June 8, 1923
Edward and Esme are getting along really well. He is doing some correspondence from the university and Esme is helping. She is taking a few courses of her own. The house has become a home because of her. There is a certain lift of my spirits when it is time to leave work. Edward is a good companion, but Esme, she brings a new feeling to our lives. I did not realize we weren’t complete in ourselves. I marvel at the change a woman makes for a man. The completeness that comes with the love that is found between us all. We enjoy each other’s company, our discussions lively and sometimes we find that we are just as happy and comfortable in the silence that surrounds us when we are reading or just relaxing in the garden. And the change I feel in myself. A softening inside that seems to enhance the compassion I feel for the humans I treat each day at the hospital. I can now understand better the feelings of despair and desperation that I see when a loved one is brought into the hospital sick or dying. I wish I could do more, save more, find a way to end the suffering I see. I spend my days studying the newest medical information, new instruments and medicines that have been invented. That doesn’t take long and leaves time to notice the small improvements around the house. The furniture has been rearranged, Esme has hung a few paintings she found in the cellar and the house smells sweeter. It may be the flowers she has placed in every container she can find and place on any surface with a bare spot. It’s very… welcoming. After a shift at the hospital, I find myself eager to leave the work I love just to be near Esme. The feelings I have for her are hard to define right now. I am somewhat surprised to find myself falling in love with her. She hasn’t had time to enjoy herself as a woman free to live her life as she wants and I want so much for her. She deserves to be treated like a queen. She is so selfless, eager to please yet there is a side of her that remains timid and on rare occasions she has appeared scared. The first time she searched the catalogues for some clothes and other things a woman needs, I had to order the simpler things she denied herself. It was as if I would be angry over the amount of money or the number of dresses or a hairbrush. Was I difficult? I hadn’t thought so. Edward took me aside and explained the thoughts running through Esme’s mind as she bought a wardrobe and the few items for her personal use. I had Edward let me know about the few items she admired but wouldn’t order for herself and we ordered them separately. We actually had a lot of fun ordering all the things that we felt she would enjoy. Shoes and bags that matched certain dresses. Perfumes, lipsticks, hats and I ordered jewelry. Pearls, rubies, emeralds. I brought home magazines for her to examine. Then we would all sit at the dining room table each evening and for “dinnertime” we would talk of places to visit, places we could live for extended periods of time and any other information we felt all of us needed to know. It was during one of these discussions that Edward said we needed to “nail down” a new location for us. People were beginning to talk about us. Just speculating where Esme had come from, and what was a young woman unmarried doing with single men? He suggested we choose a location and we could take a few days to examine the place. A vacation he had told Esme, so she could see if there were any of the houses she liked were in a location that would be acceptable to us. It was an enlightening moment for me. The look on her face when Edward had suggested her finding a house she liked. In that moment, I knew I had fallen completely and totally in love with this woman. How do I describe the look on her face? She was excited over the prospect of a new home. Paint, wallpaper, stripping floors and planting new flowers. She’s happy and that makes me happy. With a little planning, everything will work out for us. She informed Edward and me that if we couldn’t find the perfect house we would buy the land and build. I do believe that my Esme has found a hobby.
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