Topic: The day after death day… I think of yesterday and the events that brought us to it and all I see is death… so many families destroyed, innocent lives taken and all the broken families from the victims of Victoria’s wrath… there was no real victory yesterday… only loss.
Date: Saturday, June 16th, 2006 Dearest Diary, It has been near a month since my last entry; I haven’t really been in the mood to confide in you... I left you distraught and shaken because of Emmett’s confrontation with the stupid flea bitten mongrels. To this day I am still shaken by it, and if it wasn't for my family I don’t know what I would do… perhaps I do, but do not wish to face it. Of course Bella and Edward returned from Florida. Edward immediately found out what happened and he must have read one of my family member’s minds because he looked shocked when he looked at me, our eyes connected for a moment both golden, and although his was slightly darker he must have been thirsty. Edward opened that mouth of his for a moment “go hunt Edward… I have nothing to say” I spoke and turned my back on him walking out of our home. Emmett followed me and we went to that little cottage that was abandoned and run down, Emmett had called to me trying to get me to respond, but what could I do… what could I say to Edward… It was his selfish desire to have Bella that put my family in danger repeatedly. Emmett grabbed my wrist and stopped me and I turned to face him, he smiled that beautiful and mischievous smile of his and he hugged me. He told me I had to let go of this pain and fear I had, we both knew letting go was something i was incapable of, it was in my nature to hold onto everything in the past I tried many times to let go, but I never could. The only comfort the only thing that kept me functioning and kept me going was Emmett…I worship him and value him above all else. Wrapping my arms around him I apologized and I wished with all my heart he could understand how I felt…that he could see every inch of my soul and know one hundred percent of what I am feeling…just so he could understand why I was so freaked out and furious at Edward and Bella. I just needed some distance from my brother, Emmett and I spent that time in solitude spending the time in each other’s arms. The silence between us was comfortable, I felt perfectly safe. Gradually my emotions began to become more stable, Emmett’s touch each passing second he had me in his arms I was filled with an intoxicating…sensation of love, the way he stroked my forearms the way his soft lips slowly touched my cheeks, I unleashed a soft sigh of bliss. Emmett deserved much better than myself, he deserved to be with someone who wasn't so self centered so narcissistic like myself…I was unworthy of him and yet he settled for me…he chose me….The way Emmett comforts me, he is always there for me and he never asks for a single thing in return I wish I could be the woman he deserved. Emmett and I eventually returned home, where Edward and I faced each other, he apologized to me and I acted surprised, and asked him why and he answered for Emmett getting caught in the crossfire yesterday. Of course I acted shallow and my response sickened even myself “why would I worry about Emmett, he is a big boy he can take care of himself, what tick’s me off is you go all the way to Florida and you don’t bring me a single present not even a snow globe” I didn't know why I acted shallow, it was clear he saw the events that happened yesterday from everyone’s mind and perspective, he knew the truth…yet I didn't want him to see mine. I didn't want Edward inside my head knowing my thoughts including the one that I was ashamed of the one where I thought about killing Bella if Emmett died because of her. Edward watched me, I didn't know if he was actually trying to read my thoughts or not, but just to be safe I thought about fake thoughts of outrage at having no gifts…I just wish I could explain why I did this, I tried yet words give it no justice the importance of privacy in my own head is very important to me. While Edward and I watched each other I asked him why he didn't go hunting and he told me he could wait until Friday, so it wouldn't arouse suspicion at school. Friday came by very fast nothing eventful happened, Edward went hunting Bella went off to visit Jacob. It was on the following Thursday on the 31st to be more precise that Alice decided to kidnap Bella after her work and bring her over as a guest. I had spent my day under my red shiny convertible, the thought of Bella coming over that night had angered me, the very image of her pale complexion, her long straight dark brown hair and chocolate brown eyes angered me. I thought it was too soon for myself to be around her, as I repaired my convertible that day I wondered how would I act towards her, how would my behavior reflect on my family this time…when I finished the repairs I left the garage and went to the bathroom, and examined my reflection my statuesque body, my elegant figure I remembered smiling into the mirror it was a forced smile, because at that moment I didn't feel happy at all. Looking at my fabulously pale and flawless skin and my attire that at that moment were blue overalls with fresh oil stains I still thought I was beautiful. I remembered just how childish I was when I spoke to myself and spoke “mirror mirror on the wall who was the most beautiful of them all….what’s that?, I am the most beautiful of them all, I knew it.” It was at that moment I had an idea, and just as my idea formulated Alice opened the bathroom door and spoke “we get it you’re the most beautiful of all” I asked Alice what she wanted and she made me promise her not to be cruel to Bella while at the sleepover and I promised her I wouldn't…I had other things in mind…I planned to tell Bella the truth about my past, the time was right. Edward had purchased a bed for Bella to sleep on in advance and when Bella came over, I watched her and Alice, it was Bella I was particularly fixated on, I sat in the corner watching her and writing in on a piece of paper my reason’s for her staying human, once she had enough I decided it was my time to strike. I never wanted to break my brother’ heart, but I never wanted this human to loose out on all the wondrous possibilities of life. I knocked on her door that night and she told me to enter, after entering I could see the confusion on her face and she smiled nervously, we had some small talk and I sat on her bed, looking at her…you don’t understand how difficult this was for me to open myself up to this human of all people…but she was the one I was trying to save. “Do you want to hear my story Bella? It doesn't have a happy ending but which of ours does? If we had happy endings, we’d be under gravestones now.” I spoke to her softly. So I told her the truth…my past, how I thought I had love and how mistaken I was when Royce King and his friends stole my innocence and purity…how I wished for death, only to have Carlisle mutilate my body with his venom and condemn me to eternal thirst and suffering for the selfish reason of me becoming Edwards would be mate. Bella’s face looked expressionless like she had just experienced shock…like my story had made her numb, but then her face looked slightly green as if she looked like she would be sick, I gave her my reasons to remain human afterwards and left her to think about it. I wondered if Edward would be mad at me, but then again I didn't care. I had left the house to go to the balcony and climb the roof where from there I watched the stars. Apart from all this drama with Bella and Edward, my family has been worried sick about the newborn army in Seattle, we had a feeling it would be up to us to sort it out, but it should have been the Volturi’s problem this is why they are the rulers to keep the laws. Jasper had decided that Bella needed to know the truth about his past and told her of the newborn army and the war he was in, while that happened we had asked our cousin’s the Denali for help, but they refused us because Irena was involved with Laurent whom was murdered by the mutts at La Push. We were truly alone, our family and allies had turned their backs on us because of Bella even if it was indirectly her fault it would never have come to this if she wasn’t a part of our lives in the first place. It wasn’t like I could say this out in the open, after all Edward gets a little testy when it comes to “I told you so.” It wasn’t until the graduation party that everything became clear and to my amazement Bella figured it all out, the newborn army was being created by Victoria and that meant the army would be coming for Bella once again putting those I treasure at risk, I was greatly worried about the outcome of the newborn army…we were severely out numbered after all it was seven vampires against an overwhelming number…it was to my surprise that the mutt patrol and Carlisle forged an alliance. We would be working together to destroy the newborns. Esme had pulled me aside sometime after the formation of the alliance between us and told me that she thought it would be best I kept away from the mongrels and I agreed as long as Emmett stayed close to me…I did not trust these flea infested mutts as far as Bella could throw them. Alice had eventually come up with a vision that the newborn would attack on Friday the 15th...the family had a meeting when Bella wasn’t around we spoke about the newborn army and we agreed the newborns had to be killed and I looked down and closed my eyes tilting my head at an angle, I knew what this meant for me….I would become a murderer, my record for seven kill counts would increase dramatically…I would be killing those who have lost everything, and would soon loose what little life they had left. Edward asked me if I had a problem I looked at him with sorrow in my eyes “no” I lied, and I turned to walk out of the house Edward left me alone. It was the day before yesterday, exactly one day before the fight I thought I could get away, to think about my fears alone when Emmett followed me, into the forest “Rose” he called, I looked back and smiled as I turned to face him the wind blew against me, he could see past my fake smile like he always could and asked what’s wrong. I didn’t want to talk about it and leaned in to kiss him on the lips and he kissed me back and he gently lowered me onto the luscious green grass and undressed me slowly, and I him…we laid beside each other until I climbed on top of him and sat on his bare chest, my hand gently rubbed along his chest. As I looked down at him and I saw that beautiful face I fell in love with, those dimples that amazing smile I leaned down a little and smiled my hair had fallen on my face and Emmett’s gentle hand came up to my face and he wiped my hair out of the way and his hand stroked my cheek and I leaned down to kiss him on the lips, we kissed passionately loosing ourselves in passion as we made love, we have made love many times before this, but something about this time had felt different it’s hard to put my hand on why this time it was different. Afterwards we laid together side by side my hand across his chest as his arm held me close, we said nothing at all. I remembered wondering, would this be the last time we made love together, would this be the last time we would embrace in silence and feel as if we had one heart and soul…I wish I could be like Emmett…to stop stressing and worrying about this, and just go with the flow, but that isn't who I am. Emmett and I never did return to the house, we instead met up at the clearing with the family…minus Edward, and the mutts joined us. We waited in silence our future unknown and in the balance…not even Alice could give us an outcome all because of the mongrels and their factor. The one whom attacked Emmett had looked at Emmett and myself and I could see the disgust in his eyes, I didn’t care I let out a low hiss and he bared his teeth, I almost wanted to say “bring it on, this time no one would come to save you” Of course that wouldn't be very productive so I kept my mouth shut. I was afraid, the newborns came into sight and I reached out for Emmett’s hand and held it tight I was struggling to breathe for a moment, even though oxygen wasn’t a necessity for me, I still enjoyed it. “I made you a promise Rose…remember and I never break my promises” my eyes widen a little as I remembered how he promised he would never leave me after the mutt tried to hurt Emmett…I came back to my senses and nodded “I love you Emmett…now and a thousand years from now....” I whispered, he smiled “well of course you do, I'm god’s gift to women” I unleashed a low combination of a sob and laughter and looked back towards the newborns. Letting go of Emmett’s hand I ran towards them and committed my eighth murder…I killed the emotions in my heart and become a void of death, I killed newborn vampires one after another while looking out for my own life, I kept an eye on Emmett and Emmett alone…he was my priority The battle was difficult the newborns were so young some of them were teenagers, but eventually we disposed of all, but one…Esme and Carlisle offered her immunity for her surrender, I looked at the female. as she struggled with her thirst especially once Bella arrived to the scene, the girl was young a teenager around the age of fifteen or sixteen, she was slender with dark hair that went down to her chin, her eyes were red and her skin glittered from the sunlight. She curled into a small ball beside the flames her arms wrapped around her legs, she fixated on Bella. I don’t know why, but once Carlisle and Esme offered immunity I thought about adopting the girl. Teaching her how to be a vampire, how to survive on animal blood and raise her as my own after all the girl needed a family…and I always wanted a child. The Volturi came, the sadist known as Jane with a few other members of the guard, Jane interrogated the newborn to where we learned everything with Victoria’s involvement and how the girl’s name was Bree, I allowed myself to think about adopting Bree getting ahead of myself, it was all so very exciting, until Jane ordered Felix to destroy Bree “no” I let out in an utter whisper that was ignored by all, watched in horror as Felix ripped Bree apart. I couldn’t look anymore and buried my face in Emmett’s chest; he placed one hand at the back of my head stroking it to comfort me. I sobbed silently, after the encounter everyone left the clearing. I too left, but instead of going home I drove to town and bought a bouquet of flowers and returned to the clearing. I stood there quietly; Emmett joined me of course he was always at my side. Emmett had his arm around my shoulders “how many” I asked quietly Emmett had said nothing at first “I don’t understand babe” he responded and I closed my eyes “how many people must die for Edward and Bella’s love” I spoke bitterly, Emmett stammered “Rose” he whispered softly, but I didn’t give him the chance to finish “James may have got what was coming to him and Laurent too…but what about all the people we murdered here today Emmett…all these people died here today, because of Bella and Edward…their love has brought casualties to sixteen people not including Victoria. Sixteen families were broken Emmett, their lives ruined because of Victoria’s desire for revenge…and can we honestly blame her Emmett…Edward killed James because of Bella” I told him with pain. “So what were we meant to do Rose…let James kill Bella” he asked back defending Edward “no Edward should have kept his distance, He should never have brought Bella to the clearing if he didn’t James would never have picked up Bella’s scent and this spiral of death would have been avoided…Edward’s selfishness has brought a cycle of death that resulted in sixteen broken families of innocent people…sixteen innocent lives were destroyed here Emmett…How many more must die so Edward and Bella can be together…Emmett don’t you get it, their love is anointed on the blood of the innocent…sixteen innocent lives were destroyed because of their love” I spoke with anger trying to verbalize how I felt, which is very difficult, because I was confused and an emotional wreck. Emmett hugged me from behind for a moment and kissed my neck, he was comforting me, I broke out of his grip “I decided Emmett… I don’t have the strength to fight this carnage any longer…Bella has chosen the path she wants’ to walk and I can no longer block it…all I can do now is hope that she changes her mind.” Emmett told me that it was a good idea and suggested we go home and be with the family, at first I bent over to the spot where the slime bag murdered the poor newborn “Bree…you suffered so much, and had so much taken from you…May you find peace where ever you are now” I spoke quietly lowering the bouquet of flowers I turned from it and walked to Emmett he wrapped an arm around my waist and together we walked home and once we made it there I excused myself from my family explaining I wished to relax in the bath and wash my hair, truth was I secretly wanted to come and confide in you and catch you up on what was going on. ~Rosalie Hale Author's Note: I Just wanted to make a note, that during the romantic Emmett and Rose scene in the forest I was inspired by a thousand years by Christina Perri I was listening to the song when I wrote that part. So if you wanted to feel the intimacy of that scene listen to the song.
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InfoRosalie Lillian Hale In 1933, Rosalie was transformed into a vampire by Carlisle Cullen after being raped and beaten to the brink of death by a group of drunken men, including her fiancée Rosalie's diary is written by Martin. Fan Page
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