July 15, 1926 I was going to spend a few moments jotting down a few things and I noticed that my last entry abruptly ended without further information ever being added. I know exactly what happened and I remember the time with an ache in my mind. I believe if my heart were beating it would be a pain I could not endure. I have had patients try to explain pain to me. Both kinds of pain. The physical and the heartfelt. I am in one part glad that I feel neither. But still I see…. the expressions of grief. The evidence of using liquor and anger to distract one from the awful torment of pain. I do what I can and sometimes it is still not enough… I fought so hard to save the child, and in the end it wasn’t enough. Sometimes it is never enough. Sometimes, I feel so useless. This is the time I am grateful for a heart that doesn’t beat. I am secure in my knowledge that I can keep my “family” with me, safe because of who we are. I cannot imagine my life without them. Time passes rather quickly for us. It seems that those who walk on the edges of darkness, where wars are fought, physical and mental, the time either passes quickly or so slowly that it doesn’t seem to move at all. It is those moments that often stand out in the mind. To be replayed over the years. Sometimes as nightmares and sometimes as moments you would relive over and over. December 12, 1924 is a day I will remember for eternity. It is forever etched as the day my world righted, inside me that is. What was it that little girl said? “color it happy?” Esme certainly has a gift for coloring everything around her happy. I think she carries so much love with her that it overflows and runs rivers of happiness wherever she goes. She is the heart and soul of this family. In her I find my sunshine. Her loves warms me. She completes me. I sat at my desk, absently scanning through the new medical reference I had received from a friend. He had relocated to Europe some time back. “I hope this book reaches you. I also have within me high hopes that all is well with you and your lovely family. I know how much you enjoy learning new material. While I was browsing through the local market the other day I spied a shop. I saw this book in the window and I immediately thought of you.” The note was all that accompanied the book. No return address or name. I smiled to myself. That was Charles. A very dedicated man of science. Loyal, so determine to find a cure for every disease known to man. I hope someday he does just that. I closed the book and set it aside. Listening intently, I heard Edward moving things around in the garage/ storage building. Apparently Esme needed more storage room. I smiled, just thinking of her. My ears searched further… ahhh the garden. I heard the tool scraping across the dirt. I rose to my feet and was across the room in a flash. Of course she heard me coming and as I crossed the patio, she rocked back on her heels and greeted me with a smile. “Carlisle! How nice to see you out here.” There was a twinkle in her eyes. “ I’m sorry Esme. I’ve been neglecting you and Edward lately and I do apologize” I frowned and continued “ I should not have treated either of you that way.” I brightened, finishing, “But everything is under control now and if it ever happens again, please remind me where my place really is.” Esme rose gracefully to her feet. Heavens above, the woman is utterly anaware of her beauty and the effect it has on me. I do believe I was speechless, frozen in place. She calmly walked to where I stood and bless her, she looked up at me with those amazing eyes and agreed. “Of course I will. I could remind you every day if you wish. But Carlisle, what would you have me say? Shall I make you a schedule like you have at the hospital? So that you have a time to be here? Are we supposed to be penciled into your daily routine? Was that pain in her eyes? Hurt in her voice? I thought anger was lingering somewhere as well. This could be difficult and hurt was the last thing I wanted her to feel. Edward strolled into sight at that moment and stated “yes,” a bare pause let me know he was cluing me that indeed she was hurt as well as angry. “I need to go hunt, I will return soon.” He disappeared as soon as ther words left his mouth. Mercy, I thought. Was I that blind? Could I have been so self absorbed? Well, I had my work cut out for me. This was not going to be easy. Esme started gathering her gardening tools. I took them from her and as we walked to put them away, I asked about her day. It seemed that the right time never came for me. I would always be the one for whom things must be decided and then carried out when the moment presented itself. Seems that moment is here. Most of my best moments in life occurred when I simply reacted to the situation before me. And they were always the right ones. For me, that is. I had hopes this would be the best yet. I set her tools on the workbench and turned. She was staring at me, questions burning in her eyes. “Is something wrong, Carlisle?” she asked. “Did I offend you with my words?” “Yes, something is very wrong. I only hope that I can correct it.” I replied. I guided her back to the patio, noting the startled almost frightened expression. “Please, give me time to explain myself” I implored. “Trust me for a few more minutes. I think you will understand soon. I lead her to a bench and gently encouraged her to sit for me. She looked ready to bolt. What, I wondered had I done to scare her? I wanted to pace, gather my thoughts, do this so that in my mind, at least it sounded somehow correct. But I knew that if I let go of her she would be gone, I would have a hard time catching her and she might never listen then. It would also be tragic. For me that is. I looked down into the beautiful, confused face of the woman I loved and took courage. “ Esme,” I said, as I knelt before her. I needed to be able to look her in the face as I begged her to forgive me. I gently took hers hands, not only to keep her in place but I needed to touch her. “You must think me a horrid, blind, selfish man. I am so very sorry. You have been so wonderful, taking care of the house, Edward me, and then the work you do posing as my “wife”. I swear, I am so humbled by the sheer happiness that you bring to this home. I do not know how I have ever lived without it. You brighten everything you touch, the places you have been. Just by the love and unselfish generosity you share with others.” I paused, seeing that she was starting to get more nervous by the word. Uh oh, was this a bad sign? I gently let go of one of her hands and lifted her face back so that I could see her eyes. I implored her “Please, let me finish. I am afraid this is not coming out correctly. Try to understand. I need you to hear this. Please. I wanted to set a moment, a stage if possible, to make it special for you. But I see that I have scared you. I am sorry. Maybe I was premature in this. However, I have begun and I will see this through if you will hear me out? A frown appeared, but she simply continued to look me in the eye. I took a deep breath and I swear her eyes suddenly grew in size until they were saucers. Her mouth form a small “o” of surprise. Finally, I had her attention. “Esme “ I began, a formal tone in my voice. My smile gentled the tone just enough. “I realize your “husband” never treated you as a man should. That is all I will say about him other than I would never treat another human that way. You have lived with us long enough to know that at least. However, I can not continue with things as they are now any longer.” pressure against my fingers, she wanted to stare at the ground again. Would I be able to do this? I refused to let her shift her head. She once again raised her eyes, and I soldiered on, “Esme, forgive me. For not being home more. For neglecting you and Edward. I have no excuse. I am sorry.” I let my tone and expression convey the truth of my words. I think I saw a little disappointment cross her features. Good. Now if I can find the right words. “Wait Esme, I am not finished.” I took both her hands once again holding maybe a little too tightly, as her face gathered more confusion and the frown deepened. I took a really deep breath and began the most important words of my life. “ Esme. I. Love. You.” my breath puffed out and a gentle smile came over her face. “I have loved you for some time now and I wanted to give you time. I thought you needed time to get accustomed to this life, to us, before I told you that. You needed to be able to decide for yourself. You might have decided to go your own way. I would certainly understand, of course.” I was rambling, I realized. Rushing. Almost stumbling over the words I was pouring out. And it looked like she would soon be laughing. “I am not doing a very good job of this am I?” She shook her head, her shoulders were almost shaking with her amusement. “Esme, I simply will not wait another day to find out .. wait that is wrong. Esme, I have never told anyone that I loved them before. I am finding out how hard this is for men. I love you and I will always love you. I lay my heart before you. It is yours. You may do with it as you will. I love you and I would be the happiest, most grateful man in the world if you would do me the honor of becoming my wife. Not for pretend. My real wife. I humble myself before you. I am yours to do with as you will.” I was surprised by the look that was crossing her face. “Carlisle,” her smile gentled, her hands left mine to cup my face. “You know that you don’t have to marry me. I would stay anyway. I didn’t know that you loved me until this very moment. You could have saved yourself some misery, you know.” What? Is this how men get let down? Now the frown was mine. And I was feeling like I wanted to run. I would see this through, though. I needed to know how things stood. If she wanted things to remain as they were, it would work. Somehow. I would make it work. I needed to be able to see her. Everyday. The smile on her face grew till it was almost as big as the moon when it was at it’s fullest. Humor was still evident in her face. But to her credit, she never let it saturate her voice. “Carlisle, quit squirming. Has Edward never let you know my feelings? Heavens! Oh my goodness! I never thought you would fall in love with me! I did not even consider it. Oh!” and with those words she launched herself at me. As her arms encircled my neck she said the words that I will forever hear in my mind. I love you, too! I would be honored to be your wife. To be loved by you. I promise to make you the happiest man ever! I think I fell in love with you when I opened my eyes. Yours was the first face I saw. You have shown me nothing but love. I only dreamed of this. Oh my! You love me!” now she was the one rambling. I could get used to this. Her telling me she loved me. The feeling of her in my arms. She grew quiet, got still and drew back to stare at me. When she was sure of my complete attention, she continued in a calm quite voice. “Carlisle Cullen, I promise to love you, be the best wife, mate, friend, lover and companion that you deserve. I will always do my best to make you the happiest man on earth.” And with that said, she gently sealed the deal with a kiss. NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR: This entry was rather long, but sometimes I can’t seem to “put it down”. I promise to try to post a little more often. Soon things around here should be at a place where I can devote more time to my personal interests. I look forward to that. I hope you do, as well. Stay safe, my friends.
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October 23, 1924
A bit of planning, a lot of building and here we are in Rutland, New Hampshire. We found a beautiful piece of property a few miles outside of the town... As usual, it is secluded, a lot of trees. We cleared a nice spot for the house and a large garden. Esme wants to plant vegetables to give to the needy of the town. I don’t know how she plans to accomplish this but she has a way of doing things so I will help when I can. So very much has happened in this year. We have set up our new home, we go out in the town and socialize as we “shop”, and we try to be involved in as many charities as possible. Esme and Edward are once again taking correspondence courses that they complete at night. I, as usual, can be found at the hospital. I even try to work at the free clinic in town whenever I am able. And I travel to nearby communities to help there. It feels almost as if we are normal people, living normal lives. We shop at the local market, attend meetings and events as the weather permits and take drives in the country on weekends. The people accept us as upper class citizens and believe we are from a foreign country. They think we are some royalty exiled to America to save our lives. It is amazing what local gossip can dream into existence. But as long as they stay far from the truth we will let them speculate and continue to spin their tales. They will soon find something else to obsess over. The house we finally built was a large two story that was an interesting combination of Victorian and something else. I couldn’t even begin to put a name to the style other than to say it resembled a castle on the back side and the front was trimmed in a Victorian manner. It was awful, it was beautiful. Esme loved it. Edward merely asked Esme what she was planning for it and as she explained what she wanted, he made it happen. They drew plans, or Esme drew plans, Edward ordered lumber and other supplies, and somehow it became a home. They are working on the interior now. We will all be glad when the floors are sanded and oiled, the walls no longer smell of paint and the furniture is in place. We have been doing one room at a time, but a few days ago, we found ourselves involved in a domestic situation. Esme and I were setting up the paint supplies and Edward was spreading an oil cloth across the floor. He was smiling at something he must have “heard” and he “accidentally” bumped a paint tray. I ended up with paint on my shoes and a streak across my shirt. He took one look and started laughing, winking at me where Esme couldn’t see. I took the hint at once and splattered him with paint. The battle was on. By the time the war was over we were all covered in paint and laughing as we slipped and slid around the room. I am so happy that Esme has begun to come out of the sad depression and unhappiness that haunted her in her past. She is so happy lately. I think I will find a way to surprise her with a gift of some form. A few weeks after the paint party the house was finished. To celebrate we took a very short trip to Concord to spend the day shopping. I decided that we needed a few things that were not available in town. I wanted some books, Edward needed some new clothes, Esme needed clothes, shoes and other items that were unknown to me and I had decided we needed some garden furniture. I had also wanted to visit an art gallery so that Esme could pick out a painting or a sculpture that she liked for the house. I also wanted to go by the jeweler there. I am thinking about asking Esme to marry me. We introduce ourselves as a married couple and Edward is her brother. She doesn’t act like it bothers her. At times, it seems she is proud to introduce me as her husband or she shines with happiness when I look at her. I hope I am not imagining this. I really would ask Edward what her thoughts were but I want to do this as a “normal” man would. I will prepare for the event and court her as she deserves. Edward tried to beg out of the trip, of course, but I wouldn’t let him. It isn’t time for us to be alone just yet, and I would never put Esme in a position she might not feel comfortable with. I have noticed Edward is always smiling or smirking about something these days. This must be how teenagers act. I try to raise my eyebrows and appear questionable, but I know he hears my thoughts and that I am not concerned that he is into anything. He simply knows something I don’t and he is waiting for me to inquire about his knowledge. It isn’t going to happen for a while as I am very busy right now. We had to keep our trip very short and I was unable to shop for anything but the most basic supplies on our list. I really shouldn’t have gone, but I didn’t want to put off the trip as we really needed new clothes. It is important to fit in with the local people. However, I’m afraid my mind was elsewhere during the trip. There is a patient at the hospital that I am very concerned about. I have checked all the medical books I have and I am considering calling a physician that I have worked with in the past. If I thought that there was a chance it would save the child’s life, I would call today. But I know in my unbeating heart it won’t. It is time to get ready for my next shift at work. I will fill you in on the outcome of our trip next time I write. November 14, 1924 I consulted with an old colleague and I’m not really sure what I should do. A patient of mine is in serious condition. He is beginning to lose his ability to breathe. There is a machine that could help, but it is far away from here and extremely expensive. Not to mention, it is experimental and not in use at this time. June 8, 1923
Edward and Esme are getting along really well. He is doing some correspondence from the university and Esme is helping. She is taking a few courses of her own. The house has become a home because of her. There is a certain lift of my spirits when it is time to leave work. Edward is a good companion, but Esme, she brings a new feeling to our lives. I did not realize we weren’t complete in ourselves. I marvel at the change a woman makes for a man. The completeness that comes with the love that is found between us all. We enjoy each other’s company, our discussions lively and sometimes we find that we are just as happy and comfortable in the silence that surrounds us when we are reading or just relaxing in the garden. And the change I feel in myself. A softening inside that seems to enhance the compassion I feel for the humans I treat each day at the hospital. I can now understand better the feelings of despair and desperation that I see when a loved one is brought into the hospital sick or dying. I wish I could do more, save more, find a way to end the suffering I see. I spend my days studying the newest medical information, new instruments and medicines that have been invented. That doesn’t take long and leaves time to notice the small improvements around the house. The furniture has been rearranged, Esme has hung a few paintings she found in the cellar and the house smells sweeter. It may be the flowers she has placed in every container she can find and place on any surface with a bare spot. It’s very… welcoming. After a shift at the hospital, I find myself eager to leave the work I love just to be near Esme. The feelings I have for her are hard to define right now. I am somewhat surprised to find myself falling in love with her. She hasn’t had time to enjoy herself as a woman free to live her life as she wants and I want so much for her. She deserves to be treated like a queen. She is so selfless, eager to please yet there is a side of her that remains timid and on rare occasions she has appeared scared. The first time she searched the catalogues for some clothes and other things a woman needs, I had to order the simpler things she denied herself. It was as if I would be angry over the amount of money or the number of dresses or a hairbrush. Was I difficult? I hadn’t thought so. Edward took me aside and explained the thoughts running through Esme’s mind as she bought a wardrobe and the few items for her personal use. I had Edward let me know about the few items she admired but wouldn’t order for herself and we ordered them separately. We actually had a lot of fun ordering all the things that we felt she would enjoy. Shoes and bags that matched certain dresses. Perfumes, lipsticks, hats and I ordered jewelry. Pearls, rubies, emeralds. I brought home magazines for her to examine. Then we would all sit at the dining room table each evening and for “dinnertime” we would talk of places to visit, places we could live for extended periods of time and any other information we felt all of us needed to know. It was during one of these discussions that Edward said we needed to “nail down” a new location for us. People were beginning to talk about us. Just speculating where Esme had come from, and what was a young woman unmarried doing with single men? He suggested we choose a location and we could take a few days to examine the place. A vacation he had told Esme, so she could see if there were any of the houses she liked were in a location that would be acceptable to us. It was an enlightening moment for me. The look on her face when Edward had suggested her finding a house she liked. In that moment, I knew I had fallen completely and totally in love with this woman. How do I describe the look on her face? She was excited over the prospect of a new home. Paint, wallpaper, stripping floors and planting new flowers. She’s happy and that makes me happy. With a little planning, everything will work out for us. She informed Edward and me that if we couldn’t find the perfect house we would buy the land and build. I do believe that my Esme has found a hobby. January 6, 1923
Once I reached home, I went straight to the basement. It had a old sofa, a few odds and ends, a table, and we had recently ran electricity for an overhead light. I laid her gently on the sofa, listening intently to her heart. I wasn’t sure if I had time to save her. I couldn’t explain it to myself, this burning, urgent need to save her. A separate part of my mind was wondering how I would even find the words to make Edward understand how I would do this thing without even counting the cost. Ahh, all good things simple and pure. Looking at her face I silently willed her to survive…… for me. I tilted her head and brushing the long curls aside to reveal her slender neck, I sank my teeth into her flesh. I injected venom into her neck, wrists, ankles and for good measure I ran my tongue over the worst of her wounds, trying to seal the skin where I could. I wanted to try to get as much venom circulating in her bloodstream as possible. She never moved and her heart stuttered with a few rapid beats before returning to the faint almost nonexistent rhythm. I wondered vaguely if she was going to survive. Well, I had done what I could and I had a few things to arrange. I quickly moved upstairs and gathered some bedding. Rummaging through the bathroom cupboard selecting towels, washcloths and a wash basin, I thought for a short moment and remembered a chest in the attic, and silently went to the attic to investigate…….ahhh, yes…. clothes from a former owner of the house. I found a few woman’s garments and thought it was certainly a sign of good fortune that they looked close to her size. What was her name? What had occurred that caused her to be hurt so badly? So many questions. I gathered a few articles of clothing and made my way back to the bathroom to collect the rest of the stuff I had already set aside. As I reached the kitchen, Edward was entering the back door. He knew (having listening to my thoughts as he approached the house) that there was a human, an injured human in the house somewhere. He also knew after only a second what I had planned. Edward expressed some displeasure in my plans but agreed that perhaps it was the only thing I could have done under the circumstances. I could tell the direction of his thoughts by the expression on his face. I tried to explain that I wasn’t sure exactly why I wanted to turn her. I really hadn’t thought to turn anyone except for him. I enjoy Edward’s company. He has a pure heart, responsible and kind. Intelligent, a good person through and through. And I assured him I wasn’t out to create a village of vampires. But something inside me just couldn’t let her die. Not without trying everything. Edward decided to go “hunting” and I could only let him know through my thoughts that I wanted this to work. My mind swimming with different sentences seemingly jumbled but somehow understandable I was sure. Please Edward, understand what I see for us and come home soon. Had I made a terrible mistake? What a wonderful son Edward was. He had doubts, questions of his own, yet he would support me in this. On that I was almost certain. We could work together and it would have a positive outcome. I thought of the next few days, we would have a little time for planning and discussing the future together with or without, depending on her and her own decisions if she survived. Back in the basement with my supplies, I made short work of cleaning the young woman’s wounds, wiping away the dirt and blood. Replacing the torn rags that was the evidence of her recent trauma I realized that she must have been beautiful, her skin pale and soft as a baby’s. Her hair spun silk, a soft brown hanging in soft waves just reaching her shoulders. I couldn’t help but notice being a doctor as I was; her body bore the signs of motherhood. Very recent motherhood, I was sure. Of all that was holy, what had I done? Was there somewhere a family looking for her? The questions worried me. Every scream is like physical pain to me and I apologize over and over as I explain what she is becoming and how she will soon feel. I hope this will help her adjust more quickly. Edward said it helped him believe and adjust faster. The woman woke to her new life and after I explained how I found her and because I simply had to save her….. Well, she had a few moments of difficulty accepting all of it but eventually I took her on her first hunt. She talked of her life; there wasn’t much to tell it seemed. Her parents forced her to marry someone she didn’t really love. He wasn’t much of a husband, I’m thinking. He drank and a few times he hit her. She had a baby and the poor thing tried, but was unable to live for very long. Just a week. She said he struggled to breathe sometimes and wasn’t gaining weight. Why couldn’t she do anything right? I have on occasion wanted to right the wrongs that sometimes happened in the world. I have had to learn to let the wheels of justice turn. Of course, I might make an exception in this man’s case though. How do you justify treating a woman so badly? Did he not see the jewel before him? Esme is her name. She had only wanted to be a teacher. Her baby died, she never loved the man she was forced to marry. So naturally she tried to kill herself . She thought she was a failure. The poor woman jumped from a cliff. She had sunk into such a deep depression I doubt anyone could have helped her. No one would look for her. Her parents moved to Florida right after her wedding, and when the baby died her husband left. If I was agreeable she would much rather stay and be my “housekeeper” while she adjusted to the new life she would be living. After she was comfortable with being who she now was she would decide what to do with herself. I must say, I am amazed at how easily she seems to be settling into being a vampire. December 10, 1922
I have been neglecting my journal. It has been so long since I have written and there is much you need to hear. I don’t know that I could have made it these last long months without Edward. He is quite supportive of my decisions. This time, however, the decisions that I made affected the both of us and I didn’t even stop to consider his thoughts or feelings on the matter. What sort of leader does that make me? I must remember that my actions affect another individual now. However, there was just no time. Edward is a good person, though. His sense of what is right and wrong divided into two categories. The right and wrong of the human world and the right and wrong of the vampire world. Edward is able to fit into both of these worlds without really raising any suspicion. His ability to read minds has enabled us to know if any of my co-workers or the other people we run into start thinking of us as something other than human. We could then leave town. We would research a new area to live in, buy a house, hire the movers, and I would work out a notice. Thus far we had yet to “disappear in the night”. Edward has not started to school, even though we discussed the possibility. I hope to be able to let him do that or maybe let him find employment in a field he could enjoy. Soon. Edward deserves this to happen. But in the meantime I bought him a coupe. It is a few years old, and really……….slow. I think that much like other teenage sons, he will do his homework and in time find a way to make that piece of tin move a little faster. Right now it sits in the carriage house. He has driven it a time or two and is pondering what to do with it. Edward claims it has limitations at he finds annoying. I had time over the last few days to wonder if Edward was coming home to stay, let alone try to do something to the coupe. I believe that I left the last entry a bit prematurely. I was in a hurry to speak with Edward as he had just arrived home from hunting and I had some explaining to do. As I have already stated, he has a strong sense of right and wrong. He was quite upset with me and after stating some displeasure, Edward left. He was gone for a few days and frankly I was worried about what I would do. I did not know if he would come back and I couldn’t go after him. I held some hope that he would at least come back and listen to my explanation before leaving permanently. I am responsible for him and I am not sure that he would be able to continue the vegetarian lifestyle without some support. You see, several months ago, (one year, three months ago to the day to be exact. I am always exact) I covered a shift for a colleague while he and his wife attended the hospital ball. After all, I am a single man and truthfully would rather be practicing medicine than dancing and listening to idle gossip. During the shift I had cause to transport a body to the morgue. As the door swung shut behind me I heard a sound that froze my feet in place and caused my breath to stop. This was the morgue. Was someone playing a cruel joke on someone else? As quickly as I processed that thought, the next one was mentally voiced. Blood, and a lot of it, mingled with dirt, grass, and stone. I smelled moss that grew on the stone close to our hunting spot. And the heartbeat I heard was getting weaker by the minute. WHO had seen this patient? I pushed the stretcher with the now deceased Mr. Kitchens to the side and flitted to the stretcher dripping blood. Pulling back the sheet, I saw the trauma that was certainly a murder or suicide. There was no other explanation for the amount of damage done to this beautiful woman before me. This was the reason for her being in here I was certain. I ran my eyes down her body listing in my mind her injuries. My ears constantly monitoring her heart silently willing it to beat on. I searched the room in the space of three of her heartbeats but found no record of the woman. Someone must have brought her straight here, deciding that she was beyond hope. They would return I was sure to handle paperwork for the mortician later. I had only seconds to make a decision. Wrapping her in a fresh sheet from a linen cart, I raised the window just a little and sniffed the crisp night air. I caught only a trace of human scent, someone had passed by earlier. I raised the window further and with her in my arms. I ran across the ground as fast as I could. I knew no one would see us or hear anything as silent as I was. She wasn’t able to make a sound. September 10, 1921
It has been a few years since I have written in this journal. I have been busy with Edward. I took a few months sabbatical to help Edward adjust to the new lifestyle and handle his parents affairs. My next few entries may seem to jump around as I try to document the events of the last few years. My mind is able to think of many things at once and I tend to try to write of everything that I see , feel or hear. It helps me to write. I sometimes feel overwhelmed with emotion. I have a wonderful life if that is what I live. I thought that training a companion would be extremely difficult. Edward is very ....different from normal humans. Human..., well you understand what I am trying to say. He "heard" the utter compassion and sincerity of my thoughts. I really haven't had to say very much. As soon as the thought forms he responds in kind. I was taken slightly aback until I realized, after the second day that Edward actually was reading my mind. I am anxious to see if it works on the human population. It will be a while before he can control himself for that. Edward has been a delight to have as a son. We have formed a family of sorts with him as my adopted "son" and are living in Ithaca. We were hunting over the weekend and he has expressed a desire to attend school. "I need something to fill to endless space of time, Carlisle. I don't like sitting idle. And besides, it will look a little more normal if I have some direction in my life. With you as my father, I should be following in your footsteps and applying to Harvard as soon as I complete high school. I need to go to school!" "Hmm... I guess that would be the acceptable thing to do, Edward. However, I want you to be content in this life. You should enjoy the "education" you decide to pursue. I guess I need to point out that you aren't going to ever really get a job, though. "Education" is going to be your job, high school or college, it really won't matter which you choose." Back at home, I readied myself for my shift at the hospital. I was concerned that the weather was about to create a problem for me. It was sunny today. The hospital was hosting a week of fundraising. Each day held a different agenda for bringing money into it's coffers. The week ahead had me scrambling for excuses and offering to cover any shirts for the other physicians that wanted to attend some of the functions with their spouses. Luncheons, press conferences, tours, and a gala ball. It was a good thing the other doctors had wives that were involved in each event. Edward accompanied me to the luncheon earlier today, and let me know which doctor didn't have coverage for the ball. I will take care of that later. Edward said he is frantic, his wife so afraid that she won't be able to show her new gown to her friends. He seemed shocked at her thoughts. Edward's parents may have been rich, but you wouldn't have known it from their lifestyle. They much preferred the giving and service that their wealth provided them the opportunity to do. They were also determined to show by example the responsibility they felt to those less fortunate to Edward. Anyway, it seems I will be covering the emergency room later this week. My shift in the emergency room ended with me in a state of total shock. It was a busy night and I spent a fair amount of time in surgery. The last patient I had for the night died. I did all I knew and in the end nothing saved him. (I always question myself during these times). I offered to transport the body to the morgue as I would pass it on the way out of the hospital, and I still needed to sign off on his chart..... I was wondering if an autopsy would need to be performed, the man was all alone with no family, the state would be burying the body. The emergency room was still busy and staff was so short tonight. So, off I went rolling the stretcher down the hall. Reaching the morgue with a few turns down different hallways, I opened the morgue door and pushed the stretcher into the room. Shock rooted me to the floor and I froze in my steps as soon as the door whooshed shut behind me. I will fill you in on what had me paralyzed in shock next time. I need to speak with Edward right now. Carlisle. Diary,
Edward finished his change today and asked me what happened. I explained to him that he is now a vampire and that that his mother came to me three days ago and told me that she knew I what I was and to do anything in my power to help save you. I guess he believed me due to the fact that he stayed and listened to me, without hesitation. I explained to him the rules of being a vampire and the consequences of breaking the rules. I told him I am what other vampires would call a vegetarian vampire since I hunt only animals and have never killed a human. I also told him that in my 255 years of being a vampire his blood is the first human blood I have ever tasted. He did agree to live my lifestyle and stay with me. After explaining everything to him he told me that his throat was starting to burn. So we are to go to Canada and hunt. I must stay with him for now while he is hunting, to make sure he does not go off and start killing humans. Until next time -Carlisle Diary,
Today the mother of a young man who has been infected with the Spanish Influenza came to me and told me that she knows what I am and to do anything in my power to help her son. After much deliberation, being lonely got the better of me that night, and I bit Edward to begin the change. It was hard having to taste his blood. That is something I have never done before, tasting human blood. The mother I was unable to save. I was going to try to save her as well, but while I was busy changing her son she was in the other room and died. I just wanted to let u know what happened today. I will update and let you know what happens when Edward is done with his change. Until next time -Carlisle Diary
It has been quite a while since I last wrote. Aro did calm down after our little argument and let me stay in the castle. I am pretty sure Marcus and Caius had something to do with that. I stayed with them up until 13 years ago. After moving out of Volterra, I moved to Columbus, Ohio and continued to practice medicine. I am now living in Chicago, Illinois and am a overnight doctor. Over the past few years I have been able to perfect my thirst for blood and have no problem what so ever being around it. I am still fairly lonely being by myself. I have met other vampires that want to be friends with me, but do not want to be in a coven with me. I do stay in contact with them. Whenever I want to hunt I go up to Canada and hunt in the woods up there. A virus has broken out and has claimed several million lives already. I have tried to come up with something to help fight the virus but no luck so far. I really do wish I was able to do something to help out the people I treat. I can not deal with watching so many of them die right before my eyes. The people I have been able to save have come back to thank me and tell me how much they appreciate everything I did to make sure they lived to see another day. That is probably the best thing that can happen to me as a doctor. On the other hand when I am not able to save a persons life the family always complains to me and asks me why I was able to save one family’s child and not their own. I explain to them that their child was not brought in fast enough and the virus was already to far along for me to do anything but I still tried. Anyway it's time for me to go hunt now. Until next time -Carlisle Diary
Last time I left off Aro wanted to talk to me. He wanted to talk to me about why I am the way I am, the whole ‘vegetarian’ diet. He wanted to know how I can survive off of animal blood and why I have never tasted human blood. I explained that I never wanted to become a vampire and that I was turned into one while I was hunting down a coven. I told him that the animal blood does not completely satisfy me but it keeps me sustained, and that killing humans would make me a monster and that is not what I want to be. After I explained everything to him he tried talking to tell me that I need to change my ways and start drinking human blood. I told him that there is no way that I will turn on my way of life and kill a human. When he heard me say that he stepped in front of me and told me that if I do not change my ways I will be kicked out of the castle will not be allowed back in. At that point Caius and Marcus came in and told Aro that they need to talk to him. I just hope that everything blows over in the next few days. Until next time Carlisle |
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