Topic: what we all have been up to
Date: October 16, 2005 Dearest Diary It's been a month since our family became divided all because of Bella Swan, the wounds from her relationship with my brother have slowly started to heal for us all except Edward. Emmett is back to his old cheerful, rambunctious self, we have been together in our home of solitude alone since helping our family relocate. I Email the family as often as possible keeping in touch with them, I have recently learned from Alice that she had a ground breaking discovery on her past finding out her full name is Mary Alice Brandon she had a little sister named cynthia and cynthia's daughters niece is still alive in Biloxi, Alice told me she went and visited her grave & the grave of her family. I wish Alice would have told me, I would have gone with her to show her some support. Alice is still pretty down about Bella, she misses the human very much, she is finding it hard to cope without her best friend, but she is coping. Alice and Jasper are living with Carlisle and Esme. Jasper is studying philosophy in Cornell, despite missing Bella, Alice seemed to be fine, Jasper is still blaming himself for the whole Bella incident. I sent him an email telling him in these exact words "Oh please, with her luck we are lucky a satellite dish did not fall down and crush us all." I was hoping it would cheer jasper up, but he did not respond so I guess it did not. I don't know why I bother, it's not like I'm Esme, I don't have the love and compassion she has, I am just a bitter self centered arrogant spoiled princess. I wish I had Esme's kindness, she is such an inspiring woman. I have had her in my life for so long and I have not even managed to become one ounce like her. The sad truth is I will never be anything other than what I am, I mean look at me now My entire family is divided and suffering from Bella Swan and here I am obsessing about how I am a horrible person. I am as shallow and petty as I was when I was first turned, I deserve to live an eternity of suffering, but I count my blessings to have Emmett in my life. Esme & Carlisle are at Ithaca, Carlisle is working nights and teaching at Cornell part time while Esme is working on restoring a seventeenth century historical house monument. Edward is no longer living with Esme and Carlisle, he said he wants time to himself, he is suffering so much it's sad. I tried to keep in contact with him, but he never answers me so my attempts are gradually slowing down. Emmett and I are talking about going on a trip to Europe for another honeymoon it sounds really fun. I have begun planning the honeymoon, I was thinking of going to Bratislava, London, Berlin and France. Emmett of course wants to go anywhere as long as it's with me, most of all he wants some "crazy Europian sex," my emmett is such a pervert, he wants to have fun everywhere and to tell the truth it sounds like fun. We may end up getting it on in the plane lavatory, this will be the best distraction I can ask for. I don't want to think about anyone else at the moment, I just want to get lost in Emmett and let him absorb me whole so we become one, I am always afraid of losing him, the thought of losing him hurts so much its unbarable. I love Emmett so much, I need him desperately, all the time when he is not around, I feel so lonely without him, when we are apart the loneliness comes in waves, I am so lost without him, it's like I am lost in a a neverending spiral of darkness. I feel cold and alone lost in a never ending spiral of pain and darkness. the sensation of being alone, lost in darkness becomes a thousand times worse with each passing second It hurts to be away from Emmett I need Emmetts warm embrace to make me feel pain I need Emmett's love to wash away my pain I need Emmetts uplifting presence to give me hope He is my future, I need him and without him I have nothing, he is my dawn, my guiding light. I have my mother Esme of course and my father Carlisle, I even have Jasper and Alice, but I feel Emmett is the only one who understands me, he is truly a magnificent man I will never understand how someone so special, so wonderful like him would love someone as awful as I am, but I am greatful I am lucky to have his love. Emmett and I have made plans to visit Carlisle & Esme for Christmas since Alice & jasper are still living with Carlisle and Esme it could be a family Christmas. Well hopefully it will be I doubt Edward will join us this Christmas, he tends to keep to himself nowadays, I will get him a present just in case he shows up. I wonder what I should get Esme & Carlisle, I may buy Esme a house or two, I don't know Emmett and I are going to go to the shops at sundown and browse around for a while, right now Emmett is watching a dvd. I think I may go and hangout with my lover, I will write back as soon as possible. ~Rosalie Hale
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Topic: A family Divided by blood
Date: September 16, 2005 Dearest Diary The aftermath of Bella Swan has left my family emotionally wounded each for different reasons. Jasper my poor brother has been beating himself up blaming himself for what has happened. It's probably worse for him, not only does he blames himself, but he feels the emotions of everyone else feeling their pain and suffering. Esme and Carlisle were down, they knew the time to move was coming, but they were hoping that Bella and Edward could sort something out when the time came. My parents knew without Bella around Edward would be without love and without love, life would be like music without notes it simply could not be. Not even Emmett could lighten the mood up; he has been unusually quiet, I think he is afraid of saying the wrong thing and making things worse. Emmett would miss Bella, he liked having her around mostly because he believed Bella was good for this family. Alice she is taking this extremely badly, she was begging Edward to change his mind. "Edward she will die without you" Edward insisted that Bella would be fine; she promised him she would not do anything reckless. Alice wanted to go and see Bella and Edward forbade it, "don't go looking for her future either; we have done enough damage Alice." Alice was begging Edward to change his mind and when he refused she at least asked to say goodbye to Bella and Edward told her "no, Bella need's a clean break from us Alice." I could hear the pain in Edward's voice, this was killing him. Edward took this worse of all, I wanted to talk to Edward and try to see how he was "Edward," I called to him as I walked to him. He turned around to look at me; I thought Edward would hate me because I was right all along. What I saw was horrible, I looked into his eyes and I saw such pain there, it was too much to handle, "Edward, I.." before I could finish Edward interrupt me "Not now Rosalie," he turned and walked away. Even Edward's walk had changed, since meeting Bella he walked with pride and confidence now...it’s like he is dragging himself just to move. Emmett and I had helped Esme and Carlisle move, before we were on our way back to Africa. We did not talk much on the way back he was still depressed and I did not know what to say, it was no secret that I did not like Bella swan and from the first moment I laid eyes on that human I knew she would be trouble for my family and I ended up being right, but what I did not expect was how much that one human touched my family. She managed to touch every one of our lives in some way or another; well she did not touch mine. I wanted to distance myself as far as possible from the human, I did not open myself up to her not once, I avoided her like she had the plague and I never spoke to her directly. I always thought I hated Bella swan for bringing conflict into my family and that her relationship with Edward would end bad and divide us. It’s just I now find myself questioning how I feel about her. Do not get me wrong, I am glad Edward left Bella. The human has to be with her own kind, she deserves to grow up, have a family and have everything life can offer her. I just wish that she did not have to suffer this heartbreak she must no doubt be feeling and that Edward too would not be feeling this pain, but I believe in time things will become better. Bella will forget about us, she would think of us as a school girl fantasy, when she is married and perhaps explaining to her own heartbroken daughter someday that time heals all wounds or some such nonsense. Edward, I hope he too can move on, that he finds a nice female vampire and falls madly in love with her. I however doubt that will happen, Edward loves Bella with all his heart and for him there can be no substitutes. I just don't know what I can do to help Edward. I don't think he will ever recover from this in fact he will only be worse off. Someone once said it was better to have love and loss than never to have loved before. I believed that in Edward's case it's wrong, he knew love and now he must go on for eternity with a bleeding heart. Emmett and I have been home now for a few days and he is slowly starting to return to normal. I am going to go and see what I can do to cheer him up; maybe I will challenge him to a football game and let him tackle me if you get my drift. ~Rosalie Hale Date: 13th September, 2005
Dearest Diary The events that unfolded today were just as I predicted when Edward & Bella first started their foolish relationship, but to understand the events that happened this evening you must first understand the events of today. Alice had worked on researching the past to find out more about her life before the asylum. She had found nothing yet, but my sister was not one to give up, she would fight to discover the truth about her past regardless of what her discovery would be. Jasper seemed a little on edge he informed us that he was having trouble with his thirst and when Edward asked if he would be ok for tonight he assured us that he would. Esme had begun working on a birthday cake for Bella, while Carlisle kissed Esme on his way out to go to the hospital and Emmett was watching tv with Jasper. I was content with sitting at the window and watching the beautiful scenery. Out of all the properties we have lived in all over the world, Forks was my favorite. I missed Forks, Emmett and I now live in Africa since we both graduated from high school. The only reason we were in Forks today, was because of Bella Swan, Emmett wanted to be here for her birthday. I did not want to come at first, but I missed Esme. The reason behind us moving out was because Emmett and I decided it was time for us to be on our own for a while, one of the reasons why he wanted to move out is so we don't have to sneak out of the house and go all the way to a worn out old cabin to make love or as he calls it "the couple appreciation time." I smiled thinking of Emmett, he was always so cheerful and daring. I considered his attitude, one of his most sexiest attributes. I love the way he talks, the way he is so flamboyant. Emmett and I had of course broken the news to everyone and it was our cover story for the humans. We are going to college in Dartmouth. I have yet to tell you about my relationship with Edward, things have improved slightly between us, what can I say, but distance makes the heart grow stronger. Our relationship is still pretty tense and as usual I do not allow him to see my thoughts. I concentrated on Emmett and our couple appreciation time reflecting on the good parts. Edward shivered and made a disgruntled sound and I chuckled a little. Emmett looked at me and smiled "what's on your mind Rose?" he asked. Edward shivered again and said back "I really did not want to know that." and he left the room, in a flash, Emmett broke out into laughter. "Naughty girl" he said. I smiled and moved from the window side to the couch and sat on his lap. I put my legs on Jasper's lap and he watched me as I leaned in to kiss his lips. Emmett was playful and kissed me French style, Jasper and Alice weren’t as open about their relationship as Emmett & I, they showed their affection behind closed doors. Alice finally seemed to have enough research and closed off her laptop. Edward returned and glanced into the room cautiously looking left and right. I could not help, but smile although I don't approve of his relationship with Bella, I enjoy seeing him happy and full of life. It's hard to believe that he has changed so much. I am also glad that Edward has enough sense to refuse Bella's wish to become a vampire. Since the whole James incident, she is insisting that she become a vampire...stupid child, she wants to throw away her life for this, being cursed with immortality, Bella is such an ignorant fool. I remained on Emmett's lap and turned to see Esme was baking yet another layer for the pink birthday cake. I could not help, but wonder why make one so big considering Bella was the only human who was coming. The rest of us were on liquid diets if you catch my drift. Edward walked into the room as Alice stood up "Alright Edward tonight is going to be magnificent, we will give Bella a night she will never forget right." she asked. Edward smiled that crooked smile of his and nodded his head. "Right." Alice clapped her hands excited, "now knowing Bella she is going to be kicking and dragging her feet, we must endure her complaining and show no waver in our resolve." Esme nodded her head agreeing and I rolled my liquid gold eyes up and snuggled closer to Emmett. I considered their actions to be very foolish. Edward looked at me as I accidently let it slip in my mind that this was completely unnecessary. Edward walked to the tv and turned it off and Emmett complained. "Rosalie you promise me tonight you will be on your best behavior, Bella is a guest in our home and I don’t want to hear a single snide comment from you and no glaring. Today is about Bella, not you, understand." I shrugged my shoulders, "Sure whatever," I answered Edward and then he glanced at me his eyes were cold "Promise me Rose" he repeated, I frowned and looked at Emmett. Iit's just for one night babe, she will be out of your hair before you know it." I heard Jasper complain about wanting to see the rest of the game and I frowned "I promise I will behave Edward." I told him annoyed. Edward turned on the TV and the football game on the cable tv ended replaying the last kick. "YES I WIN, IN YOUR FACE JASPER" Emmett cheered and he kissed me with passion. "I should have asked for Alice's help" Jasper grumbled as Emmett and I kept kissing. The day went by pretty fast as Alice & Edward went to school. Jasper seemed to be missing Alice a great deal, I thought it was cute. Emmett and Jasper went out to play catch ,I remained behind with Esme and we spoke about Edward and Bella and she admitted that Bella being human was a big obstacle in their relationship and it was dangerous, but it did not matter because she already thought of Bella as a daughter and cared for her greatly In Esme's words she said this "Bella is a lovely girl Rosalie, she maybe only human, but look what she has done for this family, she brought Edward from his shell and in all the time I have known Edward I have never seen him so at peace, that alone is reason enough to call her family." I looked at Esme and debated with my point of view about treasuring life and again Esme answered. "Rosalie, I understand where you are coming from, but Bella is of age, she knows what she wants honey, you need to understand that not everyone wants the same things as you do. Bella is walking down the pathway of life she feels that she belongs to. She follows her heart, Rosalie and her heart is guiding her to Edward, I personally support her decision to want to join our family she is just as much my daughter as you are." It was obvious we would come to an impasse and I understood Esme my mother had such a loving heart. Emmett and Jasper returned during the day, both seemed to be in a good mood. I stayed in the kitchen as Emmett came up from behind and wrapped his arms around me and kissed my neck. "Did you have fun Emmett?" I asked him and he chuckled "you know it babe." Alice came home from school in her usual upbeat mood, Jasper asked if Bella caved in. “Naturally,” she answered cheerfully, one of the things I like most about Alice is that if someone tries to make her do something she will end up doing things her own way and usually the results end up better than expected. Alice bolted to her bedroom and dropped off her school bag. “Bella and Edward will be here around 7pm this leaves us four hours to get prepared, so here is what we are going to do. Esme you and I will get the decorations’ ready. Emmett you and Jasper, you boys are on yard patrol, now I want you boys to grab the lanterns hung up around the porch, Rosalie..I want you to grab the roses and put them in big bowls lined at the wide stairs at the front door.” I often think that if Alice was born in today’s world she could have had two occupations a party planner or an army general, the way she bossed us around was annoying. I looked at Alice “I have plans of my own.” Alice's face went blank. “Really you are going to spend the next four hours getting ready for the party.” I smiled and she sighed “what can I say, a girl has to look her best.” Esme rolled up her eyes and Emmett let go of me. I kissed Emmett’s cheek and went upstairs to get ready and I could hear Alice speak “she can be so shallow sometimes.” I ignored Alice they were just words, I picked out a black dress and the jewelry to wear and next I did my hair and my nails. I was ready in an hour and went to my old room, it had not changed a bit. I finally heard “she’s here she’s here everyone at your designated spots.” My right eyebrow twitched now she was telling us to stand...forget army general she could be a dictator. I ran down to the lounge room. I had promised Edward I would behave tonight. I looked around to see the dozens of pink candles along with crystal bowls of flowers everywhere. “Oh yeah, real intelligent lets light the entire lounge room with candles with seven highly flammable vampires and a human.” I spoke sarcastically. Carlisle walked in from the kitchen, “such a pessimist my child.” He spoke cheerful and I frowned. I considered myself a realist. I examined the table draped over a white cloth next to Edward’s grand piano with Esme’s pink cake that she baked and silver wrapped presents. I rolled my eyes and went to Emmett’s side and stood beside my man. He told me I looked incredible and I thanked him, Edward and Bella entered and we all chortled “Happy Birthday.” I glanced at Bella and could see something strange on her face, Edward wrapped his arms around her in hopes to comfort her. Carlisle & Esme stood in front of us and he spoke “Sorry about this Bella, we couldn’t rein in Alice.” Carlisle had made a valid point; Alice is like a hurricane, no force on this planet can stop the savage pixie. Bella looked at me and I did not glare and I also did not smile. I kept my face blank as I thought of other matters. Emmett on the other hand had that big beautiful grin on his face, “you haven’t changed at all, I expected a perceptible difference, but here you are, all red faced just like always.” Bella thanked him and he laughed before excusing himself. Bella seemed to have won Emmett over, he thinks she is interesting and he seems to believe with her bad luck life would only keep getting even more eventful. I hoped he was wrong for all our sakes. Alice had given the orders that it was time to move onto the traditional gift giving. I wanted to give Bella a plane ticket. A one way plane ticket as far from us as possible, Emmett wouldn’t hear of it so Jasper, Emmett and I put our money together for a Radio for her sorry excuse of a car. The gift giving continued until things got bad....real bad. Bella got a paper cut and the scent of blood it filled the air and our thirst became extremely bad and very discomforting. Jasper was the first to lose it, he sprinted to Bella intent on making her dinner and collided into Edward. The sound was like boulders smashing into one another and Jasper tried his best to get past Edward, his teeth snapping inches from Edward’s face. Emmett left my side and ran to restrain Jasper. Bella took a fall and the next thing I knew Carlisle told Emmett and I to get Jasper outside. We did as we were told and I helped my poor brother outside once we were far enough from the house Jasper regained control of himself, Emmett and I kept our guard up just in case. Emmett was strong, but Jasper had more experience in combat than the two of us combine. He kept blaming himself and I looked at my adopted twin brother. I went close to him and comforted him, but it did not help. We were eventually joined by Esme & Alice and finally Edward. “We should just turn her Edward, it’s what she wants” Alice started speaking as she hugged Jasper. “No” Edward said out; Esme was quiet, listening as Alice continued to tell of her vision and how this one would not change. I had enough and in these exact words said “whether she wants the change or not it doesn’t matter you all seem to forget about the treaty we have made with the mongrels so long ago. We live on these lands, it is our home provided that we never bite another human again.” “The werewolves are dead babe; the treaty is no longer in play.” Emmett said and I shook my head “NO regardless of the mongrels status as dead or alive, we have given our word, Emmett, we will keep the treaty, we are vampires with honor, we keep our word.” Edward was silent and Alice face filled with horror “No Edward there has to be another way, please.” Alice had seen something and Esme asked what it was. Alice answered “he is going to leave Bella....we are leaving Forks, I have seen it.” Edward went on telling us it was for Bella’s own good that she was in danger with us, I was glad Edward was finally seeing common sense. I said nothing, knowing Edward whatever I would say would probably be an I told you so to him, but I was proud he was finally doing the right thing. Emmett and I talked it over and we both agreed to stay with our family, only until we help them get settled in and then we would return to Africa. I am currently in my room while Edward has gone to drop Bella off home. The girl has no idea the heart break that awaits her. I almost pity her....almost. I need to go now I am going to go help clean up and see how Alice is doing. I know how close she is to Bella, this must be hard for her too. ~Rosalie Hale. Date: March 17th, 2006
Dearest Diary, The war between the Nomad coven and my family is over, thankfully. The end resulted in James’ death…… and the near death of Bella Swan. I have to tell you how everything happened. Alice & Jasper took Bella to Phoenix to try to keep her safe. While hiding her there, Bella called her mother at home and left a message. James was at her home, though, and had heard the message then tricked Bella into thinking he had her mother held hostage by using old video footage of their vacations and playing the audio over the phone. He manipulated the audio to sound like she was begging for her life. I have to admit, I am impressed with Bella. She managed to fool Alice and Jasper, even with both of them possessing heightened senses and, of course, Alice’s ability to see the future. They should have detected the deception that Bella planned, but they didn’t. Bella used a two exit bathroom at the airport to escape from Jasper and caught a cab to a ballet studio near her home. Brave girl. Bella was a fool to think James would release her mother, even if he did have her. James ended up torturing Bella, injuring her greatly, he even bit her arm. Bella was saved by Edward, Alice, Carlisle, Jasper and my Emmett; together they took down James while Edward sucked the venom from Bella’s arm and saved her life… her human life. If he hadn’t, the change would have happened and Bella would have been one of us by now. I don’t know how he did it, but Edward found the strength to stop feeding off Bella, something that is close to impossible. He loves her with every ounce of his immortal strength, that I will never ever doubt. He resisted feeding off her, something that normally causes an uncontrollable frenzy. Carlisle and Edward managed to get Bella to the hospital, while Jasper, Alice and Emmett burned James’ remains and the ballet studio to get rid of any evidence. Alice made sure to take the video camera. Esme and I waited at home nervously for our men to return to us. When Emmett, Jasper and Alice returned they informed us that Bella was going to be fine, that Edward saved her. We were both so proud to hear of Edward’s control. I hugged Emmett tightly and did not let go of him. I missed him so much and I was incredibly worried about him. I was terrified he would get hurt, my reckless monkey man. Emmett and I went off to the old cabin together and we spent some time there alone. I needed to be with him, just him, for a while. I refused let go of Emmett for the longest time. I just hugged him. Emmett rubbed my back in the way a parent would try to soothe their child. It terrifies me anytime Emmett is in potential danger. For us immortals when you lose your love, you have to go on for an eternity without them. An eternity of undying pain. I tend to push those thoughts from my head as quickly as they come, though. Emmett kept his promise. He came back to me safe and unharmed. But still, I did not let go of him. I never wanted to let go of him again. He was the only one that made this way of life bearable. Without him I was nothing. I kissed him passionately and ripped off his clothing. He ripped off mine. When I say ‘ripped,’ I mean that in the literal sense. Our strength is intensified when we’re in the heat of the moment - and it’s hard to help it, we literally tear each others clothes off, shreds of fabric floating to the floor in little piles. We made love in the old cabin and it felt so good to be with Emmett again. Familiarity. I felt incredibly close to him, and I could tell he felt the same. Emmett lights up around me. His grin gets a little wider, his eyes a little brighter. I love Emmett. I love him more than anything. Forever. The days that kept us apart only made our passion more explosive. Lets just say we had a good time in the cabin. Emmett and I spent more time together just laughing and talking before returning home. We crept home naked and ran to our bedroom when we were clear. I need to make a mental note to leave some clothing for Emmett and I at the old cabin. Emmett and I got dressed and when we went downstairs my eyes flickered to Alice sitting outside with the video camera. Jasper was standing inside, giving Alice her space, trying not to hover. I asked him what happened, why Alice was holding the camera with such a confused and hurt look drowning out her normally happy, angelic features. I was blown away when I learned what was happening. I wanted to go and see Alice and try to find out how she was, but Jasper told me it was best that she was left alone for now… and I understood, completely. She needed time to process this. I felt the same way when I learned what happened to my family. Emmett and I returned to our room and we sat on our couch, speechless. After about ten short minutes of not saying anything, I broke the silence and asked Emmett if he wanted to go hunting. He did, but first he wanted to ask Jasper and Alice if they wanted to join us. He thought it might help Alice, keep her a little distracted while she figures out how she feels. So I sit here now writing to you and thinking about the lives that has been changed all because of Bella Swan. The death of James, a nomad vampire. The eternal loss of love for Victoria, she will never again know the touch of her love and must now walk the earth alone. My sister Alice, who has discovered that the reason why she has no memory is because she was locked in an asylum all alone in darkness. Something I’m assuming she would have preferred not knowing. All these lives affected by Bella Swan. I fear that if she and Edward continue this relationship many more will suffer. Such a fragile human, yet she causes so much destruction. So much chaos. ~Rosalie Hale Date: March 13th, 2006
Dearest Diary Edward and Bella’s relationship has grown in such a short time; is it love that the two share? I believe it is. How can Edward love someone who he wants so badly to kill? He has changed so much in the short time since he first met that Bella human. He composes songs without bitterness or darkness. The music he writes and performs is sweet and alluring. He has a natural talent for music, that brother of mine. It’s beautiful. Edward and I have yet to reconcile, if you’re wondering. I blame Bella for the conflict she has brought, but I also blame myself for my own pride. I had the power to change everything, to just give in and accept their relationship, but if I did that I would be betraying my beliefs. I would be disregarding the law. Vampire law. Edward informed us that he intended to bring Bella to our home today. Lovely. I was against it, of course. The girl already knew too much about us. Alice was excited and full of life. She had told us she had a vision that she would be best friends with Bella. So I guess I have been replaced. I, however, am not threatened by Bella. She is only human, after all. A weak, fragile human. Alice and Jasper decided to go hunting to make things easier on Jasper. He doesn’t have the control the rest of us do yet. Esme said she was fine, her eyes still perfectly golden. Carlisle was in his office, working. Emmett seemed excited to meet the Bella girl, but I decided I could not be there. I went to Esme and told her I intended to go out to the old cottage near by. I planned on doing some homework I’d neglected. Esme tried to convince me to stay, and Emmett wanted me to stay too, but I held my own. Edward overheard everything and spoke up. “No it’s fine Esme,” he said. “If she can’t be happy for me, I rather her not be here when I bring Bella over.” I looked away from Edward and excused myself then grabbed my school bag and left the house. I traveled through the forest, running at inhuman speed. I found myself somewhat startled when I saw that Emmett was running beside me. I asked him what he was doing, why he wasn’t at the house. He grinned. “Where you go, I will follow… even if it’s to the ends of the universe,” he said, lovingly. I smiled, shocked by his devotion. I know Emmett loves me more than anything, but I still get surprised when he shows it. After a quick run, we arrived at the cottage. Emmett and I entered silently through the front door. I sat on the old comfy chair and lowered my bag. I was surprised Esme has not redecorated this old place. I did my homework while Emmett talked, trying to convince me to go back to the house. I told him no, I did not want to be around the human and if he wanted to, he was free to go and take part in the illegal activities. “Come on babe, don’t be like that,” he responded. I looked down, then back up at Emmett, who was frowning. His beautiful face he was so adorable when he frowned. I stood up and walked to Emmett and climbed onto his lap then kissed his lips. He kissed me back and wrapped his huge arms around me. I felt so safe in his muscular, yet comforting arms. Like nothing else mattered. Simply being held by Emmett melted away any fears I had… momentarily. I kissed Emmett’s lips again, softer this time, then moved down to kiss his neck. Emmett groaned. “That feels good Rose,” he whispered, grinning. I smiled and softly bit his neck. I enjoyed his scent more than anything. It was intoxicating to me. I pulled out of Emmett’s hug and pulled off his shirt. “Like what you see, babe?” he asked, his golden eyes sizing me up. I nodded my head and smiled as I leaned in and kissed his chest. “My monkey man,” I breathed. Emmett had that smile on his face. You’ve never seen such a beautiful smile, Diary. It’s unbelievable. Emmett….this smile he does…. it’s not using his mouth really, it’s like he’s smiling with his eyes. He gets this look and it’s extremely bold and seductive and really mischievous - way more so than his usual mischievous grin. I can swear my lifeless heart almost begins to beat again when he looks at me that way. Emmett stood up and he carried me to the table, my legs wrapped around his waist. He leaned down and pushed my school books off the table without effort. Emmett and I made love right there in the cottage. The table, needless to say, did not survive our little adventure. Emmett was proud to say it was because of our passion. He always seems proud when we break the furniture. My theory was the termites, of course. But I let Emmett have his victory, not wanting to spoil his good time. Shortly after, Emmett received a text message from Alice. “She says there is going to be a storm tonight, you know what this means,” he said, his eyebrows almost lifting off his face. “Baseball,” I replied with a wink. Emmett Lifted me up and swirled me around in the air holding me close to his chest. “Come on babe. You’re going to play, right?” I looked at him for half a second, then smiled. How could I refuse him. I caved in and told him I was in. I decided to ignore Bella, for my Emmett. She wasn’t going to ruin his fun. We went to the clearing and the thunder was impressive. Loud enough to drown out our thunderous batting. Bella was there, and she was dressed rather plainly. I was surprised Alice did not dress the girl. I mean, since they’re all best friends now. Alice always picked out everyone’s outfits. She tends to know what looks good on people. We played baseball for a short time before Alice got a vision. We quickly gathered around and she told us that there were vampires coming in our direction. Needless to say, things got chaotic, and of course, it was Bella’s fault. The vampires were nice; they even wanted to play ball with us, until James caught Bella’s scent and wanted to have her as a snack. Edward’s hisses were louder than the rain pouring from the sky. His growls gave the thunder a run for its money. After a menacing warning, the clan left Bella unharmed… but she isn’t safe yet. We went back to our home and one of James’ coven members, Laurent, was there. He had a warning for us. He told us all that James is a tracker. The hunt is like a game to him. He wouldn’t stop until he caught Bella. Edward was overwhelmed with guilt for putting Bella in harms way and demanded I help him. “Go upstairs and trade clothes with Bella,” he said, and I knew it wasn’t a question. I looked at Edward’s eyes and saw fear. It was painful to see such fear, and a part of me wanted to help him. I could forget every hurtful word he said, and those loathing looks, but I couldn’t help him. I couldn’t help protect a human… I am a vampire. We don’t protect humans. “Why should I?” I rebutted. “What is she to me… except a menace, a danger that you have chosen to inflict on all of us?” I tried to sound as cold and ruthless as possible. Emmett placed his hand on my shoulder. “Rose,” he tried to sound rational, but I shook his hand off me before he could say anything more. I stood my ground and refused to ignore the law. At least I tried to… The way Edward looked at me after I said that. It gave me a moment to reconsider, but I refused again and then this new look came over him. He looked at me as if he did not know me, like I was non-existent to him. He looked like he saw nothing but a vacancy where I stood. I watched him turn to Esme and ask her to trade clothing with Bella instead. “Of course,” Esme replied, and she was next to Bella in a heartbeat. Esme took Bella upstairs and after they left Carlisle approached me and we got into a small argument. He told me Bella was a part of our family now. He told me that I had to treat her like family, because she is with Edward. I told Carlisle that I believe everything Edward was doing was foolish. I told him that Bella could not be a part of this family. I looked at Emmett and saw him gear up, grabbing a large backpack. I had no intention of helping Edward out, until Carlisle made me feel guilty. I should tell you about my father’s ability. Some say Carlisle is the most compassionate vampire on the planet. I say he is the master of guilt trips, though. When Carlisle went to defend me to Edward, he was sure to make me feel an unrelenting guilt. “I am sure Rosalie has her reasons Edward. Even if she does not want to help the family, who have shown her so much love and support in the past,” he said, putting his head down as if he were ashamed of me. Once Carlisle spoke, I knew I would end up defeated. I should have known Carlisle would come to Edwards aid. I mean, he is the favorite. I sighed… finding it harder to give in than I imagined, and told them that the only thing I would do is take Bella’s truck with Esme to watch over Bella’s father Charlie while they’re gone. That’s it. Nothing more, and nothing less. Carlisle thanked me for helping them out and I glowered at him with obvious resentment. Esme returned from upstairs and was not surprised by all this. Like all vampires, she has magnified hearing that is perhaps a thousand times better than humans. Emmett was going to the front line of this war with Edward to take James down. Emmett is the strongest out of us. He really is my monkey man and I admire his courage. I went to Edward as everyone left for the kitchen and gave him a little piece of my mind. “If anything happens to Emmett, I will never forgive you, Edward. Make sure you take care of him for me,” I said firmly. I was almost shocked by how cold and ruthless my voice sounded. I knew everyone, apart from Bella, could hear. I didn’t care though. I just wanted to make sure Emmett remained safe. I went to the kitchen and joined my family. I refused to make eye contact with Carlisle. I was still angry about the guilt trip card he played. Emmett hugged me tighter than ever. “Relax Rose,” he started. “I promise I am going to be okay.” I hugged Emmett back and asked, “do you promise?” He nodded his head and told me to relax again. I pulled back and looked at Emmett. I knew he saw this as a game. Something fun to do. Emmett is always so reckless. I can’t help but worry about him. I just hope he keeps his promise and comes back to me safely. I can’t function without him. We all left according to the plan, and now Esme and I have begun watching Charlie. I don’t mind watching Charlie at all, actually. I do not blame him for his daughter’s actions. He seems to be a good man. He seems lonely. We are watching Charlie now, at this very moment. He is inside his home, dozing off with the game on the television. I feel for Charlie, he has dedicated his life to upholding the laws of humanity and has done no wrong to anyone, and now, he is in mortal peril without even knowing. The only thing I can say is if I am a terrible daughter for not wanting to help my family out, then how much worse is Bella for endangering her own father’s life. I need to go now, Esme wants to talk and I should be watching for the red headed Victoria woman. Rosalie Hale Date: March 9th 2006
She came to us from the Valley of the Sun, her essence drove my brother insane and now she knows the truth. What next will befall my family & how do we survive the chaos she brings, I wish I knew the answers to these questions, the only thing I know now is we are no longer safe. Dearest Diary I am sincerely sorry for not writing to you Diary. I have been under so much strain that not even Emmett's warm embrace can relieve. Edward and I still are not on talking terms we speak only when needed. I Have even stopped going hunting with Edward. He knew what he needed to do to end this feud. He had to stop obsessing over that Swan girl. Esme of course dislikes how we are treating one another, but I refuse to sell out and trade in my morals and beliefs. Humans should be with humans. Bella deserved humanity. She deserved to live a life of joy. To have children and grow old and die that is the way it should be. Edward's behaviour has become careless and eratic. Exactly seven days ago Edward snuck into Bella's bedroom and watched her sleep. The next day Edward sits with her during lunch...while Emmett, Jasper, Alice and I sat outside, as if I needed more reason to dislike the human. Last night everything changed Edward returned home. I could smell the scent of Bella all over him and I asked him where he had been. He told us he was following Bella and was glad he did it she was almost attacked by thugs. I was shocked when I heard that and I had a flashback to that night where Royce and his friends attacked me. I was glad Edward followed her no one deserved to suffer that ordeal not even Bella. I wondered how was it one girl could gravitate so much chaos to her? She has a talent for inviting death into her life. If I was her one of her human friends, I would be anxious when I was around her. My sympathy for the Swan girl quickly ended when I learned that after saving Bella he admitted not only his identity as a vampire, but all of our Identitys. I was furious with Edward and called him a fool for exposing us. I reminded him about the Voltori and he told me not to worry that if they found out he would take all the blame so "My shallow neck would be safe" I was hurt at those words. How could Edward not realize that it was not just my own safety I was concerned about, but that of our family...of his safety. I recovered from that verbal kick to the stomach and told him "you better." Afterwards I left the family meeting and Emmett joined me shortly after. We went to the clearing and spent the night there and then returned to get ready for school. When I arrived home Alice chimed cheerfully that Edward had gone to pick up Bella and take her to school. So this meant I would be taking Emmett, Alice and Jasper to school in my car. That's fine I had no problem with that and to be honest I did not want to be anywhere near Edward after the hurtful thing he had said. I wondered how could Edward my older brother be so selfish and so pigheaded to not see the truth, to not see how much he was endangering us his family & how much he is stealing from Bella. I know he cares for her I can see it in his eyes and I can see how much he is changing, it's gradual. But I see his humanity being restored and how alive he is becoming. It's a new Edward, but this new Edward comes at much too high a price. Today Edward and Bella went public with their relationship everyone at school is talking about them. Poor Mike Newton looks like he found out his puppy had cancer or something. Eric and Tyler did not take it much better, I wondered if they formed a I hate Edward Cullen club and then decided I was thinking too much about the humans. I had stuck with Emmett today and reminded myself of my own private rule I had made after the whole ordeal with my father's death. Never ever take an interest in the humans and that's what I do. I partake in class, but only when needed. I keep trying to think of a way to stop Edward, but I know I can't he will follow his heart and do what he thinks is right. All I can do is hope, hope that he will come to his senses and let Bella go. Let her go and give her the greatest gift he could ever give her....Life. ~Rosalie Hale Date: January 26th 2005
Dearest Diary This is going to be a short entry as Emmett and I have a lot of plans today, but the important thing is we have survived....our secret is safe for now. Edward followed Bella around the entire day, he can't read her mind for some reason, but he could read the minds of those around her. She told no one. I am thankful for that, but I also know this will not be the last of Bella Swan. She has seen far too much, the human girl will ask questions on how Edward saved her. The real question is, will Bella know what's good for her and keep away from us? I have been watching Edward during school today. It's true I could not watch him in class since I am a senior, but I have been watching him at lunch and I can see his attention is focused on Bella he watches her so intently...I begin to suspect Edward is indeed having feelings of affection for her. Jasper told Edward that it's best to keep himself clear of Bella, but I doubt Edward will listen to that advice. Edward Cullen has never been one to listen to the advice of others. I mean look at his hair, for over fifty years I have been telling him to take pride in his appearance, but he shrugs it off and continues to go around as an untidy man. I have actually stopped giving him advice it's just too exhausting to nag him about something he will never change. Edward snapped at me today on the drive home from school. I asked Edward what his plans were to deal with Bella and he told me in these words "you really should stop obsessing with this Rosalie and mind your own business." I folded my arms and found myself offended by Edward. He later appologised to me, but I shrugged him off, instead Emmett and I went to the clearing and we spent some time together. I was afaid not just for Edward, but for all of us. Edward was too close to breaking one of our laws the law of secrecy. No human can ever learn the existance of vampires. True they know of vampires, but they know us only as a myth, that is the way the Voltori set it up. The Voltori are an Italian coven of vampires that are considered royalty amongst our species. They are the keepers of our law and are unforgiving.....as the Denali's learned the hard way. The Voltori is led by three ancient vampires, Caius a man who is as cold hearted as his skin, Marcus a man who has suffered the greatest tragedy a vampire could ever come across and finally the most dangerous one of all, Aro, the man with two faces. Now Aro doesn't have two faces, but he is fake he acts all friendly and nice, but in reality is a cold hearted collector. He collects talented vampires to increase his guard. He is not one to be underestimated! I have learned about the Voltori from Carlisle's lectures back in my newborn years and from Tanya. The Voltori wanted to wipe out the Denali coven because of Tanya's mother, she broke the law by creating an immortal child. You can never can you turn an infant into a vampire, it will only bring chaos, because their minds will forever be at that age that they are turned and never developed. Caius insisted of Tanya and her sister's death, but they were spared in the end thanks to their ignorance of their mother's action. This happened a long long time ago way before I ever became a vampire. Still Tanya and her sisters suffer the loss of their mother. I don't want to lose Edward he may be a grouch, but he is family. I told Emmett of my fears and Emmett just hugged me and said it would be awesome to get into a fight with Felix. I sighed, Emmett is always a little over energetic, always wanting to fight with someone. I do my best of course to exhaust some of that never ending energy. It usually ends with us needing a new house. I don't really mind and it gives Esme something to do. I really should go now Emmett and I are going Hiking this afternoon and maybe we might thin out the forest if you catch my drift. ~Rosalie Hale Date: January 26th, 2005
Dearest Diary I don't even know where to begin in updating you from the events of the last eight days so as always I will start at the beginning. Edward never returned my calls surprise surprise! He returned four days later and began to go on regular hunts, taking as much precautions as possible to avoid eating the Swan girl. Esme is glad to have Edward home, she was hurt that he left so sudden, she understood why he did it though. I could see now how hurt Esme would have been if I ran away all those years ago rather than return home. I don't hold a grudge against Edward how could I hold a grudge against family, I have accepted him no tact and all. I was glad when Edward returned home, I was worried about him. I know the Denali's would never harm him, but I felt better having him close so I can watch over him. Edward, Emmett and I went hunting the day before yesterday. I did my best to keep my thoughts to myself and avoid placing strain on Edward. He is already suffering so much from the swan girl's presence. Edward returned to school with us the day before yesterday and there it began, the swan girl was eyeing Edward like a moth to a flame. I watched the Swan girl with curiosity, see, humans have this powerful instinct for survival, they may not understand the instinct and will often dismiss it as thinking they dislike people like us, because of our uniqueness, but that is actually their human survival instinct telling them to run for the hills. The point I am trying to make is, normal humans do not approach us because it's their instincts telling them to run the other way. I could see Bella's eyes with my enhanced sight, the distance did not hinder me at all and I saw something alarming..... I saw no fear in her eyes, but I did see something else. I looked into Edwards eyes and I also saw something unusual, I could see he hated the Swan girl, but I saw something else like a spark. This was very unusual, Edward's interest is peeked. I wonder what it means, could it be he has.....no that's impossible it's not that. I need to get a grip, I am seeing things. He sees Bella as a human happy meal nothing else I am sure of that. Edward, however, did something yesterday that is unacceptable he exposed us!. We were at school and one of the humans, what was his name, oh yes, it was Tyler Crowley. He lost control of his van and almost turned the Swan girl into a pancake. Tyler's van was about to crash into Bella and her ugly truck. She survived, your asking how she survived right? Ok I will tell you how. Edward saved Bella by stopping the van with his strength. I don't believe it, how could he be so foolish, he exposed not just himself, but our entire family. I drove Alice, Jasper & my Emmett home, while Edward went straight to the hospital with Bella. I dropped off my family & husband at home so they could tell Esme and I drove straight to the hospital. I found Edward in the waiting room and pulled him up on his actions. he debated this naturally. He claims no one will believe her, if she told anyone and I reminded him this was not just about him, but our entire family. I wanted to continue my point, believe me, I had a lot of good points to make, but Carlisle pointed out we should take our discussion to his office. I looked around and saw her I shot her a threatening look. Carlisle and I went to his office where he tried to calm me down, but I would not hear a word of it . I waited impatiently for Edward to finish his discussion with the Bella. Edward finally joined us he explained the conversation he had with Bella and I asked him about the next time she wanted answers. Carlisle suggested the excuse of an adrenaline rush. That's all very well, but I asked what about the evidence of the hand print left in poor Tyler's van. Edward looked stumped as to what to do about that, I sighed and told him I would clean that up. But it would be the last time. I left Edward and Carlisle in a rage and went to the car lot. I waited until it was clear and then got rid of the evidence of Edward's hand print. Then I returned home to be with Emmett. We went for a walk to the clearing. I enjoyed being at the clearing alone with Emmett we spoke a bit and Emmett told me Jasper's is also furious about Edward exposing us. I asked Emmett what he thought and he told me he did not know what to think, he does know he is not to fond of Bella. Emmett hugged me from behind reassuring me. He told me not to worry about it that our secret is safe. I received a text message from Jasper telling me Edward was home. Emmett and I went home and we went to see what Edward would do about Bella. The entire family was gathered and I asked Edward what he planned to do about Bella. He told us he would follow Bella around for the day and hear the thoughts of everyone around her to see if she would expose us. That seemed to satisfy the family, but I still did not like it. I left Edward and everyone else and went to sit on the roof to calm down. Emmett came and kept me company, not too long after leaving everyone and held me in his big strong arms. I found myself calming down as I sat in his lap and felt safe. I loved it when Emmett held me and kissed me it felt like bliss like cloud 9 as the human's of today's world would say. Emmett and I are going back to the clearing now to spend some alone time together. I want to forget about our problem with the Swan girl at least for a little while. ~Rosalie Hale Date January 18th, 2005
The entire world has turned upside down for some plain human girl Dearest diary, It has been nearly fifty four years since I made my last entry - when I wrote about my evening with my Mother Esme. It has been a long time since I have written anything down, mainly because I’ve been consumed with Emmet and because us Cullen’s and Hales are like boulders in a river, never changing. Not enough has happened to comment on here, we never change but we see those around us aging and dying. I kept my promise and put Royce and that night behind me. I haven’t forgotten, but have turned my focus to my love, my lover, Emmet. He has supported and put up with me and loved me back all these years. We are currently living with Carlisle and Esme pretending to be ‘just dating’ again to keep up our cover story. I still remember our first magical wedding night. I smile at the memories of what we got up to. We have since been married many times over the years and do so every couple of years just to recommit ourselves to each other forever. Emmett is my mate and my best friend and I love him with every ounce of my existence. We are never really far apart from each other. It’s almost as though we are joined at the hip. The only gripe I have with Emmett is that he cheats at baseball. Carlisle is still with Esme, of course, and uses his immortality to care for people. He heals the suffering of humanity. He works at Forks, WA hospital. I admire Carlile’s restraint; the hospital is saturated with the smell of sweet, enticing blood all the time, yet he has the strength to do no harm whatsoever. He is an amazing man, and father. Esme she is still the same and a lovely mother. She has not changed one bit, either. She spends her time redecorating the house and making new plans to redecorate the other houses we have all over the world. She likes to buy real estate all over the globe, then fix it up to nearly perfection. Her decorating skills admirable. Alice and Jasper spend a lot of time together, too. They are undeniably cute together, perfect. Jasper likes to study philosophy. My poor brother, he still finds it incredibly difficult to be around humans - Alice of course makes it easier for him; she mothers over Jasper, helps him. She never judges him and she prevents him from doing anything he might regret. Alice and I spend a great deal of time together, actually. We bond over shopping and fashion and sometimes we go to the movies together, just the two of us. It’s easy because the theatre is dark. We always hunt before being in confined spaces with humans. That’s another way Alice and I bond, we hunt together quite frequently. Jasper & Emmett tend to have an instinct to head for the hills when Alice and I go shopping together. The good thing about being vampires, though, is that we are incredibly patient. When the guys do come with us, the time goes by so quickly for them that it’s not completely unbearable like it might be for a human. Edward is still the same. Unchanging.Very lifeless in some ways - no pun intended. He prefers his own company. I feel sorry for him and have tried many times in the past to help him, but how can I help someone who won’t help themselves? Edward is set in his ways and it’s not just us noticing this, but the humans too. Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Edward and I are going to high school in Forks, Washington. Emmett and I are in our last year of high school. We are currently talking about moving away from Forks after we finish here. We have a house in Africa and Emmett wants whatever I want, whatever makes me happy - so it should not take too long to decide. Of course, its a great distance from our family. It’s easier to keep in contact with the invention of cell phones and internet. Although it seems like lately, every time Emmett gets a new cell phone, he breaks it, crushes it in his hand by accident. I don’t mind high school. I enjoy seeing all the girls self-esteem drop ten points when they see how beautiful I am. It’s quite amusing to see their reactions, particularly that of Jessica Stanley. She is such an annoying little pest, always fawning over my brother Edward. She stopped crushing on him when she finally realized that he was ignoring her and moved onto some Newton guy. I know I sound cold and detached, but humans worry about the most insignificant things. Crushes, which girls look prettier than they do… etc. There are more important things to be concerned with, really. I guess even I had to be become an immortal to realize that myself. I can see Jessica for what she is, though. She is a social climber. She will do anything to become popular and get noticed. I won’t let anyone use my brother, especially not her. She just wants to be with the guy every other girl in school wants to be with to prove she’s the best. Now that I have you up to speed, let me tell you about today. I have become greatly infuriated. It started at school when some human called Edward “emo”. (Emo is an informal word used to describe expressions. In this case, it means he is emotional and it’s often used as an insult). I quickly sorted that human out and asked him kindly not to insult my brother… ever again. Then I heard some boys talking about a new girl in school. Her name is Isabella Swan I believe - the Police Chief’s daughter. The entire morning all I heard was gossip and whispers about her. It was weird for me to be out of the spotlight. Everyone used to talk about me and fawn over me. I must admit, I was quite curious to see this Swan girl. Finally, the bell for lunch went off and the five of us walked to the lunch room together. Unfortunately the world has not changed enough to serve animal blood as an option in the cafeteria, but we go there just to keep up pretences. Emmett and I walked in first. I held his hand and walked with my usual confidence. My monkey man was beside me and that’s my number one source of confidence. On the way to our table I saw her…the Swan girl. I didn’t see what the big deal was, at all. She seemed rather plain to me. Emmett and Edward began to chatter amongst themselves. I looked to Alice and Jasper and they seemed to be perfectly happy amongst themselves chatting away, so I chose to think about my own brilliance. I heard Emmett ask Edward what the new girl thought about us and I have to admit I was excited to hear Edward’s response. It’s always interesting hearing what the humans think of us. I watched Edward’s reaction carefully. He seemed confused. “This is not good,” he finally answered. “I can’t hear her thoughts.” He began to look annoyed more than anything. I was literally shocked - that has never happened before, that I know of. Edward always heard everyone’s thoughts, always. His gift never failed… until today. I quickly built up my wall around Edward just like I always did. I hid my thoughts from him, by thinking of myself. School finally finished and when we got to the car, Edward seemed strange. He was eager to go. He stopped the car at the path to our home and told us to get out in a less than friendly tone. I was confused and concerned about Edward. We got out like he asked, and he sped off. Alice told us everything, though. She had a vision of Edward standing in Swan girls kitchen. The Swan girl was dead with no blood left in her. My poor brother. I asked Alice where Edward was, and she told me he was heading to see the Denali’s in Alaska. I just don’t understand how he could react so badly to this Swan girl. She looks plain and her scent, well… it’s a little appealing. I don’t like this Swan girl and she is going to be trouble for us. I can just feel it. I am going to go now, I want to call Edward. Hopefully this time he will answer me, but knowing him, he won’t. Like I said a thousand times, he has no tact, but still he is my brother and I have to try. Wish me luck . ~Rosalie Hale Date: March 23rd, 1951
Dearest Diary We have returned to our home, much to my horror. Emmet has tried to reassure me that all will be well, but I refuse to leave here and visit with Carlisle and Esme and the rest of my family. I am sure that Alice’s visions have shown her what I did on my honeymoon, how I broke all the rules. I can imagine Jasper’s and Edward’s reactions, quiet and judgemental. I feel so terrible, that I’ve let the family down. I even tried to get Emmet to run away with me and go start a new life far away, but he just said “no, all will be well, no-one is going to judge you or punish you more than you are already doing to yourself. Also it would hurt Esme very much if we did that.” I sighed, wishing that he was right. We sat in the living room in our home noticing how all the damage we had created here had been fixed up good as new again. Emmet was continually nudging and encouraging me to go and visit with the family, but I was so thoroughly embarrassed and ashamed of myself I didn’t think I’d ever be ready to face them again. Emmet asked if I would be okay here on my own that he wanted to go and see the family and I told him to go. I stayed on my own for most of the day and evening and sat out on the roof to look at the stars again, watching as they dazzled in the sky. I noticed a sweet and familiar scent, Esme coming towards me. She joined me on the roof and asked me how I was. I lied and said “fine.” I thanked her for fixing up our house again and then we both fell into a eerie silence. Both of us waiting for the other to speak. I finally got so nervous I asked what was taking Emmet so long. “He’s gone hunting with the others,” she said. “I asked him to go with the others without me, so I could come and talk to you on my own.” I was sad that Esme knew the truth and was deeply ashamed, too. I got a surprise when Esme put her arm around my shoulders and pulled me in for a strong hug. “I suppose Alice had a vision about what I did and told you all about it,” I said shamefully. “No, it was Emmet, he’s so worried about you, he thought you could use a Mother to talk to so here I am ,” Esme said soothingly. “Oh,” I said, embarrassed that Emmet would think that, it should be me mothering him after all I am two years older than him. I told Esme everything I was hiding and holding back, the whole story, from start to finish and then I cringed in front of her waiting for her judgement. But again, to my surprise, Esme apologized to me. She said she had no idea how much I was suffering. She hugged me tighter to her and I relaxed for the first time in what seemed like ages then rested my head on her shoulder. I looked back at my human memories, which were the strongest ones. Unlike the rest of my family, I refused to let them go. I held onto my anger towards Royce and his friends. I remembered my first impression of my vampire family, my original memory of Esme and how childish my reactions were to her. She will always be ten times the woman I will ever be. “If I had to redo my life over I would have dumped Royce and found someone better to marry and been there for my mother to save her from dying from a broken heart - and my father too,” I finally admitted. I told Esme how bad I felt, how conflicted I felt, how I loved Emmet more than I have ever loved anything in my life including myself but still I would trade him with all my heart for one more chance at being human again. I realized how selfish this made me look, but it is the way I feel. “It is understandable to feel that way but life doesn’t always work the way you want it to,” she said, quietly. I stayed close to Esme. She was sweet and comforting and always knew the right things to say. I wanted to be like her in so many ways and I took the plunge and told her so. “You don’t have to change at all, you already changed so much when you became a vampire,” Esme responded, her golden eyes piercing through mine. I didn’t understand what she meant and looked at her puzzled, so she continued, noticing my confusion. “I know what you thought of me when you first became one of us. Edward told me everything, but don’t worry I don’t hold it against you,” she half smiled lovingly, and I frowned. “When you were human, you were a selfish and shallow princess who only cared about yourself and no-one else. Then you became a vampire and committed very violent acts against Royce and his friends and while it was wrong, I do understand why you did it. But then you found Emmet and had him changed and it was his love that influenced you to become the lovely person you are now,” she paused and looked down, gathering her thoughts. I opened my mouth to speak, but not words came out - so she continued. “You have matured with Emmet and blossomed into a beautiful woman on the outside as well as the inside, too. I don’t care about your past only your present and future. I consider you to be my daughter now and we are bonded, not by blood, but by venom,” Esme finished. I stared at her in awe. I never realised just how important Esme was to this family. She was the glue that kept them all together and she loved me as if I, too, were her real daughter. I felt blessed to have a place in the family, to be part of her life. I hugged Esme tightly to me and she stroked my hair. “Thank you,” I breathed at her, smiling. “Come,” she said. “The others will want to see you once they return from their hunting. Alice will not tell her vision to anyone -I have already asked her not to,” Esme promised. I breathed a sigh of relief. I knew that Emmet wouldn’t speak about it, either. I need to go now. I’m to go be with my family. Rosalie Cullen |
InfoRosalie Lillian Hale In 1933, Rosalie was transformed into a vampire by Carlisle Cullen after being raped and beaten to the brink of death by a group of drunken men, including her fiancée Rosalie's diary is written by Martin. Fan Page
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