trying it on in an instant, my gift from Emmett was by far my favorite he gave me a new gold ring, carved on the outside of the ring, was a heart with RH+EC, in the insides of the ring there was an inscription written "the best is yet to come." I jumped up and hugged Emmett and he hugged me back, his hands moved down my back and to my ass and I pulled his hands back up and kissed him on the lips passionately for a moment and then pulled back. I grabbed my presents I had bought Emmett and handed them to him, he opened the first one up to see the erotic clothing and baby oil, "damn you're gonna look hot in this Rose and the baby oil" I smiled, Emmett had yet to realise the baby oil was for him, I climbed onto his lap and leaned in to whisper in his ear "actually, Emmett, the baby oil is for you and I am going to rub it all over you're body inch by inch....Everywhere." my voice was soft like silk and alluring, I did this on purpose just to tease him. I pulled back from my monkey man to see the expressioon on his face, he looked excited "Uh excuse us, Rose and I are going to test out her Christmas present" Emmett said. I smiled before I could remind him about the other present, Alice was quick to chime in "Save it for the honeymoon, we still need the house to be intact in order to live here." I smiled sheepishly and saw Esme mouth "thank you" to Alice and noticed Emmett seemed disappointed. what can I say about my family their not as flamboyant as Emmett and I. My poor Emmett groaned and settled with french kissing instead, he pulled me in closerand I leaned into him kissing him back, our tongues were massaging against each others, neither of us cared that our family were watching, I could hear Alice make an "Ew" sound and I kissed Emmett with more passion just to spite her and she knew it. Alice threatened to get a hose to cool us off, and we stopped, I knew my sister, she would do that without hesitation. After we all opened our presents we went outside to build a snowman family, it is rather childish, but fun I could see Esme was still overjoyed about the new land she & Carlisle had just gained from Emmett and I for Christmas. We worked on building a snow man family and as I bent down to get more snow I felt something wet hit me on the ass, I stood up and looked around and saw Emmett whistling, I knew it was him, it had to be, he only whistled when he was trying to act innocent. I Picked up the upper torso of the snow man and I threw it at my him, Emmett saw the snowman, his mouth opened in a shocked expression and ducked at the last moment. I watched as the snow man's torso continued on and hit Alice from behind "bet you didn't see that coming" Emmett joked as he turned to face Alice. My sister turned to look at us, she blinked a few times completely soaked in cold icy water, she couldnt feel the cold water of course, but she was still soaked. Jasper and Carlisle laughed with Emmett while Esme and I smiled seeing Alice's confused expression on her face it was priceless. Alice picked up her snowman's head and threw it at me, I ducked at the last moment and turned while I crouched to see half of the snowmans head hit Esme. Alice tried to supress a giggle but she burst out into a fit of laughter. Esme pulled off her snowman's head "This means snow FIGHT" she yelled and threw the head of her snow man at me, I dived out of the way and the snow man hit Emmett. I landed sliding on the icy ground on my stomach and got up slowly, we had a great time it was a shame Edward was not here, I would have thrown one right at the back of his head. After our snowball fight we went inside and got changed, we spent the rest of the day together watching festive movies involving Christmas morals and lessons. Esme of course still treated us all like her children so it was her idea. The day and night passed fast and here we were with boxing day. I waited for evening and when it came I decided to do something I never thought I would do again. I decided to go to the cemetary, Emmett asked me if he wanted me to come with him and I told him that I would be fine. I was on my way to my rental car when Esme stopped me, she asked me if she could come with me and I did not have the heart to turn her down. So I told her sure, it would take us 90 miles to get from Ithica to Rochester, the entire drive was quiet between Esme and I. I can't imagine why she chose to tag along with me I was sure she knew I would not exactly be good company and she definetly knew we weren't going shopping, but still she chose to come along. We arrived at Rochester and I stopped to look for a florist, I was amazed to find one open on Christmas day. I bought two boquets of roses and returned to the car, our next stop was the cemetary, I took my time walking to my parents grave, Esme was at my side the entire time, while I tried to discover why exactly I was here. We made it to my parents grave and I was shocked to see graffiti on their graves, "Damn no good street punks." a hiss escaped my red lips. I bent down to give my parents the bouqet of roses and made a fist out of anger. I stood up and introduced Esme to my parents. "you met my parents a few times, right Esme." I asked her, she stepped up beside me now and nodded her head "yes, I remember them at your engagement party to Royce." She said. I remained quiet "you didn't get to meet my real parents, you only met their sociable side, the side they showed to the public....My father, he was a hard working man. He was quiet and placed his family needs ahead of his own, he always made sure I had beautiful clothing of the latest trends so I could woo in HIM!" I spat out the last part with hatred. I felt Esme wrap her arms around me, her head leaning on my shoulder as she tried to comfort me, I continued on "my Mother, she was an odd sort by today's standards, she gave me lessons on how to be a lady...she gave me lessons how to satisfy a man, so he would remain loyal to me...she taught me many things Esme, but like me she was extremely shallow...they both used me Esme, they used me to elevate their social standards in society, So he....Royce would provide for my brothers and them...I often wonder if I was anything more than a tool for them," I said to her and smiled for a moment. My hand moved to Esme's hand "mother...father you never had the chance to meet the real Esme...So this is Esme Cullen she has been taking care of me since I...well since my disappearance, She is more of a mother...of a role model to me than either of you ever were. I wish that I never became what I am, but I am grateful to have her in my life." I said my voice became a little high in pitch, Esme stepped in front of me and she hugged me tight "it's ok Rosalie, let it all out." I smiled "no I am fine, you know Esme, the last time I was standing in this spot, was at the night of my fathers burial, fiifty four years ago...I stood at this exact same spot and I blamed myself for how their lives turned out, I thought I failed them, back then I was too consumed by grief, but now time has passed, I have mourned the death of my parents and brothers and have seen things a lot clearer, I did not fail my parents...they were the ones who failed, they failed my brothers and I, it wasn't my job to provide for them, to ensure their future....it was their job to do that for me, it was their job to love me and support me without personal gain...seeing how you guided all of us and treated us as your own... I was finally able to realize that." I looked at Esme, she looked like she was lost for words, I hugged her and thanked her for coming with me, she told me she did not mind at all along with some other things. I had one last thing I had to do before I went back with Esme, I went to Royces' grave, Esme followed me and I looked at Royce's tombstone it seemed someone replaced it, the words were faded out and I swung my foot and kicked the tombstone. Royces' tombstone shattered and I smiled "Bastard, you got off too lightly." I spat out, Esme grabbed my hand and I looked at her and had a sad smiled "lets go." she said and we left, Esme drove us home, She seemed to be happy, and I felt the same way. I Realized that maybe I am capable of change, that I am growing emotionally. It's just going to take time, but hey whats time to a vampire. On the drive home Esme suggested I research my family like Alice, to see, learn about my brother's children and grandchildren, I told her it was best to leave my old family in the past where it belonged and focus on my real family. She was silent again and I wondered what thoughts went on in that head of hers. We returned home and Emmett bombarded me with a hug and I hugged him tight, I watched Esme run off to Carlisle and went to the guest room with Emmett, I caressed Emmett's cheek with my hand and got lost in our private world, nothing else around us mattered when I am with Emmett, my heart feels like it could start beating again. I thought about all the memories and experiences I had with Emmett, he is my prince charming. My pillar of strength and my soul mate. I have to go now, Emmett and I have to get packing, we leave on the first for our honeymoon. Emmett won't tell me which location we are going to first, typical of him....I may try and call Edward too. ~Rosalie Hale Topic: Spending the christmas with family, I wish edward was here.
Date: December 25th, 2005 Dearest Diary Emmett and I are visiting Esme & Carlisle, it's Christmas day and we are all together, well almost all of us Edward called the other day and informed us he was unable to attend Christmas, he wished us a happy holiday, but I could easily tell his heart wasn't in it. I was sad that he could not come and join us today. The last few months Edward has been hunting Victoria, trying to find her and kill her so Bella would be safe, he has had no luck it looks like tracking is not one of his strong points. Emmett and I arrived yesterday morning at Ithaca, New York city, we plan to stay until the day after new years. I was glad to see Jasper, I missed my brother & Emmett missed Jasper too. Jasper went to show Emmett around Cornell University, I told Emmett to have fun and the two left. It was just Alice, Esme, Carlisle and I the four of us went and did some last minute Christmas shopping Carlisle was our driver. We arrived at the stores and split up, Esme and I went one way while Carlisle and Alice went another way. While Esme and I were shopping we began to speak about what our plans were, I told Esme that Emmett and I were going on a honeymoon across Europe. It was fun shopping with Esme, I enjoyed it greatly and together we picked out some nice CD's for Alice, there was no point in trying to surprise Alice, she cheats. Esme confided in me, "I know Edward said he couldn't make it, but I still can't help, but hope that he will come for Christmas." I listened to Esme and knew she was right, but it was not because he couldn't make it, it was because he did not want to come and join us, he is too lost in his own sorrow to be around his family. Edward should be with us letting us help him with his suffering, but he refuses to let us help him. I bought everyone a lot of nice things, but these weren't their real gifts. I bought Carlisle & Esme's, I made sure they would be a surprise by asking Alice not to spoil it, again I say there is no way to surprise Alice she knew what I bought her. I felt confident that my lovely parents would enjoy their presents. Emmett and I had bought several houses and blocks of land near our home for Carlisle & Esme, so they could live near us or use it for a Holiday home to visit us. I knew they would like it. I bought Alice and Jasper plane tickets they can go visit the Denali's whenever they want. I did not want anything for Christmas....well in all honesty I had one Christmas wish and it was the same as Esme's, I wanted Edward to join us. We finished Christmas shopping and returned home to see Emmett & Jasper watching the sports channel, Emmett was betting on the football game and I started to wonder if my Husband and brother had gambling problems, Alice of course did not mind as long as Jasper was happy. I felt the same way for Emmett as long as he was happy I was happy I watched Alice for a while and she looked sad, "what's wrong" I asked her. Alice answered "I had a vision of Bella." I looked at Alice seriously "Edward asked you not to look into her future Alice you should respect his wishes." I reminded my sister, Esme came to us while Jasper & Emmett looked on from the couch "I can't help it I am in tune with Bella. It's one thing to be in tune with someone it's another thing to stop looking, the point is I can't stop." Esme petted Alice's back softly. "Alice what exactly did you see." Esme asked, her voice was soft like silk, but filled with Motherly love. Alice told us of Bella and how awful she looked, well I knew things couldn't look that bad, it's not like Bella was ever a prize pig to begin with, her plain looks failed to compare to that of mine or anyone else in my family. I watched Alice and sighed, I knew she missed Bella even after Alice told Esme she was fine, I watched my sister. She did not seem as energetic as usual, I went to Emmett and nudged him, he looked at me and raised an eyebrow and I smiled "hey there monkey man." Emmett smiled and stood up off the couch, he moved to hug me and I closed my eyes feeling relieved. Emmett is my pillar of strength, I cannot live without his loving hugs, I wish there was some way to go back in time and change it, I would have left Royce King right after he proposed and traveled to find Emmett and spend our lives together as humans. It is true we would both be six feet under by now, but we would have had a family lots of little boys and girls out in the yard playing. My children would have grown up and had children of their own Emmett & I would have been grandparents, maybe great grandparents wouldn't that be divine. While Emmett's arms were still wrapped around me I looked at the beautiful Christmas tree. Esme always put the Christmas decorations up earily. She enjoys the Holidays and I could not blame her. I asked Emmett to go get the presents we brought from the rental cars' boot. He let go of me and ran to fetch the presents. I went to Esme and Carlisle's room to grab the present I had bought Emmett while shopping. It was a 20 carrot gold chain necklace, I also went to the Adults store and bought sexy underwere to go on me and scented lotion I also bought baby oil to rub on Emmett, the baby oil would only make his god like muscular body stand out even more. I placed the gift wrapped presents under the tree and returned to my spot, Emmett returned and placed the wrapped presents under the tree he saw the ones addressed to him and looked all excited. I smiled seeing his excitment, my sexy monkey man was happy, thats all that I wanted at this moment. I started to fantasize about the life we could have had and was awakened from my fantasy to see Emmett looking at me, he was pleeding with me to let him open up one present early. I told him no and he frowned, I turned from Emmett so I wouldn't cave from seeing that adorable charm of his. Esme laughed while Carlisle had his arm wrapped around Esme "ah yes, young love, remember when we were like that Esme." Carlisle said. Esme smiled and rested her head on Carlisle's chest, "who says we still aren't like that." I watched Esme and Carlisle, they were an adorable pair. I excused myself and went outside and I looked around at the snowy area my ankles were covered high into snow, but I did not care it's not like I could feel the snow's cold temperature, I never felt hot or cold, I guess you could say it was a perk of being a vampire. I would say its just another human experience to treasure. Emmett joined me and asked me if I was alright he wrapped his arms around me standing behind me. I told Emmett I was fine and that I just wanted some fresh air, being this close to Emmett I remembered the magical christmas we had so long ago it truly was the best Christmas I ever experienced The night too was memorable, dancing with Emmett, getting lost in him, it was like we entered our own private world. I told Emmett about the thoughts going on in my mind at the moment. Describing how much I loved that Magical Christmas, Emmett turned me to face him and leaned in to kiss me. I kissed him back and wrapped my arms around his neck and enjoyed my time with him. We continued to kiss as it started to snow, for the longest time I did not notice the snow, I only noticed it when Emmett and I were covered in it. Emmett complimented me saying how the beautiful pure white snow only complimented my beauty. I kissed him and placed my hand on his cheek and rubbed it softly, his eyes were filled with such joy and his smile it was so enticing it made me feel warm inside. I loved my monkey man so much, I leaned in to kiss him again and he kissed me back, he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me in tightly holding me close to his warm muscular body. I rested my head on Emmetts chest, "when your with me it feels Like it's Christmas every day babe." Emmett and I decided to go to the big Christmas tree tonight to see it light up, we went inside and asked the others if they wanted to come and naturally they did, which was great. I decided to go get ready seeing as we were leaving in an hour, while Emmett went back to watch a Christmas movie. I went to the guest room and got ready. I removed my jeans & top and put on a Christmas dress, the dress was long and silk it was red & white the Christmas colors. I grabbed a pair of high heels and put on a Santa's Christmas hat. I left the room and stepped out to see Esme dressed nicely in a long black dress she looked so elegant, "someone is in the festive spirit I see." Esme said. Alice came out wearing a long red dress while Carlisle, Jasper and Emmett just wore casual clothing I could not help, but think typical men at the time. Emmett looked at me and said "whoa Ho ho Ho Rosalie." I looked at Emmett, did he just call me a hoe? I glared at Emmett and he corrected himself by saying he did not mean it the way it sounded. I decided to tease my Emmett & told him "I was going to let you open one of your presents when we got back, but you can forget it now Emmett." I heard Emmett groan out of disappointment and smiled he is so adorable. Esme & Carlisle chuckled while Jasper and Alice were content in their own little world. We all went in the same car, Emmett was driving this time, I sat in the front with Emmett while Esme, Carlisle, Alice and Jasper were in the back seat, we were in Carlisle's car, it was a tight fit. We still had fun in the car, everyone was chatting away, I watched Esme and I saw she was keeping up a strong front. I knew she missed Edward, I missed him too of course, it did not feel the same without him around, but maybe it was best he is not here with us if he was here, then he would see how happy we were and would probably feel left out without Bella around him. We made it to the tree lighting ceremony and watched the beautiful Christmas lights start up. Emmett wrapped his arms around me from behind and he rested his chin on my left shoulder. "Isn't it beautiful Emmett." I asked him. Emmett kept his grip on me and I felt him shrug "it's alright Rose, but to tell the truth its nothing, there is nothing as beautiful as you Rose." I smiled, Emmett always knew what to say to make me feel better. With Emmett's arms around my waist his hands were resting on my stomach, I placed my hands over his hands "thank you Emmett, but you won't be getting any presents early" I told him, Emmett's grip tightened around me "you already gave me a gift without knowing." he said into my ear, I asked him what I gave him and he said "your heart." I nodded "that will always belong to you, my love" I told him. We finished up at the tree lighting ceremony and walked around for a bit before returning to Esme's place. Emmett and I wished the others a good evening before returning to our guest room, I asked Emmett what he wanted to do and he answered "you" I smiled sheepishly and asked about the others, Emmett told me "what's the big deal it's not like they haven't heard us before." Emmett made a good point on that and I was about to start undressing myself when Emmett moved to stop me " hang on babe I want to unwrap you myself." he spoke. Emmett went to the cd player and turned it on, he turned it up full blast, not that it would help. Emmett came to me and undressed me he pushed me onto the bed and my back hit the matress and Emmett removed his clothing he climbed onto me and we made love well into the night. The bed eventually made a loud thud as it broke and I could hear Esme grumble from the next room "not the bed." I laughed as Emmett stopped and laid on top of me. Emmett and I rested together enjoying each other's company. I looked at the time and saw it was 1 am, it was officially Christmas day. Emmett got up and got dressed he asked me if I was coming, I told him I would come soon, he left and I decided I would come write to you and tell you of my wonderful time. Rosalie Hale |
InfoRosalie Lillian Hale In 1933, Rosalie was transformed into a vampire by Carlisle Cullen after being raped and beaten to the brink of death by a group of drunken men, including her fiancée Rosalie's diary is written by Martin. Fan Page
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