Dear Diary,
I find myself often questioning my intelligence and my sanity, I mean I know I am stupid and worthless and not worth a single dollar, I am not as smart as those my age, I mean they're all genius' compared to me. I get the lowest grades in my class . I mean I try and I try, but I just fail at everything. I am completely useless. By the way I describe my intelligence you are probably wondering how am I questioning my intelligence when I am calling myself stupid. What I mean by questioning my intelligence is I am questioning that I am afraid that I am stuck in one big delusion that revolves around my intelligence,. What if I am crazy, What if I see myself as an idiot with normal intelligence, but in reality my intelligence is at level of mental retardation and I am just delusional trapped in a mental prison of the mind. So you can see now how I am questioning my intelligence, I mean here I am, I could think I am a perfectly normal person living in today’s world, when in reality I am just this stupid person saying stupid things and drawing attention onto myself, Do you have any idea what it's like to question your intelligence, question your sanity and question the very fabric of my reality. Some questions that goes through my mind What if I am not saying this ? What if I said or did something worse than what I did? What if this is not happen? So many questions plague me. I have more than those questions and I am probably not alone in having questions, I bet everyone has it, but these questions I have I can not bare, I mean I am 17 years old and I have never been in love & most of the time I feel completely numb, I don't feel joy, the only thing I do feel is sadness. I spend a lot of my time not thinking about the sadness I listen to music or read. I am going to go now, I need to do some homework ~Faith
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InfoFaith Summers is a bird in a cage, always watching those around him experiance love, laughter, joy, life and freedom. Join faith as he unlocks his cage and takes flight searching for his own path, his own life and the meaning of it. Faith's diary's author wishes to remain anonymous. Click here to read first entryArchives |