Diary,
We finally got the call from the resort, it is going to cost a lot of money but we can get half of the mountain. Of coarse no amount of money is too much for us; sometimes we even have to give away large amounts because we run out of room for it all. We will be leaving for our trip on the 20th, which gives me plenty of time to get ready. Rosalie and I went shopping to get new things for my trip. She loves shopping with me and helping me pick things out. She gets shy with the lingerie though. Which I find adorable, things will change when she meets that special guy. I can not wait till we get to plan her wedding and her honeymoon. One day the tables will turn and I will be helping her pick out lingerie. We picked out so many lovely things. The only thing we forgot to shop for was ski clothing. Good thing the cold doesn’t bother us, and we have the mountain to ourselves. I may just wear some sexy clothes while skiing just for my Carlisle. He would like that. I have a lot to do before we leave, I am going to cook some more with Edward so he can still bring the food to the shelter every week while we are gone. We are thinking about staying for a month, but we might decide to stay longer. It all depends on how much fun we are having, and how much I miss my children. It is almost as hard to be away from them as it is to be away from Carlisle. Well, I am going to have Edward go for a hunt with me and begin cooking; it’s going to take me a while. I will probably not have time to write again until we have arrived at our resort. I will update as soon as I can. Always, Esme
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Diary,
Carlisle absolutely loves his new office. When he got home he gave me a big hug and kissed me lightly, I told him the kids and I had a surprise for him. He smiled brightly and replied “I have a surprise for you too my love.” I giggled and hugged him again as I led him up the stairs to his new office. He gasped when I open the door. He called the kids and hugged each of them and kissed them on the head as he thanked them. They graciously accepted the thanks, and agreed that they were glad to do it for him because he deserved it. After the kids went back downstairs Carlisle pulled me into his arms and kissed me passionately. After we finished kissing he asked me to go for a hunt with him. While we were hunting I asked about my surprise, he told me I would have to wait. There he goes making me feel like a little giddy girl again. Once we finally returned home from our hunt we went into his new office and he sat at his desk and pulled me into his lap. He began to kiss me again, and I started to wonder what has gotten him so intimate today. He must have missed me more than I thought. Not that I would complain about it, I love when he gets like this with me. He eventually decided to tell me about my surprise. A honeymoon!! He wants to take me on a second honeymoon! That explains why he is being like this; it has been so long since we have been on our own for a while. It will be nice. After much discussion we decided it would be nice to go skiing in Chili. Carlisle is going to look into renting out a large part of the resort just for us. We can’t exactly be there when other people are there. They would notice we were different the second we stepped into the sun. This is going to be so great. I can’t wait to spend some alone time with my wonderful husband. He is so thoughtful. I am going to spend time with my husband now, I will update about our trip when we get a call back about renting the resort. I really hope we can. Always, Esme Diary,
My Carlisle comes home today. I have missed him so much. I feel like a giddy little teenage girl. It is so hard being away from each other. The kids have helped a lot. They decided it would be a good idea to build Carlisle a new office while he was away. While they were busy building, I planned how to decorate it. His old office was so small and overflowing there was almost no room for him to sit as his desk. It always made me giggle a little when I walked by and saw him in there. He looked squished. The kids made the office more than twice the size of his old one, with shelves wrapping all but one wall. Together we moved all of his things to the new office and I placed his paintings neatly on the only wall without shelves. Even with all the room and shelves there still was not enough space for all of his books. We decided to keep his old office as storage for the extra books. I went out and got him a new big comfy chair for his old office so that he can sit in there and read if he wants to. Carlisle should be home soon, I am going to help the kids finish cleaning up and put something pretty on for him. I will update soon to let you know how he liked his new office. Always, Esme Diary,
The last time I wrote I was very upset about Rosalie getting revenge on those poor boys that hurt her. Since then things have gone back to normal, it has been pretty calm here. Edward has been helping me out alot in the kitchen. I think he enjoys helping the less fortunate people as well. We have gotten quite good at cooking without being able to taste our food, everyone seems to enjoy it. I really do need to re-stock the kitchen soon. When I am not keeping myself busy in the kitchen I try to spend as much time as I can with my Carlisle. He is always so busy with work and schooling for work; it feels like I hardly ever get to see him anymore. I enjoy every minute I get to spend with him, I cherish him and love him with all my heart. Even though it is hard for me when he is away all the time, I am really very proud of him, his strength and how much he cares, it astonishes me. I feel weak from the smell of the blood after visiting him at work for only a few minutes. I don’t know how he does it. This next week is going to be so hard, he has a meeting in New York he has to go to for work, and I cannot go with him. We have to try to stay away from the areas we have lived and that is just too close. I always feel so empty and lost when he is gone, I will have to try to plan something with the kids to keep my mind busy. I am going to go talk to the kids to see if they want to do something with me while Carlisle is gone. Then I am going to spend as much time as I can with my husband. I am going to miss him. Always, Esme Diary,
Rosalie got her revenge. No matter how hard we all tried to talk her out of it, she would not listen. Even after killing the first four boys she would not stop when we begged her to. We told her it was not worth it, but she demanded it was. Although I am horrified at what she had done, I am proud she did not spill a single drop of blood. I don’t know how to feel right now, part of me says I should be angry with her, but then I understand. She was hurt so badly, she did not choose this life, nor would she have. I feel so bad for her, but I feel so bad for those poor boys and their families. No one deserves to be hurt that way. I find myself very torn. Carlisle has tried to talk to Rosalie and make her understand that what she did is wrong. She knows that, she just doesn’t care; she honestly believes that they all deserved it. We really had nothing to say about it after that. I decided to get out of the house for a while, and asked Carlisle if he would like to go hunt with me. We stayed out for a few hours after we finished hunting, just spending time together. I love being around him, I wish we never had to leave each others side. There are no words that can explain how much I love my husband. He is the best most caring person, err I mean vampire I have ever met. I laid in my Carlisle’s arms and looked deep into his eyes, seeing all his love and joy of being with me, I smiled ear to ear and whispered “I love you so much my dear.” He leaned down and gently kissed my lips, making me almost melt, and whispered “I love you too my lovely Esme, you and our children are my world, we should get back to them.” I sighed lightly and agreed, and we headed home. I love being a mother, and I love my children more than anyone can imagine. But sometimes it is nice to be away with my Carlisle. Just get to lay together and hold each other forever. It’s nice to come home to my children though. Oh I almost forgot, Edward heard my previous thoughts of wanting to learn to cook, to use our gorgeous kitchen. He went out and bought me a bunch of cookbooks, and some nice pots and pans and everything I would need to cook, along with a bunch of containers to bring the food to the shelter. He thought it was an amazing idea seeing as so many people have fallen on hard times. I have been in the kitchen experimenting a lot, but it is hard when I can not taste it to see if it is right. I just follow the recipes exactly and hope they turn out okay. I make huge batches of food, and pack it up and Carlisle and I drop it off at a near by shelter. Well, I am going to go cook some more, it kind of keeps my mind off things, I will see if Edward wants to help. Always, Esme Diary,
We are all moved into our new place. We decided on a lovely small town in Georgia. The towns name is Fairmount. We are very close to the Cherokee National Forest, which is great for hunting. The only downside is that it is sunny a lot, but we have so many trees surrounding us we don’t really have to worry about that. Our house is amazing. My Carlisle never ceases to amaze me when picking out a new home for our family. This one is twice the size as our old home, to give room for the new addition to our family. There are 5 bedrooms, a huge living room, and a glorious kitchen. I may lean to cook just to get to use it. I could donate the food to charity. The back yard is spectacular; it stretches right into a small forest. It didn’t take us long to get everything moved in, thanks to the super speed and strength. We rented a large moving truck and some movers to keep up looks. It was so boring waiting for the movers to move things, it took them 2 hours to move things we would have had done in 10 minuets. Edward insisted on moving his piano himself, he set it up in the living room where we can all here in play. Once the movers finished I decided to go for a walk with Rosalie to explore and talk while the weather would permit it. While Rosalie and I were in town we found a lovely dress shop. Needless to say we indulged. I love being able to spoil a girl, it’s so fun buying her dresses. She loves them all. We bought so many things we had to have half of them delivered, as there would be questions if two young ladies carried 50 pounds of clothing home on their own. It makes me laugh to have to ask for help when I know I don’t need it. Rosalie seems to enjoy it though. We finished our shopping and went hunting. We ran all the way into the forest and found some large deer roaming, we helped ourselves to two each; shopping makes us hungry. After our hunt we returned home. While we were out I tried to talk to Rosalie about a few things, I almost brought up Royce, but I realized after letting his name slip that it was a bad idea and quickly shut my mouth. “It’s ok Esme, I can talk about it a little, what do you want to know?” she asked lightly. “Well, I was just wondering if you are going to be okay, knowing he is still alive, I understand that you hate him, but I am afraid you will want to do something to him.” I asked carefully. “You are right to worry, I have a revenge plan for him, and he WILL pay for what he did to me.” She was nearly screaming by the end of her sentence. I was afraid for her at this point. “Rosalie my dear, he will be punished in his own way, you do not have to risk yourself to hurt him, please don’t try to get revenge, it is never a pretty thing, you are much to pretty a girl to do something so ugly.” I was begging. I didn’t want anything to happen to my daughter, I had only just gotten to know her. What if she exposed herself? I can’t even imagine it. I don’t know if my begging convinced her any. I can only hope. Once we were home I found my Carlisle, in his study of course. I told him of my conversation with Rosalie, and he decided he would have a conversation with her as well. He told me all about it later. He told her that revenge would be dangerous, not to only her but to our entire family. She would risk exposing us, or ruin her vegetarian diet by feeding on them. She told him she had no intention of feeding off of any of the vile blood that runs through their disgusting veins. She said slyly that she had it all carefully planned out so that she wouldn’t spill a drop of blood and risk having the need to taste their horrid flavor. “Nothing that EVIL could possibly taste good” she stated as she stomped out of the room. Carlisle followed her and relentlessly tried to talk her out of it. He may still be trying. I am worried about Rosalie, this revenge could destroy her. On the other hand, it may be good for her, not that I want her to. Now about Edward, he has been very quiet and distant again. I don’t know if there is anything I can do to help him this time. He seems to be a little more okay when he and Rosalie are getting along. But that doesn’t happen often. He seems to cringe away from her most of the time, I wonder if it has to do with her thought. What goes on in that girls mind? I wonder if I can get Edward to watch her thoughts for her revenge, maybe he can help us stop her. I should really be going now. There is nothing else for me to share, and I need to catch Edward before he runs off again, I am going to ask him about Rosalie’s revenge. I will update you soon. Always, Esme Diary,
Rosalie has been a vampire for a little over a week now. We have told her everything that we thought she should know; our pasts, how we all met, and most importantly the rules. She listened very politely while we all shared with her. First Carlisle told her all about his past, it is painful to see him remember the horrible things he has been through. As he told of how he met Edward, the story silently shifted to Edward speaking. I comforted my husband as our son told of his past and how Carlisle saved him at his mother’s request. Soon the story transitioned to me, and I took over. I told her everything, my Carlisle sat by my side holding my hand through it all. If I could cry, I would have, a lot. I told her of my parents forcing me to marry, when all I wanted was to become a school teacher. I shared all of the horrible things my husband did to me, how he beat me and treated me like trash, and that no matter how horrible he was, I was coached to be a ‘good wife’. How happy I was when he left for the war, and how scared I was when he returned. The most painful thing I had to share was my baby, my little boy. I carried that monsters child for nine months, loving my baby every day. I gave birth to him alone, only for him to die shortly after. It is the clearest and most painful memory I have, even more than my change. It breaks my heart every time I think of him. I sullenly shared my suicide attempt, that I had jumped off a cliff and it almost worked. The doctors all thought I was dead, until Carlisle found me in the morgue. My heart was faintly beating, only his vampire hearing could pick it up. I couldn’t speak anymore, I felt like I was going to fall apart. Carlisle took over from there. He explained his attraction to me, and his need to stop my suffering. His decision to change me was easy. He explained that we did not fall in love instantly as I was not too sure of men after my first husband. But as the years went by we realized how much we loved each other and got married. He really is the best thing to ever happen to me. Now after sharing my story and thinking of my past, after having not thought of it in so long, I see why I was so drawn to Rosalie. We really are a lot alike. All either of us wants is to be a mother. I was lucky enough to shortly have that opportunity, and I have it again with my lovely adopted children, but it is not the same. I understand Rosalie’s pain and aversion to being a vampire. She was going to get married, have and raise children, grow old with her love and watch her children get married and have children of their own. That was my dream to, at one time. I wanted nothing more than to have that dream come true. I am okay with it now. It still hurts sometimes but I can deal with it much better, she will lean too. One day she will find her mate and maybe they will have adoptive children of their own. Until then she is my little girl, and I will take care of her the best I can. I am happy she has decided to stay with us. I will help her overcome her pain. I will teach her to be a real lady, not the way her mother showed her. I will help her to be as kind and as loving as I am. We will grow together, and help each other get over our pasts. I really do hope she will open up more, and not be so afraid of the boys touching her. But I understand, she went through a lot, and I don’t expect her to be okay with everything just yet. Well it has been very hard for me to relive that experience again so I am going to go for a walk my wonderful Carlisle. It will be nice to spend a little bit of time together. He always knows how to make me feel better. Always, Esme Diary,
I placed my hand lightly on Rosalie’s shoulder “Rosalie, my dear girl, you are a vampire now, Carlisle saved you after those awful boys hurt you. I know it’s hard to accept, but you have time, and help from us.” I said soothingly. She shrugged away from me and turned her back to us. “I don’t know if I can do this” she whispered. We showed her to the mirror to help her understand and maybe accept it. She looked shocked, but excited. She smiled lovingly as she traced her new features, but shied away from her eyes. We explained to her that her eyes will remain red as long as she has human blood in her system, we told her how we survive on out ‘vegetarian diet’ and that if she chooses to stay with us we would like her to adhere to our diet and her eyes will turn golden as well. I do hope she stays with us. I feel so drawn to this young lady. I wish there was some way I could explain it better. I am so happy at the thought of having a daughter. I love my son, but a daughter… I would have never thought it would happen. I will be so crushed if she chooses to leave us. I am starting to have the family I have always dreamed of. A husband who is perfect in every way, a son so caring and smart he would make any mother beam, and now the possibility of having a daughter so gorgeous any guy would melt. For now she has decided to stay with us, I just hope that the decision remains the same when she becomes more comfortable with being a vampire. My daughter Rosalie, I just LOVE the sound of that. I am going to go spend time with my daughter, I am going to try to get to know her better, get her to open up to me. Show her that I will always be there for her, and that she can always count on me. Just as I do with Edward. Oh and that reminds me, my sweet boy is constantly surprising me. When Rosalie’s change was almost finished, he snuck out of the house and into her old home, to try to find anything that could help her transition. My sweet boy. Well, I will be going now, to spend time with my little girl, and to begin packing our home once again, we must move. We wouldn’t want to expose ourselves. I will write again soon to tell you all about my time with my daughter and tell you all about our new place. Always, Esme Diary,
I was right to have worried so much about Miss Rosalie Hale being with that pig Royce King. He and his friends were drunk and attacked the poor girl on her way home, they left her for dead. Luckily my caring Carlisle found her on his way home and saved her. He brought her home to us, and bit her to begin the change. She is screaming in agony in our basement. The poor girl is screaming for us to kill her, she doesn’t know what is going on, she says we are torturing her. She will understand soon. I wish there was a way I could help her with the pain. I am going to go sit with her. Always, Esme April 23, 1933 Diary, She is still in so much pain but it is beginning to fade. At one point when she seemed almost okay I asked her if I may redress her and she whimpered out a faint ‘yes’. I dressed her in one of my pretty dresses, she would love it. I have tried explaining to her but she yells for us to just let her die every time I speak. It pains me to know how much pain she is in, I remember it well. You feel like nothing will ever stop it, like you are burning. I sat with her all day, and now Carlisle has asked to be alone with her, to try to explain things to her. She will not listen to any of us. Edward will not even try, he does not seem happy to have a new addition. I do hope they will get along, maybe he will learn to love her and then my sweet boy can be happy. I am going to go talk with Edward, ask him if he can be nice to her. Always, Esme April 24, 1933 Diary, The change is almost finished, she has not been screaming as much today. In a few short hours she will awake as a vampire. I hope she takes it well, and wishes to join our family. I love my son, but it would be wonderful to have a daughter, another lady in the house. Edward has agreed to give her a chance if she wishes to stay with us. I am very grateful for that. I am going to sit with Carlisle while we wait for the change to finish, so we can explain things to her together when she awakens. I will let you know how everything goes afterward. Always, Esme Diary,
The whole town was invited to a huge ball by Mr. Royce King. No one was sure what exactly the ball was for but we decided it would be nice to go, to keep up pretences. It was really a beautiful occasion. About half way through, Mr. Royce came in and announced the purpose of the ball. It was really an engagement party for him and Miss Rosalie Hale. They really make a beautiful couple, however she seems to have some doubts, as do I. I still am not sure why I worry about her so much. I guess I shouldn’t. The celebrations lasted well into the night, we had to leave early. Things were getting uncomfortable with all of the humans around us. We needed to hunt. Edward, Carlisle and I all went out for a hunt and indulged more than we probably should have. Feeling very full we all returned home. Edward locked himself in his room, Carlisle and I sat in the living room talking about my island. We are going to redecorate the house. Carlisle gave up trying to help me decorate, I am so picky sometimes. So I will do it myself. Decorating is my second love, my family being my first of course. Speaking of which, I am going to go check on Edward, he has been really quiet lately, and has been alone in his room since we returned from our hunt. Always, Esme |
InfoEsme Cullen the vampire matriarch of the Olympic Coven. She is the wife of Carlisle Cullen and the adoptive mother of Alice, Emmett, Edward Cullen, Rosalie and Jasper Hale. Discover the world through her eyes. Esme's Diary is written by Kayla Fan PageClick here to read first entryArchives |