Topic: I am so confused….I thought I had feelings for Zane, and maybe I do…but there is something about Blake that’s bothering me…when I am with him I get this gut feeling it’s like something strange has come over me this spark…and I am drawn to him like a moth to the flame, yet there is a part of me screaming to run because this flame will burn me alive….this can’t be love I barely know him…No it’s not love it’s not even a crush it’s just curiosity that’s all!.
Date: 7th May, 2025 Dear Diary It’s been two days since Emily’s party; I have spent the last two days trying to text her and call her, yet no reply. Kara is furious at me because I danced with the new guy Blake…Today at school well it was a long day, it kind of reminded me of my first day of high school, I felt alone and overwhelmed. Kara was my closest friend and she was just ignoring me, it was at lunch time I approached her when she sat alone in the cafeteria and joined her she looked at me and said nothing just going back to eating. “Kara I swear nothing happened with Blake, ok it was just a dance,” she stopped eating and looked at me. “You knew I wanted to dance with him I told you that.” She spoke out with anger; at this point I could feel my temper boiling and I made a fist and looked Kara directly in the eyes, “he asked me to dance ok and I didn’t want to be rude…you’re my friend Kara we been friends for a long time and you know I would never hurt you,” of course being a teenage girl I stood up and stormed away leaving Kara to stew in those thoughts of hers. Jane and I had Biology together we sat next to each other in silence, I looked at Jane, stealing a glance I still thought it was bizarre to be going to school with a twelve year old…how could someone be that smart, could it have been genetics…upbringing maybe it was just divine providence. Still I wonder what thoughts go on in that head of hers. She was quiet and we did our class work in silence when she spoke. “What are your intentions with my older brother Blake?” She was so emotionless, how could I answer it I have no idea “I don’t have any intentions with your brother Jane…other than maybe being his friend.” She watched me for a moment longer before saying “very well” and the bell rang and thank god school was over. After class I went to drop off my books at my locker and then to the car park, as usual the new girl Jane was at the parking lot waiting for her mom to pick her up only today there were three girls standing in front of her, oh I knew these three girls well…I guess you could call them the school bullies, they pretty much had Jane cornered as she sat on the bench. I could have just walked away I mean this was not my problem…I could have just gone to my car drove home and put on Kung Fu hustle…of course having a conscious and a sense of morality that could distinguish between right and wrong that didn’t happen. I could never leave a twelve year old to get bullied by three cows…even if that twelve year old was a creepy little oompa loompa. I had made my way down to the girls and rather than confront them directly I had spoken out “Hey Jane thanks for waiting for me, I was just helping the teacher get her stuff she will be out any minute” Jane had looked at me for a moment with confusion and there was something about her…she looked scary, was I the only one who noticed how scary Jane looked…seriously village of the damned scary. The bullies of course left not wanting to face a teacher unless they had to. “I could have handled that situation on my own” she said with no emotion as usual, “your welcome Jane.” I said with a smile and continued to the car, getting home I went straight to my paradise and just laid on the couch after chucking the school bag in the corner…I knew I had homework and assessments…I should be doing them, but come on I just need some time to myself, a girl needs time to relax. Closing my eyes I started to drift off to sleep and I had this bizarre dream of Captain Jack Sparrow running from a bunch of squirrels with light sabres….I was awoken to my phone going off the message was surprisingly enough from a number I didn’t recognized. It had read the following Hello Aphrodite It’s Blake I had a blast the other night, I was wondering if you would like to come over to my place and perhaps spend some time with me? Ok this was creepy how the heck did Blake get my mobile number…checking the time on my clock I saw it was only four pm I had slept for only an hour, getting up I frowned and texted back “how did you get my number?” to which he responded almost instantly, it’s a secret. I scowled. Walking to my bedroom I got changed because let’s face it no way I am going to meet a teenage guy in my school uniform…I have watched TV I know what guys fantasize about. So I put on a white short sleeved top and a pair of jeans. Wearing shoes and socks I walked to my car and climbed in and drove to Blake’s place. I parked around the corner of his place for no particular reason and walked up to the front door, before I could even knock on the front door it opened and there Blake stood wearing a pair of jeans he was topless and I could feel myself blush, I mean I didn’t mean to stare at him…it’s just, well come on he is smoking hot…granted he could use a tan, but come on. “Hey Aphrodite…wasn’t expecting you so soon, you caught me off guard, why don’t you come on in.” he spoke in a velvet voice. “Huh” I said like a dumbfounded idiot, of course I wanted to kick myself for being an idiot. I mean how shallow it to get distracted by his flawless sexy chest was. Blake had left me in the living room and excused himself to get changed. The family had a pretty nice place, they had to be wealthy because their stuff looked expensive. It was a few seconds later the front door opened and closed and someone walked through the living room she stopped as she observed me and I looked at her, this woman was incredible her beauty could be along the lines of statuesque, she had long lustrous mahogany hair and she was tall, her legs were long…If I had to estimate I would have to say she was 5’10 she wore a long red dress with black gloves that went to the elbows and knee high boots. “Well hello there stranger” she said in a silky voice. “Uh hi,” I mumbled nervously, still in awe of her beauty. “I am Heidi Napolitiano, what are you doing in my house young lady.” She introduced herself so elegantly and her voice held emotion. “Uh I am a friend of Blake’s…well uh sort of.” I said, well it was the truth it’s not like I can just call him a friend we have barely spoken to each other, I felt this strangest sensation…it was like I was drawn to Heidi, it was strange when I walked towards her everything in my head was telling me something wasn’t right, she smiled at me with those perfect teeth, the more my mind screamed at me the easier it became easier to resist the feeling of being drawn to her. “My name is Aphrodite… Mrs Napolitiano and I just wanted to tell you I think you have a lovely home.” I spoke casually. Heidi seemed surprised, her smile had wavered for just a moment and then the smile returned. “Why thank you for the complement my dear…may I say your name suits you well...…just keep Blake’s bedroom door open…and we shall have no problems.” She said moving on to the kitchen. It was a few moments before Blake returned, wearing a skin tight white T shirt. I started to feel guilty for checking the guy out, sure I wasn’t touching him and all, but I felt guilty I knew Kara liked him and what about Zane I liked him and god knows I tried to flirt with him, but he never acted on it on it. “So would you like to come to my bedroom?” he asked with a devilish smile, he looked so damn hot….curse my teenage hormones, curse them to hell, was all I could think at the time and agreed to go with Blake to his bedroom, I entered the room and looked around it was simple and pretty much clean which was bizarre. Blake tried to close the bedroom door, “Leave it open,” I spoke softly, my heart pounding in my chest. Blake just looked at me and smiled “sure whatever makes you happy.” He walked to his bed and sat on it laying on the double queen sized bed, it looked spacious and inviting, examining Blake’s bedroom was interesting there many books on his bookshelves, at his desk it was pretty tidy, the CD player rested on the corner of the desk, of course the desk was against the wall and if you were sitting there and you looked up from the desk you had a window view to the outside. The walls and ceiling was white and there were no carpet, just polished floorboards. “Let’s see what’s in your CD player” I said playfully watching him smile, turning it on I listened to the song it was Behind blue eyes by Limp Bizkit. It was a surprising song…I looked at Blake, watching his face, he kept the same calm grin on his face. I had this theory about music, it’s probably obvious and practical, but it’s not like I hear anyone confirming it…anyway my theory is we are drawn by certain types of music…because we relate to the music in some way. Sure Blake didn’t have blue eyes, but something is telling me he is suffering. I walked over to his bed and sat at the edge of it “Tell me young Aphrodite what was the last movie you watched?” it was strange the way he called me young and I rolled my eyes. Stretching for just a split moment I decide to get it out of the way. “The last movie I watched was Mulan” as soon as I said the name of the movie he let out a snort and I scowled at him. “What! Mulan is awesome.” I folded my arms, he let out a scoff “sure if you like retro kiddie movies….such a nerd I suppose that comes from someone from a religious girl school.” Of course I stood up and Blake watched me curiously. “Ok so Pinocchio lies all the time, Tarzan lives half naked, Cinderella came home at midnight and Snow White lived with seven men….nooo their not bad influences at all.” I moved to his desk chair and sat on it. He seemed to watch me intently. “So Blake….tell me about you and your family.” Blake’s curious gaze became somewhat curious. “I was born and raised in Volterra, Italy. I have a little sister named Jane with the personality of a pit bull…oh you already met her…I also have an older sister named Renata, she moved with us from Volterra she is a teacher at my school, teaching history…My father’s name is Aro. I have a big family in Volterra Italy….now it’s my turn for a question,” he said, which had caught me off guard, what would he want to know about me. I stood up from the desk chair. “What do you want to do when you graduate high school” he asked looking casual about the whole subject. “In all honesty I don’t know what I want to do with my life, it’s something I been trying to figure out…Apart of me just wants to run.” As soon as I had said it, I couldn’t believe the words that had escaped my lips…because I realized it was true. I stood up and walked towards the door not even looking in Blake’s direction and in an instant I felt something ice cold grab my wrist I looked down to see Blake’s pale hand on my wrist holding it, looking up slowly past my shoulder I saw him with his smile, he leaned into my ear and whispered seductively “is this a little too personal for you?” his voice was so alluring. “Yes,” I whispered back and he let go and apologized, I think I wanted to run out of Blake’s house screaming and I left his room, I knew I had to get out. I could hear Blake’s footsteps behind me and the next thing I knew I was leaning against the wall looking at him with both his arms blocking my escape. I looked into those cold dark eyes of his and saw that smile, again I had felt that mysterious sensation course through my brains and I wanted to fight it with all the will power I had, and as Blake leaned in close to kiss me, I ducked under his arm to get to the side and placed my hand at the back of his head pushing it into the wall, the strange thing is it should have been easy to push his head into the wall, but it was like he was made out of cement, I could feel the push but at the same time it felt like resistance and eventually his head hit the wall “I don’t feel like that about you Blake….respect my boundaries.” I told him, he backed away and rubbed his head looking at me with curiosity in his gaze. We looked at each other, and I felt that feeling again, the feeling that makes me want to give in to that strange feeling. “NO” I said out to both myself for caving into that feeling and to Blake which surprised him, I heard something hit the ground and when I looked to the side I could see Kara, she had dropped her school books and Jane was beside her Kara bent over to pick up her books. I had called her name and Kara ran out the house, I followed after her leaving Blake’s house and onto the side path I asked Kara to stop, and she didn’t until I caught up with her and placed my hand on her shoulder, Kara turned around and she looked furious. “You lied to me Aphrodite, you lied right to my face and told me nothing was going on between you two.” she spoke with venom in her voice, she was beyond pissed. “Nothing is going on Kara, look will you calm down, you just met this guy a few days ago and you’re acting like a freak….he isn’t your property and he isn’t mine ok…what the hell is wrong with you Kara?” I asked her. “I should be asking you that….you two faced bitch, I thought you were the type of friend to stay away from a guy when your friend tells you she likes him…lose my number Aphrodite, I am through with you.” She spoke out aggressively. I was in shock Kara’s words….they were like a slap to the face, and she had never called me a bitch before Kara stormed off and I turned around and saw Blake and Jane watching from their front door, could they have heard it….no, Kara wasn’t loud enough, there were definitely out of hearing range. I felt something fall down the sides of my face I touched it and looked at it….it was tears…I was crying, I couldn’t go back into Blake’s house no way…I went to my car and hopped in. My baby roared as I put my foot to the gas and drove off speeding…I couldn’t believe it I lost a friend….over a boy and it wasn’t even a boy I liked, hell I didn’t even flirt with him this wasn’t fair…I had gotten myself home somehow and went straight to my room locking the door and putting on My Chemical Romance, Famous last words leaving it on replay and jumping on my bed, I looked up at the ceiling trying to understand how everything came to be like this. While doing this I received a text from Blake apologizing, but I wasn’t ready to even think about dealing with it so I placed my phone on silent and just started confiding in you hoping as I see the words that escape from the depths of my mind….my heart that I could figure out when all this got nuts, but seeing as this has also failed I may just go to lay down. ~Aphrodite
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